I had someone tell me it wasn’t abuse because the victim continued to sleep with him after he became an adult. That’s like saying spouses who are abused and don’t leave aren’t really abused because they are adults and could leave. It’s amazing the mental gyrations people are going through to justify his behavior. It wasn’t a different time. I grew up in that time, child predation was neither legal nor accepted. If GM surrounded himself with like minded people that doesn’t make it legal any more than belonging to a gang that deals in drugs, death, robbery, and violence makes drug dealing, murder, robbery and violence okay because you have friends who also do it.
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I would agree. I don’t think lack of “see something, say something” is the problem in the horse world. People have no problem saying something, often to the point of hyperbole and nastiness.
The problem is the industry on the whole doesn’t care about what is said. :no: Possibly because so much gets tossed around, it can be hard to separate the fact from the fiction.
The part I don’t get is how everyone can act so shocked when the whispers that have existed for decades result in disciplinary action. The blind hero worship in our sport is mind-boggling.
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MVP and Figment: good posts. 'Joy Sucking Proposition". That is exactly what this world is all about.
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The theory is that it was the email list from Phelps Media, which sent out the statement.
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Slightly off topic. Then again, maybe not. Breaking news. https://www.nytimes.com/2019/08/10/nyregion/jeffrey-epstein-suicide.html?campaign_id=60&instance_id=0&segment_id=16047&user_id=96187953574df1ac0fb33785a24392c9®i_id=94911365ing-news
mvp I have seen some people savvy out it was possibly Phelps Media that provided the list. Someone got the email on an account they used for non-USEF communications
PDS THANK YOU for linking that difficult to look at article. Same era / timeline that is being discussed here. Same Same Same
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yes all sort of ugly is going to come out from this, however, its death probably took a lot of secrets we will never know about , too
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Every time I see a woman say she is more afraid for her son than her daughter, I understand how we got here. And how bad it will continue to be.
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I am not saying that is any sort of loss. At all. In the slightest.
I just wonder how that happened, since it seems like he should have been on a suicide watch following a previous attempt not too long ago. I’m sure the conspiracy theorists will have a field day with this.
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Disclosure is not impossible. As I wrote above, this is an optional hobby. No grown- ass adult is a victim of trainers setting this or that shady or unfair set of terms for them. They can walk. I think the answer, one that has worked pretty well for me so far, is to let it be known to those around them that you, for one, don’t play that way. Anyone, especially a kid, looking for a trustworthy adult to come ask for help should know that they can come to you.
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It wasn’t the USEF list. I’m a member and it was not sent to my email address attached to that account.
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See, this is the thing I don’t get. With friends like that, who needs enemies? I have never understood the pay-off for looking the other way while someone who is substantially like you (usually, a client) gets screwed. What happens when it’s your turn?
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So can anyone who feels like paying buy Phelps’ e-mails list and do their own direct advertising?
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Friends like that are not your friends. That word is used too easily, imo.
Facebook has not helped with this. It has cheapened the word.
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@McGurk we seem to agree 100%. It doesn’t help that the poster I was quoting edited their original post.
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One more time, for everyone in the back. Bolding of the font is mine.
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Exactly. So I ask again: What is the pay-off to standing by idly when the family with the horse in the stall next to yours gets screwed? I mean, you’ll feel bad for them. You will go to the barn every day and smile at them and smile at the pro. Why?
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You know, it’s easy to say “you should speak out” but when you’re a powerless nobody and the perp is someone with money and power and attractiveness, it’s not all that easy. You’ve seen the viciousness with which victims who speak out are attacked on social media. What about when the attackers would be your friends and neighbors, your barnmates, the people who take care of your horse? Maybe your child’s trainer is involved in deals with the person you would be speaking out against? These people know where you live. They can hurt you or those you love.
We’ve heard that someone’s in-laws were threatened. I remember my trainer telling me literally that he was lucky to get out of Chicago with his life during the 1970’s. I’ve known people myself in this business that I felt were capable of doing absolutely anything to protect their way of life.
It’s also easy to “know” something about someone. Being able to prove it is something else again. Finding someone who would listen might be even harder.
It’s really easy to take the high moral ground and tell others they should speak up. In the real world, it might not be so simple.
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I think this sport, like many others have a certain population of insecure people who are easily led.
mvp here I will disagree with you. I think it is very easy that some adults get led into situations which they do not see, do not understand or do not know how to cope with. There is a certain population who are psychologically insecure and unable to understand others( at least slow on the uptake)
they are easy prey to other adults who fluff them up, make them feel accomplished and lead them along keeping them “safe”
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To put it bluntly, imo most people are sheep. They are afraid of standing out in the crowd. Or they are afraid of losing something - acceptance, stature, anonymity, or a thousand other things.
In order to speak up, you have to accept that people may not like you. Not many people don’t give a flip what others think. It’s hard.
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