Another EDS rider in her 30’s here. I get lots of tightness and spasming in my muscles since my connective tissue doesn’t stabilize my joints effectively. My psoas muscles (attach lower back to your hips and legs) are constantly tight and pull my pelvis into an anterior tilt. My adductor and quads also stay tight. My anterior pelvic tilt locks my shoulders into place and then I straighten my arms to try to gain stability and strength since the whole skeletal ‘chain’ isn’t moving and adjusting with the ride.
Stretching is a double edged sword for us and PT has been SO helpful because I learned which areas to lengthen and which areas to strengthen. It did not feel intuitive at first and it’s a life-long journey, for sure.
Edited to fix a typo.
Nope. I still say the saddle isn’t a good fit for you. The dressage saddle is putting you in a ‘chair seat.’ It limits your ability to give aids to your horse.
I’d like to see you drop your stirrups and let your legs hang naturally, and scoot your buns under you, to the center of the saddle. I get that riding without stirrups on a green horse is impossible, but see how it feels to just walk him around like that, for a few minutes.
Yes! My straight elbows I believe come from instability from my shoulder. It’s hard, physically, to do. But I’m determined.
I do really need to seem PT. Sometimes I do feel like certain exercises do more harm than good. It’s hard to know what to do!
It always feels like most saddles out me in some form of a chair seat though. So sometimes I wonder how much of it is me!
I do plan on getting something more custom made for me (and that fits my horse of course) in a year or two.
I can definitely do at least some walk or trot towards the end of the ride without stirrups.
I do not have EDS but I do have hyper flexible joints. I had a long break from riding due to a lame horse and when I came back to riding it was a struggle with my position and I was pretty painful. My main piece of advice is quality over quantity. It takes time to retrain your body you have to focus on one thing at a time until it becomes second nature. I had rides where I only walked or I only trotted one circle because that was all I could do well. It took months but my position is so much better.
For example almost every single picture your foot is too far in the stirrup. Just working on two point wont fix that. You need to go to a walk or a halt and reposition your feet further back. If you can only go 5 steps then your foot slips forward stop and fix the stirrup again. I can guarantee it’s boring and will feel frustrating at times but by taking your time you’ll be much stronger.
It can really help to have a trainer who is on board with the slow and correct method so you can have someone correcting you and reminding you from the ground.
Here’s a pic of my before-I struggle with my back and shoulders the most
Here’s after about 6 months. It’s not perfect by any means but I went from hurting after a few min of trot to being strong enough to canter, jump and ride for much longer. It’s not as hard to keep my back flatter and my shoulders back.
I rode a Hennig once that put me in the worst chair seat. We couldn’t figure out why the horse was ignoring the aids … well, he couldn’t respond to what he couldn’t feel!
I do feel like I haven’t been able to focus enough on my position lately, it’s tough having a young horse. He’s mostly a good boy though so there are moments I can focus a bit more on me!
I agree it looks like your stirrups are too far back. You look very tense. You can find the spot on the ball of your foot if someone taps the sole of your boot. The BO where I boarded for 20 years was a certified Centered Riding instructor. I didn’t qualify as a re-rider because I didn’t spend enough time riding as kid/teenager. I thought CR was just some trademarked gimmick until I realized it is classical riding.
I found body images helped me improve my overall skills. I steer with my belly button and pay attention to my where my seat bones are in the saddle. Following the horse’s motion and developing softness made the difference. If I stand up and sit down I can find that spot where your seat bones should be. Standing in the stirrups at the walk and trot helped me with balance and strengthening my core. Find someone to lead your horse around the arena while you have your eyes closed and your feet hanging loose. You can feel how the horse moves and how your body responds. Your arms hang from your shoulders and you should have a straight line from your elbow to the bit. If you “blow out the candles” in a transition you have to breathe. Your legs will be soft and you won’t pinch the horse if they hang from your pelvis. When you loosen up your horse relaxes and you get things like the head on the vertical. I watched one rider loosen up and the horse visibly dropped his hindquarters and stepped under. She is the only one who can do that. She learned to ride somewhere else. The rest of them are so tight that they block the horse’s movement. They totally waste the nice big push from behind when they transition to the posting trot.
I’ve had to retire my horse from riding. I have a 20 minute video of my last lesson with Susan Harris so I can still enjoy riding. The more I watch the video and the riders at the barn the more apparent it is that they are stiff as boards. Watch the pelvis and you can pick out the ones that move in concert with the horse. No bounce at the canter. When you focus on muscles and weight in the stirrups you are blocking his body. Think about lengthening the back of your leg not pushing weight into the stirrups.
Yeah I’m totally stuff and tense. Part of it is the dang EDS, it really messes with your body. But part of it is me trying too hard to fix my position. Which does the opposite. I’ve joked that I almost need to pretend that I’m a loose cowboy. Or a kid riding their pony bareback without a care in the word.
