Nope, no commission. I asked her before we started looking if she would take a commission on any horse I bought with her assistance and she said no, she doesn’t do that. Not sure why not because she was giving me valuable assistance and I would have happily paid. I did get her a gift basket as a thank you though.
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OK, no problem on that front then.
I just replied to the other comment when yours came in!
No commission, but I asked her at the start of our search whether she takes a commission on any horse bought with her assistance. She said no, she doesn’t do that. I’m not sure why she didn’t because she offered valuable assistance that I would have happily paid for. I did get her a gift basket, though maybe that was a little cheap of me.
I asked her if she would attend showings with me or come do a test ride on horses that might be a fit. She says that she generally does not attend showings or do test rides unless the horse was trailered into our barn.
I can see how it looks like I cut her out, but the process was pretty collaborative. She told me to join a couple facebook groups and check postings and send anything I liked to her because the market was moving so fast and she might miss something. She would then review anything I sent her and let me know if the horse was possibly a good fit or not. If it was possibly a good fit, she would either talk to the horse’s owner’s trainer or coach me through talking to the horse’s owner. Then I would go try the horse, talk to her about my impressions, and then she’d let me know if she thought a PPE was warranted or not. Of the six horses I tried, I found five of them myself and brought them to her for review.
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I think you may have an unrealistic view of how anything but the top level show barns work. Staff is incredibly hard to find and keep, especially now. Good barn managers are expensive and also hard to find/keep. And while having employees to do the things is great, employees need to be closely managed and they DO get sick, quit, etc. I’m not sure it’s realistic, given the extreme cost of all the things and the incredibly thin to nonexistent margins on boarding, to suggest they have extra people just lined up to step in when someone calls out.
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I get that, the labor market is tough. I’m not suggesting that barn owners should keep extra employees on-call, I’m just saying that I don’t want a trainer who has to cover daily essential barn chores - mucking, feed, water - 5/7 days per week because of staffing issues because my lessons and my horse’s training rides frequently get cancelled, delayed, and/or shortened as a direct consequence. I don’t think that’s unrealistic of me? And I’m hoping there’s a barn out there that isn’t in this situation and that is not also a top level show barn because I aint got the money for that 
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It’s not unrealistic if you are willing to pay! I pay quite a bit more for basic board at a facility where there is a manager and staff, in addition to several trainers. I pay about 300 more per month JUST for board than I did. Nothing is free but it’s out there.
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Based on this, I think you should move if you can afford the step up barn.
I have a barn and manage it, my pro is involved in the horse care but we decide together. No employees. I do the chores, and she does if I am out of town or sick. Lessons are not shortened or cancelled, training rides are regular. The only time the training rides shorten are when we are at a show or she takes a rare vacation. But we observe the usual holidays, so the schedule lessens those weeks. Or if the horse is off.
Another issue is your show goals. We go to a limited number of rated shows per year. We would not be a good fit for anyone who wanted to show locals or who wants to travel the circuit and go to Florida in the winter.
If your goals and budget allow you to step up, I think a reasonable trainer will accept and congratulate you if you say “I want to show more rated shows this year.” I am always happy to well wish people on with different goals than the program.
The reason “I want to do rated shows regularly, and my current program doesn’t fit that goal” is plenty for moving. Clients move programs all the time for showing related reasons, and any decent trainer will accept and encourage such a transition. Even if it isn’t the only reason, or even the MAIN reason, it’s the best reason to use to make your way out.
IME, messaging a barn page and asking some basic questions won’t immediately inspire a trainer-to-trainer phone call. Word might get out eventually that you are looking to move, but barns field questions about boarding ALL the time these days. Send something with a few deal-breaker questions before scheduling a farm tour.
“Hi! I’m looking for board and lessons/training in a show program near Town. I was wondering if you had any availability? I have a new young WB that I want to do the local A’s with, he’s just getting started jumping around. Mainly though I’m looking for regular lessons, show opportunities, and lots of turnout, with barn hours that are open so I can ride after work. Any info would be appreciated. Thanks!”
Something like this should weed out the barns with a mile long waitlist, the ones with a deal-breaking set-up (put one or two in your query. Mine would be limited turnout and closing before 9pm), and open the door to schedule a walk around. Tour, watch a lesson or two, focus on interviewing the new place. If pressed (or if it’s a small enough area that people know you), just focus on the showing thing.
Then give your notice, and IMO, eat the cost of the 30 days of board and move relatively quickly. You’ll be happier, your stall won’t be filled at the new barn by someone looking to move ASAP (I’ve seen it happen!), and you can get started on your goals.
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Obviously we can only go on what you’ve posted here, but your trainer doesn’t sound bad to me–doing chores in-between lessons isn’t a red flag, unless (and this has happened to me) lessons are cut short, run late, or have big breaks in the middle of them because the trainer is putting out barn-related fires and there is no one to step in. The fact she didn’t demand a commission for your horse suggests she’s very careful about not overstepping what she sees as her boundaries.
