Smarty Jones weighs in on Barbaro and other World Subjects…
LOOP CHAT ASK SMARTY JONES
The Loop has known for years that the 2004 Kentucky Derby and Preakness winner is one of the most successful thoroughbreds in racing history. What we didn’t know is that he’s a wise source of advice and counsel.
Q: The entire world is pulling for Barbaro as he tries to recover from his life-threatening injuries. What advice do you have for your fellow Kentucky Derby champ?
JONES: All of us in the paddock are praying for Barbaro. He got a really tough break, or about 25 of them. He needs to work hard on his rehab, because it’s all going to pay off for him and his owners in the breeding shed. That laminitis is a bad disease. It’s hard to believe that putting too much weight on a leg can do that much damage. It’s even more hard to believe that the Vikings’ Pat Williams doesn’t suffer from the same problem.
Q:
You’ve had a few health scares yourself, Smarty. What’s the closest you’ve ever come to a catastrophic injury?
JONES: Well, if you remember, I cracked open my skull on a starting gate as a 2-year-old. I also had those problems with foot bruises a couple of years ago. But I’d have to say the most danger I ever faced was before the 2004 Belmont, when I kept tripping over my press clippings.
Q:
I’m a good-looking guy at small Midwestern college, and I normally don’t read advice columns written by horses. But I’m having a hard time meeting just the right woman. How do you find the right partner?
JONES: I always look for someone who is really into me, which happens all the time since they only introduce me to mares in heat. I find that, when they’re in this condition, I don’t have to spend a lot of time making witty banter and small talk. I’m pretty easy, though. If they’re willing to put up that $100,000 stud fee, then I’m willing to put forth a professional effort.
Q:
The American horse racing industry appears to be struggling against the competition presented by online gambling and casino expansion. What can be done to save the sport of kings?
JONES: Our sport is a thing of beauty, and millions around the world still follow it closely. We need to promote ourselves better. Champion horses are some of the greatest athletes in the world. Check out Smarty’s bod. Feel its power! Have you ever seen musculature like that at the World Series of Poker?
Q:
It seems everyone has an opinion about Barry Bonds. As a celebrity athlete yourself, what are your thoughts about the baseball slugger?
JONES: It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see he’s on the juice. Yeah, he probably took more horse steroids than I ever did. Smarty didn’t need no stinkin’ juice. Just give me a big ol’ pile of hay. Throw in some carrots and apples, and I’m one happy camper.
Q:
Your first foal sold last week for more than a half million, and you’ve already sired more than 75 offspring. I bet you’re pretty busy on Father’s Day, huh?
JONES: No busier than, say, Shawn Kemp or Steve Garvey!
Q:
Fighting is raging again in southern Lebanon between Israel and Hezbollah, and the Middle East tensions are wreaking havoc on the price of light sweet crude oil? What do you think the United Nations should do to resolve the crisis?
JONES: What they need to do is get Syria to get Hezbollah to stop doing this s—- and it’s over.
Q:
Smarty, you look VERY familiar to me. Have we ever met? I think we may have gone to the same college.
JONES: I hear that all the time. No, I never went to college. My guess is you probably went to Stanford with that John Elway fellow.
Q:
As a busy horse, do you personally answer all your letters?
JONES: I answer all the letters that I can, though it’s very hard to keep up because I lack opposable thumbs.
The Loop can be reached at loop@pioneerpress.com.
link: http://www.twincities.com/mld/twincities/sports/15069359.htm
I’ve lit two so far (not at the same time). I read that once you light a candle it’s stay’s lit for 48 hours; so I light one every other day, so it’s as if I have one candle continously lit.
