A good pair of eyes on the ground; video; and lots of galloping position with differing stirrup lengths (riding with one stirrup will reflect your flaws and allow you to improve your balance). Those 3 things done consistently along with the Nike mantra of just “do it” have worked well for me.
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I work with Heather Blitz several times a year who credits Mary Wanless for improving her riding. What I love the most about working with someone with expertise in biomechanics is how when a positional flaw that could be blocking the horses movement is corrected the feel in the way the horse moves is immediate. One of my problems was crossing my right hand over the withers which made lateral movements a big problem! We fixed that and voila SI, HP etc. were smooth as silk.
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Thanks for posting this tip!! I tend to have a wandering left arm, so I thought specifically about this in my ride yesterday and had just the best connection and feel!
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I was lucky enough to clinic with Sally Swift as a kid. Truly awesome person. I’d recommend reading her books to help you find imagery that works for you.
It’s really amazing how you can say the same thing with different words and get totally different responses. Heels down is the classic example. A large portion of people will brace their lower leg forward when told heels down, but end up with the perfect lower leg when told toes up.
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I just wanted to give a reminder that some position struggles (unfortunately, not the elbow ones typically) are actually ones you can fix with horse positioning. My “sitting to the left” is actually a symptom of my horse wanting to carry her rib cage to the right because she’s naturally stronger on one side than the other. And so, fixing my position means getting her off my right leg. 
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I’m finding most of my positional fixes are coming out of necessity as my horse improves.
I’ve always been aware of MANY faults and been working on them with my longtime coach. But my newer coach has a “one thing at a time” method that has really helped. I just couldn’t keep legs under, hands quiet, elbows down, forward horse, + leg yield/shoulder in etc etc. Too much!
now progress is more natural. Fix one thing and the next is obvious.
…now just to solve my constantly moving left hand… in trot, I just cant shut it up and it’s the next thing to fix and what’s holding us back! (With effort it goes quiet in canter)
I’m right there with ya OP! Something that has helped me is practicing good body alignment off of the horse. As an AA with a desk job, I’m seeing how much the sedentary life is impacting my riding position and effectiveness as I get older.
I struggle with having my elbows out, and I realized that when I sit a my desk ( 8 hours a day) and drive in my car (1 hour a day) my elbows are always OUT and leaning on an armrest. No wonder it was so hard to get them to cooperate and down IN while riding. I was trying to combat hours of muscle memory in 30 minutes! Now I try to not use armrests and practice keeping my elbows in by my sides. I also try to do many tasks with my non-dominant hand to increase dexterity and build those neuro pathways so I am not so one-sided.
Yoga has also really helped to increase my general body awareness and is slowly helping with flexibility. I have a tendency to arch my back (weak abs and heavy chested) and doing yoga (or any exercise really) in front of a mirror has been helpful in helping me be aware of when I am arching and when I need to practice having that nice neutral spine that we all want.
Bottom line is that you are going to have to give yourself little reminders to fix all these things throughout the day, which will aid you when you ride. It wont be this new thing for your brain to process (in addition to steering and riding) you will already have practiced the ‘right’ feelings in your own body before you got to the barn.
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Mary Wanless. Which I also back up with direct bodywork with a Feldankrais practitioner.
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Mary Wanless for pinpointing an area to concentrate on. Pilates for strength. Alexander Technique practitioner (who used to work with Sally Swift back in the day and has also worked with Tom Meyner) for more body awareness and relaxation of lines of tension, that are also discussed in Mary’s latest book and in Meyner’s Anatomy Trains. (I really need a team!) My most recent discovery (courtesy of Mary) was that my right pubic bone was “lifted.” When I visualized bringing it level with the other one, my left shoulder came back (to where it needed to be), my right seatbone came forward, my right knee came down, and my right foot came back. I could weigh the right stirrup, not find myself pushing with the left seatbone and leg. All things I’ve been trying to do by using muscles to bring these body parts where they needed to be, but which I could not accomplish without much muscle strain and body stiffness. I’ve concluded from this that the most important things to position are in the seat and core, which are not easy to do. We can all see the peripheral manifestations of central position flaws, but to correct them properly requires someone (or a team!) with a lot of knowledge and a great eye!
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Mirrors all around the arena is an instant fix.
Comcentrate on sitting up while driving and sitting at a desk. Concentrate on shoulders back and head up while walking.
Pilates - 1 hour a day DVD Jennifer Kries. Day 2 I touched my toes Day 4 I was stronger in my seat. Day 6 my legs were stronger. Day 8 I sat up.
Honestly? I’ve found that much about rider position is achieved out of the saddle. The position in the saddle and proper posture on the ground is identical, just with the knees a little bit bent and elbows bent.
So make sure you have good posture in your everyday life. Standing in proper alignment; flat back when bending over to pick something up from the floor; shoulder blades held lightly flat against your back; hips held evenly across from each other as you walk, and torso and ribs stacked over hips in parallel lines to each other. Way easier said than done, esp. since all the soft tissue has conformed to the dysfunctional posture and can make corrections feel way worse than the mistake.
