Dear, Designated, Darling COTH

[Ambitious_Kate]

You know, the OP hasn’t even said HOW her horse is lame, just that it IS lame, and she actually has every excuse in the book for not having a vet look at the horse. OP, why are you sitting on a BB talking circles around your problem instead of calling the vet? And I don’t buy that excuse that there are no good horse vets in your part of Montana. Post where you are, so COTHers can see if any of them know a good lameness vet who will see you. You might have to trailer your horse to their clinic, but there’s really no excuse that he can’t be seen. And if you can’t afford that, why do you even have a horse?

And Rustbreeches? You’re just capitalizing on the problem, here. She doesn’t need another horse, she needs to take care of the one she has.

[Bluey]

[QUOTE=Ambitious Kate;8103980]
You know, the OP hasn’t even said HOW her horse is lame, just that it IS lame, and she actually has every excuse in the book for not having a vet look at the horse. OP, why are you sitting on a BB talking circles around your problem instead of calling the vet? And I don’t buy that excuse that there are no good horse vets in your part of Montana. Post where you are, so COTHers can see if any of them know a good lameness vet who will see you. You might have to trailer your horse to their clinic, but there’s really no excuse that he can’t be seen. And if you can’t afford that, why do you even have a horse?

And Rustbreeches? You’re just capitalizing on the problem, here. She doesn’t need another horse, she needs to take care of the one she has.[/QUOTE]

That.

Two times is not enough, lets repeat it, again.

[chism]

[QUOTE=Frostbitten;8103591]
He needs rhythm beads to align his id with his ego. He needs to cut all gluten from his diet and he needs a therapist who can bring out his inner horse. Does he live in your house? If not, why not? How can you expect him to realize his full equiness if you are not willing to let him fully into your life?[/QUOTE]

You hang pictures of yourself in his stall of course, and bring all family members, 2 and 4 legged (canine & feline) to hang out with him in his stall so he feels like part of the family.

[gumtree]

[QUOTE=roseymare;8103648]
And be sure to put Duct tape on his nose to settle him down for the incense burning trimmer

and dont feed him beet pulp it is full of GMO and other toxic chemicals since it is a waste product you know…[/QUOTE]

Duct tape is garbage. It has sugar, starches and other stuff that will only make him hotter.

You have to use DUCK tape.

[gumtree]

[QUOTE=SharonA;8103790]
It sounds like he is actually a mare.[/QUOTE]

Yup, another dishonest seller not making full disclosure and telling the buyer the horse has gender issues. Just get the procedure done and change the color of your saddle cloth. Your horse will be much happier.

[trubandloki]

Heck with everything else. Apple Cider vinegar fixes everything and anything according to what I read on the internet and you know if it is on the internet it has to be true.

[ManyDogs]

I disagree.

[Sparky]

Please don’t get overly enthusiastic and promise him the Guiness and the balcony before you KNOW you can deliver.

[supershorty628]

[QUOTE=TheJenners;8103950]
NO GUAC!![/QUOTE]

Um, no? You’re obviously a burrito novice and not fit to have burritos. You need to be schooled on the WAY LIFE IS. You need a trainer who will perfectly prep your burrito for you since you’re incapable.

I mourn the loss of true burritomanship in this generation.

[Callista17]

[QUOTE=Halt Near X;8103797]
I am trying to imagine how I will POSSIBLY tell my vet that my gelding needs a sex change operation.

Tomorrow’s post: looking for vet recommendations in [location].[/QUOTE]

I hope they have good manners and can trim feet. I haven’t had mine trimmed in 2 years, and mine’s scared of needles and tranq. Plus I’m going to have THEE CCCCUUUTTTEEESSSTTTT WWWIITTLLEEE BEEEBBBBYYYY filly!

[BEARCAT]

Clearly he/she needs a Small Mesh Haynet.

[TBROCKS]

Pull his shoes, provide at least 36 hours of turnout per day, and stop giving him The Devil’s Ration (aka grain).

[Halt_Near_X]

[QUOTE=Coanteen;8103850]
I will calmly recap and bring new posters up to date with the information that, according to post #8, the gelding is likely a mare by now. In any case, OP seems to have trouble sexing the horse and telling colors apart for both horse and salt, and what she clearly needs is to hand the animal of dubious gender over to a qualified trainer for at least eleventy!1!! days and get her ass to an Obamacare opthalmologist.[/QUOTE]

I reserve the right to deny that I resemble this statement, but even if I DO resemble this statement, I assert that I only have vision problems when I am drinking.

[Halt_Near_X]

[QUOTE=roseymare;8103859]
Once you talk to the new healing advocate I am sure a simple change to their supplement regimen that is $98.97 a bag will cure your horse of all that ails him/her.[/QUOTE]

That seems cheap. They can’t be any good if they are that cheap.

[Halt_Near_X]

I pinky swear that when I borrow a trailer I will probably take my horse to the vet and not to rustybreeche’s house to buy her saddle and take her pony.

The pony won’t fit on my balcony with the horse, but he can hang out in the living room. I’m sure he won’t make a mess.

And I totally forgot about apple cider vinegar. That stuff cures everything! One whiff and I’m sure he won’t be lame any more.

Everyone else, I reject your reasonable-sounding advice because the moon is in Venus.

[bluemooncowgirl]

The horse clearly needs chiro work done, and a weekly massage. As far as you, it’s very obvious that your bra size is wrong, you need to start shopping at Wal-Mart, and I would suggest several kayaking trips (COTH-style) to help you relax which will make your horse not be lame anymore. He’s lame because you are uptight. I suggest a kayak trip instead of taking an anti-depressant or taking Valium. Those are chemicals and they are bad. That’s just dangerous.

Have you tried to ACE him?

[kelo]

You need to start with a box of Crayons. A BIG box of Crayons.

[Synthesis]

[QUOTE=supershorty628;8104036]
Um, no? You’re obviously a burrito novice and not fit to have burritos. You need to be schooled on the WAY LIFE IS. You need a trainer who will perfectly prep your burrito for you since you’re incapable.

I mourn the loss of true burritomanship in this generation.[/QUOTE]

Burrito novices jeopardize the appropriate handling of burritos everywhere. Someone needs to call Sarah MacLauglin!

[allpurpose]

Wait! Wait! No one has mentioned barefoot. Please make him barefoot. That solves everything.

[TBROCKS]

[QUOTE=allpurpose;8104139]
Wait! Wait! No one has mentioned barefoot. Please make him barefoot. That solves everything.[/QUOTE]

See post 52.