I would add that the situation as described is not putting the student first any more than it is putting the horse first. The student is being allowed to ride in a manner that puts her at risk and that does not allow her to develop important skills in the correct sequence. If anyone is being prioritized, it’s a lazy lesson program that either hires incompetent instructors, or overworks their instructors, such that its in no one’s interest to actually evaluate and teach the students. In this kind of low end program, students come off and get hurt, and horses go sour. Neither benefits.
14 Likes
I absolutely hate that this situation is being framed as rider versus horse, and, no offense, OP, but the mentality is one which I often see in old skool riding teachers. When a child in the situation you’ve described is afraid and choking back on the reins and gripping with her legs, she’s not trying to be mean to the horse. She is afraid. The horse might not understand, but the instructor is a human, the person in charge, and should do so.
It should never get to the broken arm part. I agree that not all beginning kids have great balance. But to start learning to jump crossrails or even canter, I think at minimum a kid needs some bravery and balance. Some have quarts of bravery and so-so balance. Some are less brave, but from doing gymnastics/dance and other physical activities, they are fit and well-balanced. The child in the hypothetical has neither.
The priority is to keep the kid safe and the pony from becoming so sour he won’t even jump with other kids. Lowest priority is the instructor/barn who finds it easier to teach every student the same in a lesson or parents who want to see the kid jumping.
Finally, it’s not unusual (especially if the kid gets hurt) for a young/beginning rider to say “I got bucked off” or parents to be upset. It sounds like the instructor wants to put her back on the horse to “teach her a lesson” of some sort, which is awful, IMHO. After a year of riding appropriate horses, dollars to doughnuts she gets back on that horse and thinks the horse is a completely different ride.
10 Likes
Susie should be on the lunge line, learning an independent seat and hands, before even being allowed to trot over a crossrail.
If she’s so afraid of an 18" jump that she’s interfering with the horse, then she’s not ready to jump. There isn’t any excuse for her to be jumping anything. She’s simply not ready, mentally or physically. If she was a tightrope walker, would the trainer make her walk a 50’ high tightrope w/o a safety net, if she was this afraid and lacking the skills to do it? I think not. There are definitely holes in her training/experience that need to be addressed before she’s ever allowed to jump again. It doesn’t matter what her friends are doing. She’s not progressing, for whatever reason. Maybe she doesn’t want to jump at all - maybe she’d rather do something else.
And the horse - especially one described as a saintly schoolmaster - comes first. Susie, presumably, is asking for these lessons. The horse is not.
Of course, if Susie is NOT asking for these lessons - well, that’s a conversation to be had with Susie and her parents.
11 Likes
I feel like I have seen this type of situation play out many times including with my own kid (though not the extent of broken bones or anything).
I get the problem- everyone wants it to work out for the kid and the horse. But far too often it doesn’t and the instructor/trainer/horse owner hates to be the 'bad" guy and tell the kid it isn’t working for whatever reason. I think the real question is- how do you manage these types of situations so that the horse gets what it needs and the kid and parents aren’t pissed off. because it happens a lot. Not just with leases but kids having their favorite lesson horse and things stop going well.
Kids can take moving off their beloved horse very hard (ask me how I know!) and if you are lucky parents can help with this situation and ease the kid into the idea of riding a different horse. Sometimes just having them on a different horse until they bond with the new horse is all it takes.
In this case, either the kid is not working hard enough or isn’t a good candidate to be an equestrian, and/or the instructor isn’t a good match for the kid and cant teach them on that particular horse, and/or the horse is a bad match for the kid. It sucks when a kid can’t keep up with their peers but that is unfortunately how things go. Can this kid take some private lessons to get up to speed? And ride a different horse of course.
4 Likes
I am not getting a sense that this is the case based on the OP’s request for help from the COTH hive mind.
I confess that I don’t understand why someone who has been taking lessons for four years, and leasing a horse for 6 months, is still gripping the reins over 18" jumps. I would think it would be time for a gentle talk with the child and/or the parents about whether this expensive, time-consuming sport is still a fit with the child’s temperament and interests. And if they say yes, I’d suggest that perhaps a different lesson program might have more success, but if child stays with OP, no jumping until she has an independent seat and can jump without reins. (I remember my instructors sending trains of giggling, shrieking little girls over lines of [very small] jumps with no hands and no stirrups. I remember the’ tolerant, mildly patronizing expressions on the faces of saintly schoolies Annie, Victor Blue, Tubby, and Sheba to this day, 50 years later. Well, Tubby was not quite saintly, but damn, that horse taught me to keep leg on and eyes up over a fence.)
