^^^This, for sure!!!
I vote for text in addition to email. I rarely check my email.
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Concussion is a bitch, but are you getting any help with it? Could be useful to talk to a specialized counselor who can give you some tips for new life skills. Iâve had to recover from chemo brain fog over the past 4 years. Finally getting an outsider perspective was so useful.
It sounds like you are getting more and more limited, which can be a reinforcing downward spiral.
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FWIW, as someone who was not asked to leave: my trainer just did this with a few boarders (a couple have horses with health issues that are really not served by being at her barn (too much grass and no dry lots in existence, mainly) which also preclude their participation in âthe programâ, another just does not have the confidence or personal ambition in even her non-competitive riding to fit my trainerâs business model) and the rest of us have shrugged our shoulders and wondered why she didnât do it sooner. When itâs that obvious it doesnât strike fear in others, at least in my experience. No written communication went to those of us who are staying because we all see her weekly at minimum, she just let us know it was happening and that was that.
I know when my horse is ready to retire (not for at least a decade, hopefully) Iâll have to move him. My intention is to have my own farm by then so he can be spoiled for the remainder of his life at home with me, but my competition horse(s) will always be at my trainerâs. Her business model is to have all of us regularly taking lessons at minimum (exceptions made for temporary injuries) and we all know that. As long as itâs clear what the expectations are, there arenât that many problems (and the people who do cause problems in that clear-cut scenario would probably cause problems in any scenario, IMO).
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Do you need the help of boarders being around when hubby travels? Otherwise, Iâd close the boarding business, keep the lesson program going and give yourself time to rest and heal.
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Definitely, but also assume that both groups will read both emails even if you send them correctly. Boarders talk. Donât put anything in either email that you wouldnât want the other side reading.
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Good point. The other feature OP has no control overâŠeven if she sends the emails at the same time, there is no guarantee everyone will read it at the same time.
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Yes, I have a neurologist that is a concussion specialist, and I went to a âConcussion Care Clinicâ. I am also in a specialized exercise program. Unfortunately the Concussion Care Clinic doesnât really acknowledge that some people donât, in fact, get better. They did provide some helpful tools though. I would like to get some one on one counselling, but I need the mental space/energy for that. Working on that.
it is nice that I have clients I can talk to pretty openly about my issues and I donât have to hide it. I think it also helps them: I teach older people (for the most part) and have clients with PTSD, anxiety etc., and my experiences give me some additional compassion on how to better coach them.
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curious, how did that go over? I help manage the barn I am at and 3 of us do the weekend feedings (when the regular workers have off) but one person has dropped out. Nobody else wants to help out so now we are down to the 2 of us and we take turns on the missing slots.
And we do it not really for the money off our board but mainly so that the barn owner still allows boarders. If this barn closes, I donât know where I would go. And you would not believe the people who constantly complain about the littlest thing. We shield the owner from that too. She is basically letting us board here out of the goodness of her heart, this is not a money making venture for her.
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This is true, but if the emails are sent at the same time then the person who hears about it from another boarder will be able to find it as soon as they pull up their email.
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I gave (verbal) notice to one of them today. It wasnât planned, she just happened to be out and asked if her horse was still causing issues (it was) and the conversation flowed from there. We were both close to crying. Then she asked if I could recommend an alternative barnâŠwhat I should have said is no, but instead I tried to think of options.
This is hard.
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I spoke to client 2 yesterday before sending her the notice, and she acknowledged it was probably for the best, and has found a barn much much closer to her house, with a trainer better suited to her horse. The last two I have emailed the letter to, but no reply yet. I will see one of them on Monday to confirm they got it and understand (they are related).
As always, they thinking about it is worse than the actual doing, but it is still hard to do it.
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One step at a time. You are getting to your destination, and you seem to be handling it with empathy. 
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Apparently 20 year olds donât check email, but all have been talked to in person. I only know that one has made concrete plans to move, but they have time. I still havenât told the other boarders anything yet - I feel I will need to when they actually leave, but we are still working on the details of additional changes, and that will be easier to do when DH is actually around.
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Sorry for the late response. My guy is very happy at this barn so it was a no brainer (plus itâs 20 minutes from my place with traffic). There arenât a lot of options where I live either.
There are only 3 boarders and come spring itâll be down to 2 so weâll be down to 4 horses instead of 5 (owners have 2 horses). Thereâs 1 outside feeder whoâs been there for a few years.
Horses are out 24/7 with shelter, access to a round bale in winter and pasture late May through October. Thereâs a spigot for each of the 2 troughs. Itâs a fairly easy setup and owners do the heavy stuff. We pick manure around round bale and shelter.
Again, sorry for the late response. Contingencies in terms of what? The 2 boarders that were asked to leave, could do field board (I donât know what the daily rate was) across the street after the move out date They were responsible for the care of their horses, their tack had to be out of the tack room by move out date. They could use the barn to groom and tack up their horses but they had to clean up the barn aisle before riding out.
They were only there for maybe a week past move out date.
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I guess in terms of consequences of âwhat if they donât leaveâ by the end date. I am hoping that wonât be an issue, but I didnât put a consequence in their notice letter, because I didnât know what to write.
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In my opinion youâre fine, it was not necessary to put a consequence in the letter, or in the verbal communication â the first communication they receive.
One of the most effective motivations is to âact as ifâ. As if of course they are moving. You maintain an implied awareness that their days here are shorter all the time.
You can mention little things you are doing âto help with their transitionâ. For example, write up what each horse is eating, exactly, including hay/forage and supplements (if any), and give it to the owner. Make sure boarder-owned things such as blankets are sorted and easily accessible, not in a communal pile. Etc.
Ask them to give you a leaving date by [date] . If they have to be out by June 30th, before the end of March tell them that they must let you know their actual planned leave date, at the latest by April 30th. Something like that.
You should definitely think of some consequences and write them down as a guideline â for yourself. There is no need to poison the atmosphere with the leaving boarders now. Maintaining openness and good relations is a good thing at this point.
Honestly re âconsequencesâ I donât know what works best for situations like this. The best outcome is to pressure them out, rather than locking up their things and other unpleasantness.
For any that are not out by June 30th or whenever is your final leave date, maybe the board rate goes up by 20% in each successive month? If it is a monthly $1,000, then in July the rate is $1,200. In August the rate is $1,440 (20% of $1,200). And so on. For those still in residence past your given last date, then is the time to start badgering them to be sure to pay the new escalating rates until they leave. Thatâs motivation! Maybe something like that (if it is legal in your state, which it may be if you give them the required legal notice period and the future amounts by month).
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If you have some boarders not leaving, may want to consult with an attorney about what you can and canât do to get them to leave, as mentioned above, so you donât do something illegal yourself.
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We were good boarders. One boarder bought a farm a couple hours away and the other had help finding a place within walking distance of her house. All their stuff had to be off property by move out date though.
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