OP, how often/how much are you jumping this horse?
Only asking because I am getting the impression from your posts that he has been getting jumped frequently, and I just want to make sense of it.
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I came on to ask the same thing.
Jumping the horse every day will not mean a lifetime of soundness together.
Your horse looks very kind and beautiful!
It can be good to keep in mind that sometimes a stop isn’t the worst outcome - it can be better for a horse to have a sense of self preservation than to mindlessly jump anything from anywhere at any pace and get its legs in a tangle.
My thoughts echo a lot of the advice you’ve received already. Riders often get too caught up in a need to “progress” by jumping bigger or feel pressure to be accurate to every jump when in reality if you have a good canter on a straight horse who is in front of your leg and supported with contact, the distance isn’t as important. A workable distance will materialize from a quality canter and appropriate pace. Improvement isn’t measured by the height of the jump, and I think if you can get confident riding up to smaller jumps and asking for more impulsion at the canter on the flat with a quieter, more positive ride (ie. supporting with your leg and staying tall with your body rather than pumping with your upper body and throwing away your contact), it will help you be more consistent to the jumps.
Your horse looks a bit on the dull side and behind your leg/under the pace, so I would practice lots of transitions, cantering around with contact and more pace, finding that good canter so you can jump out of stride over ground poles, small crossrails and smaller verticals. This rideability will translate to bigger jumps, without subjecting your horse to the wear and tear of bigger jumps or putting him in a situation where he feels like he can’t leave the ground safely.
Progress is rarely linear regardless of whether someone is a professional or amateur. If you know what parts of your riding you need to improve, then you’re halfway to a solution already. I would definitely recommend taking lessons as often as possible, or asking a professional you trust if they would be willing to give you some feedback based on videos. Sometimes we don’t realize the habits we are falling into that have an adverse impact on what we are trying to achieve unless there is someone there to give us guidance in real time.
I love a horse like this. Totally my type. One that is on the lazy/dull side, you’ve got to get him in front of the leg. Don’t let him just figure it out. He can’t at this stage because his natural move is not to get more energized (whether to move up or collect). You have to be pretty accurate, and getting a better canter that is forward and more connected will make you more accurate. Eventually, he should pick up on the distance without you working so hard.
I see this fairly often with imports that are lazy. Because in Europe they ride them more connected and tell them what to do a bit more than the average amateur hunter rider. Part of the retraining is to get them to respond with a little less connection and to pick up on the jumps some themselves. And to be comfortable with more of a gap distance and open stride. But you must still ride forward with impulsion which means not having your reins flopping in the breeze and kicking to no response.
I would practice over a lot of ground poles. I like to set some up on a long bending line and work on getting a different number of strides between. This will teach you to get a more adjustable canter and will get him responding to you better without worrying about a miss because it’s just a ground pole. I would not jump him by yourself and keep putting him in these no man’s land distances. Once you can get any distance you want to a ground pole, move on to low Xs or verticals. This horse has enough scope. What you lack is the right canter. There is no need to try to jump bigger to learn the right canter. It just puts more wear and tear on the horse and sets you up for more stops and crashes.
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You’ve gotten some great advice on here. I am just wondering if you ever have your trainer school him over fences? I remember when I got my first horse as an AA with not a lot of experience with green horses. I’d be struggling with the distances, my trainer would ride him for a bit and I would get on again and the distances would be so easy. I think this is very helpful in addition to exercises to improve your own eye.
Your horse is lovely in all the traditional ways, but to me his greatest asset is how kind he is. I think you need to rewire how you’re thinking about the stops. He doesn’t seem to be stopping to be naughty. He seems to be doing it because it’s the safest option for both of you. You don’t have enough impulsion and connection in his canter to stay consistent enough to even think about the actual distances, so right now you’re coming to whatever distance appears. If it’s a possible distance to jump from, he does - and those jumps are too big for him to hop over from bad distances. If not, he gently stops. He’s not getting upset and he’s not lawn darting you. If he took the long one he may well jump you right off just from the sheer force it would take to jump a 3’ jump long from too slow a canter. I can promise you that every horse isn’t so kind!
So appreciate those stops. They’re a WAY better option for what’s going on. And now use them as an indicator that something in the ride or approach needs to be fixed. You need to get him in front of your leg, straight, and consistent, and get your position stronger too. As you work on those things, step back to poles on the ground. He won’t stop at those, but you’ll start to see when you get to a distance that wouldn’t be possible at a bigger jump and really be able to work on your canter, your position, and your distances (in that order).
Also…he isn’t too good for you. Don’t put yourself down. We’re all here to learn and be the best we can be with our horses. We all make mistakes and have things we have to work on. That doesn’t mean you don’t deserve your horse. My mare could have done way more with a better rider. But she’s mine, and she’s taught me the world. We’re amateurs, that’s our job. Our horses don’t know how good they are, they just know if they’re loved. 
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Best explanation about distances ever! Thanks for sharing!
