This. All of my moves due to military life, it was always find the right barn first. I could live anywhere as long as my horses were safe and happy.
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These are what I call riders, not horsemen/
horsewomen. Is it me, or do there seem to be more âridersâ nowadays?
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I wouldnât go that far. I certainly understand fear and wanting to be able to control everything. I mean, I was afraid to ride my mare after I bought her, because she was hot and prone to doing silly stuff⊠But eventually decided that I liked her enough to just carry on. And there are still things I wanted to do with her but did not, because I was/am afraid.
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This is nothing short of insulting.
A person can not âjust get overâ being nervous. And to say that they will turn around and ruin a good horse because they have not âgotten over itâ is just ridiculous.
I am all for people realizing that there is never going to be a situation where there is never something scary to the horse (heck, my horse finds birds chirping in trees to be scary sometimes). But that does not mean that a person with a little more nerves should just give up and never ever ride because they will just ruin whatever they ride.
I would find a kid on a skateboard in the aisle to be annoying. Not because they are spooky but because that just does not seem like a smart place to skateboard.
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I had my horse at a barn like that (not dressage though). I loved it. Had the outdoor to myself, as well as a huge field. Could walk all around the property whenever I wanted. Like a private farm.
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Sure, maybe they canât. But sometimes you need to grit your teeth and put the icewater in your veins. If anything and everything besides nature noises freaks you or your horse out, one of the two of you needs to chill out and lead the way back to calmness.
And yes, extremely nervous riders ruin horses. Theyâre clenchy/grabby/deathgrippy and canât manage to take a leadership role when a horse is unsure, leading to the horse being confirmed in the unsureness. Iâve witnessed my BOMBPROOF horse lose his mind over a haybale on the ground after being handled by a nervous person too much. As soon as I took the rope from her, he immediately was fine with the object. A hay bale. The same horse that let me walk up with no introduction and do this:
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I still think you are being overly judgmental, but as we both know that is your typical.
You are allowed to be you, that does not mean everyone else has to be you too.
Most really nervous riders know they are really nervous riders, they are not trying to train a baby themselves or any of that fancy stuff, they just want to enjoy a little riding time. Let them enjoy it their way and you do it your way. Let them find a barn that allows them to do it their way.
I am a nervous rider but that does not mean I have not done something similar to your photos.
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I guess I do have an issue with people complaining about boarding barns, when weâve had thread after thread about how ungrateful (as a general whole) boarders are.
Barns are allowed to make their own rules. Donât like it? LEAVE. Complaining about the dogs and the kids and the [insert whatever here] - itâs not your property. You have zero grounds to complain. OP strikes me as someone who would complain that the a new tractor got purchased, and her horse doesnât like it.
If youâre nervous about any and everything that goes on on a farm, you do not belong in horses. Maybe you call that judgmental - I think sometimes the truth is hard to hear.
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See, I agree with the first half.
A person needs to pick a barn that fits what they need/want. Not just pick a barn and then expect the people there to bend to their needs. And that applies to people on all sides of this coin, actually. For example, @endlessclimb if you moved into a barn full of timid older riders who are used to the indoor being a quiet place while they ride, it would be inappropriate for you to drag out your inflatable costume and insist they deal with it.
Your truth is hard to hear is overboard and ridiculous. A person does not have to be willing to train anything and everything to be allowed to ride a horse.
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Sure, I agree. But that is not at all what the gist and premise of this thread is. OP is complaining in a way that implies the BOs are negligent/careless in how they run their barns, because of their barn rules - when in reality, OP just wants a silent and sterile barn environment (not going to happen at 99% of no-trainer places) and canât seem to get along with a trainer program either.
Theyâre also not allowed to complain disparagingly about someone elseâs property they chose to be on.
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100% this. If someone wants to only ride in the indoor, itâs nobody elseâs business. If some only wants to ride walk/trot, itâs nobody elseâs business. I know plenty of nervous / anxious riders who handle horses just fine on the ground. And plenty who suck up the fear and get on their horses every day because their love of riding is stronger than the fear. That takes guts. Judging them for it is gutless.
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How do you go from someone complaining about an annoying, unsafe and inappropriate situation like a kid skateboarding in the aisle to assuming that they are ânervous about any and everything that goes on on a farm?â Thatâs quite a leap, even for you.
