I used to board with one of these types. Me being a doormat, I was too nice at first and offered to help, hauled them to a show. Except she didn’t have a haynet, so I had to go digging around and find an old spare at the bottom of my trunk, and oh, I need a fitted pad? And a coat? Can I borrow one? I should have learned my lesson then, but a year later, hauled them again, and still, no haynet. I mean, you can afford two custom saddles but you can’t shell out $10 for something everyone needs if you’re going on a trailer ride? Then the begging for stuff started, and I offered up a girth in the size being requested, because it was a size mine only wore when she’d been out of work/layed up, and so I no longer needed it, nothing fancy, but a perfectly good condition fleece girth, for free, because I had two I hadn’t used in years, and could spare one. She didn’t want because it wasn’t leather :uhoh: That was the last time I offered any assistance.
It IS an expensive hobby, and yes, I try to have nice things, but I save up for them, and economize to make it happen, and buy good quality used when I can. I really don’t mind sharing the wealth to let someone try out a piece of tack or a bit or whatever, but good gracious, don’t EXPECT it, and ask nicely.
I had a boarder get extremely upset with me and leave because I raised board from $150 to $180 (maybe $190, I can’t remember). For what was provided I should have be charging $250-$300 for the area we are in.
[QUOTE=RiderInTheRain;8245988]
This drives me nuts too and I’m someone who does own horses on a small/limited budget that I manage carefully in order to ensure they are well cared for. Their basic care and any vet expenses come first, followed by functional and comfortable gear for them with things like brand new tack and fees for shows coming in last (if they can be paid for without dipping into the $ cushion I feel comfortable with keeping in case of unexpected vet or other expenses). But I do know folks who will pay for all kinds of show entry fees one week, then complain that they can’t afford to get a vet out to see the horse.
I do think its appropriate and kind to help out other horse folks who have befallen a real, unexpected tragedy (death of a family member, barn fire, etc.) and have in the past and will again contribute to such causes as I’m able.
The “GoFundMe” and other type posts that irritate me the most are from folks (typically older juniors or young professionals) seeking donations to embark on some kind of upper level show campaign. I think its great when such ambitious folks can find mutually beneficial sponsorships, ride nice horses for owners, or come up with clever fundraising ideas (like supplying financial supporters with “Team Horse’s name” gear and including them during course walks, other events, etc) but to simply ask for handouts doesn’t to me seem like a very appealing strategy and if I had the money to spare and wanted to support an up and coming rider I would be very much inclined to support one who would treat me as part of the team in some small way or another rather than just a source of funds.[/QUOTE]
Exactly.
I am on a limited budget myself, but I saved for months and months to pay for a Voltaire saddle because it was the best fit on my gelding. Yes, I looked around for the best deals, and when I saw one on Ebay that was the right specs and a great price, I snapped it up. I take very good care of it so that it lasts a long time. If I hadn’t found that great deal, I would have just continued saving until I could afford the saddle. Same with every other piece of equipment I own. I totally go shopping for good deals, and I snap them up when I find them. I don’t show right now, but that is looking like a real option for me this coming year. My mare fits my dressage saddle beautifully, but not the Voltaire, so a close contact for her is next, and that comes before showing.
My kids dream of going to nationals next year. We’re already talking about how to fundraise to make that trip possible for them, and we fully expect them to participate in the fundraising.
Another one that gets me are the people who but horse property with absolutely no regard for the maintenance of the property. Can I borrow your tractor? Can your husband help fix fences? Our shed is falling apart but we don’t have any money? And so on . .