7 Likes
My impression was that the OP was just an observer, not the coach. I could however be wrong. In any case, by lazy teaching I mean letting the kid drift along in a group lesson or lease without doing the pedagogically and socially difficult work of figuring out how to fix the problem and conveying that to the parents and child.
3 Likes
My kid fell off a 3 ft sawhorse in the backyard and broke her arm. And it wasn’t even moving.
11 Likes
IMO you cannot put the rider first without putting the horse first. A happy horse is a safe horse. An unhappy horse is not. So putting the horse first isn’t just the right thing to do, it’s crucial to keep its passenger safe.
5 Likes
In the scenario, though, it’s the parents and the kid who want “off” of the horse, and the instructor who wants to put the kid on the horse, to “teach the kid a lesson,” to show the kid she “can’t get out of working through problems.” The only thing that’s preventing her is the concern that the horse might get more sour, which, is very likely, given a kid who was fearful when she had no reason to be is going to be even more fearful now that she does have one.
Even experienced riders who own their own horses sometimes back off after a bad fall and let the trainer ride for a bit, ride a friend’s more chill horse. It’s not like the kid riding a different horse is suddenly going to have problem-free rides. And if she does, maybe the horse isn’t that awesome and the kid isn’t that bad.
It’s the bitter riding instructor who gets impatient with fearful kids and who sees herself as the PR agent for the horse whose reputation she needs to rehab after he bucked that needs to back off. If the horse has truly taught nine zillion kids to ride, I doubt his reputation needs rebuilding after the kid who has the reputation as the worst rider in the barn is telling everyone she got bucked off. If anything, it’s the kid’s reputation that’s probably in the trash heap. “Brenda got bucked off of Slowpoke? Wow, I didn’t know that was possible!” Slowpoke is not some disgraced Hollywood celebrity unfairly accused that the instructor needs to protect.
9 Likes
I think it’s obvious you went past the point for this particular horse.
Fearful rider for 6 months? Yikes. Make the switch a whole lot earlier. You could also switch tack. Put her in a halter and reins for awhile so the deathgrip doesn’t harm the horse.
My answer to your question is: Horse first. Your horses are your partners in business. If you harm them, ruin them, destroy their reputations as in this case, you are harming your own business. Protect your horses first. If that means Suzie winds up unhappy and goes elsewhere, well, she’s likely to now anyhow, right?
5 Likes
so true- many of the kid injuries Ive seen and heard about are kids jumping the fences on their own no horse!!!
4 Likes
OP, I have questions:
How long is the kid out with her broken arm?
When she is released to ride, do you have another horse that she would like and feel comfortable riding?
While she is out, is there another kid that would do well with the horse in question?
Here’s what I’m thinking, as far as how to move kid to another horse, and posture things to keep everyone happy…especially the horse!
I’d guess the kid would be out for 6-ish weeks? In the meantime, release kid and her parents from the lease. Tell them it’s so that they won’t be paying while she can’t ride and that you all will re-assess once kid is riding sound.
Find another kid in your program that would be a good match for the horse, that would help his confidence and at the same time might help “show” folks that the horse has not lost his mind. Have that kid ride horse in lessons and explain it as it is to help keep him in shape while the broken arm kid is healing and rehabbing.
When kid is cleared pair her with a solid schoolie that she is comfortable with and as part of her rehab, start back with some of the basics to hopefully fill the holes in her confidence. Be sure and not make any of this sound in anyway like a demotion to the kid and her family.
Perhaps after a couple of months, the horse will be back to feeling like his old self, kid will be rehabbed with more confidence and you all could reconsider her leasing him again. Or as sometimes happens, kid will have become obsessed with another horse, that is hopefully more suitable for her.
Good luck to you!
6 Likes
Horse, then student. Without my horses I can’t teach.
5 Likes
A good riding school horse has a value greater than rubies. Students are two a penny.
6 Likes
