How do you answer questions from non-horsey folks?

[OverandOnward]

I have to say, I have to pause and think to answer well. Once someone said brightly “Tell me about your horse!” and I said “Well, he’s a sixteen-one-hand chestnut TB gelding,” and she said “I didn’t understand a word you just said.”

Avoiding the jargon and relating everything to something they know or do is the best way.

It’s interesting to me that more people nowadays that live in the city appear to have no experience or concept of countryside or large animals. They have literally never even seen a horse in person, just photos. Or any other farm animal - the grocery store is the closest they’ve ever come. It can be challenging to translate.

When I have taken my horse to a state park with an equestrian trail on a weekend, it isn’t unusual to have grown-ups eagerly asking me if they and their children can pet my horse, because they have never petted a horse before. It’s sweet that it is a big event for them and they are excited just to stand there stroking him for a few moments. I have to coach them where to reach first and tell them what movements he will make, and that he is not unhappy or alarmed if he looks away, it is just what horses do. Fortunately my horse loves people and shows a polite interest in them, pricks his ears and stays still for petting - that really makes their day.

[emipou]

I will never forget the day I was leaving work to go ride and two coworkers saw me and asked if I was going to ride. I of course answered yes. One of them, a man… a very “stylized” man… He would be hard to describe, responded to me with a big, loud whinny! hahaha. Still makes me laugh. He don’t work here no more.

[MissAriel]

A teenager is new to our barn and over the holidays her whole family, including elderly grandparents came to watch her lesson. Grandpa came over to chat while I was at the cross-ties untacking. First question was if “my” horse (he’s not mine) was entered in the Kentucky Derby! When I replied that he wasn’t entered since going fast isn’t really his favorite thing, and at 7 years old, he was far too old for the Kentucky Derby Grandpa was crestfallen and said, “Well, its too bad. I think you shoulda entered - he looks fast” :winkgrin:
So we chatted about his granddaughter a bit and her riding, the weather, the holidays. He was just bored watching a dressage lesson and looking for someone to pass the time with.

[furlong47]

If the person is genuinely curious, then I try to answer and explain in everyday words and also introduce some of the terminology. A little goodwill goes a long way and I would prefer that others think horse people are friendly and approachable (even though we know they are really all crazy )

Also, all of us were brand new to this and knew nothing once.

[ladyrider]

[QUOTE=NoSuchPerson;7945040]
Heck, that’s an easy one.

“They love cold weather! They’re wearing fur coats, you know. ;)”[/QUOTE]

I think I’m detecting a smart aleck!!! :lol:

[SmartAlex]

[QUOTE=OverandOnward;7945172]
Fortunately my horse loves people and shows a polite interest in them, pricks his ears and stays still for petting - that really makes their day. :)[/QUOTE]

My horse in general is a reactive, nippy, opinionated, self centered… whatever. But swarm him with admiring children or adults and he stands stock still and allows his nose to be petted and is the best gentleman I could hope for. Never ceases to amaze me. Somehow he knows.

[Sandy_M]

[QUOTE=Lady Eboshi;7945018]
I was recently asked by a hairdresser “if horses eat meat.” Inwardly I nearly fell out of my CHAIR, but I stayed polite and explained that horses are “prey” animals which makes their eating and other habits very different from those of “predator” animals like cats and dogs. She was friendly and interested, just hadn’t a clue, which in today’s world is NOT her fault.

The fact that we are THIS much out of touch with the natural world, of course, scares the crap out of me! :eek:[/QUOTE]

I had a friend whose Standardbred/QH cross grabbed a salami sandwich out of her hand and ate the whole thing. My guess was he liked the saltiness (?).

[Silverbridge]

When people ask what they cost, I have learned to say, “Oh, he [she/whichever] was a really good deal!” And I say it with enough self-satisfied enthusiasm that the inquirer can’t help but feel a little bit pleased for me.

When they ask what kind of horse, I had it easiest with “Thoroughbred”. People hear about thoroughbred racing, and thoroughbred farms, and thoroughbred betting, on TV-- at least to where they readily recognize the word. Sometimes, they have taken it to mean that the horse is some type of pureblood, and that I’m being coy.

