Ben, Jan and Amy Ebeling Named in Sexual Assault Civil Suit

[DownYonder]

I’m not sure I understand the purpose in creating this topic, if people are not supposed to discuss it. Are we to automatically assume the allegations in the civil suit are true? Are we to immediately vilify the Ebelings, without any evidence other than Jane Doe’s word? OTOH, are we to automatically assume Jane Doe is lying?

I do find it troubling that there have been no criminal charges nor a sanction by USEF or SS, but perhaps that just means they are still investigating. I am not going to make an assumption one way or the other until this gets sorted out through the legal process.

I hope and pray everyone involved in this sordid mess gets “just” justice and finds the strength to move on with their lives once this is settled.

[MHM]

@ASB_Stars

Parents need to be aware that this wonderful experience that they are giving their child COULD have some issues attached, in this day and age.

I’m pretty sure this kind of (alleged) situation is not a new development “in this day and age.” Far from it, I’m sorry to say.

[ASB_Stars]

There’s no question that it’s going on forever. But now, with the immediacy of information and the nature of society it comes out and can have long-term consequences

[BigMama1]

@DownYonder

I do find it troubling that there have been no criminal charges nor a sanction by USEF or SS, but perhaps that just means they are still investigating. I am not going to make an assumption one way or the other until this gets sorted out through the legal process.

I think it would be very difficult to find enough evidence to successfully mount a criminal case, unfortunately, and that’s likely why charges were never filed.

It wouldn’t surprise me if SafeSport continues to investigate, particularly if other victims or corroborating witnesses come forward now that it’s public.

[FitzE]

Just a reminder: neither the parents’ reaction nor the timing of the court filing have anything whatsoever to do with the veracity of the accusation.

If you commit a criminal act, no reaction changes what you did. Speculating on why or when someone, or even third parties related to them, reacted only serves to make it look like the people who do so think that any reaction or lack there of changes the commission of the act.

It does not.

While I cannot say whether BE committed this act, I do not believe lawyers fabricate what they put in court filings (and I’ve recently seen that they do, in fact, tell the truth in those filings despite protests to the contrary). I also take note that several women commented publicly online under their real names that they are not surprised by the allegation and are only surprised it’s taken this long for it to come out of the shadows (as with so many other cases like this, GM for example). I believe what @carrie_Kehring tells us about the process and the statistics and that it is rare for someone to essentially ‘ruin’ their own life by coming forward like this based on false allegations (thank goodness for the bravery of women like her daughter who eventually do come forward in the hopes of protecting others and a pox on those who attack them).

Thus, while I, like everyone else, cannot say what did or did not happen, I would never speculate on when or why or how the victim and her parents reacted since (i) we do not now, and may never, know (and why should we?) when they came forward and all the parties to whom they reported, and (ii) even if we did know, it has no bearing whatsoever on the criminal act that is the origin of this case. Suggesting otherwise is utterly inappropriate.

[enjoytheride]

The rape of a teenager? And not how it must not have happened because her parents didn’t notice she was missing clothing? Parents miss all sorts of things for all sorts of reasons, this psychoanalyzing what the parents did and suggesting the events never happened because of that is appalling.

I was horrifically bullied in middle school and my parents never knew. I’d run home every day because I was being chased and cry in my room for an hour before they got home and they never knew. I’d hide the evidence of my being bullied or lie about things. Does that mean I never got bullied?

[Knights_Mom]

@enjoytheride

The rape of a teenager? And not how it must not have happened because her parents didn’t notice she was missing clothing? Parents miss all sorts of things for all sorts of reasons, this psychoanalyzing what the parents did and suggesting the events never happened because of that is appalling.

I was horrifically bullied in middle school and my parents never knew. I’d run home every day because I was being chased and cry in my room for an hour before they got home and they never knew. I’d hide the evidence of my being bullied or lie about things. Does that mean I never got bullied?

To what comment of mine are you responding?

[punchy]

@DownYonder

I’m not sure I understand the purpose in creating this topic, if people are not supposed to discuss it. Are we to automatically assume the allegations in the civil suit are true? Are we to immediately vilify the Ebelings, without any evidence other than Jane Doe’s word? OTOH, are we to automatically assume Jane Doe is lying?

Sure, we can talk about the allegations in the complaint. And we can talk about the Ebelings’ response. And we can talk about how others have responded. But some people are talking about what they imagine may have/should have happened regarding the allegations, of which they have no factual basis for, and which are described in ways that seem really disturbing and indulgent. In fact, it almost feels like the victim in this case is being assaulted all over again by some posters’ graphic musings.

