I’m so glad to hear that things have smoothed out at the barn, TrueGrit! The BO sounds like a great lady, and the fact that the issues with the two DQs seem to be resolved is a good sign.
Happy trails!
Bravo for the B.O.! Give her some cookies from us, please. She goes on the hero list…
So happy things are smoothing out for you. I guess the issues with DQ1 shows you that kharma does come into play!
I have a t-shirt that I wear that says “Not a Well Woman”
Quick reply…
I have a friend who runs a successful breeding farm and stands a stallion. Only one of his arms works, and he has already had one knee replaced, the other is overdue. And yet he does it everyday, runs the farm, cleans all the stalls, grows all his own hay. He gives me hope that you can accomplish anything despite what life throws at you.
[QUOTE=Bluey;4525486]
Talking about qualifications as disabled that others can see, everyone can see that I am shorter than most adults.
Does being “very” short alone qualifies as a disability?;)[/QUOTE]
I would say not. But if you ride dressage, you will feel like it when you go to try out saddles; dressage saddles are mostly made for tall, thin people.
[QUOTE=quietann;5026411]
I would say not. But if you ride dressage, you will feel like it when you go to try out saddles; dressage saddles are mostly made for tall, thin people.[/QUOTE]
I know, I have ridden in saddles that my ankle barely clears the flap.
Hard to use your leg on a very large dressage horse at the higher levels, when it doesn’t reach where most riders do.
Thankfully, horses seemed to adjust fine.
[QUOTE=Bluey;5026793]
I know, I have ridden in saddles that my ankle barely clears the flap.
Hard to use your leg on a very large dressage horse at the higher levels, when it doesn’t reach where most riders do.
Thankfully, horses seemed to adjust fine.:)[/QUOTE]
/snicker
I solved the problem by just refusing to ride the big ones. 16.1 hands is too big. My Morgan mare is a hair under 15 hands, and we get a lot of compliments for “suiting each other physically.”
More on-topic: I have insulin-dependent diabetes, and since returning to riding have had a couple of falls that have kind of messed up my left side. With a new instructor recently, I decided to just tell her everything up front, including where my emergency carbs (juice) is if I need it. (The worst fall happened when I fainted – probably from hypoglycemia – while riding a jump course. I have had IDDM for 35 years and as often happens, the longer I have it, the less ability I have to detect hypoglycemia.) I have never been very comfortable about disclosing diabetes but finally decided I needed to, for safety’s sake. And you know? It was fine.
? Disclosure
[QUOTE=quietann;5026828]
I have never been very comfortable about disclosing diabetes but finally decided I needed to, for safety’s sake. And you know? It was fine.[/QUOTE]
I have been unsure about disclosing the fact that I am on a blood thinner, and in the case of an accident with bleeding involved, things could get serious in a hurry. I do wear a MedicAlert bracelet with the info, and my closest horsey friends all know. But I’ve hesitated to tell trainers or clinicians. I am sometimes better about mentioning that left leg is somewhat disabled due to vascular damage from a DVT.
I ALWAYS wear a helmet, riding or driving.
Thanks for an interesting thread
N.H.Haflngr (Joan)I tend to limp a lot or my knee just gives out and down I go. So I get stares and questions on a regular basis since I am 24. For the horse people I explain that it was a serious riding accident and I now have severe arthritis. For other people I just say arthritis and keep it at that. Some people I just say I’m fine and then keep on walking. Depends how they ask and the reasons surrounding it.
The people that know me, know the whole story & all the problems I have had since. Some people genuinely want to know so I begin to explain everything, ending with at the age of 24 I am holding out as long as possible before a knee replacement. I also have to slightly explain my injury when I am looking for a job as my 1st Bachelors & part time work experience is in the equine field. Now I have a 2nd Bachelors and finishing a Marketing Masters…It takes some explanation why the change
There are times that I am seriously in pain & trying to make it through the day w/out crying, when people ask me if I’m okay those days…then they get the terse response of “I’m fine.” There is nothing they can do to make me feel better and I hate being an invalid at the age of 24! I do have a hard time saying “Sorry I can’t do that b/c of my knee.” Though it is a valid excuse it is hard to always say that to people. My true friends know I can’t do anything about it and others I just ignore.
It’s hard to explain things. Sometimes it comes easily and sometimes it takes everything for me not to break down and cry.
Being short does count for para
Being very short IS a disability that is covered under the U.S. Disabilities Act. It is also included in the classification for para-equestrian.