[QUOTE=JenEM;8249558]
I used to board with one of these types. Me being a doormat, I was too nice at first and offered to help, hauled them to a show. Except she didn’t have a haynet, so I had to go digging around and find an old spare at the bottom of my trunk, and oh, I need a fitted pad? And a coat? Can I borrow one? I should have learned my lesson then, but a year later, hauled them again, and still, no haynet. I mean, you can afford two custom saddles but you can’t shell out $10 for something everyone needs if you’re going on a trailer ride? Then the begging for stuff started, and I offered up a girth in the size being requested, because it was a size mine only wore when she’d been out of work/layed up, and so I no longer needed it, nothing fancy, but a perfectly good condition fleece girth, for free, because I had two I hadn’t used in years, and could spare one. She didn’t want because it wasn’t leather :uhoh: That was the last time I offered any assistance.
QUOTE]
I never expect the person I trailer for to have a haynet. Most people I know board and don’t need a haynet. I always just have two for the trailer. Now I have manger bags that fit the trailer and don’t do hay nets.
In my area we tend to expect the trailer to have the net(s). On my old trailer we used one net between the two horses. We just put in extra hay. My current trailer has a stud head divider so they can’t share. But I always provide the nets. Now the person I am trailering for will frequently fill the net with their own hay or at least offer to fill them.
If she only trailers the once a year she probably forgot all about the hay net and you did have an extra one.
I do understand your girth example a little better.
[QUOTE=Casey09;8249333]
I never mind people offering less as long as it is just a, "Would you take x?, or “would you take less of it was cash today?”[/QUOTE]
Heh, heh…I have only myself to blame for dilly-dallying around about a horse I spotted on line at the breeder’s as a 2 year old. By the time I made up my mind, went to look at him and decided I wanted him, he was rising 3…and $1,000 higher in price. I did ask if breeder would take the price he’d been listed at as a 2 year old, she said “no,” and I ponied up the asking (pending PPE and all that, of course). Like you say, it never hurts to ask, but you can’t be ridiculous about it.
I don’t mind negotiation. Well, actually I do, but my husband assures me it’s a crucial part of the private-sales world. He thinks it’s fun, and assumes that people list a price with some wiggle in it. So, I tolerate the negotiation part, understanding that it seems to be part of our culture.
What burns me is when I say “no, the price is XXX, I just can’t go lower” and the person gets ANGRY, then proceeds to tell me all about how I’ll never get my asking price and my item/horse is a POS anyway. That’s not fun. Or they pull out a sob story or tell me about their financial constraints.
While I appreciate financial constraints, if you can’t actually afford my asking price, I think you’re pretty out of line to be angry WITH ME after you wasted my time.
What gets me are the people who want you to train their young horse for free (free lease) or better yet to pay for the privilege (paid lease). I see these ads all the time on Facebook: seeking experienced rider to “work” (aka train) my barely broke 3 or 4 year old; showing a possibility for the right person. Of course they’re always well bred and suuuuper sweet :rolleyes:
They aren’t expensive if you get them for free off of local papers or CL,ride them til they get hurt and hope they get better. If they don’t, just give them away, pound them out - and start over.
[QUOTE=Lord Helpus;8249474]
OMG!!! I just went to Go Fund Me and I am amazed and sickened. One request is $$$$ so a 560 pound man can cycle across the country. And people are giving him money!!!
And the number of people who want others to pay for their honeymoons. Gaaaah.
That site is beyond words. I could not find any people who wanted $$ for their horse activities because I did not know names. But, based on the sites I did see, I am appalled.[/QUOTE]
Does that mean you’re not going to contribute so I can get that Dr. Who dressage pad? ;0)
Guess we are pretty hard-hearted here, don’t contribute to anyone just wanting funding, especially on the internet! I have participated in PLENTY of fund raising with Bake Sales, selling items as a kid in clubs, for school, so we could buy equipment needed or go places. I put in effort, learned skills in selling my items to people, which came in handy later in my life.
Not sure who said it first, but a phrase I heard a LOT was: It is not my job to subsidize your horse habit! You need to earn money to pay for what is needed yourself.