Me: She’s a Thoroughbred.
Them: I KNOW. But what KIND of thoroughbred?

Having bred two Belgian Warmbloods and then acquiring a Hanoverian, those three were the hardest to reference by breed. Sometimes made to repeat, sometimes shocked or awed responses, sometimes puzzled, sometimes accusatory.

Me: He’s a Hanoverian.
Them: You just made that up…

Now I am down to one, and she is a Lipizzan. It’s been truly astonishing how many non-horse people actually know what that is. If not exactly, at least, having a general idea of white horses in unison in performance, either in Europe or touring the country. The “World Famous” show reached a lot of people.

It can be a little galling to meet non-horse people who find out that I have a Lipizzan in just general, polite conversation, who then reveal that they have seen the SRS perform in Vienna. I’ve had this happen several times already.

Me: She’s a Lipizzan. Do you know what that is?
Them: Wow! Yes! I saw them in Vienna! Have you ever been to the famous school in Vienna, and seen them?
Me: No I haven’t.
Them: How can you have a Lipizzan and not have been there? You have to go, you really have to go.
Me: Well, I’d love to someday.
Them: Well you really have to.

(pause)

Me: Did I tell you she was a REALLY GOOD deal?

[Obiwan]

I just whip out my phone and start showing pictures like any around mama. Plus I don’t mind sounding silly to keep it simple, “I go around really fast over raised sticks and if I don’t knock any down, it’s a good day”.

But always be nice to non-horse folk, many have the conception that we are all rich and snotty-- no need to feed the stereotype

[RiderInTheRain]

How I answer the questions right now:

Have you ever fallen off? (Usually followed by a look of disbelief and shock when I answer ‘of course’) Yes - its just part of learning to ride, the same way you fall learning to ski or ice skate. Most of the time its not a big deal and you just stand up and get right back on.

Aren’t they expensive? Yes, but like many hobbies they can be expensive as you make them or you can participate in horse activities on a variety of levels with different financial commitments! If you’re interested in what it would cost to get started with lessons or leasing a horse, I can tell you what the costs for that are like in the area

What kind of horse do you have? One of my horses is an ex-racehorse. I got him because he was a very bad racehorse. He was not terribly slow, but did not like running in a big group crowded by the other horses. The other horse is a pony (he’s actually a rather small Morgan, but I don’t get that specific. If asked I will explain that he is full grown and not a baby).

How do you give a horse a bath? (Followed by the next inevitable question…how do you get them to stand still?)I haven’t been asked this yet - but think I’d compare it to washing a car in the driveway or something like that.

How much does it cost to buy a horse?Buying the horse is the cheapest part - you buy one for a two hundred dollars or less at the local auction, but keeping it is the expensive part. You will spend much more than that in the first month just getting things set up for it! You can basically spend as much money as you want to - it depends on things like the horse’s age, breed, and training.

Can I ride your horse?No, I don’t have a horse suitable for that right now. The ex-racehorse is still learning to be a regular riding horse and I’m about the largest size of rider that should be riding my pony (usually what I say as people asking are usually larger than me - if they are around my size my answer changes to “my pony and I are in training right now and have a schedule that we need to stick to” - this explanation seems to satisfy anybody who has trained for an athletic event). I’ll give kids (wearing helmets) pony rides on my pony though - he enjoys it and so do I

[Lady_Eboshi]

[QUOTE=Sandy M;7945262]
I had a friend whose Standardbred/QH cross grabbed a salami sandwich out of her hand and ate the whole thing. My guess was he liked the saltiness (?).[/QUOTE]

We had a school horse when I was a kid–white boy with a pink nose frequently turned orange by the orange sodas he loved to chug from the bottle! He never met a baloney sandwich he didn’t like, nor did another big gray we had. Heck, I accused my own mare of cannibalism this VERY DAY for attempting to extract a dog biscuit from my pocket . . . :lol:

[Mukluk]

Thus far my favorite question from a non-horsey person was “How come they put blindfolds on the horses?” He was referring, of course, to fly masks!

