I learned bringing a horse back home seeing and hearing everybody else being fed CAN stimulate interest and appetite even in the face of pain.
So thanks LH and Bear.
Godspeed, Bear.
You will find plenty of COTH friends who have gone ahead.
And {HUGS} for you LH.
You fought the Good Fight, and knew when to say When.
So sorry for your loss LH, Godspeed Bear.
So sorry for the loss of your beloved Bear. I think it hurts even more when you put up such a good fight and still lose the battle. You did your best…right up to the last descision. RIP Bear…You were REALLY loved.
[QUOTE=Lord Helpus;8022016]
Thank you all. You have no idea how much your support and help meant to me throughout these last 4 weeks. So many times the Internet (and COTH) threads can be judgmental – but this one was nothing but positive and it was reassuing that I was not going through this alone.
One final thing I am taking away from Bear’s situation (for lack of a better word) is that, especially with an older horse, I should have stepped back, right at the beginning and considered all the possible outcomes of moving forward with the surgery.
Bear broke his jaw on Tuesday. My 2 local vets saw him on Wed and he went to NC State on Thursday. Throughout this whole time, he was upbeat, and eating (gruel, but he was still excited about his food).
After an exam, the surgeon thought he could be managed without surgery.
At that point, Bear was still fine and happy (if you don’t count the broken jaw). 
The next day, Friday, the surgeon called and said that he was standing at the back of his stall, not responding, and was hardly eating. She thought he needed surgery and, since it was Friday, the operation might as well be done right away.
I agreed. But THIS was when I should have stepped back and asked myself questions: why was he happy and eating for 3 days, then after 1 night in the hospital, could his condition have changde so drastically? If nothing physical had changed, did we really need to rush to surgery just because it was Friday? What would his convalescence mean to him – how much pain could be expected as a direct result of the surgery? If he was going to need pain meds for that pain, could the same amount of pain meds get him through the next week if he did not have surgery?
Hindsight is easy. And I might still have agreed to the operation even if I had asked these questions. But, the point was – I did not step back and really consider all the pros and cons.
No, I am not beating myself up for the decisions I made. But I am trying to learn from them. The big red flag should have been his attitude change when the only thing that had changed was his being in a windowless stall at a hospital instead of his own stall and field at home.
This is what I have heard called “a teachable moment” and what I have learned from it is that one of the worst reasons to go to surgery (if a horse is stable) is “because it is Friday”.
Anyway. – I wanted to pass my thoughts along, one last time, just in case others can benefit from my knee jerk reaction v. a considered, thoughtful, ‘big picture’ reaction.
RIP Mister Bear.[/QUOTE] Please try not to second guess your actions. When faced with an emergency situation with a beloved horse, dog or a person our minds go into overdrive in an effort to fix things and get back where we were. You did the absolute best by your Bear. He knows it, we know it and God knows it too. It is a blessing that if he had to leave us he did so surrounded by people who loved him and had his best interest at heart. Look back and rejoice in the good life he did have in your care. Chin up.
Oh dear. Bumping because I remembered reading this thread in the beginning and hadn’t seen the outcome until you linked it, Lord.
I am so SO very sorry you lost your boy like this. Heart is broken for you.
