If you continue at this barn, I would send a text or email to the BO. In it I would ask her to verify that you are in no way a supervising adult or in any way responsible for this kid. If something happens it could be useful to have this in writing.
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You are an employee, and donât get to make this decision. Sounds like a poorly run barn IMHO, with all those injuries and bad horses, but thatâs another thread. The BO and BM make the decision as to what the 13 yo can and cannot do. Complain to the BM if you have issues, there is nothing we can do. It seems more like you have a bone to pick with this kid rather than genuine safety concerns.
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Well thatâs easier said than done. If you are the only other person on the property, you cannot in all good conscience walk away if the kid is hurt, trapped, unconscious, or about to get bucked into the rafters.
I would probably have a sit down with the BO/BM and be willing to walk. No way would I agree to be the only responsible adult for a minor riding at night.
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Oh, I was not meaning to not help in case of emergency! I was thinking about protecting yourself in the aftermath of an accident, in case the BO claims that there was a âsupervising adultâ there and you would be left to answer questions about your supervision! I was attempting to document that she is a barn worker and in no way responsible for the actions of the kid.
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Also I think you canât be a supervising adult unless you have the authority to tell the kid what to do. Her trainer or parents presumably do. You as barn help donât really, and in any case donât fully know about her riding.
A supervising adult needs to be able to say get off that horse, out of that stall, or your riding privileged are over. Etc. A supervising adult isnât just to be within hearing distance to cal 911.
OP should make it clear she does not have the authority, the knowledge, or the desire to be that person.
It also occurs to me that the BM might know more about the girlâs home situation than you do. There might be a lot of good reasons why being at the barn until 10 pm is the best life choice for her right now. Especially if she has a reckless and independent streak.
Much better channelling that into risk taking with horses than with unsuitable friends and substances.
Reckless and independent, channeled correctly, are good foundations for horsemanship. Better than meek and totally dependent on adults for direction.
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Sounds great until she has a wreck on your property and you get sued, though. I canât imagine any rational business person thinking that it is worth their livelihood to allow a minor to be reckless and independent on their insurance policy. Iâd be inclined to think the BM might be more cavalier about this because they are not the BO. Although in an accident, all parties will get sued; I wonder if they have ever considered that?
MsM - I understand you didnât mean that the OP shouldnât help in an emergency. Thatâs the problem - they can say that they are not âthe supervising adultâ but in the end, they are the only other person present, so there is still some responsibility. I donât know that they could be held legally responsible, but it would not be a burden I would be willing to take on.
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well after reading these two pages I guess I would opt out for a call to child protective services one night from a pay phone if I could find one and let them figure this out
Kid is there alone up to 10 PM⊠wasnât it just recently were some parents got nailed to the wall just letting their kids go to a park a couple blocks away?
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Quick answers from the original, bare-bones post (more issues have clearly arisen since then):
It is common in my area for 16yos to be around riding without parents/guardians supervising them. Occasionally kids as young as 14-15 (who will get dropped off, and then either picked up at a predetermined time or wait for a call that their child is getting close to finished), but typically it is when kids get their license that they are unleashed on the world with their own schedule.
That said, all barns I have been at have a âno riding if you are the only one on the propertyâ rule. You could ask for an exception, but it was very uncommon to be granted one - and typically it came with certain rules that had to be followed (IE: buddy system - text someone saying what you were doing & by what point they should hear back from you). No late-night rides in an empty barn alone without follow up.
It is not frowned upon for a rider of a horse to âtake care ofâ a horse they ride in any barn I have been at. You rode another personâs horse with permission, weather changes, put on a different blanket (either conference with them if you donât know them, or trainer, only make the call on your own if you know them very well). Or pick out their stall, clean out a bucket the horse has half-drank down and then re-fill. Itâs generally a respectful gesture of âI am caring for your horse as if it were my own, because I appreciate your generosity in permitting me to ride them.â
Now all of this aside: I ask this with the utmost kindness I am able to, OP, but if there is worse than just unsupervised riding (and you later imply that there is - encouraging horses not her own to âbuck higher!â, over-riding them, jumping when sheâs not meant to; extreme waste with stall picking; trainer issues) then I wonder why you did not lead with that?
It sounds, at points, that you are more frustrated with her making your job harder than you are with actual policy/rationality (any barn that forbade me from picking out a stall of a horse I had ridden would not be a barn I would be comfortable at). It may behoove you to spend your energy making sure she knows how to do it to a reasonable standard (minimal waste, less excess, and not generate extra work for you) and then remind as necessary. If this fails and she continues to generate extra work, address this with your BO - is this in your job description? Will they back you up? If not, then youâre stuck and it is what it is unless youâre willing to walk.
Now, if the safety issues are as bad as you say (unsuitable horses, erratic and immature riding of them, after hours/alone) then if the barns have the security cameras you mentioned earlier, just make note of dates and times. It is a simple thing to catalogue events that you would like someone else to assess. Compile a handful of good examples (irresponsible riding, stuff when alone, incorrect stall picking, etc) and then request your BO to look at them & say you would like a discussion to clarify your understanding of the barnâs policies. Again, if they donât back you up/realize it is as bad as it is (if it is so bad), then you are stuck. You deal or you leave.