As far as saddles are concerned, perhaps a children’s saddle or saddle flap would do the trick. I am riding shorter than most dressage saddles, so I also have the flap that is longer than the stirrup leather problem. I have had to go the custom saddle route because of the back issues as well.
I also stopped riding the 17h horses and now ride 15.1h or so. I am seeing a trend of small horses becoming more popular again. I like to think that there is an advantage to the small ones. They take more strides in the arena, giving more time to show off their gaits and it is easier to make the corners and figures.
[QUOTE=whicker;5027397]
Being very short IS a disability that is covered under the U.S. Disabilities Act. It is also included in the classification for para-equestrian.
As far as saddles are concerned, perhaps a children’s saddle or saddle flap would do the trick. I am riding shorter than most dressage saddles, so I also have the flap that is longer than the stirrup leather problem. I have had to go the custom saddle route because of the back issues as well.
I also stopped riding the 17h horses and now ride 15.1h or so. I am seeing a trend of small horses becoming more popular again. I like to think that there is an advantage to the small ones. They take more strides in the arena, giving more time to show off their gaits and it is easier to make the corners and figures.:D[/QUOTE]
My saddle all these years has been a Stubben Rex.
I have used it to compete jumping and for every day training.
Before that, in Europe, I used a children’s jumping Passier.
When you are a trainer, you have to ride the big and little horses and it is ok, you don’t think anything about it, other than you do get to train the little ponies too, something the larger riders can’t easily.
I have had some BNTs question if I was too light to ride some very big, strong horses.
I finally earned the right to do so, after they became confident that skills do make up for some shortcomings after all.
With race horses, it definitively was an advantage not to have to watch my weight.
Margie Goldstein is supposed to be only 5’ tall and I don’t think anyone questions her ability on big horses and at the top, so getting there can be done even if very short.
I am surprised that size itself would be considered a disability.
“Little” people
The disability is defined as being under 4’10" by the Social Security Agency. I have copied the link to a useful set of guidelines from the University of Kansas. These are handy for knowing the etiquette of talking about disabilities, especially with those who have them.
I know excellent riders who have the art to ride the big horses by balance and training the horses to nuance. I personally like learning from them, since they can’t muscle a horse.
Thoose that know me overlook mine thoose that know me and haven’t
seen me or know of my accident and what happened can tell there
is something wrong and usually ask about it.
I walk crooked resulting in breaking my back in three places and my spine
being so disaligned that one hip is higher than the other. I can not use
shoe inserts or a build up shoe because of my back so I guess I wobble
when I walk and yes sometimes I do fall down. Balance isuues
when I walk have become an issue (But not while I ride).
and my mind well somedays it is fried others it is ok. I was told that my
brain can handle only the everyday pain from my back and hip and that
if I have any pain other than that, the pain overloads my brain,
wich is part of having PTSD. I just suck it up and keep truckin doing
what I can when I can.
Now depression. Don’t want to admit it but yes I am. After 40 years
of being able to do almost anything and now almost three years
of being able to do almost nothing (life long weight lifting restriction of
10 pound or less, can not sit or stand for lengthy period of time) really
gets depressing. Being petrified to walk in snow or ice doesn’t help
matters so I become a hermitt in the winter time. I rarely go anywhere
in winter and if I do it is with hubby or another adault than can
actually help stabalize me as I walk in snow or ice. I make sure
my kitchen cupboards and pantry along with freezer is stocked before
winter snow hits, I collect books and computer games from garage
sales and such in summer so when winter hits I have things to keep
my mind busy. I try to keep my mind as busy as it can be so that
I don’t think about what I could do versus what I can do now.
As far as people looking at me or what not. I am a country girl through
and through I grew up with the attitude that “If you don’t like what
you see or the way I look then you don’t have to look”
Hi Everyone!
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[QUOTE=betsyk;4528595]
I’ll throw in a comment because I’m interested in this group’s response. The original poster was asking about how others explain their invisible disabilities to people, in the context of “I can’t do as much as you expect and here’s why.” Speaking as the person you might be offering this explanation to, I’ll say I don’t need a whole lot of information, but if you don’t tell me something, I won’t know – I won’t know to cut you a little slack if you look tired, I won’t know that inviting you to join us for a beer after an evening at the barn might be the wrong thing to do, I won’t know to give you a call if I haven’t seen you at the barn for a few days. It’s really hard for the others around you to know what expectations to have – if I lump you in with “all 40-y-o horse owners” I’ll have one set of expectations, but if I know you identify better with “4o-y-o horse owners who live with a chronic disease” I’ll have a different set — if you don’t provide even a little information. I find this, often, with volunteers at the therapeutic program where I teach. We try to accept everyone at face value, so I don’t ask a lot of questions but wait for people to tell me what I need to know. And saying, “I’m just not very strong” can mean “I want to lift every heavy object to build up my strength” or “don’t ask me to lift the heavy stuff because I’m going to drop it” – so tell me what the implications are for the setting we’re in, please. I don’t need to know your entire medical history or your diagnosis unless you want to tell me - but do tell me “if I have to lead a horse in two classes in a row my blood sugar is going to bottom out, so I’m going to need to run to the car in between and get some crackers.” I can work with that! Does this make sense, from your point of view?[/QUOTE]
That makes perfect sense and bless you for being so thoughtful.