This can be tough to do when driving, but it’s also a great time to find out how distorting all the things we do in modern life can be to our health.
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I hope some of the suggestions help the OP. The problem is, what will help one person will not necessarily help the next. (Although I am a fan of biomechanics clinics to help with position). Everyone learns differently. What works for one person doesn’t work for the next. It’s why a good instructor can tailor their teaching to the student. Some riders learn by seeing it done correctly - hence all the suggestions of watching videos. Some riders learn by visualizing themselves doing it. My coach frequently says, “push your hands forward like you are pushing a shopping cart,” if the rider is pulling. Some learn by using a crutch (ever had your instructor put a whip through your elbows to keep them back)? Some riders can only learn by feeling it. And that takes many, many, many repetitions. No one way is better or worse than any other - it simply depends on your learning style. I am one who can learn by watching someone else do it. That makes life easy for me most of the time.
No one can keep more than 3 things in their mind at once, and that’s the max. Usually, if you are concentrating, you can only manage one or two. You have to focus on whatever you are trying to fix until it becomes ingrained and you no longer have to think about it, then you go on to the next. We are never perfect, we are always improving. That’s part of the fun.
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Thanks, everyone! The ideas have helped figured out what works best and I tried a few new things. I am back to lunge line lessons and had many lightbulb moments during the first one.
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It’s funny…being a “Mary” practitioner myself, and then living in an area where the few dressage riders near me are all still happy having the “driving instruction” type lesson…you know…“now do a 10 m circle, okay it needs more bend, now straighten and shoulder in down the longside, etc etc” they walk out of the lesson thinking they made improvements and then wonder why no real progress is made over time. The instructor never does any real body work or tackles asymmetry issues and when there is a problem they add draw reins. Meanwhile the rider sits to one side, pulls up legs, has no bear down and you couldn’t take their reins or stirrups away without them being completely unable to ride…and lunge lessons…lol no way!
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I don’t call them driving lessons, but I do know some very good trainers who can fix a person’s position by using exercises on the horse. They don’t tell them “your left seat bone is too light”, but they use figures to get the person sitting more evenly. For some people, that is very effective. There is no “one correct” method.
I also think Mary Wanless is part of the process, but not necessarily the ONLY part. Fixing my body is one thing, but exercises to make my horse supple and uphill are a whole 'nother thing - and Mary doesn’t do that. So I appreciate those “driving” lessons (I call them ‘using riding exercises to fix issues’ lessons) because they add a lot to my tool chest.
For me, personally, I need to understand what is wrong with my body, then I need to have a concrete way to fix it (don’t tell me my left seat bone is too light, tell me I need to FEEL my left seat bone equally on the saddle seat, for example). Then I need to hear from a “riding exercise” person on how to take my body and create work for the horse that makes THEM better.
I do know plenty of very successful riders who have never done a biomechanics lesson - so I don’t dismiss different methods of training. However, I do feel for many of us, especially those of us who might not have as much natural feel and athleticism, good biomechanics lessons are eye-opening.
OTOH, like with any other training - not all are good. I took a lesson a while ago for a “centered riding instructor” (which is another form of biomechanics and body awareness), which was a disaster. LIFT your chest was one of the themes of the lesson - which caused me to arch my back and angle my pelvis backwards - ALL wrong. My core lost strength, and I got top-heavy - ALL wrong. So one of the big challenges is finding someone who actually knows what they are doing. Biomechanics, centered riding - buzz words that mean nothing of the instructor is not good and correct with their teaching…
The real struggle is finding a good trainer - or maybe a couple of good trainers!
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I think that having more than one trainer, and they concentrate on different things, is a key for me. My home exercises give me more body awareness and strength and symmetry. Mary concentrates on having me sit better and use my body better and be more effective, and as a result the horse goes better. My teacher concentrates on exercises - gymnasticizing the horse - and as a result the horses become more capable, stronger and more supple, and then I can sit better.
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Make your body super super strong! It’s amazing how much more control, how much softer your elbows can be, how much quieter your lower leg, when your torso is strong and rock solid.
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The best way to fix any position flaw is to intentionally exaggerate the opposite for a while. 
I think about my position off horse ( especially when driving at stop signs and red lights)
realized on Monday way too long into the game that my butt tightens when I engage my core. So now I have that to work on. I love and hate this part of riding.
Some of the fixes above can create a pretty looking but stiff rider. Thinking about the biomechanics piece is important.
My shoulders are still rounded because I’m old and it’s permanent, but I also clicker train my horses and the young ones definitely go through the “slam on the brakes” stage when I click. They get over it, but it has been very good for my seat.
In fact, the way I work on my position is to ride more without trying to over-control my horse. IOW, when I’m trail riding I leave my horse alone and let him move so that I can practice staying with him without damping down his movement. I’m too old and weak now to be stable enough in the saddle to do much jumping, but back when I was more stable I found that jumping improve my seat, too.
One thing I don’t do though, is work on my position by focusing on parts of my body, because that just makes me stiff.
