Wow. This is kind of a shocker actually. I wouldn’t dare take another person’s horse out of the stall, and if someone handles my horses without my express permission I will go Full Metal Jacket on that individual. Maybe I’m the weirdo? This seems like a very big deal. Personally I need to have confidence that if I’m not there, nobody except qualified staff is handling my horses.
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I am with you 100 percent. I always hated mane pulling and it’s become my one animal rights issue – my animals have told me nope nope nope, and i respect their opinion. And I didn’t shave ears/whiskers even showing hunters in the 1990s, much to my trainer’s chagrin. 
I’d pull my horse out of this situation in a heartbeat.
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I had a horse way back when who, while I attempted to pull his mane, very deliberately stood on my foot and shoved his shoulder into my chest, pushing me down flat on my bum.
That was my big clue.
I don’t pull anymore.
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The majority of horses I’ve known did not object to having their manes pulled. My last two, including my current horse, have wanted nothing to do with hairs being pulled from their manes. I got very good with scissors. You would never know that the manes were cut and not pulled. Except, of course, for that 7-inch section at the crest with the thick, exploding pony mane. 
We live with it and just braid it over for a week before going out in public. 
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Aside from all the other, very valid comments about this situation, it bothers me from a liability/safety standpoint. One of my horses, pretty much anyone could handle - she is a saint on the ground and has impeccable manners no matter who is handling her. The other is younger and getting there - he is very polite with me, but may be less so with other, less experienced handlers. But both could have “a moment” for whatever reason. I would be both horrified and worried that someone else (other than a professional or employee of the BO, both of which should have insurance) handling my horse would get hurt and, in this litigious day and age, I’d end up with their health insurance or parents or whatever suing me. I have no urge to unnecessarily test my liability insurance!
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Is there someone else at this barn that you would trust as an outside observer that might be there at times you aren’t? I ask because I would be very suspect that this individual has done more with your horse without your permission, like riding it etc… I know you had allowed her to use your horse previously for a few rides but I’m thinking if she is comfortable taking your horse to pull it’s mane, she is likely doing much more. It may be to late to stop this situation, if the person got her feelings hurt because of the incident then she may have taken a liking to your horse. Does she like her own horse, groom it, pull it’s mane, ride it? If you answer yes to any of this then it is time for you to relocate as I don’t think there would be safe and complete way to stop it.
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I would be furious and I don’t get why other people feel entitled to behave that way. I ran into a few issues over the years: 1) boarders and workers feeding treats to my horse that he wasn’t supposed to get (Cushings) even after I put up a sign not to feed; 2) my horse had a minor abrasion that I was treating, and another boarder decided to go into his paddock and pick off / cut off with scissors the nicely formed scab that was completely covering the wound; 3) other boarders / workers taking my lead rope because it was handy and then me having to hunt all over God’s green earth for where it is; 4) couldn’t find my thinline pad that was always with my saddle on the saddle rack in the tack room. A saddle fitter had been out for another boarder’s horse and just grabbed it to help with the saddle fitting. Unprofessional in the extreme - with what she charges for her services, she can afford to buy her own thinline pad or keep an inventory to sell to clients.
I had some friends who only rode on weekends. They went out to ride their pinto and could clearly see old sweat marks from a breastplate and they never used a breastplate…
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So I bought a horse last fall. He was up north, on videos and PPE he had a lovely mane. Between time of payment and time of shipping, seller asked someone to tidy up his mane. Note that 1. the withers clipped like bridle path. 2. the couple inches above that just hacked off. 3. various other places up the crest sticking straight up, or tipped over, 2-3" long.
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How did the seller react to your disappointment?
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That is very bad. Once they had your money, he was your horse, not the seller’s. They had no business doing anything but keeping him alive and healthy. People are so disappointing.
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Not to excuse what happened to your horse; however, I do clip the mane on one of my horses at the wither as he doesn’t like his mane pulled to the point of freaking out if you try to get mane out that has gotten under the saddle pad out; so I just clip it.
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Dye her dog blue? 
Inexcusable. BO might want to re think her/his response.
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at #2. I will hand it to the owners of the hunter barn where we board for #3. The few times the halter/lead rope has gone missing, they immediately start searching. I think it was a newer family with young kids who kept grabbing it to use & not replacing it & the BOs must’ve talked to them. Because no missing halter in a long time.
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To the various questions: Seller was apologetic, and gave me heads up prior to his arrival. I was shocked, but decided not worth getting to angry - it would grow back. (though I hadn’t actually seen it!!) Re the withers, yes I get that there might be good reason to do that but not in this particular case. What is interesting is that his mane originally fell to the left and the spikey parts of the crest were underside of mane. As they began to grow back the mane has flipped to the right side of neck. by the time he did his first trip down centerline it was more or less braidable, lol. But yes, people are disappointing, and the seller should have left well enough alone.
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In my case, it was adults - boarders and barn workers - which made it even more frustrating because they should know better. I don’t get it. You lead a horse to the paddock. You turn him out. You leave the rope right by the paddock gate. There’s no reason the lead should ever be 1) detached from the halter if you leave the halter off in the stall or turnout; or 2) anywhere other than near the gate or stall door if the halter is left on.
And yeah, my head exploded over the wound thing.
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Sounds like miscommunication??? You mentioned this was supposed to be a makeover, however I’m curious if there was discussion on makeover specifics.
I think you misunderstand. The “makeover” was a complete surprise to the OP, and done without her knowledge or consent.
Sounds like someone watches too much reality TV, lol.
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I knew of a young woman who did this to another boarder’s horse. Caused much drama. I can’t imagine the BO siding with the offender though.
I did write it into my boarding contracts. Because I’ve seen people casually go up and down the aisle, feeding other people’s horses (even ones who have “please no treats” on their stalls), “borrowing” horses and tack…none of it is ok without explicit permission.
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