I’m a person with good enough social skills and emotional intelligence, who has spent a lot of time in volunteer groups, clubs, and group workplace situations. But I’m also pretty self contained and maybe a bit antisocial. I have a true horror of time-wasting people at the barn which includes the needy, the complainers, and the random advice givers. I have several real friends at the barn, but the rest I don’t engage deeply with.
However, I realize most women are socialized to take more responsibility for other people’s feelings than I do, and can have quite elaborate meet and greet rituals, and also find it hard to walk away from a conversation without feeling rude. Many women think of themselves as Nice People, at least on the surface, and feel guilty if they act in ways that don’t perform Being Nice.
So a needy annoying person in a barn full of people who have let their guard down and are being nice to each other can indeed be like having a really bad choice guest at an otherwise delightful dinner party… every night of the week.
For me, it’s not so much the stupid advice as the needy, tone deaf attempts to start conversations. I’m on the governance team for our club, but try to keep that part out of daily barn life. So some things that can potentially push my buttons are the folks that complain nonstop about the infrastructure or start interpersonal drama. That’s because those are things that could legitimately be demands on my attention, we need to know if the roof is leaking or the drains are backing up or Susie is letting her horse loose in the indoor, but I don’t need a constant stream of whining about life.
Unsolicited advice from newbies to experienced people isn’t that common here. I did have the pleasure of meeting a lower intermediate level rider here and being highly amused that she was being patronizing to me. There’s a point for upper beginners were they don’t know what they don’t know.
I am guessing that the problem with the OPs boarder is that she is intrusive, doesn’t build relationships, doesn’t recognize context, and is just talking to get attention like a toddler that keeps asking “what’s that? Why?” because he has learned adults will engage with direct questions. I expect the boarder would be equally annoying if she stood there and told you inane anecdotes and lies about her own horse.
Stupid barn advice about your own horse is annoying because it is calculated to engage you on the thing you most care about at a point you are trapped in the barn. Very often the advisor will sense when you are tired, frustrated, or dealing with a real issue and come latch onto you then. And that’s when advice can sound like criticism, and even if you think the advice is stupid, deflecting criticism when your defenses are down takes energy you may not have.
Needy people with poor social skills are so used to rebuttal that they have stopped reading subtle clues in reception.
Im not sure what to tell OP. The barn environment may adjust, people may begin to deflect her better. She may mellow as she settles in. She may also turn out to be seriously craycray in some way.
I find that barn rules directed at a whole group that are meant to handle one problem person to be very annoying and also ineffective because problem person never recognizes themselves in the rule.
And @eightpondfarm I totally admire your ability to stay focused in emergencies and crowded situations. But with all due respect, you’ve self identified in other posts as on the autism spectrum which can be a huge advantage in some ways 
because you don’t seem to feel the overwhelming need to caretake the feelings of every.single.person in your radius.
Never underestimate the way most women feel they are responsible to caretake every body and can’t risk offending anyone. I mean, in worst case scenarios women get assaulted and even murdered because they were afraid to stop being pleasant.
The OP here indeed shares the feeling that it’s her responsibility to curate the emotional and social tone of the barn, that her adult boarders cant negotiate these things, and that she’s as responsible for bores and annoying guests as if she was hostess of a cocktail party.
It’s hard to offer a concrete plan of action without knowing and seeing the barn environment IRL. People may be able to freeze her out or integrate her more constructively and she may adapt. Or she may reveal herself to be obstructionist and confrontational. I would give it a few weeks at least to monitor.
