Buying a trailer - SO wants to go BIG

[SonnysMom]

@buck22

I know its a year old post but hopefully she…

SUCKED IT UP AND WAS A GRACIOUS RECIPIENT!!!

: )

Why? Oh wait women are supposed to suck it up and be grateful for whatever they get.
Why should she be grateful for something that she isn’t comfortable driving and does not meet her needs most of the time. If she isn’t comfortable using the trailer does it change her decisions about going to certain places or not going at all? If it negatively impacts when, where and if she trailers somewhere or is very stressful for her to drive it then no she does not need to be grateful.

So you ride English but your spouse buys you a trail saddle or a hornless Western saddle that is gorgeous and very high end should you be grateful that you got such a super special saddle even if you hate it?

For the OP what if she is involved in an accident due to the fact she is not comfortable driving such a large rig but does anyway?

A co-worker’s husband died. She had a young teen-aged boy child. Her late 20s children decided she needed a gun to protect herself. Should she be grateful for the gift of a loaded gun that she doesn’t know how to use? Oh wait it may be a detriment to own since a teen-aged boy and his friends that have not been raised around guns might find it attractive to play with. FYI- her solution was to hide it in the drop ceiling of her kitchen so her young son couldn’t find it. But she forgot about it and it was not really available for self-protection. Should she have been a gracious recipient when in fact it caused her stress an may have been detrimental to the safety of her youngest child.

If OP cannot comfortably and safely drive this really big rig should she be a grateful recipient? At some point it is not a gift to her but a gift to the giver with the pretence of being a gift. He is really using the OP to justify buying something he wants but isn’t suited for her needs.

Yes. I know this is an old thread and in some ways the tangent that I moved to may be better suited for Off Topic as it applies to all “gifts” not just horse trailers.

I

[TMares]

@SonnysMom

Why? Oh wait women are supposed to suck it up and be grateful for whatever they get.
Why should she be grateful for something that she isn’t comfortable driving and does not meet her needs most of the time. If she isn’t comfortable using the trailer does it change her decisions about going to certain places or not going at all? If it negatively impacts when, where and if she trailers somewhere or is very stressful for her to drive it then no she does not need to be grateful.

So you ride English but your spouse buys you a trail saddle or a hornless Western saddle that is gorgeous and very high end should you be grateful that you got such a super special saddle even if you hate it?

For the OP what if she is involved in an accident due to the fact she is not comfortable driving such a large rig but does anyway?

A co-worker’s husband died. She had a young teen-aged boy child. Her late 20s children decided she needed a gun to protect herself. Should she be grateful for the gift of a loaded gun that she doesn’t know how to use? Oh wait it may be a detriment to own since a teen-aged boy and his friends that have not been raised around guns might find it attractive to play with. FYI- her solution was to hide it in the drop ceiling of her kitchen so her young son couldn’t find it. But she forgot about it and it was not really available for self-protection. Should she have been a gracious recipient when in fact it caused her stress an may have been detrimental to the safety of her youngest child.

If OP cannot comfortably and safely drive this really big rig should she be a grateful recipient? At some point it is not a gift to her but a gift to the giver with the pretence of being a gift. He is really using the OP to justify buying something he wants but isn’t suited for her needs.

Yes. I know this is an old thread and in some ways the tangent that I moved to may be better suited for Off Topic as it applies to all “gifts” not just horse trailers.

I

I am guessing that was a joke, someone was channeling their inner @Trakehner or @county

[TheBigEasy]

Since my post got resurrected - I thought I’d close the loop.
I insisted on something I thought I’d be comfortable with.
we wound up finding a different client (albeit a smaller volume client) who built a 2 horse bumper pull.
I wound up getting a basic model with a few upgrades (better flooring, camera system to view the horses and the rear end, bigger saddle rack).
I took delivery on it in January (finally) direct from the manufacturer and my father (former semi truck driver) has been giving me driving lessons.
I have yet to haul my horse since the covid shut down pretty much everything - including state horse trails - but I’m now to the point where I feel pretty confident hitching and driving it empty.
It’s also been a huge blessing since the shut down- as our barn has requested everyone work out of a trailer rather than groom/tack in the barn.
state trails just opened up so I’m really looking forward to a trip!