On selling things, I don’t consider someone offering a lower amount than I am asking to be criminal. However they better be willing to spend a reasonable amount up towards what I am asking. I don’t do low-ball offers, tell them right off it is not enough. I do price things with a bit of wiggle room, but won’t sell below a reasonable price. There is ALWAYS someone else to buy it, that will pay what I want for the item. I have not had anyone get mad about it! I would tell them I am NOT forcing them to buy and I do NOT do time payments. Cash works, not checks.
We had a lady call on a horse, sent a nice long video of ALL the things she wanted to see, including catching him, grooming, clipping, hoof handling, saddling, riding, various gaits. Guess she liked what she saw, because THEN she wanted to negotiate his price, starting with $1000 off for “needed Vet Check and numerous X-rays of all his joints”. Horse was green, advertised that way, no mileage on him to wear out any joints. Then oh yeah, she would need ANOTHER $500 knocked off his price for shipping from MI to Texas if she purchased him after Vet Check!
I said “No, I am sorry we can’t lower his price by that much. Your choice to spend the money on such an extensive Vet Check and shipping. His cost is still $XXXXX. He is a very nice horse, you will like him a lot.” She passed on him.
Next call on him was another lady, who also wanted video which we sent. She called back and we gave her the name of horse rider in video to talk to about him, they had a good discussion about his training stages, reactions, acceptance of new things. We also talked to Buyer about horse, how he had been handled growing up, Trainer we used, anything she wanted to know. She called to have a Vet Check done, we gave her 3 names to choose among for the check. Vet Check was done to what she requested, they called her and gave results. She called us, got our address and sent the check. We had his health papers and Coggins drawn, loaded him on the van the next week and sent him to Florida. No quibbling on anything. She loved him when he got off, was really excited to get him, and loves him to pieces. She put in time to finish his training, teaching him to work with her well. She has competed him quite successfully, we see his picture in the news with his winning results. Such a GREAT buyer to deal with, wonderful home for horse to go and be enjoyed so much. Really a big difference in Buyers to deal with!!
Sure glad we don’t have a horse to sell very often, way too much work dealing with the cheapskates or unsuitable riders.
Again, NOT my job to subsidize someone else wanting to own horses!! Horses ARE A LUXURY item!.
If they can’t afford to buy horse, tack, pay board, feed or hay, Vet, Farrier, then they need to do without owning a horse. I was taught begging was ONLY acceptable if you were starving! You DO NOT lower yourself to begging others for things you want, you DO WITHOUT until you can save up to purchase items with money you EARNED. You don’t EVER buy on credit, you pay cash for horse stuff since it is not a “needed” item to survive.
There are people who truly need help of various kinds, but they are not those wanting to “have a horse and horse accessories”. I can admire a person working to earn money for a horse, would hire them to work for me. But I wouldn’t be just giving them anything because a person will learn much from earning their money and probably appreciate, care for better, those things they worked for, much more than getting freebies.
This thread reminds me a bit of a blog post I read earlier this summer, which is the same concept but on a different scale.
The post was written by a parent local to the area where I work. This area is a suburb of a major city and is very affluent. Said parent does not work. Parent boards daughter’s horse at a place where, if you include lessons, board is $1600/mo.
Parent sets off to buy a horse for herself with a budget of $xxxx. Sends an email on a horse prices at $10,000 more than this budget.
Parent writes very ranty blog post that the seller should have sold her the horse at the offer price for the following reasons:
I will give it a good home
A horse at this level should cost $x. More on this in a minute.
$x is what I have to spend
Horse has been on the market for two months and is therefore overpriced.
Every offer should be considered and since you rejected this offer you didn’t consider it.
It’s important to note that the offer made on the horse was 45% of the asking price. And that the entire reason that parent made an offer on the horse was because there was nothing that met her long list of demands in her price range.
To a normal person this would mean the budget is insufficient. To an entitled suburban parent, the horse should be sold for the lowball price and further it is absolutely insulting when the seller responds that an offer of $10,000 less than asking is insufficient for a horse of this caliber.
My husband does the same thing. He believes that someone should sell him the dirt bike he wants in pristine condition lightly used for a very lowball price and is pissed that all the ones he finds are in rough condition for that price. If you aren’t being realistic, you can’t complain that the market is not flooded with options for you to choose from.
