Wow this thread has been eye opening… I would never expect my BO to tell me I can’t have someone ride my horse if they’ve signed a release. I would never let someone ride without signing a release first, and without me being there to sanction the whole thing, but as someone who’s ridden TONS of other people’s horses at tons of other farms and it’s never been an issue, I’m surprised by the responses here!
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But the OP hasn’t confirmed that a release was signed. That’s such a significant omission to this story I’m assuming that one wasn’t signed.
And for the record, my policy as a BO/BM was I needed to be informed AND a release needed to be signed. I had multiple instances of other people riding boarder’s horses and most of the time it was just fine.
I think the OP was in the “Better to ask forgiveness later than permission first.” camp. This is one of those instances where that’s a bad idea.
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I am surprised that you’ve never had an issue, but it might be because you are (I assume) a competent rider. Do you think the BO would/should be ok if you allowed someone that had never sat on a horse to get on without as much as a single lesson? What if you didn’t have a beginner horse? What if you set up jumps for this new rider?
At what point would it cross the line?
I can understand a barn just saying - no one. Except a) a boarder; b) a lesson student under their supervision; or c) a trainer.
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The BO is in the wrong if that isn’t stated somewhere in the boarding contract. Also wonder why the BO waits for the boarder to be off property before saying anything? If it was not allowed why not say something right at that time and get it all cleared up?
This texting is ridiculous.
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Yeah I sorta addressed it in my questions too, was the BO present and took the non-confrontational way out by texting, or did the BO get told by someone else, and then still chose to text instead of call or wait for an in-person conversation.
But I suspect the OP has poofed so we will never know 
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Pre-Covid I often had a friend come watch me ride, or a family member come to keep me company. But not without giving the barn owner a heads up first. It’s her property and she has every right to know who is on it.
Since Covid began we have had a very strict no visitors policy. Obviously clinicians, vets, saddle fitters, etc when allowed under the restrictions, and those kind of appointments get put on the calendar. But if my daughter wants to come for the drive, she brings a book and stays in the car.
Anybody who thinks it’s silly doesn’t have to board there. Her barn, her rules.
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A possible explanation for the BO’s text is she didn’t want to put the the riding friend on the spot. The BO’s issue was with her boarder, so she addressed with the boarder in a private manner.
No need to embarass the poor friend.
It may also be that the BO wanted a record of the conversation taking place, hence text rather than face to face.
Yes, I still think the BO should have communicated this policy to the new boarder. but other than that, my sympathy lies entirely with the BO>
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Since only insured trainers (and owners) of a horse are allowed to ride, I would assume a waiver wasn’t signed before this particular friend’s ride, because presumably one wasn’t available (unless the friend picked one up at the barn office or something like that, but since riding policy is fairly restrictive, I’m going to guess there isn’t a random pile lying about)? It sounds like that the OP wasn’t there during the ride, but rather the friend came by. Perhaps the BO found texting less confrontational or time-consuming than a face-to-face discussion?
If the BO doesn’t want people leasing horses, I agree that can be a significant financial factor in choosing not to board at a particular barn, and that should have been said explicitly. But I also agree with everyone who has said that letting random people ride your horse is different than a regular half-leaser who comes on specific days to ride. And there are reasons the BO might not want to allow leasing, such as wanting to minimize foot traffic.
The BO may have thought it was self-evident that anyone who comes on her property has to have her approval as a rider. If your friend riding your horse is a regular thing, initiate a conversation. But also apologize for not asking first.
I’m going to sound like a big grumpy puss, but speaking even as a half-leaser, I was never crazy sharing the arena with random people who were riding their friend’s horses and didn’t know the ways of the barn. I realize the OP’s situation wasn’t “I thought it would be cute to see my friend who hasn’t ridden in 10 years ride my horse,” but that type of stuff might be what the BO expressly wants to avoid.
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100% agreed! I’ve been the recipient of many “this should have been a conversation, not a text” messages from horse people, but I can completely understand not wanting to confront a random person face-to-face. For all the BO knew, the person might get very angry. Or the BO may have felt uncomfortable. I hate to say it, but I know some BOs who would be terrifying if they saw someone they percieved as a tresspasser at a barn, and I think that the friend got off rather easily.
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I have a small barn at home and allow a boarder or two. My insurance company is aware and has flat said only the owner rides due to liability. If you want to have a bunch of people out and share your horse, my farm isn’t the place for you. But I am very up front about this before you bring your horse to my house. So it might very well be a rule due to her insurance
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It is interesting to read the different perspectives.
I understand that some of you think that restriction on who can ride the horse should be in the contract, but the other way to look at it, is that the contract is between the horse owner and the barn, and the parties listed are the only parties who have privileges at the property.
It is somewhat like having a membership to a gym or club. the membership is between the business and the person listed, you don’t assume you can just bring who ever you want with you to use the facilities unless the contract expressly permits visitors.
(my clients always warn me if there is going to be a stranger on my property, and always ask about someone coming out to ride their horse, people don’t assume that inviting a stranger onto my property is part of their contract)
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That is very different from a general, “no one but boarders or insured pros on the property” policy.
My response was not related to Covid policies, which are of course more restrictive.
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This is a very good point. I never would have thought of this example
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I guess it might be because I’ve always been around barns where the BO is not really there 24/7 or is there during the day and leaves in the evening, and doesn’t micro manage what boarders get up to.
I think it just depends on the type of barn, and yes obviously depends on the competence and overall responsibility of the boarder/ rider.
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Nope, she was not around this weekend
You might have to schedule a time to have a face to face with her.
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And for those who are wondering, there are waivers easily printed right from the barn’s website. At the prior barns I’ve ridden, my friend and I either printed one or picked one up from the barn’s office and dropped it off in the check box for board/lesson payments, so I just kind of assumed that’s “the way of things.”
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I would not consider anything that opens the BO up to serious liability to be “micro managing.”
Micro managing boarders would be telling them which kinds of blankets are acceptable so that they fit the color scheme of the barn.
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I agree that if there’s a downloadable waiver on the website, there should be a specification this is only for boarders. But I personally wouldn’t have just had someone come over and ride my horse on-property without a casual text or heads-up to the BO for the first time, especially if the person was going over alone. It sounds like there was miscommunication on all fronts, and hopefully a friendly conversation will straighten it out, since it sounds like this has been the only major issue that’s cropped up about the barn.
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