It’s really none of your business.
28 Likes
Then don’t post about your problems on the internet for everyone to read and comment on.
12 Likes
A little bit unrelated, but I have to ask: are cheques still a thing in the US?
1 Like
Offer to pay electronically on the 1st, or offer to deposit into her bank acct on the 1st if she will leave you a deposit slip.
14 Likes
I like this the best!
@Curly_Feather yes checks are a thing for a lot of people. My 63 yo father does auto pay and electronic pay for everything but I am still very much a check writer.
6 Likes
You know, sometimes, when you have a long term positive relationship with someone, and they ask you to do a small thing like pay them three days early one time, it’s possible to just do it and be nice about it.
Pull the money from your savings and move it back three days later when you get paid.
29 Likes
I don’t think any of this is unreasonable - assuming that the BO gets a pile of checks on the last day of the month and will be on vacation. So I agree it’s too early for the outrage.
I would offer to pay electronically - and if the BO is not set up for electronic payments yet I would gently suggest that she become so, because many people are actually more likely to pay on time if they can do it electronically. E.g. me, for example - I pay almost everything electronically so writing a check is unusual. I try to bring my checkbook with me when I know I have to pay someone with a check, but I have forgotten it before because I don’t carry it around with me.
I would definitely NOT ignore. That’s just deliberately being an a$$hole.
If you can afford to pay it early, I would just do it. But I would push the electronic issue for the future.
And agree that if you overdraft your account on your board check, you should manage your bank accounts differently. (And not post this info on the internet if you’ll be annoyed that someone suggests this.)
7 Likes
If this is the rare favor requested by your BO, then I’d try to comply. Everyone has occasional issues, so if the care is good and you generally have a positive relationship, then its worth complying with the request. You could mention to her that the lack of warning and the tone of the text came off the wrong way.
But if this is yet another “favor” in a long line of issues, then you may comply and start looking for a new place to board. I once boarded at a farm (where I was paying full board on two horses) and was constantly being asked to “help”. And I did for years, because I’m a nice person. But when the BO decided she needed a vacation, she demanded that all the boarders “pitch in” to cover the farm duties for two weeks.
I happened to have a more-than-full time job, and those two weeks coincided with a particularly busy stretch for me at work. She got REALLY bent when I couldn’t “help”. No reduction in board was offered for anyone who did “help”, and I left not long after that.
So, if this is a rare occurrence, then do it. If its a pattern, beware and don’t be a doormat.Schedule
5 Likes
It sounds like you are not on terms friendly enough for her to ask you this favor. Sure, it’s “unprofessional,” but you would be surprised how often people with long-standing business relationships ask each other for similar favors. You are well within your rights to say now, but you don’t have to make this a character assault along the way.
It’s hard to complain about BOs not being professional and asking for payment reliably like, say, the utility companies do. But that small-time business really is not the same. I respect the fact that small-business owners are at risk fo their cash flow getting screwed up, so I try not to harm that and I’ll help them if I can.
And remember, too, that your BO just wants to get out of town for a minute (and their might not be anyone else to do the banking). But the next time your horse gets sick or hurt, are you going to want her to stand on ceremony and not help you or lend you bandaging materials because you guys didn’t contractually agree to that?
And when you came to her on bended knee asking to borrow a roll of sterile cotton or Elastikon, do you want her to report what a careless owner you are for not having all those supplies yourself?
Bottom line: I give what I want to get. I cut slack if I can and I help if I can. I say no sympathetically if I cannot. I try to suggest an alternative, compromise-type solution if I can think of one that I can do. This strategy has worked in my world of business relationships for a long, long time.
20 Likes
I would not be offended by this request, though I do think it is poorly worded. Obviously she cannot “require” that you pay early as this seems to suggest. Still, I understand the motivation and would try to help out if at all possible.
You have some good suggestions from others on how you both might get your needs met. As a once in a while thing, this wouldnt bother me - unless she got angry if you couldnt find a way to pay early.
I have helped my BO out by paying early (way early) when she had cash flow issues after buying some really nice hay for the winter. But I havent been in your situation since she didnt ask - I volunteered, so a different dynamic.
I am a bit concerned over your comfort at this barn if this request creates such worry.
