Buying first horse

[centaursam]

I have read and re-read all these replies and can’t thank you all enough. If I can’t reply to all of you individually, I apologize, but you all have helped me tremendously and it’s great to see others have been in similar situations and have shared similar feelings of apprehension, frustration, etc.

@BatCoach My trainer is aware of my frustration/feelings and I’m honestly surprised she’s been this patient with me. As many others have eluded, I’m pretty high strung & high pressure and she has managed to put up with me. Her school horses are amazing and run the gamut from well trained/well mannered all the way to very sensitive and challenging and each provide me with things I need to work on. She knows many people who have horses to sell/lease so I don’t need to look far but she also knows I’m house hunting as well.

@Scribbler This is a great point and one that I haven’t internalized admittedly. My trainer can spot it quickly if I (or the horse) are struggling and stiff at the begging of the lesson, so we’ll work on circles, leg yields, shoulder-ins, half halts, serpentines before proceeding to anything else and by the end of the lesson, me and the horse are relaxed are copacetic. Huge difference between the first half and second half of the lesson. I guess I always internalized that as poor riding and inconsistency on my part when in reality, perhaps we just weren’t warmed up. This is something I need to work on when I ride on my own.

@Ceffyl_Dwr I love the barn, more so when there are no people there. I’m there all Sunday, my only day off, basically doing groom stuff in between riding. When it comes to supplements though, admittedly I’m usually thinking about supplements for me

@soloudinhere That is rough, I hope your horse gets better. I do understand what you’re saying though.

@Gardenhorse I have definitely progressed and should be kinder to myself. It’s just the lack of consistency that really gets to me. I think if I had more of that, I’d be less frustrated but as others have said, such is dressage. I think I came into the sport with certain expectations. I wasn’t ready to have my riding deconstructed and have all these issues emerge when I didn’t think they existed. I knew I had things to rectify but I’m getting my ass kicked by basic walk/trot/canter. As @KayGee eluded to, it’s quite humbling.

[Fiesta01]

@Mercedes2

The few times I’ve ridden other horses since I bought her last year I missed her and realized how much I appreciated her. That’s a great feeling!

Over decades of riding, I learned there is no better way to “appreciate” your horse’s problems until you ride someone else’s horse’s problems. Every time I would get back on my own horses, their problems would pale in comparison and seem downright fixable.

[Nova2000]

@centaursam

such is dressage.

Yep! Every couple of years I feel like I’m learning to ride all over again as I make a tweak in my position, or have a lightbulb moment. And horses are one of those things where the learning is never done. Once you’ve learned 10 things, you think you have 100 more things to learn. Once you’ve learned 100 things you realize you have 1000 more things to learn. Once you learn 1000 things you see there are 1 million more things to learn. The more you know, the more you realize you have so much more yet to learn. It’s exponential learning when it comes to anything horse!

[RedHorses]

@centaursam Think about this: You describe a wide range of school horses that your coach puts you on, and also bemoan your perceived lack of consistency and progress. I suspect you are initially trying to ride all these horses the same way using what you learned from the last one you rode, and what you need to work on now is feeling what that specific horse needs/how it is responding to you today/in this moment right now and adapt your riding to the horse.

This is the skill riding many horses can help you develop much faster than riding one horse.

[strangewings]

The best instructor i ever had would say the horse is a professor and each one has a new lesson to teach you.

I was experienced and sensitive as a rider already by that time, and it was really great to feel in sync with the choices the instructor made about what lesson i needed that day, which i could feel from whichever horse he put me on.

[centaursam]

This a great point, thank you! I’m definitely doing this, especially trying to take what I’ve learned on the horses I do better on and apply it to the horses that I struggle with and that doesn’t really help. You’re definitely correct in that it’s a horse-by-horse, moment-by-moment, day-by-day perspective that I need to adopt rather than just generalizing skills and expecting them to work all the time.

[Jackie_Cochran]

@centaursam,

The generalized skills give you an “outline”. Usually at first the horse does not “fill” the “outline”. Different horses will have different reasons for not filling that outline, training, pain, veterinary issues, farriery issues or that they just do not understand a specific rider’s aids.

When I get up on a new-to-me horse my first few rides consist of exploring the horses knowledge base. I give my attention to the horse’s reactions to my aids. Does the horse “harden his mouth”? Does the horse harden their sides? Does the horse set its neck against my direct rein turning aid? Does the horse totally ignore my aid? Does the horse obey my aid starting with a “jerk”? Does the horse show any evidence of training? Does the horse show any evidence of good training? Does the horse “understand” what praise is?