[clanter]

@TheBigEasy

I have yet to haul my horse since the covid shut down pretty much everything - including state horse trails - but I’m now to the point where I feel pretty confident hitching and driving it empty.

Reminds me of my girls, when they were kids in high school they were the only high school students who could 1)back a trailer 2)drive a five speed manual four wheel drive pickup truck

I had them learn to drive our farm truck as their first car. When learning to pull the trailer, I had them keep a mostly full cup of water without a lid in the center cup hold …then drive with out spilling the water (well too much of the water)

Both are very good haulers

[buck22]

@SonnysMom

Why? Oh wait women are supposed to suck it up and be grateful for whatever they get.
Why should she be grateful for something that she isn’t comfortable driving and does not meet her needs most of the time. If she isn’t comfortable using the trailer does it change her decisions about going to certain places or not going at all? If it negatively impacts when, where and if she trailers somewhere or is very stressful for her to drive it then no she does not need to be grateful.

So you ride English but your spouse buys you a trail saddle or a hornless Western saddle that is gorgeous and very high end should you be grateful that you got such a super special saddle even if you hate it?

For the OP what if she is involved in an accident due to the fact she is not comfortable driving such a large rig but does anyway?

A co-worker’s husband died. She had a young teen-aged boy child. Her late 20s children decided she needed a gun to protect herself. Should she be grateful for the gift of a loaded gun that she doesn’t know how to use? Oh wait it may be a detriment to own since a teen-aged boy and his friends that have not been raised around guns might find it attractive to play with. FYI- her solution was to hide it in the drop ceiling of her kitchen so her young son couldn’t find it. But she forgot about it and it was not really available for self-protection. Should she have been a gracious recipient when in fact it caused her stress an may have been detrimental to the safety of her youngest child.

If OP cannot comfortably and safely drive this really big rig should she be a grateful recipient? At some point it is not a gift to her but a gift to the giver with the pretence of being a gift. He is really using the OP to justify buying something he wants but isn’t suited for her needs.

Yes. I know this is an old thread and in some ways the tangent that I moved to may be better suited for Off Topic as it applies to all “gifts” not just horse trailers.

I

Yipes! Didn’t expect this reaction to what was supposed to be a joke.

@TheBigEasy

I either need to suck it up and be a gracious recipient of this setup or find a way to tell him I’m not capable of handling such a large transport arrangement.

So, COTH, take the big rig, suck it up and learn how to drive if? Or find a way to politely decline and stick with a simple BP?

My comment was playing on the OP’s original words. I was hoping the smile at the end would suffice in indicating that it was indeed a joke, but apparently it wasn’t, and I apologize for that. OP, I apologize to you if my comment seemed ill-intended. It was a joke, and obviously a terrible one, and I regret any ill feelings I may have caused. Mea culpa.

@SonnysMom

Why? Oh wait women are supposed to suck it up and be grateful for whatever they get.

SonnysMom, while I am grateful for the opportunity you gave me to apologize to the OP, I take umbrage with your rant.

Insinuating that somehow I feel women are in any way incapable or need to feign gratitude in any regard is fruitbat nuts.

Not only is it unfair for you to foist your twisted view upon me in your harangue, but it’s sad and unfortunate that you have such little regard for the accomplishments of women that you’d even draw that conclusion from a one-line comment. That inequality of the sexes was the first thing that sprang to your mind in response to my post, is frankly troubling.

While comparing hobbies and death, trailers and guns is more like apples and asparagus, I do find your insights on the pretense of gift-giving worth discussion and thought and very appropriate.

Finally, despite the oddness of being gifted a loaded gun without desire for, instruction of, or a gun safe to keep it — your co-worker’s husband’s passing is very sad, and I am extremely sorry for their loss.

Gosh, in the decade+ I’ve been here I’ve never umbraged (?) with anyone :lol: I guess there’s a first time for everything! Hopefully, another decade will pass before I have to again.

OP enjoy your new-found freedom!

[TheBigEasy]

@buck22 no offense taken here!

In retrospect, I probably just should have told the SO from the outset I wanted a simple unit - I don’t struggle to tell him what I think any other time! He just seemed so excited by a big unit…and when it comes to my horse hobby, I want him to be excited enough to want a second horse too so we can trail ride together!