that said, sometimes I wish I could make others understand what it’s like to have an “invisible” illness, and other times I dont’ want any one at all to know anything about it because I want my old life back and I want to be able to do the same things as everyone else.
I was a dynamo, healthy as a horse, until about 3 years ago when I was diagnosed with Latent Auto Immune Diabetes in Adults. Since then I have also been diagnosed with Hashimotos, and in may spent a week in the hospital with Shingles and Viral Meningitis. I rode one of my horses this morning before work for about 20 minutes and thought I was going to die. It really sucks.
[QUOTE=Jaegermonster;5877780]
That makes perfect sense and bless you for being so thoughtful.
that said, sometimes I wish I could make others understand what it’s like to have an “invisible” illness, and other times I dont’ want any one at all to know anything about it because I want my old life back and I want to be able to do the same things as everyone else.
I was a dynamo, healthy as a horse, until about 3 years ago when I was diagnosed with Latent Auto Immune Diabetes in Adults. Since then I have also been diagnosed with Hashimotos, and in may spent a week in the hospital with Shingles and Viral Meningitis. I rode one of my horses this morning before work for about 20 minutes and thought I was going to die. It really sucks.[/QUOTE]
Jaegermonster, please don’t give up hope. Like you, I have multiple “invisible” diseases: MS, Addison’s Disease, Hashimotos, Pernicious Anemia, POTS, and I think I’m developing Chron’s. Four years ago I could barely walk up the stairs, but with stubborn persistance, I have gotten the medical care I needed and now I’m back riding again. I will never be as strong as in my 20s, but this summer I not only showed regularly, but put up 600 bales of hay. I take care of my five horses at home every day, too. Keep your eye on the prize and make the most of what you can. I believe horses are medicine all by themselves.
Thanks. I’m having a particularly rough week right now, and being out of commission most of the summer is really starting to get to me. Now the weather is nice, cubbing starts next weekend and I’m wondering if I can go out and play. I whip in and worked too hard to get there to just quit.
I’m going, damn the torpedoes but I can’t help but wonder at what cost. It is what it is I suppose.
JM, the hardest thing for me was adjusting to what I couldn’t do anymore. It takes a bit. 20 years ago I evented at Training level, now I’m doing schooling show CTs with crossrails. But know what? I’m enjoying the heck out of it. So even if you just get out and hilltop a bit, enjoy the heck out of whatever you can manage. Steven Jobs had some very astute things to say about living the best life we can while we are here on earth. Carpe Diem!
never considered my chronic stuff
as disabilities until the past few years. I’ve lived 20+ years with Hashimotos and have always been more susceptible to bugs going round. For the past few years I’ve been dealing with a knee that is getting worse and worse and am now facing a LTKR end of November. The thyroid issue coupled with perimenopause makes me tired, cold, achy and struggling to get through days sometimes.
At first I was very excited about the idea of getting a new knee at the ripe old age of 42 but after my pre-op “clearance” appointment with my family doc on Monday I’m feeling nervous and apprehensive. My lab work came back looking beautiful except for slight neutropenia (didn’t even know what this was until this week) which puts me at slightly higher risk of infections and we’re not sure why this level has been dropping for the past 18 months. He also gently chided to me that I might not feel great for at least a year after my knee replacement and who knows when I might ride again.
On the exterior I am a solidly built, confident and upbeat working mom with two horses. Not many know what I deal with on a daily basis. I’ve really noticed how much I’ve deteriorated lately when I moved both horses home after boarding for many years, daily feeding and mucking stalls plus working a full time job and keeping up with an 8 year son and my husband can wipe me out. I hate asking for help and yet I’m going to need a lot of help when I’m recovering from the upcoming surgery.
How do you all keep your spirits up and feel like you’re accomplishing your goals and not being left behind? Better yet how did you adapt when you finally realized you weren’t what you used to be?
