ETA: Both dogs came to me as unknown with children and permission to keep them crated until they could be returned if it didn’t work out. I don’t think they had any experience, which was preferable to me over past mishandling.
I have a shelter mutt and she is WONDERFUL with my son and our cats.
We walked into the shelter, told them we were looking for something laid back that would be good with kids and cats, not too high energy, and we didn’t care what it looked like. They said “Oh, you want Tessa.” And they were absolutely right.
The shelter we worked with was happy to have people come visit the dogs and walk them, so I took my son with me and we took Tessa for a walk every day for a week while the shelter checked my references. They also introduced her to some of their cats, so we could gauge her cat manners.
Obviously mutts are a complete mixed bag, but if you work with a good rescue/shelter operation and are clear with them about what you’re looking for, you can absolutely find something that works.
Every day I walk Tessa when I walk my son to and from school, and we always get compliments on how well behaved she is, and how great she is with the kids.
My DH is also not very good with dogs. He loves them, isn’t timid, but he’s flaky and inconsistant when it comes to training. And Tessa hasn’t been affected too much his flakiness. Though I doubt she’ll ever have a good “stay” since my husband always forgets to release her :rolleyes:, so she wanders off as soon as she thinks you’re not paying attention anymore.
[QUOTE=Wayside;5904554]
Every day I walk Tessa when I walk my son to and from school, and we always get compliments on how well behaved she is, and how great she is with the kids.
My DH is also not very good with dogs. He loves them, isn’t timid, but he’s flaky and inconsistant when it comes to training. And Tessa hasn’t been affected too much his flakiness. [/QUOTE]
That is us, except my husband likes to pretend he only tolerates the animals. :lol:
No one could believe I’d had Martha less than a day the first time I took her to pick up the kids, or that I’d found two great kids dogs in such a short amount of time. There’s even another parent considering fostering until she finds her dog, now that she’s seen what good experiences I had.
I got a lot of crap for not keeping Foster #1. Everyone (except the rescue!) said it would be stupid to pass on such a kid friendly dog and I knew I could work with her. Some. But, I just wasn’t feeling it and thought we’d all be frustrated in a year. She’s now in a better situation and I have a dog that’s right for me with the bonus of it being perfect with the kids, the cats and my husband. I thought it would take a lot longer and I might have to go through 20 to get here, but I was very specific with the rescue and they’ve been so accommodating.
I’m sorry…but to label entire breeds as not suitable is just not fair. I’ve owned four Ridgebacks in the last twenty five years and they’ve all been well trained family dogs, good with people…both the two foot kind and the adult kind. I’m fostering one right now that is super sweet, compliant and non aggressive. I’ve known lovely Golden Retrievers and also aggressive, biting ones. I own a German Shepard that has tolerated things that would make most normal dogs bite, he would let a kid abuse him and never put a foot wrong.
Judge the dog as an individual.
well, true. But we HAVE “breeds” because we want something that is predictable. To deny that breeds have tendencies towards particular patterns of behavior is just as foolish as denying that they have tendencies towards particular sizes or looks. Yeah, you can find larger-than-average chihuahuas, and more-aggressive-than-average goldens, and non-child-tolerant Leonbergers, but if you’re setting out looking for a dog with a particular set of characteristics (which I really hope everyone does), deliberately looking for a Ridgeback that doesn’t have the “average” Ridgeback temperament, or looking for a non-nippy Sheltie seems kind of counter-productive. Sure, you could find such a dog. But why spend the time looking for the unusual? if you accidentally stumble across such a dog, ok fine, go with it.
I just adopted a fantastic, 100% Golden Lab from Golden Huggs. Great with my kids, horses, cats, chickens… everybody. Golden Huggs was great at assessing which dog would work - it was the one we had contacted them about on pet finder - I can’t recommend them enough.
We have 10 dogs-7 of them from-the-side-of-the-road or pound puppies. Alll alll alll of them are wonderful.
I found Pepper on the side of the road and I believe she is a puggle. Yes, I know, a designer dog, :no: but she is an absolute joy. All the other dogs love her and she is a snuggle bunny. She hardly sheds, has a great nature, does opt to go in the back field on occasion and check out the groundhog den, but she is back within 15 minutes.
