Mini-update on the past 3 days/rides:
Friday: lesson in the new scary indoor arena, no spooks but some looking (kept her busy/bent inside at this parts), she was very good but worked mostly on shoulder-ins so mostly walk/trot.
Saturday: lesson in outdoor, no spooks but we were both very stiff the whole ride. Again mostly shoulder-ins so mostly walk/trot. She spooked while we were walking out of the arena.
Sunday: solo ride with the goal to focus on getting my shoulders back/belly button out mostly with no stirrups (I’m in the process of converting from hunter seat to a ‘classic’ seat and it’s taking some work…). She was doing great, very relaxed and it felt like we were finally clicking as she requires a very ‘correct’ ride to be her best (which is why I am leasing her as she was always the most difficult for me before). We took a walk break and she did a big spook at the jumps we had already passed ten times. I nearly fell off but no problem, we went back to work and focused on her this time and collection/extension. She finished very good. I turned her out in the small arena and she started scratching her privates on a pole (which I had seen her do the week before too, but on a gate and her blanket got stuck so I had to help her out). Asked the trainer what was up, he said it was from being dewormed 2-3 weeks ago. OK. Took her out to graze, big spook at a kid that was running up from the distance. OK.
So I talked to the head trainer and basically asked what is considered ‘normal’ for her. He said that sometimes “the cables don’t touch in her brain,” she’s a bit of a spaz (what can I say, we’re two spazzes in a pod…) and she can get scared all alone so he agrees it’s not my fault, but to basically ignore her spooks - ride her past it again pretending nothing had happened and get her back to work (which is typically my approach either way). He agrees she is a “confidence taker” and that it is worse in the winter and when she is not getting turn out. So I’m going to see how March goes as it’s getting warmer and she will start getting turned out again.
I did find a picture of her as a 4 year old with the description, “She’s a nice mare, easily scared, but very good!” This basically describes her 10 years later too. And few show results from the past 10 years where she was eliminated. But she has also made it to national championships so it seems to be part of personality too: she’s a nice mare, easily scared, but very good (fun fact: she’s also a Gemini).
Later in the year I’d like to do a few shows, ride more cross-country and jump a little higher so I’m not sure she’s the best match for me long-term but I’m going to see how it goes for the next month at least. I’m still not convinced there is not a pain or hormonal issue somewhere but since she’s not my horse I can only be her advocate. In the meantime I’m going to continue working on mostly walk/trot stuff on our own and try to take it easy with her but keep her mind occupied at the same time.