[QUOTE=roseymare;8250342]
I would hope the honeymoon ones are to be used in place of traditional wedding gifts? Maybe they didn’t even sign up on a wedding registry.
Yeh who am I kidding…[/QUOTE]
Just popping in to say that I’m currently planning a wedding, and soon to be DH and I both came together with full kitchens in an apartment with no storage, so our registry is not vast. A number of people have remarked that the registry is insufficient and that we should have a Kickstarter or GoFundMe set up, with honeymoon things like “$75 will pay for us to take a trail ride through the mountains of Costa Rica, $90 will buy us a kayak trip down the river at our resort” so people can just give us money while still feeling like they are buying us something tangible. Apparently this is a common thing.
I did not do this because it felt tacky, but we continue to get complaints about the inadequacy of our registry, and I continue to feel tempted to register for 5 Back on Track saddle pads in retaliation.
[QUOTE=andylover;8245524]
I am finding it more and more amazing and admittedly irritating how many postings I see on social networks where people are asking for vet calls, tack, equipment etc for cheap “because I dont have any money”. One posting from today wanted to find someone to do an EKG on her horse because the vet wanted to charge too much. There are several postings looking for boarding where the horse owner wants arena, turnout, feedings etc but because they dont have any money they can only afford a couple hundred dollars a month. granted I dont live in an expensive area, but to feed a horse alone here is over $200. There are postings for high end saddles, bridles etc, but because they dont really have any money they cant afford to pay much. Are they looking for hand outs, or is just the norm for when looking to purchase something horse orientated.
These individuals post questions about the lameness of their horse and if “anyone has seen something similar” and looking for ways to treat it instead of calling the vet. that one really gets my goat. horses are not cheap in any form. There are ways to save on expenses but when looking to save by not calling the vet when the horses are lame, eyes are swollen shut etc., I find just terrible.
this is probably more of a vent, but at the same time I am a bit curious. Does anyone see this and find it irritating or is it that I am reading into advertisements?[/QUOTE]
This is the #1 reason why I will just continue to lease for now. Some day I will own… when I am more financially secure. I would hate to be in one of those positions you describe above.
[QUOTE=emipou;8251077]
This is the #1 reason why I will just continue to lease for now. Some day I will own… when I am more financially secure. I would hate to be in one of those positions you describe above.[/QUOTE]
I was just having a FB conversation with an old co-worker of mine. She moved and started leasing a horse a few months ago it sounds like. She is so torn because she doesn’t love his current training situation and wants to give him an upgrade but she just isn’t sure she’s ready to own a horse yet, having only been riding again for a short time so she’s waiting on purchasing him for now. I totally understand how torn she is, but it was so refreshing to hear someone being so realistic and grounded about a situation that can cause people to make emotional decisions. I have so much respect for her after that conversation. It’s nice to see that some people still have some sense!
My most recent favorite. The email I got about my $4000 horse for sale, asking if I would consider donating it to their (for profit) riding school, because he would have such a good home as part of someone’s lesson string.
[QUOTE=eponacelt;8251236]
My most recent favorite. The email I got about my $4000 horse for sale, asking if I would consider donating it to their (for profit) riding school, because he would have such a good home as part of someone’s lesson string.
Ummm…yeah.[/QUOTE]
I can beat that…once had a small pony for sale for $750 and a “trainer” came and had her daughter ride her because they were looking for another pony for their lesson string…pony went beautifully for her. They loved her…but then told me they didn’t have the money to buy her. So they offered me the following “deal”: they said they would be interested in taking her to use in their lesson program if I would pay for her hay/feed and farrier expenses. :eek:
Oh, and to make the deal even more appealing, they told me they didn’t have an indoor at their farm so they would be shipping her a few times a week to various facilities with indoors to use for lessons…but I was also assured that this would be an “excellent home”.