I know puggles aren’t big dogs and we don’t have kids, but a puggle from the local shelter may be something to check out.
If you want a dog that lies on her back in the crook of your arm while you watch TV-that’s Pepper. She loves to snooze on the couch or in bed, too.
So when you’re adopting from a rescue/shelter long distance, how does it all work?
What positive/negative experiences have people had in doing this?
Am I better off looking for a local dog that I can visit a few times and introduce to my kids?
What about older dogs (6+?) Positive/Negatives?
Tommy’s Girl, thanks for that link. They have an older male Lab that sounds like he is a sweet dude, which prompted these questions…
Thanks again to everyone for the great suggestions, stories and info!
Adopting from a good shelter/rescue is very straightforward.
You normally have to fill out a good amount of paperwork, including if you own/rent, how many kids, other pets, and so forth. You normally have to pay an adoption fee of some variety. My only warning would be that they’re usually understaffed/overworked, so you may need to be patient waiting for responses.
At least where I am there are tons of non-puppy dogs who need adoption. And a lot of them seem to be good souls who have gotten caught in the economic situation, not just wild pups who have ceased to be cute and are now rowdy, destructive adults.
The benefits of getting an older dog (or cat) is sort of like the whole “who cares what the breeding on a gelding does if it does the job” argument. If it is the dog you like, great.You’re not gambling as with a younger creature that it will grow up to be the critter you want, and you look to the pedigree for clues.
I can’t really comment too well on the older dog, but it’s my understanding 6+ is “old” for a large breed. 6+ for a cat wouldn’t phase me in the least. If you have the heart for an older dog, I’m sure they have a TON to offer in terms of patience and experience, and they have virtually no chance at adoption.
I didn’t read all of the posts, but I personally would not get a boxer, especially for a timid dog-person and small children. I’m sure there are plenty of nice ones out there, but the ones I’ve met have been very energetic and not in a good way. They were jumpers, and very heavy/bulky and were always pushing me off balance (5’5" and 120lbs…small but not as small as a child). Plus they weren’t very cuddly with that really short hair! lol
The breed I HAVE to recommend is a rough collie- beautiful, beautiful dogs with the best personality. My dog growing up was a large female rough collie, named Lassie of course, and she was a saint to my brother and I. We got her when I was 3/4 and my brother was around 6 as a puppy from a show dog breeder. She had a crossbite or something and so wasn’t show material. I vaguely remember being there and not liking the dogs that were barking at me (specifically a black dog) but picked out Lassie. My mom took her to a few doggy obidience classes as a puppy so she knew how to sit, shake, and lay down. She was very polite, never too rough, always took treats delicately out of our hands, and was very fun. She was a barker, but it saved my life when I was little and got myself out of the yard and started to walk into the street to oncoming traffic that didn’t see me. She sure let my mom know something was wrong and mom was able to grab me. She also didn’t like us in the water, whether it was the bathtub or pool, she would bark and follow us with a concerned look. I know some people say not to get a herding breed for small children, but we never had an issue with that. She was around my brother and I all the time, unsupervised, as well as all of our friends and cousins (babies included) and never put a paw wrong. The roughest she got with me was in the snow (she LOVED the snow and was always warm with her thick coat) when she ran on top of me while I was making a snow angel lol. I cannot say enough good things about her- she never growled at any of us and would let me lay with her. She was great with any other dog and was like a mother to our kitten. She ended up passing away suddenly at age 12 from a large cancer tumor pressing on her lungs close to her heart. I miss her dearly. 
Here’s a picture of her, she is on the right. She always had that wonderful expression, even next to my great aunt’s old dog that came from a puppy mill. Loved her so much!
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=2335116171265&l=6be837db6c
Flash,
Hope I can shed some light. I’ve adopted 6 dogs over the last 12 years, from all walks of life.