And most importantly, how can I ride this particular horse so he stays comfortable with my aids?

Then I ride as pure a Forward Seat as I am capable of until the horse “tells” me “OK, I am comfortable, what is next?”

Then I start coaxing the horse into moving freely enough to stay mentally and physically relaxed AND with enough impulse so the horse voluntarily reaches out and takes up contact with the bit (my reins are sagging).

THEN I can start working at the more advanced stuff, cautiously, with giving hands whose fingers are sort of relaxed and very supple, relaxed shoulder joints, with the mantra of “my hands belong to the horse’s mouth” going through my soul.

This is how a rider with a crippled neurological system can get “ruined” horses to cooperate, fill in the often abysmal gaps in the horse’s training, and turn out horses that will give a sort of decent ride to other riders (instead of acting amok like they did before I started riding some of them.)

It takes TIME to understand riding. I have been riding seriously for over 50 years now, I have read a few hundred books on equitation many of which were written by ex-cavalry men and Olympic medal riders. Learning all this stuff is probably like trying to keep track of a color in 50 kaleidoscopes while all are turning.

In around 10-15 years you will look at your present riding career with amazement for your relatively quick progress. You will see how one thing builds on another thing. You will see how your teachers were trying to teach you how to ride; and if that teacher’s method was valid at all for you. You will have ridden a vast number of horses who ALL gave you their opinion about your riding. You will be able to gauge if a riding teacher is suitable to teach you what you want to learn. You will be able to get up on a strange horse and ride it better than their owners, usually.

It will all come to you with time, practice, and education. Some day the horse will “say” something to you and you will understand and be able to deal with it effectively.

I promise you. Keep on riding!

[sportyspicepony]

I will say that as someone who rode my whole life but then recently bought my own horse for the first time, even when i can’t ride my horse because she’s lame or whatever, i STILL prefer owning my own to riding someone else’s.

I can definitely relate to you feeling frustrated about dressage and feeling like you’re never good enough, or just feeling intense pressure to ride better. That’s why it’s such a relief to just have my own horse because when you get on your own horse, you can literally do whatever you want and there’s no pressure to perform, or get better, or do anything at all! If I just trail ride my mare every day she’ll be happy and I’ll be happy and no one has any say to tell us otherwise.

However I also spent years and years figuring out exactly what I wanted in my horsey life and kind of knew exactly what I was looking for when I went out to buy one. I am pretty independent from trainers at this point in my riding although I obviously still take lessons and try to get better.

Also dressage is super hard, and can be very frustrating, so don’t feel too down on yourself!

[scislandsprite]

I think either sticking with current lessons or half leasing with some lessons would be a good idea. I don’t really recommend buying right now as board prices are downright painful as they have been rising for the past few years. Maybe that’s just my area though.
Anyways, I find the best thing for riding is sitting on a ton of different horses & letting yourself figure them out! Two years ago I was completely freaking out, I felt I was plateauing in my dressage riding so I ended up getting the opportunity to expand my exercise riding/schooling. Ended up taking on a variety of horses from sport ponies with a couple months of training to school masters. The variety of the horses took my riding to a completely different level and I found similar issues, some horses showed some holes I had in trot work, some showed in canter work, etc. While that part was honest about showing things I had to work on, it helped me learn a lot more as a rider because now I’m able to adapt to different horses and also highlighted my strengths and weaknesses which I didn’t always notice from only riding my horse.
Also, I didn’t have to pay board/vet/farrier etc on the other horses I was riding which is a nice benefit haha.

[joiedevie99]

@centaursam

To me all this means I need more saddle time, more than 4x a week.

It you own a horse, you won’t ride a ton more than this. Our horses work at most 5 days per week. They need one day off for recovery, and we choose to give them one light, relaxing day mid-week to break up their training days. That means you would get 1 more riding day, and 1 hack day each week more than you do now. You will need more than one horse to get more than 5 training rides per week.

Also, you should definitely lease before you buy. Your skills will change, and selling that first horse you outgrow after a year is never easy or financially advantageous.

[exploding_pony]

I agree with what most everyone has said. You are unlikely to ride 1 horse more than 4 days a week - frankly 1 day a week needs to be a hack/lunge/whatever. Most horses work five days a week.

I can’t stand not having my own horses. There have been plenty of times I’ve leased or ridden friend’s horses because my horse was off or whatever, but it isn’t my thing. The relationship and the training program is my thing.

But let me caution you - it’s an insane thing to do. I currently have four horses: 1 is permanently lame and is a broodmare, 1 is just nutty enough that I could never sell him but I can’t really make any progress with him either, and he’s a giant PITA if he doesn’t get worked … so I ride him like 4 days a week, 1 is my amazing schoolmaster who I adore and can’t imagine life without, I ride him 4 days a week and 1 is a youngster in full training who I ride a bit a few times a week after the trainer rides him.

