I lost my boy two days ago to colic I’m devastated beyond belief. If it’s at all possible I think I could die from a broken heart. He was 21. Fine at 5.30 am. Got a phone call at work at 7.30 am to say he was showing signs of colic
Vet came and at first he thought not too bad but his condition deteriorated. He had a displacement whatever that means. He said he wasn’t happy with the fact he couldn’t hear anything and he felt the intestines had stopped working.
We discussed surgery but he did make it clear that he may not survive and the journey to the vets (45 minutes away) would have stressed him even more. I think he would have gone down in the box and I hate to think of the added damage he would have caused himself.
I had to make the decision to ease his pain and this for any horse owner is not something we consider lightly.
He would have hated being stuck in his stable for months post op , watching his friends out in the fields with the sun on their backs.
He would have been so so sore and confused. I couldn’t put him through that just so I could see his beautiful face over that door for a bit longer. I would have been selfish. I would have put him through that for MY benefit.
I did it because I loved him. I have found so many replies on here that have helped immensely. I’m sorry for you all that have lost their best friend. Take comfort in the fact that you gave him the best life and he knew that.
Sadly there are horses out there that don’t get the chance to having a loving home and die alone, in pain or starving .I’d save them all if I could. I like to think I saved my boy while he was with me. Love to you all xx
I’ve had to make the same “surgery/no surgery” decision myself twice in my life. I don’t wish it on ANYONE.
I let my TB go without surgery - his stomach had ruptured and he was starting to go septic at the hospital. Vets didn’t think he’d survive anesthesia let alone the surgery. And I knew first hand how much he hated stall rest for a day, let alone the months he would have been inside following abdominal surgery. I figured the kindest thing I could for him after seven wonderful years together was to give him a quick end. Zero regrets.
My WB gelding had a cecal impaction and he did get surgery. Thankfully he survived that and the following incisional infection…and extended stall rest. I questioned my decision every damned day during his rehab because it was so hard on him. He’s back better than ever now, but I promised him he wouldn’t have to go through a year of hell like that ever again.
You made the right decision for you and your horse. Don’t second guess a kind end, ever. gentle hugs
Oh, OP. So many big fat hugs.
Please don’t beat yourself up. The prognosis was not good to begin with, and I’ve taken care of horses that have had colic surgery. They often colic again, and the first year is very difficult. After taking care of horses with these types of surgery, I would be very hard pressed to put my own through it.
It sounds like Buddy was well loved AND well cared for. The only thing better a horse can ask for is a dignified end - which you provided, to the best of your abilities.
Take care. You did the right thing.
I know this is an old thread, but wanted to let all who posted know how much it has helped me. I’m having to let my mare go (the Reba in PamnReba), not for colic, but for neuro reasons. No one knows what is wrong with her, and I could spend a small fortune trying to find out and may still not have an answer. But whatever it is, she needs to be released from it as it is damaging her as much mentally as it is physically. It has taken me longer than it should have to come to this decision, but the signs are clear that she’s not doing well and I suspect feeling far worse than she is letting me know about. I have taken a lot of comfort in knowing that my job is to take the best care of her I can, and that does not mean prolonging her life just because I don’t want her to go. The vet will be here Friday to send her over, and I’m worried that it will not go well. Could use some good wishes for an easy and peaceful transition, but most of all a gentle release and freedom for her.
Hugs to you. These are always tough decisions. I had to make one last summer also for neuro reasons, but I was fortunate to have a “suspected” diagnosis that was supported by necropsy. In my case the horse had problems in his face/ears/upper neck as well as hind end. It was a fairly rare disease called polyneuritis equi, degenerative and no treatment.
Your kind heart comes through in your words. Sending you not only good wishes, but a hug from someone who had to make the same decision not so long ago. 
I have not had to make that difficult decision, but I will say that for 2 of my 3 I have already mentally made the choice. One is 38. He will not be put through a surgery that in all likely hood he would have issues recovering from (heaves, heart murmur). The 13 year old is an AWFUL stall rest patient. He becomes dangerous to himself and those that have to handle / treat him. I have to work around this quirk. It makes minor injuries take longer to heal, but it is what it is. The 9 year seems to be okay with stall rest (the short bit he has had to endure for minor things here and there.), but I’m not sure if I would go through with the surgery anyway.