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This. Also, I agree with everything else posted prior to me. I’m a fellow AA and I lean towards timidity over fences. I don’t struggle as much with impulsion, as I have a TB with a great forward, balanced canter. But, I do struggle with picking and tension, and that makes for flyers and stiffness with my boy, sometimes.
I’ve been training solely dressage for the past 4 months- the confidence it instills is incredible. Knowing that you can ask for, and receive, adjustability without compromising the ride to and from the fence, is so empowering. I really do ride my poles and cones at home as if it’s dressage with little speed bumps dispersed. The horse will always have the jump, as long as they stay sound. The flat work (under guidance from a reputable trainer) will do nothing, but improve you both- no matter what discipline of jumping you choose to move forward with. I don’t know, but I can bet some COTHers here can attest that the best working and show hunters - I say this because you’re riding with little contact, which is similar to how a finished hunter would complete a round - can (and probably do) regularly school excellently in dressage.
Good luck!
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This. More leg. To me, he just seemed unsure that you wanted him to jump. I always add leg at the base to ensure my horse jumps well, but I think perhaps you need to take a step back and do some coming forward off the leg solely on the flat.
On lazy horses, making sure they have enough to get across the jump is important, & starts on the flat. Extension & collection is something you can work on by yourself. Even putting a pole on the ground and practicing having that strong leg and good pace will help, just pretend it’s 3’ off the ground.
He is a LOVELY jumper in the second video.
I’m glad you got some good advice on here.
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As so many other have said - this.
But I’m also going to be the person that says the uncomfortable bit -> horses are generally forgiving creatures, but you can only “lie” to them so many times. And I include presenting them at a fence without enough gas to jump it as “lying” as you are setting him up to fail. The last thing you want is for your lovely horse to start thinking that jumping is optional and/or not very much fun. I’d recommend really working on fixing the issues identified on the flat and sticking to smaller jumps until you have addressed these issues.
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BTW, the bulk of the work you need to do with an ammy horse can be done 2ft and under. Pace, placement, striding, turns, developing the eye, adding strides, dropping strides, difficult approaches, proper departures.
You only need to lift those fences up occasionally, once you’ve got the rest of the basics down.
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All of that can be done with poles on the ground as well.
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I will just delete and post a flat video. Thank you all so much for your advice… it has helped me immensely.
You didn’t follow anyone’s advice. Too much hand and not enough leg. A flat video would of been more useful, than a jumping video showing more of the same. You need to go back to basics on the flat and work on getting him forward. Practice hand galloping. When you say go, he needs to go. A forward, balanced canter comes from the rear of the horse. You should feel him carrying you.
Hey OP!
Definitely agree with other’s comments above! Definitely think you have a lot of good things to try and work on!
Just wanted to comment on the coach’s comment of “you’re helping him too much” and “letting him figure it out” - do you feel sometimes when you are riding and jumping that you are thinking of a million things and trying to do everything perfect all at the same time? Perhaps your coach was noticing this and this was her way of saying “stop micro-managing your ride” (I’m bad for this because of my type A personality, and I try to control every situation - but when I finally get out of my horses way he can do the job much better!). Now in saying this I don’t think you should just sit there and stop riding and cross your fingers and hope for the best. I think instead perhaps when you are jumping to only focus on say two things instead of the million - to start maybe just really focus pace and rhythm! Do I have enough canter? Do I have a nice rhythm (counting 1-2-1-2 helps to see how the rhythm feels). If the answer is no to either of those questions, maybe do a circle, work on that canter and those aspects before coming to the jump!
Only second note I will make is on your rein length. There is no connection between you and your horse (it appears that this is the case because you were trying to get him to go forward). I know in my past of riding, many horses really want and look for that connection with their mouth. You don’t want to be pulling, but think of it as “holding his hand” just like if you were walking down the street with a friend or loved one! Just a soft connection saying “We’re in this together buddy!”. This will help you from dropping your reins in front of a jump etc. As well, if you have a connection and your horse grinds to a halt, you definitely don’t have enough canter to be going to that jump 
A lot of AA’s get too focused on a perfect distance, and heck I think we would be lying if anyone said they didn’t have their fair share of chips in their riding careers! (I think we would all prefer our chips with salsa however 
)
Keep doing what you’re doing! You will get there!
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Just wanted to add that yeah lack of impulsion was obvious right away. Think supershorty628 really said it all better than I could.
My opinion, especially when the jumps are relatively low, iffy spots are whatever if the horse is forward and has impulsion. Doesn’t need to be fast, just in front of your leg. Think in that video where he stopped even just a little impulsion would have gotten you over. Sit up and leg at the base. Think you should be jumping lower honestly if you don’t have the leg for more canter but hard to say from just that video. Was a little hard for me to tell if the horse was backing off at the approach, but still more impulsion.
idk what your training situation is but I’m a pro and I almost never jump that height without another pro on the ground giving me feedback even if it’s not a formal lesson. I do sometimes but really only on a super easy horse.
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