Long-distance adoption:
Apollo, the lab, was long-distance. We didn’t see or meet him before he was ours - a daunting proposition. Golden Huggs were straightforward with us on the phone, checked out our house, kids and animals, and thought he would work. He came up from Kentucky (sp? LOL) on a truck, the trip took 12 hours with a night stop. Honestly, meeting that truck was amazing. It was full of rescues, and all of us new owners lined up and got our pets. A very moving experience. Apollo took a few days to adjust, but within a week was trained to the electric fence - he never had a problem with the other dogs or cats, but we did had to convince him not to herd the fowl. Labs are eager to please and eminently trainable, so it was a breeze.
Local Pound adoption:
Little dog, my beagle mix (another fantastic family dog - also a better watch dog) came from the local ASPCA, as did my shep mix. The benefits of adopting locally are that you can do your own tests like food aggression and child safety and compatibility. You also have the benefit of literally saving them from a bad situation, the kennel, which is something they understand. Fostered pets are tougher - they don’t want to leave their current situation as it’s usually the best they’ve had in recent memory. They will adjust, of course, just in a different time frame. Keep in mind that kenneled animals may need a potty-training refresher course (all three of my ASPCA rescues needed that).
Adopting older animals:
I’ve adopted two oldies through private adoption, one was 9 yr. lab and the other a 10 yr Sharpei mix. Both of them were super, rich souls. Older dogs gauge you instantly and reward you in spades for your love, whereas puppies tend to forget. Older dogs can be crankier around kids (my experience) as pain usually accompanies old age. Also, you’ll have more vet bills from the get-go. Again, this never stopped me - my oldies were sometimes growly with the kids but never bit (despite the utter abuse being inflicted by toddlers… they were saints) - and they were such wonderful company. Oh - another thing to consider - oldies will die after you’ve owned them for only a few years, initiating the death conversation (if your kids are young). We’ve taught our kids that we can help more older dogs than younger, even if it hurts when they leave (I hope this doesn’t end up in huge therapy bills later on! LOL).
The only puppy I’ve adopted was the shep mix (she’s now 12), and honestly, I wont do that again. Too much work/pairs of shoes etc. I also like adopting less adoptable ones. The beagle was only 11 months, but had languished first in an unheated, outdoor kennel at his former home, then 5 months at the ASPCA. I had to help him.
Good luck on your search, and let me know if I can help.
[QUOTE=Tommy’s Girl;5904961]
Flash,
The only puppy I’ve adopted was the shep mix (she’s now 12), and honestly, I wont do that again. Too much work/pairs of shoes etc. I also like adopting less adoptable ones. [/QUOTE]
That’s my husband and I too- we have zero desire for the babies. They’re too rowdy, require too much attention and handling… we joke we let someone else put the miles on them.
And I also agree with what you said about the older animals being able to gauge a human right from moment one. I think you feel the “You, you’re the one” connection instantly with the old ones.
Please check out the wonderful dogs from Lucky Lab Rescue and Adoption. They have people in Massachusetts and Indiana and they are a truly fabulous organization! They have very good foster families who really test the dogs for temperament with kids, other dogs, kitties, etc. I adopted an older female lab from them in March, and she is EXACTLY as they described her! Their website is www.luckylabrescuema.com These people are like members of my family now!
I have had labs with my children from birth to age 26 and always at the barn and around the horses. My children rode them, used them as chair backs, foot stools, made them jump horse jumps, slept with them, hiked with them, etc. They are THE perfect family dog.
I’ll second the motion for a poodle! Miniatures and standards are both great family dogs. Toys are a bit too small for kids, but the bigger two are great. My mini is an awesome farm dog. He loves running around and playing outside. He’s never on a leash at home. He doesn’t know a stranger and everyone on the planet is his new best friend. He LOVES kids, even when they get rough with him. He’s extremely smart and easy to train.
My childhood dog was a mini. She was truly my dog. She slept with me, ran with me, etc. She stayed with my parents when I moved out to go to school. They got another mini when we finally had to put her down. Both of them have been awesome dogs.
My dad is a big 6ft tall ex-Marine, but really has no clue about dogs. I wouldn’t say he’s afraid of dogs, but he’s the guy who pats a strange dog once or twice at arms length because he’s not sure what to do with them. The poodles have always been easy for him to deal with and they’ll listen to him despite him not really having a clue.