I’m sorry that you are feeling guilty about the decision you made. Be sure to look at it as a decision you made that was the best choice at that time with the facts at hand: money, time, health, etc. They all play a role in what we can and can’t do. Grieve for the loss, but don’t get bound by the guilt.
I am so very sorry that you had to make the surgery vs no surgery option. I teared up while reading your post because while I haven’t had to euthanize one due to colic, I had to euthanize a few that would have required major surgery with awful odds for a recovery.
Give yourself grace, you made the right decision.
You could have sent him for surgery and have them open him up and find that there was no repair possible. You could have had the surgery done and have him founded a few weeks later.
Horses don’t understand why they’re in pain and can’t comprehend being on stall rest or in severe pain for weeks but knowing it will get better and they will heal.
First one was a mare that completely tore her collateral ligaments around the coffin bone. The whole coffin bone had floated and the hoof remodeled in a days. It was a 12,000 surgery and a year of stall rest to pray she made a recovery. I couldn’t put her through it. All she would be thinking for a year is how unhappy she was and why she was locked in her stall. She would never be able to rationalize the pain.
Other one was a mare went into labor with presentation of a head and one leg. Other leg was back at the shoulder and could barely even touch the point of the shoulder. Foal had already passed and it would have been a $10,000 surgery and pray the foal hasn’t put its leg through her uterus and pray she have a recovery plus months of stall rest. She was an edgy high energy mare that lived her whole life outside. Doing major surgery and then trapping her in a stall would have been torture for her and I didn’t want to see her like that.
Humane euthanasia is NEVER the wrong answer. In fact, it is a very compassionate choice. You did the right thing by your horse, be at peace knowing he is not in pain anymore.
Our vet of 19-1/2 years fully retired in April 2020 after 50 years in practice. He is 80 this year. He has given us two wonderful books.
The most recent came out a couple of months ago. It is called Goodbye Old Friend: the Euthanasia of Your Horse. David Jefferson, DVM. Available on Amazon.
He couldn’t find a book on euthanasia that has everything in one place. It is about 75 pages. I read it in two evenings. Then I thought about it for a few minutes. I’m picking random chapters and reading a couple at a time. My horse is 27. I thought I had done a pretty good job preparing for the inevitable but there are some things that need more thought.
His other book is called Maine Horse Doctor. It is a collection of columns he wrote for The Horse’s Maine. You can learn more from this book than any typical horse care book.
Just a quick update, Reba is gone now and it went as well as something like this can go. Her transition was almost instant, and none of her neurological issues surfaced at all. So it was the best it could be, quick and painless. I’m very sad, but also quite thankful and relieved - for both of us.
This is such a great post.
If I may say so, OP, it sounds like you’re actually blaming yourself for your thoughts (listening to your human partner, for instance) rather than considering what the alternative reality would really and truly have been for your horse: the pain and fear of the hospital. A slow, painful recovery - maybe. And maybe death, and maybe a greatly diminished, pain-filled old age thereafter.
I truly think you did the right thing. And I’m not saying that to make you feel better (I’m honestly not that nice) but because I do believe it from the bottom of my heart.
I’m sorry for your loss.
I’m so sorry. Hugs to you.
My vet says that when they let go that suddenly and easily, they were ready to be let go.
Sorry to resurrect this thread, but I want to also thank so many commenters on this thread as I am going through a similar situation and feelings. It really helps to read so many say the same thing I was thinking when I had to make the literal life or death decision: that surgery is just the beginning of the what-if’s, that recovery is not certain or easy. I only wish I had known he had a twist before I made him take the trailer ride to the clinic and didn’t get to say good-bye. He was grazing before we loaded him and passed manure the whole trailer ride, so I thought we’d just be picking him up in the morning after a night of observation. What I am trying to believe when I’m feeling at my worst is that it was a terrible thing that happened, not a terrible thing that I did.