1 Like
Maybe she really needs the cash early so she can make sure barn staff and all normal bills are paid before and while she’s gone? It sounds like paying early is really for the benefit of your horse. I’d go on and pay. If she doesn’t routinely ask for board early, what’s the harm? 'Tis the season…
8 Likes
Interesting thread where both sides make good points.
I agree with the advice that the answer totally depends. If this is a good barn with good care and the barn owner is typically very accommodating and not one that is always making things more difficult than they should be then I would take the tone of this request as more of a favor to make her vacation less stressful and I would probably accommodate it.
On the topic of checking versus savings and the whole over draft thing… some people keep all of their money in a higher interest savings account with just the amount they need for their bills in their checking account. The OP might be one of those people, so the over draft from the early deposit was not because the OP did not have the money, they just did not have he money in that account at that time.
10 Likes
As a BO, I wouldn’t have asked like that but don’t think you should be offended by the request. Politely explain that you can’t make that happen this month and wish her a good trip.
2 Likes
This. Absolutely.
Also…BO’s and BM’s go on holidays? I’m doing this wrong.
3 Likes
Because: “…<snp>…not every request from another person is some big freaking power struggle of my rights vs their rights.”
Seriously. It’s FOUR days. And it’s happened once.
OP, Do you like the care at this barn? Is your horse happy? Is he safe? Does everything else happen on schedule 95% of the time?
Frankly, if I as a BO, if I asked this of my clientele once, and got any hint of the type of snark that’s alluded to in the first post, I’d be firing customers when I got back. Let’s hope BO isn’t on CoTH.
Just because she’s asking for payment before departing on vacation does NOT mean clients can pile on and accuse her of poor money management. And frankly, if you truly felt this was the case, you should be leaving well before this issue came up because you’d see evidence of it in late feed/ shavings/ hay deliveries, lack of vendor service, etc. The comment about BO’s finances is absolutely NONE of the clients’ business unless witnessing evidence as just mentioned.
I’m sure she’s gone out of her way for you countless times. Several you’re likely not even aware of. Bring horses in because of an unexpected weather front? Stay late until the vet or you get there because hoss is injured or threw a shoe? Get up early to toss grain well before your trailer ride out, so horse has a full hour to digest before getting on the trailer? Pick up countless piles of poop left in a newly swept aisle or freshly cleaned wash stall? Cancel plans with a friend for the umpteenth time because a horse needed extra attention/ client had an emergency, etc.? Soak your po po’s hay because you think this load looks a little too course for him to chew (or any other slightly wing nut request).
And to those of you whose reply to this is “That’s what she signed up for. It’s part of the horse service industry”. YOU people, my dear friends, would be the very first to be fired.
ugh…
23 Likes
I would pull the amount out of savings and pay early as BO requested. It’s only 4 days, once you are paid you can transfer the amount from your checking account to your savings.
Four days early isn’t worth getting too upset over, two weeks or more would be different or if BO started asking constantly for early payments then that would be different.
8 Likes
The OP mentioned it so it is my business and everyone else on this bb because it pertains to why she can’t pay early. I don’t think she should feel obligated to pay early at all, but I am concerned that a few days early could have consequences that it’s a big deal.
I’m one of those people with just enough money in my checking account to pay bills. I “pay” myself by transferring any funds that are not needed for bills into an investment account. It helps me keep my spending under control because if I spend too much, I won’t be able to pay my bills.
I think the timing of the BO’s request is what would irk me. The OP was not given much time to pull together funds, and has to move money around to make the early payment. I’m an independent contractor, and at the beginning of this month I was sent an email by my client specifying the dates bills needed to be received to be processed and paid this month due to the holidays. And the same thing will happen in December. You know, the holidays come around every year.
10 Likes
If I could financially pay it, I would. It doesn’t take anything to transfer money from a savings to a checking, and write a check. Just replace the funds when you get paid.
If you are happy with your horse’s care, I would just pay the 4 days early. I don’t see the big deal, other than that she should have given you a little more advance warning of the request. However, I am sure she has been having to put all of her ducks in a row for her to even get out of town ON a vacation, so perhaps it slipped her mind until the last minute. I am sure she has done favors for everyone in the barn at one time or another. Walk a sick horse, bring horses in when bad weather is coming through, etc. Good luck OP.
2 Likes
Say it louder for the people in the back…
17 Likes
