Advice and tips on working with my very nervous first horse? (Update #12: Great news at last!)

[Angela_Freda]

This.
And once you sell them you have zero control, and horses end up bad places, even with contracts, even if you’re careful.

I got incredibly lucky. Bought my first horse about three months off the track, cheap.
But I rode from age 14 on, I had years -no a decade- of lessons, and working at the barn behind me. And I still had no business buying that horse.

We survived, and I had him 24 years, six of those after he was retired. But I’m completely and thoroughly aware that I was incredibly, incredibly lucky.

OP, its rare that COTH members come to a consensus on something, but everyone here is agreeing on the major points.
I hope you don’t feel beat up, understand we just don’t want you going from frying pan to dumpster fire, and mean well.

[CBoylen]

I’m normally really reluctant to disparage professionals here, since we almost never get the entire or correct story from the poster. However, judging from your posts and giving you the benefit of the doubt, yours are either a) completely uninvested in you or b) completely lacking in basic horse sense, and have ignored or overlooked every single small opportunity where they could have helped you. I wouldn’t trust them to recommend a dry cleaner, let alone a vet or farrier.

[akhunterrider]

I’ve owned a few horses I’ve had no business owning (TB mare I was hell bent on owning as a teen that had a dangerous rearing problem, my red TB gelding I bought as an adult who also had a rearing problem for most of the time I owned him and a barely broke gelding) and I’ve been riding (and taking lessons) for 25 years. We all sometimes make choices that aren’t the best (whatever the circumstances). I do think we all are really just trying to do the best we can.

I agree 100% that we can’t control the outcome of the unpredictable animals we sometimes encounter. We can only do our best to place them as appropriately as possible.

OP: I wish nothing but the absolute best for you and your mare, but I think you need to truly consider to what end will you explore treatments and spending money on this horse. Determine when and how much money you will spend before you cut your losses and move on.

[hemitheconyxcaudicinctus]

@akhunterrider

You’ve not mentioned (at least not that I’ve seen) what your skill level is with horses, other than this is the first horse you’ve owned. Are you a skilled rider? Are you a beginner?

I’ve been riding for almost 4 years now in weekly lessons, with the usual childhood riding lessons way in the past too. I’ve ridden horses who are a lot more difficult than her and stay on through bucks, spooks, etc. In general when she was under saddle she was easier and safer than the ones I’m used to because I wanted to go a step down from what I deal with when somebody else is around to help me. I’m comfortable riding her alone and she’s sensible enough under saddle to be trusted. I know a lot of this thread probably makes it seem like I’m fresh off the turnip truck but I think a lot of that is because it’s focused on things I’m having trouble with, not all the things I know how to do/can do well.

I’m used to dealing with pushy, piggish horses when they’re difficult as opposed to horses who need to be comforted/reassured, so her emotional needs are a little alien to me and that’s been an adjustment.

@akhunterrider

1. how long were you working with this trainer before buying a horse?
2. why didn’t you have your trainer find horses for you to look at instead of searching on your own?

1. 4 years. I know people here have a negative opinion of her but I feel like everyone’s not getting the full picture. She’s very talented and a wonderful teacher.
2. She was also helping me find horses, but there aren’t very many horses around this area that are tall enough for me/suitable for my level of riding skill. I started looking at sales barns after months of visiting private owners and getting disappointed/let down because she got a wonderful horse from a sales barn and several of my favorite lessonhorses, real solid citizens, were from sales barns. She warned me that I needed to be very very careful and avoid getting one from there if I can because they’re ultimately just there to make a quick buck, but was willing to help me vet horses if I did find one I liked there. She encouraged me to get a PPE as I was planning on doing and viewed dozens and dozens of videos for different horses. There were a lot of horses I looked at that she did rule out as unsuitable. In Ginger’s videos she had a nice slow trot and was a solid citizen, so I went to visit her, and I liked how she was under saddle and on the ground. Conveyed the results of the first ride and videos to instructor, instructor asked me you know do you really really like this horse and at the time I was like yes, I feel safe with her (which I still do), etc.

[hemitheconyxcaudicinctus]

@akhunterrider

an appropriate horse (which I don’t think this horse is regardless of physical issues currently plaguing her) from the beginning.

Yeah, I’m not arguing with that. She seemed like a great first horse initially and as you’ve seen from the trajectory of this thread it’s quickly turned into a nightmare scenario in every possible way. Not the first horse experience I wanted in a million years and I went to elaborate measures to avoid this specific situation because I knew I wasn’t ready to deal with something like this. I never, ever wanted a project horse. Unfortunately, everything lined up perfectly to create this nightmare and ergo, here I am.