I say all of this from a place where I have been in the position to ride alone on property. I have ridden horses not of my own (sometimes after hours). I have also been the one rehabbing a horse (and deliberately choosing to hand-walk at isolated times so there were fewer external stimuli to cause problems). The behaviors themselves arenât an automatic red flag to me. There can be times and reasons for all of them. But the policies should be clear, and at the end of the day, the girl and her trainer sound like poor horsepeople and should not be permitted to engage with horses without supervision at all, and as I donât know the relationship between your BO and the trainer you mention the girl having, I suspect the BO may not be one who is inclined to care. It is a shame, but sometimes it is just the way life is - not your sandbox, not your rules (for right or wrong).
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I also feel like I canât 100% clutch my pearls over the situation described unless I saw and evaluated the behavior. The OP is on the premises but by their own account not watching carefully. There may be more sound and fury to the girlâs rides than actual physical risk.
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The OP is an employee, and is in no way responsible for a client. Itâs not hard to prove that an employee is an employee, and a client is a client. Itâs a boarding barn, not a day care facility, the kid canât sue an employee if the kid gets hurt. The OP does not legally have to take any action to protect herself from legal action.
The OP has no responsibility in this case. She works in a barn, the kid is a client. Itâs not a day care center, itâs a boarding barn. The OP cannot be held legally responsible. She is not a âpartyâ to anything, she is an employee.
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So as the stall cleaning goes, something similar happened over the summer. Horses are on night turn out and stalls are cleaned at night. According to the 13yo our stall were "disgusting " âstill dirtyâ, when all the stalls were done the same, pee and poo taken out and any hay that didnât look good. Water buckets scrubbed and left upside down by spicket for next morning to be filled. Well that wasnât good enough, she would have to go and sift out every ounce of hay like a new bag of shavings were put in. Obviously taking clean shavings with all this hay she is taking out. And those super mini little tiny pieces of poop that fall threw the fork. Filling another bucket of stuff for flies to fester in. ( our stalls get picked all day. They look bright and like new 80% of the time. Few horses trash the stalls but her horse doesnât). So now thatâs what sheâs doing at 9 at night, taking out every ounce of hay that has been spread (that they will eat if left alone!) and cleaning every ounce of the stall.
Also in refersnce to the OP I tried to not give many details just to get an unbiased opinion, since the BM likes to say Iâm picking on her.
Also her home home life isnât bad, parents are both Drs and she has sisters that are older. She isnât a bad kid by any means. Just a little cocky, and needs to be watched!
and one of the horses I mentioned that was dangerous bucked his owner off yesterday outside (dressage people. Pretty much only ride inside so one warm day tried to go outside) child got on and worked him for 20 min then owner got on. But the owner was there!! Exactly why the owner needs to be there. Horse can be bad!
I agree with the BM - youâre picking on this girl. Something about her clearly rubs you the wrong way, but everything youâve mentioned, other than her riding alone in the evenings, is just a petty complaint. Itâs not your barn - you donât get to set the rules. Youâve told the BM your issues, and sheâs told you not to worry about it. Now your choice is to learn to deal with it or to find a new place to work.
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Agree. Youâre picking on this kid.
even if you used tweezers, picking ever lil chocolate chip out of a stall will not fill a muck tub⊠or if it does, then I agree with kid-yuck.
ETA kid pays board on 2 horses and boarders rely on her for extra care of their three for whom those owners pay board.
ââBe glad these 5 horses are in the barn, paying your salary. Making waves over almost all of this, besides the riding alone, likely wonât end well for you.
Have you seen the movie Frozen, OP?
Let it go.
I already said she may not be âlegally responsible.â That doesnât mean she doesnât feel a moral obligation to be watchful of a child.
Are you saying if you were the worker you would not have one ear listening to make sure no one is getting trampled or calling for help? I personally would not be able to just ignore and hope for the best.
I left a boarding barn because of this - and other unsafe practices. I was often the only adult in the aisle while random children attended to horses in all varieties of unsafe ways, and the staff were not around. No thank you. (One example - 7 or 8 year old standing in the indoor where staff had put horses for turnout because it was pouring outside. 4-5 horses galloping and one 40 lb in the middle. I actually picked her up and removed her because she wouldnât leave - she was âinteracting with the horses.â Another example - 3 kids picking out feet in a closed stall. One kid on her knees in teh corner directly behind the horse with a hoofpick while two others tried to hold up the horses hind feet. :eek: )
I have often said that I would like my kids to witness a horse going absolutely apeshit for them to realize how powerful and potentially dangerous they are. I donât want them to be holding said horse going berserk - but I think many kids have never witnessed a horse absolutely flipping out and should see it. I was at a barn once where owner was leading out a broodmare with a 2 day old foal and had a kid manning the gate. For some reason, the kid got nervous and shut the gate between the mare and the foal. Holy shit. I thought we were all going to die. (Funny story, I own that mare now. But I never forgot the look in her eyes and knowing how easily she could have ripped down the gates and wouldnât have cared if she trampled us all in the process. 1000 lbs of muscle - itâs not a game.)
Agree.
I agree that you are picking on this kid. Is she getting the rides you want? What gives?
The profession of the parents has no bearing on how good or bad someoneâs home life is so you really canât speak to that.
I suggest you let this go or find another place to work because if you continue to pick this battle, you will lose.
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Please send her to my place ASAP. Iâm around to supervise, she can ride with my kid and god damn she can pick my stalls. 
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