So, she always gives you plenty of notice, but this one time she only gave you 2 days notice? Perhaps she just forgot? Perhaps she was also busy getting ready for Thanksgiving? Everyone makes mistakes occasionally.
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Definitely seeing two issues here. Grain thing I stand behind my previous position.
The relationship thing is different. Your role has indeed changed, so thereās that, but if the rules are different for you than for the other boarders in your same āstatusā that is a potential problem. If your dog is truly well behaved and has never (not even once) caused a problem, then that sudden change seems strange. Not something to fight over (dogs are such a huge liability in general), but if thereās a growing list of issues in your head it might be time to consider a change.
Whether these instances of different treatment (from the past and from other people) are truly worth leaving over is up to you, but youāre most likely going to have to decide if you can adjust your habits and thinking and ālet it goā or if you need a fresh start somewhere else, no hard feelings. Itās worth sitting down and thinking about!
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Does your barn owner get her feed delivered from the feed store? If so figure out how much your horse is eating, how long that will last, and do a standing order with that feed store so your feed will be delivered with hers.
OR - do like I do and order from Chewy and have it delivered to the barn. Now I realize some of the feed from Chewy is pretty expensive but the ration balancer I order is not - it helps me immensely to get feed delivered because the only store that carries ration balancer is 45 minutes from my house and the only time I can go to that feed store is Saturday morning. Sometimes I just canāt commit Saturday morning to go buy one bag of feed. And if I am running low I can move up my autoship. I do have my horses at home so I know when I am getting low way ahead of time.
You should be keeping an eye on your own grain supply. Once itās halfway, just go buy another bag.
The relationship part sounds like you both have a bunch going on.
The different rules are kinda strange, but maybe your dog did something while there or got a complaint. Who knowsā¦ did she give you a reason??
Yes - this would be my bigger concern, that the barn owner wasnāt actually feeding appropriately. So I would figure it out and buy when there wereā¦I donāt knowā¦2 days left. But Iād be checking it regularly to see that it looks like itās being fed according to the schedule.
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I board at a barn where weāre responsible for providing our own grain. In theory, the BM has said sheāll give a heads up when she refills grain bin with the last bag of grain in the storage room. However, this was a verbal commitment and not something written into the boarding contract, so it doesnāt always happen.
Itās our responsibility as boarders to keep track - any advance notice from BM is more a courtesy than an obligation. Iāve taken to weighing my horseās AM + PM grain into gallon baggies. He gets 5lbs a day, so a 50lb grain bag should last me 10 days.
This way I can be very exact about the portions, maximize my feed budget and be absolutely certain that heās getting exactly what heās supposed to. I mark the day on my calendar that baggies will need to be refilled. If theyāre not all gone on that day, I know something isnāt right.
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I agree that itās the boarderās job to keep track of any grain, supplement or medication that she herself pays for and delivers to the barn. I wouldnāt expect notification of any kind if the horse was my own.
Of course. People take extra care with their own animals. No surprise there. Why expect an owner to extend this extra care to horses that belong to other people? I donāt quite get that.
IOW, OP, I donāt think your BO is āshunningā you. I think sheās being professional, while youāre expecting special treatment that really isnāt warranted under the new conditions.
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As a boarder who has provided their own grain before, I never expected the BO to tell me when I was low or out. Itās my grain and my responsibility. If youāre not out at the barn regularly enough to look in the bin, you should keep track based on how much theyāre getting fed by weight and how long x number of bags is expected to last.
As a barn owner who always had boarders that provided their own grain and hay, I told people as a curtesy because I had a small group with max eight horses. However, I only gave one notice of how many days I estimate is remaining. I did not remind after a few days, nor did I remind when they actually ran out. If they ran out, they ran out. A BO is not your assistant. Habitual offenders that let their horses run out of feed whether or not I sent a notice, I required they either had to switch to full board, or leave my farm.
All other BOs I know personally do not send a notice at all.
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Also a boarder who pays for stall cleaning and feeding and turnout at a lovely facility but I provide my own grain, hay , shavings and supplements. I know exactly how much hay how much feed and how many bags of bedding I go through weekly. I always buy ahead and make sure my horse is well supplied. Sorry OP ā¦. Personal issues with your friend aside this is on you.
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Iāve only been at one barn where they let me know if I was low or out of grain. It would be nice to be notified for sure but itās my responsibility to make sure heās stocked.
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In my current situation, I care for about 36 boarded horses, with each having 1-5 supplements and/or meds, and five eating their own grain. There are 70 different supplements/meds in my feed room, plus 12 feeds (7 of which I order for the barn). I do my best to send a text when they are running low, but honestly, with each horse getting different amounts of various different powders/pellets, itās not always immediately obvious when one is 7-10 days out like it is when they are 2-3 days out from being empty. I also donāt feel that it is my responsibility to manage their supplement (or grain) supply- I am happy to feed whatever they like, but managing 85+ product inventories is unreasonable in addition to everything else a BO/BM does. Part of the benefit of using the farm-supplied grain is that they never have to worry about running out- beyond that, I can only take so much responsibility.
Also- I have spent plenty of time as a boarder myself, and never expected to be notified of low grain or supplements. It is very easy to calculate how much your horse consumes daily and set a reminder in your calendar. As others have mentioned, this is also handy because it can help you identify feeding errors (which do happen!). My horse, my responsibility.
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This is Thanksgiving weekend in Canada.
OP, I supply my own feed at the farm Iām at, and make sure to check my supply every couple of days Iām at the barn. Itās been working quite well. I usually make sure to pick up another bag about a week out, just in case life gets in the way.
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It is your horse. If you are not paying full board, you are responsible for making sure the horse has its feed.
The BO is considerate to text you at all.
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Calculate how many pounds your horse gets per day. Use that to figure out how many bags heāll need per week or per month and keep an extra bag or two on hand just in case. Thatās what I do with my two horses.
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As to the other issue- at my last barn I found that the owner kept coming up with rules to gradually make things more difficult for me specifically. She clearly wanted me out without telling me, so I left.
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Definately paying full board hereā¦ its only recently that she hasnāt been giving me much notice, sheās always texted when im low on grain so I get what everyone is sayingā¦ but thatās always the way its been lol 
I donāt get it. Pretty much every person replying to you has agreed that the BO is in the right.
What is it you want to hear, exactly?
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Your BO was going above and beyond. It sucks when youāve become accustomed to something Iike this and it changes. It makes it hard for you to readjust, especially without much warning. But echoing everyone else, itās widely expected that boarders keep tabs on their own feed supply when providing their own.
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Well, her response was to someone saying āif youāre not paying full board, itās your responsibility.ā
OP - in my world, āfull boardā includes grain, and the responsibility for monitoring and purchasing grain is the BOās, not the boarder. Does your barn offer grain but you choose another grain, at your own expense? Or do all boarders have to supply grain (if so, I would say you are not paying āfull boardā.)
Either way - if the BO is not going to purchase the grain for you, I would just tell them the schedule you plan to buy it and just do that. It should not change from bag to bagā¦itās either every [one bag every X days] or they a) fed another horse with your grain; or b) didnāt feed your horse enough.
And Iād have an issue with both.
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Itās not full board if youāre supplying your own grain.
Regardless if she should have or shouldnāt have, learn the lesson. Keep track of your own grain.
It is your horse. Therefore, it is your problem.
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