I wouldn’t mind if this thread gets shut down.

[enjoytheride]

The one I quoted? In which you disagreed with OverandOnward’s statement? I agree with OverandOnward and Punchy. The suggestions that nothing bad took place because otherwise the parents would have noticed something amiss with the clothing. And to make the comment about how there should be blood if it “actually happened” WOW. What the parents did or did not notice or how they responded has no relevance in what actually happened. There is a child caught up in this. A child. It’s not a murder mystery novel.

[OverandOnward]

@BigMama1

Have you visited any of the Barisone threads? Imagining different scenarios and picking out “clues” is what’s kept them going for almost 3 years. Apparently it’s a hobby for some people.

For 3 years and going I have avoided the Barisone threads for that reason.

So far this thread has been primarily informative. If it goes the way of the Barisone threads, for me it goes on “mute”.

If the thread slows down because there is no new information, no new action, for some period of time, that’s fine and appropriate.

Imaginative wild speculation is of zero interest to me. ‘Mystery solving’ what a young woman has said about a traumatic event is abhorrent to me personally. It has zero to do with truth and all to do with posters’ egos. But of course some people enjoy indulging and it isn’t against forum rules.

There has been such a good substantive discussion going on so far that I have optimistic hopes that it continues in this tone. But of course no control over it.

[Arlomine]

I’m sorry, but this is a little laughable.
Did your mommy check to see if you had a bra on every night before you went to bed when you were a teenager?

Mine did not. I was able to hide all kinds of stuff from her. I witnessed my trainer beat the living crap out of a horse in a lesson at a hunter barn… And I never went back to that barn. I also never told her why. Same Barn: I would walk in the front door and go directly to the bathroom, where I would vomit my guts up. Then I would go groom the horse and have my lesson. Every. Single. Time. I was totally conflicted about riding there but I could not have processed those thoughts or verbalize them at all. And I know if I told my mom that I puked every time she would make me stop riding there all together, And I had no authority or agency to suggest a different venue.

It’s frankly very easy to hide things from parents who aren’t looking for them.

I wasn’t even a wild kid, but either you were never a teenager or you grow up in some sort of bubble.

[Fiesta01]

@Arlomine

Did your mommy check to see if you had a bra on every night before you went to bed when you were a teenager?

Confused here. Were we supposed to wear bras to bed?

[Arlomine]

This was a Reply to currently horseless, who seem dumbfounded that a teenage girl could get in the house and avoid Braless detection.

[Fiesta01]

Got it. Thanks. (I have CH on mute, so didn’t see it).

[Knights_Mom]

@enjoytheride

The one I quoted? In which you disagreed with OverandOnward’s statement? I agree with OverandOnward and Punchy. The suggestions that nothing bad took place because otherwise the parents would have noticed something amiss with the clothing. And to make the comment about how there should be blood if it “actually happened” WOW. What the parents did or did not notice or how they responded has no relevance in what actually happened. There is a child caught up in this. A child. It’s not a murder mystery novel.

You seem to forget I have repeatedly stated I do not have a position regarding guilt or whatever. What I offer are considerations others have not mentioned that may or may not be relevant. There is nothing to take offense to in my statement as I have not taken a stand.

[skydy]

You should not have “offered this” “hesitantly”. You should not have “offered” it at all.

Do people really have to tell you that your post is not OK under the circumstances? What the hell is wrong with people…

I agree with having the thread closed if this is the sort of post that will be appearing here.

[Knights_Mom]

@skydy

You should not have “offered this” “hesitantly”. You should not have “offered” it at all.

Do people really have to tell you that your post is not OK under the circumstances? What the hell is wrong with people…

I agree with having the thread closed if this is the sort of post that will be appearing here.

Put me on ignore. That’s the easiest solution.

[skydy]

I am not the person who will be hurt by your ill considered words. It is not my feelings that are at stake. Think about it, please…

[Knights_Mom]

@skydy

I am not the person who will be hurt by your ill considered words. It is not my feelings that are at stake. Think about it, please…

I am posting in the most sensitive way I can. Go scold someone else.

[enjoytheride]

It doesn’t matter that you are not “taking a stand” Your post was not ok, it wasn’t sensitive, you shouldn’t have hesitantly offered anything of that sort… There is a child involved, this is just not your amusement in posting. I have agreed with plenty of other things you have said before, but things like this are not cool.