I do have Sally Swift’s book, I’ll have to check it out again.
No idea why my stirrups are an issue now. It never used to be but I’ll play around with correcting it more.
Tomorrow I am riding in the new jump saddle (because I need to try a new girth anyways.) I’m going to try and be conscious of mainly my stirrups. And just go with the flow and just have fun. And I’ll do the same later this week in the dressage saddle too. I want to see what happens if I don’t try so hard 
I see a saddle with a flap that is too long for OP with blocks in the wrong place for her thigh. The flap ends nearly at the ankle with her current leg length and I’d bet the block is what’s pushing her knees up. Combine that with riding a push type horse, and it’s no wonder OP feels scrunched up!
Yes I really need a short flap. Next saddle, I hope to invest in something more appropriate for me. I’m 5’2".
The five blocks are movable though… So I could experiment with that.
Understandable. I’m 5’7" and had to order a short flap 
but I’m riding a 14.1h barrel shaped pony. I spend a lot of time thinking about keeping my toes forward.
Maybe try moving the block up as far as it will go… and you may need a shorter block if they sell them for your saddle. In the pics it looks like your knee is hitting the block a bit high and that might be what’s pulling your leg upwards.
Also agree. Seat size also too big so stirrup bars are too far forward for you. There’s no way you can get your leg under you even if you wanted to. The jump saddle picture with you in the blue jacket is good because the saddle fits you much better. And you are bending your elbows. Keep on doing that. 
I recently got a set of stirrups that have a wider base and found that to be more comfortable for all of my leg joints. Here are some stills from a recent ride. You can definitely see my heels down but also up when I’m asking for something, which is a lot of time with a green horse learning to balance. Keeping my wrists straight and my chest up are are constant battle.
Another thing that I have found that helps overall is core work. When my core was weaker, EVERYTHING suffered.
OP
First of all , I think you and your horse look pretty good.
The main problem I see is that your saddle is too small for you and you are always going to be struggling to keep the correct position.
You are having to tilt your pelvis down and pushing your seat bones back against the cantle.
This also pushes your shoulders ahead of the vertical.
It is going to be difficult to keep your heel under your hip.
As to the heel, forget the H/J hyperextended heel down. The heel only needs to be slightly lower than the toe .
The lack of bend in the elbow comes from the forward tilt of the shoulder. Especially in trot work.
You are putting your forearms down to help you balance.
And some of it , is also using your shoulders and hands to shorten and lengthen the reins.
It is the fingers that shorten and lengthen the reins.
If you feel you ride better without stirrups then it mostly likely that the stirrup bars are too far forward, and the flaps are too straight.
One exercise you might try is to drop your stirrups at the walk, and work on positioning your thigh so that from hip to knee it is flat against the saddle.
After you’ve walked a few steps, try putting your feet in the stirrups just using your toes. If you can do it easily, your stirrups are the correct length.
Of course only do this , if you feel safe and can trust your horse
I think if you can get a lesson on the lunge it would be most helpful as you can concentrate on yourself.
I totally get the financial situation. Even used saddles are expensive and most of us don’t have the luxury of buying a new saddle without selling the current one first.
But in the meantime, you may be able to try out different saddles so that you can figure out what works best for you and your horse.
I hope this helps.
@Lunabear1988 How do you feel your position is at the sitting trot vs the posting trot? For me, (hypermobile and tight in some places) I feel like I can work on my position more in the sitting trot. I can balance and work on moving with the horse. I get forward and revert back to H/J forward seat in the posting trot. Shoulders lock, pelvis falls forward, arms straighten. Our bodies are so interesting, eh?!
About your foot in the stirrup- I would just make sure you’re riding on the ball of your foot and then not focus too much on heals down. Do you have flat feet along with your EDS? If so, you don’t have that “leaf spring” shock absorber in the arch of your foot to absorb a bounce when your heel is down.
I am a little confused about a few people saying the saddle us too small! Ha ha. Although I understand why people are saying that but I think it’s just the pictures. It’s because I sit towards the back of the saddle and then if my hands are below you can’t really tell where I’m sitting. If I’m sitting where I’m supposed to in the middle of the saddle or at least not so near the cantle, I can fit a full hand behind my bum. It’s a 17.5 inch saddle and I’m 5’2" (although my license says 5’1") and 110 lbs. So I would think an 18-in saddle would be too much? That’s the opinion of the saddle fitter anyways.
I’m going to try and get some photos of me sitting at the halt with my hands in a correct positions to see.
Regardless, I can see that the saddle isn’t an ideal one for me. Unfortunately we are in this one for at least a year so I got to do my best with it. But I’ve had lots of good suggestions to work on other things!! I’m going to ride today so I’ll see what happens.
