C4
Don’t be so hard on yourself. You are not even a month out of surgery. Your situation was much worse than mine, and your surgery much more major. My doc orignally said 5 months, then gave in with 4. Even at 4 months, I just sat in the saddle–it was hard to get the leg across the cantle.
Give it time, keep up with the therapy, and use those painkillers when necessary.
Here’s a not so funny note…I had accumulated quite a lot of Percocet, cause the doc kept prescribing, and I just kept them in the medicine cabinet, cause you never know when you’re going to come off that horse and need something to take the edge off…my cleaning ladies stole them all, just left the empty bottles in the cabinet…I didn’t find out til just recently…they never touched any cash I left out as bait, or jewelry.