It’s financially crazy. But at the end of the day, that’s who I am as a human and a rider.

If you don’t have the burning desire to get out of bed in the dark and race to the barn so you can squeeze in a ride before most sane people have even heard their alarm go off, then lease. Ride lesson horses. Etc.

Because horses are super easy to buy and really hard to sell

[NSC_Los_Angeles]

I think it’s best to lease, as the intensity (both financial and emotional) of owning horses is definitely a thing. It takes a tremendous toll! That fear you are feeling is very real and valid. With horse ownership massive vet bills can happen in an instant, colic surgeries, weird stupid stuff like needing stitches or a field ultrasound pop up all the time. The “extras” pile up. My rule of thumb these days when considering buying a horse is, “do I feel so compelled to buy this horse that if I don’t buy her, I will live with a sense of deep regret that will haunt me on my death bed?” If you don’t have that level of compulsion/obsession I’d say lease. This lifestyle demands such an intense commitment (and at times sacrifice) that I generally recommend leasing unless you’re one of us lunatics who would rather die than not have our own horse.

[eightpondfarm]

I can only speak for me, and my own experience. Don’t know you or your personality. For me, i do not deal with people well. I would not be happy sharing a horse with another person, either as a leasee or leasor. Heck, i don’t even share a bowl of popcorn happily!..gotta have my own bowl.
When i finally grew up enough to get clean and sober i was 30. I asked myself: What is something i’ve always wanted? Horses back in my life! So i started with riding lessons. Fell in love with an ornery cantankerous mare who was a bucker and ran students into the rail. I bought her outright and we became famous friends. I could do anything on her. I had a good job and a great apartment. I gave about 3 hours per day to the stable and my mare. Hardly ever missed. There was no turn-out by stable management…her exercise was all on-me. And i stepped up. It was a level of commitment that transformed my life. I learned Responsibility at the ripe old age of 30! When the company declared bankruptcy, i flew into full fledged $-seeking mode, started my own business and made my own hours~! It was an improvement in terms of money (well…that took about 6 mos, but still) and forsure my time availability! Had i not had my own horse i’d probably not have ventured out so boldly. It was a win/win. That was 37 years ago. I now have a large acreage property and 19 horses that i take care of all.by.myself! i am proud of myself.

[centaursam]

This was an excellent story, thank you for sharing and you definitely should be proud! I work in my family businesses and while they are lucrative, they are huge time sinks. The downside of working with family is that they tend to not want to change things from how they did things, even if it means holding on to very inefficient means of doing business. The low hanging fruit in terms of finding more riding time is actually working less. I’m hoping over time I can have more sway in how the businesses are managed but for now, it’s not happening.

I have the opportunity to lease a horse but I’m not sure it’s a good deal. It’s a 1/3 lease for $1000 a month which includes 2 lessons a week. I can ride the other horse I’ve been riding on my own for a day and then squeeze in another lesson on a different horse to make it 4 rides a week, but I’d be paying for that one.

[Feathered_Feet]

@centaursam

It’s a 1/3 lease for $1000 a month which includes 2 lessons a week.

Is this horse/trainer worth $125 per lesson? Because that’s what it sounds like your getting. That’s pretty steep, unless it’s a schoolmaster and the trainer is top-notch.

[centaursam]

The horse is great but I’m questioning the trainer. I have a deep mistrust of trainers at this point so it’s hard to gauge how “good” a trainer really is. But you’re right, at $125 a lesson, that is quite steep. Hence why I’m not so sure it’s a good deal.

[RedHorses]

What does the trainer charge for the kind of lesson you’d get with the lease?

Subtract that from the $125 and then determine if the horse is worth the difference. If the horse is better trained and more athletic/suited to dressage the lease could really do a lot to advance your riding.

What does your current trainer/coach charge for a lesson on their school horses? If the lease horse’s trainer charges more are they worth the difference?

Would it be possible to do a one month trial on the lease so you can see how you get on with the horse and trainer? The caveat here is that you must be honestly open to everything the trainer asks of you. You should be able to ask for clarification and explanation if something seems wrong to you, but holding a quiet distrust and not doing what you’re asked because you think it’s wrong is a guaranteed failure for all three of you. Not all trainers can teach all students because teaching style may not match learning style.