The main issue it sounds like is that the barn is no longer competing at the level of shows you wish to compete at, and which your horse is capable of. It’s gotten more expensive to show at rated shows, and it can be exhausting for trainers with skeletal barn staff. Even with help, when I was at a small show barn with only a few kids helping out, trainers were WIPED OUT at the end of schooling show days.
I think if you go into the attitude with thanking your trainer for what she’s done, find a barn that meets your competitive goals, and don’t think of it as a slight on your trainer, but just another step in your journey with horses, you’ll feel better. Sometimes the idea of “burning bridges” can be mental. As long as you give notice, pay up all your bills, and don’t bad-mouth her, I think all will be well. But be forewarned, just because you go to a higher-end show barn doesn’t necessarily mean it will be less chaotic or the staffing will be loads better–it may be, but it may not be.
To find a new barn, I would go to the shows where you want to compete as a spectator. Look around, see how the trainers behave. See what competitors you respect as well as who wins. Also, that isn’t awkward at all, and isn’t an automatic sign of barn-shopping.
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OP has said they have missed significant amounts of lessons or training because the trainer has to fill in basic barn chores because the barn employees are quitting or absent. That’s a big hole in the business plan because the trainer is losing a big source of income from the lessons. It’s a bad sign because it means the business is starting to slide.
I hang out at the low end of nice horses so I’ve seen some interesting stuff. For me this is a huge red flag if it’s happening regularly because eventually there may be no lessons at all. It also shows that the trainer is not in a position to prioritize lessons.
Obviously not just once in a blue moon. But if you’re losing enough lessons to notice it, the trainer is in a downward spiral time management thing that is going to lead to described revenue and trouble ahead.
The lessons help pay for the barn help. The trainer can earn more by doing lessons than they pay the barn help. If they stop doing lessons to do barn work themselves things will go into a bad spiral.
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While many say this is a service industry, and it is to an extent it’s also a teacher/student relationship. Please talk to your trainer before you leave. Yes, all trainers speak to each other and good trainers will call the soon to be former trainer to make sure you’re: 1- paid up. 2- info about the training schedule and horse. It’s the professional thing to do. I wouldn’t worry too much about leaving. At the end of the day many trainers are in the biz for decades and see students come and go. They also have good years and bad years just like clients. If you can’t hang in there and it’s not working for you, be honest because at the end of the day as much as it hurts it’s the right way to do things. 
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Sorry OP, I missed the comment about lessons being cancelled or cut short because of the need to do barn chores. Still, in my area–and I do think it’s a larger industry problem–it’s been increasingly difficult even for very accomplished and winning trainers with good reputations to find decent help. Especially “assistant manager”-type help, in other words, horse people with enough skills to help manage a barn. So moving barns might not be a total fix for the issue, and it can be a hard thing to vet. Because some days a barn might be running fine, but then one thing goes wrong, and then the whole schedule gets thrown off–usually, in my experience, the first lesson or two at any barn is very attentive, but it’s once you’re a regular customer (or have moved your horse) the true character surfaces.
But it does sound like this barn is kind of on its way down rather than up, if they’re scaling back on showing. If other people aren’t upset, they might be happy with a very low-key show schedule and not care that much if lessons are unreliable. Personally, though, I agree, I’d be upset, and one thing you can “vet” is if barns are going to the types of shows you aspire to. That’s a pretty clear, concrete thing you can use to make a decision.
I’m not sure why my entire first post in this thread had to be quoted! I’m a regular poster and it’s not like I constantly start drama and then delete all my posts. I don’t think I’ve ever deleted a post, in fact, I just edit them when I notice I make spelling or grammatical errors.
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@big_blue I think you need to reframe this decision. It has nothing to do with her personal life.
Your training needs and riding goals are no longer able to be met by this trainer. Regardless of any other factors the situation is this simple.
Based on her lack of engagement in your horse purchase process I suspect she realizes this and maybe she just isn’t the type to come out and tell you but instead just waiting for you to decide to move along on your own.
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You situation sounds very similar to what I went through with a trainer and barn. Be glad your trainer actually is doing the barn shores at least because mine just let the care slip and didn’t do anything.
Based on my experience it’s time to move on. As others have said, look at other barns, don’t give a reason unless asked and then keep it positive and brief. And the next barn you go to may not be a great fit and then you keep looking. But overall, this barn isn’t suiting your needs anymore.
Good luck!
Sorry! I didn’t see quoting posts as hostile or anything. I was doing it to make it clear who I was responding to. I don’t have the capacity to selectively quote on my phone as far as I know. I always just hit reply quote. Lots of people do, it’s not always QFP
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Haha, that’s good to know! I was just a bit like, “wait, did I say something super-edgy by accident”?
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You do. I just highlighted the relevant sentence and then hit the “reply to” arrow.
Alternatively you can reply quote and delete the unnecessary parts of the quote.
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Impossible! You’re too kind for that. 
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Aww…thank you! 
I’m also far too lazy to delete massive amounts of my posts even if drama ensues!
I don’t know how to make my phone highlight.
Deleting with backspace is so tedious I’d just probably stop responding if I had to do that 
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