Unlikely, but I thought of it. I initiated contact with my my new trainer weeks before the communication stopped and the new trainer doesn’t seem remotely the type to do something like that. I have not met anyone else at the new barn yet for them to know where/who I am coming from.
This could happen with someone who ‘doesn’t seem remotely the type’ as a simple no harm conversation, unless you told your new trainer to specifically not tell your old trainer you were shopping around.
Does the new trainer know where you were riding?
It could have been as simple as them running into each other at the feed store and having some chatty conversation (because they know each other) and the new trainer saying “Alternate Universe is doing great in her lessons at my place, she is going to be a great add to our program” or “Alternate Universe said she hacks Dobbin at your place”, etc.
The horse world is smaller than we think. Nothing is done in a vacuum.
In the big picture it seems like this whole situation is turning into a big deal to you when it probably should not. You told this trainer you were done with her program. At this point she has no need to communicate with you since your only communication before was about lesson times and when you would put rides on her horse.
The trainer is not wrong for not responding here. A response would have been nice. But they are certainly not wrong.
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I know why. It’s COTH and that’s what people here frequently do.
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It was. The OP said as much.
She said in post #14 that she sent other [unanswered] text(s) between when the trainer texted her to cancel and when OP texted the trainer to say she was switching lesson programs.
Although I don’t think it matters at this point, but…did your texts actually include a question? Sometimes clients text me a statement, and I don’t always respond. (Such as: “I switched Horsey to his fly sheet”) Mostly because I think the amount of texts I get is unneeded, and why respond to a statement? I always respond to a question…so if you want a response, then make sure you asked a question…and perhaps consider how often you text…maybe you were texting too much for the amount of benefit you were to the trainer? If she is older (like me), then texting can be a good thing, but over-texting can be annoying. We didn’t grow up in the instant communication generation!
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I understand you feeling confused and after having a lifetime to develop a thick skin I still would find this strange. The 12 seconds it takes to respond with a text to dissipate uneasiness on the part of an exiting client is common courtesy … which translates to good business practice. Even if it’s a message that’s tough to hear.
You’re not wondering why she’s not throwing you a going away picnic lunch. You just want some clarity around whether it’s cool to show up at her barn and ride. Totally reasonable.
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THANK YOU.
Seemed like half the people responding didn’t fully read my OP. I was never asking about the ethics/professionalism/communication style debate of not answering multiple texts. I just wanted to know if it was appropriate to continue showing up at her place! Eeesh.
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If the horse owner is OK with you riding the horse, then I’d ride the horse. The ball in the trainer’s court now.
I hope it all works out. Sometimes things turn out much better than we imagine they will. Good luck!
I would ask the horse owner to clarify with the trainer/BO that she wants you to continue to hack her horse.
Trainers are weird that way. I once left a barn (an amicable parting) the day before their annual Christmas party and was not invited to it. Same thing happened to a friend who had actually hosted the party at her house the year before.
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Agree with this totally. Trainer’s barn/trainer’s rules. I would not show up without at least trying to reach out one more time either by text or phone to the Trainer or at least to the horse owner to confirm that she’s ok’d it with the Trainer, now that you’re no longer a client.
In my barn, even existing clients/boarders are not allowed to ride other boarders’ horses without the Trainer’s “ok”.
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Well, just to wrap things up I ultimately decided not to continue hacking the horse. I had planned to eventually stop doing it by the end of the summer and fully transition to my new barn but after weighing the pros and cons I decided it made more sense to just stop now. Neither barn is particularly close to my house and I decided it wasn’t worth the gas money to keep driving that distance just to hack one horse that has proven to not be consistently sound. I updated the horse’s owner and she was 100% fine with it. I have already been offered other horses to ride outside of lessons at the new barn.
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As a trainer, I can tell you that sometimes texts get lost in the inbox. I can also tell you that I know my limits when it comes to instruction, and a trainer shouldn’t get offended when you decide to move up. I’d go about your business at the barn, and give her a call if you feel that you need to talk to her. We are busy as heck, and just because we don’t respond doesn’t mean we are sour!
You have effectively closed one book. You are now able to start writing another.
Some instructors get their knickers in a twist when they find they are losing a student. It makes them look foolish. Instructors do not own students. It is best to pass them on graciously, they then will sometimes return.
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THIIIIIIS. I mean, actually, it doesn’t matter who the trainer heard it from. OP fired her. Most people, when fired, turn cold and/or angry. It is to be expected.
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