[hemitheconyxcaudicinctus]

Also just… speaking of people on COTH coming to rare consensuses, I want to thank everyone for the sympathy/general sentiment of just… acknowledging that I’m right to be upset and that it’s not fair and that it’s a horrid situation to be in. Just the validation that yes, it’s okay and normal to be upset even though it’s a tremendous privilege to own a horse has really helped me deal with this emotionally. Thank you all, for real.

[Scribbler]

@hemitheconyxcaudicinctus

Also just… speaking of people on COTH coming to rare consensuses, I want to thank everyone for the sympathy/general sentiment of just… acknowledging that I’m right to be upset and that it’s not fair and that it’s a horrid situation to be in. Just the validation that yes, it’s okay and normal to be upset even though it’s a tremendous privilege to own a horse has really helped me deal with this emotionally. Thank you all, for real.

Yes. Absolutely you have been cheated in this sale. But now you have a horse that you rather like as a person dependent on you. It’s really hard to call the future here but you have some time and resources to try different things and it’s quite possible you end up with a functional horse out of this. At the very least you will have learned an enormous amount for your next horse.

[jherold]

Nothing to add. Just hugs and sympathy for having to deal with all this. Hang in there!

[ShenanAnna]

Hugs.

[akhunterrider]

I don’t mean to come across as mean or insensitive, so I apologize if it seems that way. I am just frustrated for you because of how this situation began and how it has continued to unfold. You truly have all of my deepest sympathies.

[hemitheconyxcaudicinctus]

Ok gang, off to see the farrier and get some shoes on her. Fingers crossed, going to see what his opinion of the situation on the whole is too. Vet said they’re very busy and doesn’t have a date for the foot workup yet.

[stargzng386]

Yup ulcers turned my sweet kick ride born broke horse to bronco buck off any rider the second you swung your leg over. He was also much spookier on the ground.

[hemitheconyxcaudicinctus]

@wanderlust

I do think you probably need to consult a different vet or take her to Myhre or New England Equine (my preference)

Myhre is who’s going to do the bone shave and 3wks stall rest/rehab before she’s released for groundwork rehab. Re: scoping, unfortunately insurance retroactively added it as a pre-existing condition when she first developed them and a 900$ scope is not in the budget right now with how much her other issues are costing.

[hemitheconyxcaudicinctus]

Update 10

Great news!! The farrier looked at her feet and Ms. Beastie got aluminum front shoes. Almost immediately she was walking much better on the pavement and more willing to walk on rocky/sandy areas, though she’s still balking a little bit. It’s still a change, and this was just after they had just been applied 5 minutes prior, so she may still just be apprehensive because she remembers the displeasure of walking in those areas without shoes and hasn’t yet learned that it won’t be the same when she walks there with shoes.
Looking forward to seeing how she does tomorrow when we get back into our usual work (groundwork, poles/flexibility etc for her back and stiffness).
Being around her again after taking a break and not going to the barn yesterday was clarifying. It’s not like I’m doing this for a rude, mean-spirited horse with aggression issues, or one who’s just sour, or one who couldn’t care less about the presence of people. She’s a sweet and gentle girl. I want to see her living her best life and even if I don’t feel soulbonded to her I like her a lot and feel okay about the idea of her continuing to be my horse after we go through fixing the KS.

[lenapesadie]

I’m glad to hear the shoes seem to be helping a bit. I’m sad to hear all your recent updates re kissing spines.

Imo it’s sensible to do the KS surgery while it’s covered by insurance. You can keep working on her feet at the same time.

If you think her stomach maybe bothering her, I’ve had good luck with Outlast given 2-4 x daily on my old TB. It’s not stupid expensive but it’s not dirt cheap either. Something to possibly consider.

[stargzng386]

I would call a few places for prices I live in a very high cost of living area and have never paid more than $400 plus a farm call

So glad to hear the shoes are helping! Any steps forward are awesome

[hemitheconyxcaudicinctus]

Here are the much requested Feet Pics. As the farrier pointed out, her toes are short - she paws a lot.

[hemitheconyxcaudicinctus]

And DJ Kissing Spine’s summer swagger.

[IPEsq]

$900 would be crazy high price here for a scope. But if you are still leaning heavily toward surgery, I’d do Ulcergard or sucralfate whatever now as needed and then scope her at the clinic after if you are still questioning ulcers then. Sucralfate is pretty cheap and some respond to it quite well.

[cayuse]

OP I’m in your area, like IPEsq and Stargzng said, that quote is really high for a scope. I just had one done at the clinic and it was under 300.