Summernyt, it is okay to find another home for a horse if you are not enjoying her. You are seeing a mismatch and have concerns. That’s smart. I’m speaking from experience, because I gave up on my OTTB this year after putting three years of training into him. He was a bucker, and I gave up on him when it turned nasty. I love the horse, but I need to stay whole. He is now in a home where he can do jumping and other things that may keep him more contented than he was out on the trail.
So if you are looking for permission to give up on the horse, give it to yourself. It’s okay. Riding should be enjoyable, and though some people manage, it is hard to ride from wheelchair.
If you wan’t to explore some more options before making your decision, then check out a few books on bombproofing and try the advice here (lots of experienced trail riders have chimed in). It boils down to what you want from your horse and what she is able to give you. I’ve had decent success getting unlikely horses (OTTB’s) doing well on the trail. But not every horse enjoys it–and when I find this out, I look for a home that provides work the horse may find more to taste. It also frees you to find a horse that suits your temperament better.
p.s. If your horse is anywhere near agile as Merlin, then God bless you!! That horse is incredible. One thing about OTTB’s: they may be powerful and fast when running in a straight line, but I could always feel a spook or a buck long before it arrived.