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And another.
And another.
Another.
Some kvetching about how the property owner runs the place.
Sounds like a real pleasant boarder to have around, eh?
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If my boarding barn had a rule about something and it was not enforced I think I have a right to be annoyed that it is not enforced.
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This, 100%. Iâm going to put myself out there and say I donât like the sound of skateboarding. Iâm the mean old lady who has chased away countless skateboarding kids from using my private driveway as a ramp in the morning or when they know Iâm away.
The way people (and horses) get over fear is usually not being overstimulated but being introduced slowly to scary things so they seem less scary. Iâm more concerned about inadequate turnout than where a rider rides.
But again, it doesnât matter whatâs fair or unfair, or right or wrong. Even if itâs something as close to âobjectivelyâ wrong as you can get, like barn owners who let unsocialized dogs run loose and corner boarders in their cars or horseâs stalls (versus sweet barn dogs who know to stay out of the way, whom I love), the barn has its culture and itâs not going to change for you, and the barn owner usually has a âreasonâ for doing something a certain way, even if you personally donât like the reason.
Pony kids running around screaming and riding horses bareback during adult lessons, without caring about staying out of the way? If the barn is 99% pony kids and thatâs the BOâs bread and butter, they arenât going to enforce rules for the one or two adult dressage riders who happen to find the barn affordable and convenient but donât like the culture.
I also said this before, but I think the OPâs âproblemâ is wanting to bring in an outside trainer at a barn where there area already trainers offering lessons. That just doesnât make a client attractive to a trainer versus a boarder who does want to take lessons.
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Honestly, this group finds a way to fight with each other no matter what the topic.
The bottom line is this â boarding barns have a right to make a profit. Thatâs why they prefer lessoning with the in-house trainer, and/or other add-ons (like certain # of lessons/month). Otherwise, they canât make a living and offer boarding.
And most boarders have to make some compromises. Loose dogs might be a bigger issue for me than kids; and not reasonable to expect a barn to have neither kids nor dogs. Certainly as kids and lessons tend to be the money making end of many barns.
Go ahead and look for a needle in a haystack - chances are if itâs a barn with no kids, no dogs, with good quality care and the opportunity to bring in your own trainer - youâre going to pay a premium for boarding. Because thatâs how they cover their costs. But, if you canât find that, make a list in order of importance and try to find the one that checks the most boxes.
A blowing plastic bag? Just a normal day in most barns. Inflatable dinosaur costume? Thatâs a bit extreme.
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Honestly, as long as the dogs arenât chasing the horses, theyâre much easier to deal with than cats as far as spooky behavior goes - cats get into any and everything, and come jumping out of the rafters and running out from under the trailers etc. Yet you never hear âI want a barn with no catsâ.
I always find it unreasonable when people complain about a boarding barn, honestly. If you donât like it - LEAVE. You are on someone elseâs property. You donât get to complain about it when youâre free to go.
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Iâm late to the party on this but want to chime in on the insurance company suing the barn. I got into a pretty serious accident that required surgery and a hospital stay a few miles away from my barn while on a trail ride. I walked my horse back and the ambulance picked me up at the farm. The insurance company called me and asked if it happened on the barns property, I said no and that was that. They didnât just arbitrarily go after the farm because the ambulance picked me up there. That doesnât sound right.
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Oh yeah, at two of the barns I was at, there were problem cats. Theyâd run through the indoors, jump on the horses, and lie down right in front of you as you were doing an extended canter. But dogs chasing ME is a problem, not just the horse! And when itâs not your personal dog (and the dog knows it) itâs hard to discipline. I love dogs and Iâm not against dogs at a barn, itâs just some people are bad at evaluating whether a dog is barn-appropriate.
I donât think itâs unreasonable to bitch and complain on COTH or to your (non-barn) friends 
(you should never badmouth a barn to fellow boarders, I agree, on the personâs property) but, yes, from a practical standpoint, itâs not going to change. Every person has to pick their order of importance. Like, it might be worth it to the OP to take lessons with a trainer on-site for a quieter barn, versus board at a backyard barn where every boarder is teaching their Jack Russell to ride their kidâs pony. But if those are the choices, those are the choices.
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