For example I heard a rider complaining that she was going around saying “whoa” to the horse and the instructor was telling her “you’re telling the horse to go.” The rider thought that instructor was deaf or stupid, but they meant “your body language is telling the horse to go and verbally saying whoa isn’t going to help until you fix that.” I know the instructor and they are unable to explain things in that kind of detail probably because they don’t realize the rider doesn’t know the unspoken part and didn’t ask. This is a bad combination of instructor and student.

[merrygoround]

In your original post, you say you also want to buy a house, as well as a horse.

Buy the house first! While it has a mortgage, etc, it doesn’t eat, need exercing , and endless awareness of it’s physiology, and psycological state {Yes some horses require their own couch}.

Until you are sure of the level of your education, lease. Horses are easily bought, and I’ve seen too, too many in the hands of a trainer, as the purchaser was over-horsed. In any case, lease or purchase, in early days keep your horse ar a reliable facility.

I’ve know many long time owners panicking, when the formerly boarded horse ends up in the back 40.
Besides, with one at home, bythe time you’ve finished chores, you find no time to ride, and you’ll find said beastie will require a companion, and a second companion in order that #2 doesn’t melt down, while you, when lucky, get to ride #1.

Signed: A little ray of sunshine.

[centaursam]

Current lessons are $90. I have ridden the horse in question and I really like him. He is very well trained and the few random lessons I’ve had on him were great.

It might just be that I’m not understanding what my trainer is having me do. But one thing that is bothering me is right from the start of the lesson, regardless of the horse, she has me get the neck round using the reins. The point of this, apparently, is to get the horse to engage their back end and make it easier to keep the horse straight. Honestly, that tactic doesn’t make sense to me and I don’t understand why I’m using the reins to do this; it usually leads to me just tugging at the reins which is flat out wrong. I’ve brought this up to her but this is the explanation that I get. A lot of what she is having me do involves too much rein contact (in my opinion) and I’m trying to lighten my hands as much as possible since previous trainers had me doing all sorts of horrible things with the reins.

[RedHorses]

There is nothing inherently wrong with using the reins as part of your aids to get the horse engaged and straight. Demanding too much roundness right away is counter productive, but then degree is everything.

My rein use epiphany came from a lesson with a clinician who told me that a “light mouth” can in truth be an uneducated mouth. I was riding a horse that was reactive to rein aids and I had fallen into the (very common) mistake of trying to do too little with my hands and failing to provide a steady contact as we moved. Without that steady contact I had to first find the horse’s mouth any time I wanted to use a rein aid.

I do ask my horses to take the contact almost immediately after I mount. It is a long contact, but enough to allow me to ask them to “show willing” by which I mean I want them to respond willingly to my aids even if what they offer is only a fraction of what they’re capable of giving. If they’re stiff the initial reaction might be falling in or bracing against the “bend left” aids. With the connection there is little to brace against and I can tease out a little bit of bend and relaxation while encouraging the gentle proper use of their body which will warm and loosen them up better than slopping around on a long rein.

Remember that whoa/go example I posted? Your coach is seeing you avoiding the reins and is telling you to use the reins and failing to complete the thought with “as part of your suite of aids”. I’m guessing here because I don’t know what’s happening but I remember teaching one student (who had a tendency to use the inside rein and drop the outside contact) to walk themselves through their basic aids when they got stuck. First inside leg (1) pushes to a steady outside hand (2) that catches the impulsion (half halt) then a little outside leg to go forward (3) and a touch of inside rein (4) to get the give through jaw and poll for flexion and bend. AND each of these releases the tension of the aid without dropping the horse so you can ask for the next thing (which may be the same thing again).

Remember the key principle of training - ADD your coach’s direction to what you are already doing as you are trying do whatever it is. You are trying to connect the horse with minimal rein aids and must therefore be using your seat and legs. Part of coaching is seeing what the missing piece is and relaying that to the student without listing everything they’re already doing and need to keep doing.

Riders go through phases of knowledge. When you first learn how to leg yield you learn each step of asking for inside bend with the inside rein and pushing the horse sideways with an inside leg moved slightly back and keeping the horse’s shoulder from getting ahead with the outside rein as the outside leg keeps some forward motion. But once you know all you need to think about is “leg yield” and later still you’re thinking “a little more step under the body” or “relax your jaw and round your topline” or “transition up/down while maintaining the leg yield” and so on. The coach moves from “ask for a little flexion to the inside… now move your inside leg back slightly…” to “leg yield from the track to the quarter line” with the specific corrections the rider needs in that moment.

I’m going to stop here and apologize for the epic. I hope some of it helps. And yes, I coached beginning dressage for several years. It made me more aware of what I was doing as a rider as well as what different students needed in order to learn various things.