Poodles are smart and easy to train. They do require professional grooming, but if you keep them relatively short, you don’t have to do much in between grooms. My mom takes her mini every six weeks and doesn’t do a thing to her in between grooms. She lives in a suburb and isn’t out getting wet/muddy/dirty. My boy is growing out to show and I’m a groomer, so I bathe and brush him out once a week, but when I had him cut down I just groomed him once a month. I generally give him a bath once a week regardless of amount of hair just because he gets gross playing outside on the farm. I did the same for my old Border collie too though.
You do have to be careful with poodles. There are a lot of health issues with them, but if you find a good breeder they can be avoided. Standard poodles were initially bred to be hunting dogs - specifically water retrievers and the minis were bred down to hunt for truffles.
If you want to go the poodle route, feel free to PM me, my friend breeds minis (where I got my boy) and knows of good breeders for both sizes all over the place. Feel free to PM if you have any further questions!
If you are serious, start filling out applications. It may take a while to click with a particular place or dog but you will eventually. And then you’ll realize that Chinese Crested sleeping on your couch was meant to be. :yes:
I didn’t have time to read the entire thread - but you can try Big Fluffy dog rescue http://bigfluffydogs.com/ they have branches all over the east coast.
Check with your local dog trainers, someone may offer a service to help you temperament test dogs when you go to the shelter. Most shelters now have animal behaviorists on staff, but I adopted a dog that had passed a shelter’s tests, and he never should have.
One person’s “dog doesn’t like …” is another person’s no problem. I once adopted a dog and was told she couldn’t be placed in a home with men because she didn’t like them. In the 8 years I had her, there were only two men she didn’t like. I think she didn’t like loud people. Oddly, same dog I was told loved children. Not so much. She adored little girls, but was always a little iffy about boys.
I now have a dog I was given when she was 8 years old. She was retired from a working kennel, never been an indoor dog, and wasn’t housebroken. I absolutely adore this dog, couldn’t love her more if I had gotten her as a 6 week old puppy.
The only problem with an older dog is you don’t get to keep them very long.
I’m going to suggest for you an English Springer. Not a bench bred dog (show lines) but a field bred dog.
While I bought mine as a puppy here www.fasttrackspringers.com, you can easily get an older dog from a rescue. I did months worth of homework before choosing a breed, and more importantly a breeder. I wanted four things - brains and temperament, health and family loyalty.
I have had collies, labs, cocker spaniels, a boxer and huskies. (my mom has 7 dogs now and this is a light number - there were anywhere from 8-12 dogs in my home at one time growing up) By far and away, the smartest, sweetest and most docile of all have been the springers I have had, and the one I have now is the prize of my life.
From the moment we brought her home, she has just seamlessly taken to our family. She picks up new commands in 2-3 tries, she is SMART and FOCUSED. Even as a baby she was also completely malleable and docile, and willing to do whatever I wanted.
I had surgery when she was 10 weeks old, she spent my entire recovery laying by my side sleeping. When I would hobble up and down the stairs, she was ‘hobbling’ along with me, taking one stair at a time. “heel” was almost inbred into her, she typically walks right behind me ocassionally bumping the back of my leg with her nose to let me know she is right there. When I found out I was having another surgery, I taught her (in three 5 minute sessions!) to close the door for me, open and close drawers for me, and bring me objects on command.
Don’t get me wrong - she loves to play! When you say it is play time she will be thrilled. She loves to retrieve, she loves to run. But if you put your hand out and say “calm down” she lays down on your feet and she is done.
Also, she is QUIET and this is a springer trait. She does not bark. She will whine a little for a few minutes after I crate her if she knows we are leaving. If she REALLLY gets into playing with something and the kids are being wild with her, she might bark once or twice out of joy. But she does not bark at ALL 99.9% of the time. Not at other dogs, not at anything.
These dogs are completely focused on their people. It does not matter what she is doing (including eating) - if I walk out of the room she is right by my side. If I am sitting down she is laying on the floor next to me or if possible laying on my feet. She hates her dog bed because it is several feet away from me. She will go to it on command and lay down, but subsequently “ooze” out of it until she is on my feet.
My husband was very angry when I told him I wanted to spend money buying a pup, he thought I could get a dog essentially for free from a rescue or the pound. Now, he tells anyone who will listen about our dog and where we got her.
Springers will give you their heart for life, and nothing will ever matter to them more than their people. If you want videos of an awesome dog to see what I am talking about, PM me.
[QUOTE=wendy;5904775]
well, true. But we HAVE “breeds” because we want something that is predictable. To deny that breeds have tendencies towards particular patterns of behavior is just as foolish as denying that they have tendencies towards particular sizes or looks. Yeah, you can find larger-than-average chihuahuas, and more-aggressive-than-average goldens, and non-child-tolerant Leonbergers, but if you’re setting out looking for a dog with a particular set of characteristics (which I really hope everyone does), deliberately looking for a Ridgeback that doesn’t have the “average” Ridgeback temperament, or looking for a non-nippy Sheltie seems kind of counter-productive. Sure, you could find such a dog. But why spend the time looking for the unusual? if you accidentally stumble across such a dog, ok fine, go with it.[/QUOTE]
Define “average”? I am not a breed snob, a good dog is a good dog, regardless of breeding. I wouldn’t own a Lab or a Golden Retriever if you paid me, but I wouldn’t tell people not to get one & they’re supposedly good family dogs. I own a German Shepherd too, also one of those “scary, not for the general public” breeds, he’s the smartest, gentlest dog I have ever known. I have had multiple dogs of the same breed (Ridgies) be awesome family dogs, so my “average” is pretty good. I’m sure I must be doing something right, but credit has to go to the dog too. They are intelligent, independent and sometimes willful dogs…this is where TRAINING comes in. I belong to a RR breed organization and meet MANY people who have these dogs that have kids & cats and horses and busy lifestyles and they still have great family dogs. The key is training, whether you have a Golden, a Poodle, a Boxer or whatever. Some breeds are more idiot proof, that’s for sure, but to offhand dismiss a breed as not family friendly is not fair to the prospective owners, the breed or the individual dog.
[QUOTE=Tommy’s Girl;5904961]
Flash,
The only puppy I’ve adopted was the shep mix (she’s now 12), and honestly, I wont do that again. Too much work/pairs of shoes etc. I also like adopting less adoptable ones. The beagle was only 11 months, but had languished first in an unheated, outdoor kennel at his former home, then 5 months at the ASPCA. I had to help him.
Good luck on your search, and let me know if I can help.[/QUOTE]
I agree with this on multiple levels. I adore my six year old German Shepherd, but he was the last puppy I will ever own. I had forgotten how much work it was. 
Last year I lost my beloved 8 year old Ridgeback, Nasibu to cancer. I am not a touchy feely, weepy, talk about my emotions type at all but I was literally heartbroken. I knew I didn’t want another puppy, all the current RR rescue dogs were unsuitable for different reasons, so when I got a call about a four year old RR languishing in a shelter, I went out and got him. He had been there for three months and was simply not adoptable, not due to any breed issues but due to his fear issues, which i believe are 100 percent attributable to abuse and non socialization. Being in the shelter with all the noise and activity was just too much for him. I truly felt that we were his only shot at a home. In the year we’ve had him, he has changed so much, he’s a very sweet, sensitive soul who wants to please. He can still be bullish at times and unpredictable when startled, but he’s a work in progress, in the meantime…I manage his environment to make sure that his experiences are positive and I feel that he was meant to be ours.
Crown Royal, those are two beautiful collies. My last collie, I bought as a pup. My current collie is a rescue (1 1/2 yr). I don’t miss puppy training at all, and she can still be very puppy like. Nothing like a collie, is there?
Chism, it sounds like she want an idiot proof dog, and you have to admit, some breeds can be less idiot proof than others!
[QUOTE=LauraKY;5905566]
it sounds like she want an idiot proof dog, and you have to admit, some breeds can be less idiot proof than others![/QUOTE]
LOL yeah and the scary thing is I’m more worried about hubby than the kids!! :lol:
He’s the biggest mush there is, but can be timid with dogs, is not good with boundaries, training, or any of that stuff. I’m the stickler, with both the kids and the animals, around here…