[imaginique]

I once had an older lady say to me: “You don’t have to go out in this weather to take care of your horses do you?” I’m normally very patient with questions from non-horse people and I had a lot of respect for this lady, but I answered with: “Only if I want them to live through the winter.”

[Trakehner]

Even horse people can be amazing…I have a mule, he will not wear a blanket/sheet/cooler etc. to save his soul. He’s in a barn with a lot of hothouse flowers it seems…blankies on everyone, except my guy. It’s taken them some real adjusting to get over he doesn’t wear or need a blanket, he’s happily fuzzy.

I have been asked, “What does it cost to keep a horse?” I tell them, honestly, more than my airplane. They dont’ know quite how to answer that one.

[NoSuchPerson]

[QUOTE=imaginique;7945908]
I once had an older lady say to me: “You don’t have to go out in this weather to take care of your horses do you?” I’m normally very patient with questions from non-horse people and I had a lot of respect for this lady, but I answered with: “Only if I want them to live through the winter.”[/QUOTE]

But that’s not a stupid question. There’s no reason a non-horse person would understand the magnitude of care a horse requires.

And for many people the answer to that question is “No.” People whose horses are on full board don’t have to go out in this weather to take care of their horses. When I had 4 hairy yak air ferns that didn’t wear blankets and got no grain, I had a round bale under cover that I could see from inside the house. Other than needing to check the water, I didn’t have to go out in this weather to take care of my horses.

[Beverley]

There are no stupid questions, in horses or anything else. I will answer any question in plain language, cheerfully. My sister did have a horse that ate meat, specifically fond of roast beef sandwiches and the dill pickles that went with. And no, you can’t ride mine, but I can refer you to a lesson barn or two.

It actually isn’t too far afield from my upcoming volunteer work at Sundance- you’ll get asked 50 times a day, ‘where is the bathroom,’ and you have to remember that for each person asking, it’s their first time asking the question, and so you answer as though it’s the first time you’ve had the question, cheerfully and politely.

[JumasMom]

People are always surprised I still take lessons. Don’t I know how to ride by now??

Also, I always dread “what kind of riding do you do?” Explaining dressage is awful; Stephen Colbert helped a little a few years back, but sticking to jumpers would be so much easier!

[ladyrider]

[QUOTE=Silverbridge;7945277]
Sometimes, they have taken it to mean that the horse is some type of pureblood, and that I’m being coy.

Me: She’s a Thoroughbred.
Them: I KNOW. But what KIND of thoroughbred?[/QUOTE]

Yes, I used to get this all the time when I owned a TB (Me : a Thoroughbred. Them : a thoroughbred WHAT?)

But it was the quarterhorse that finally made me switch my answer to ‘a brown one’, and surprisingly, that seems to satisfy most people.

Every now and then though, I do get the more specific question 'What BREED of horse do you own?" I always answer truthfully an politely, but I often wonder WHY is this person asking me about breed? In my experience, most non horsey people are not familiar with horse breeds at all, except maybe the Lippizan (because they are SO famous), Clydesdale (from the Budweiser commercial), and mustang. So even in this situation, I usually end up reverting back to my ‘brown horse’ answer, and that seems to placate them.

Me : I own a Tennessee Walker.
Them : A WHAT?
Me : He’s brown, about this tall (demonstrate height with my hand.)
Them : Oh. OK.

That reminds me, another question I get asked a lot is ‘How big is your horse?’ If a horse person asks me this, obviously I would answer in hands. If I’m asked this by a non-horsey person, I rarely try to explain ‘hands’, I usually just say ‘medium size’ and demonstrate where his back comes to with my hand.

The one question that I do get asked a fair bit that I do find to be just plain rude is ‘How much did you pay for your horse?’ I wouldn’t ask someone how much they paid for their car, or jewelry, or expensive handbag, etc, and I very much want to answer ‘None of your business’. But I read a Miss Manners column on this once, her advice… smile sweetly and turn the question back on them by saying ‘Why do you want to know that?’ It works!

[ladyrider]

[QUOTE=imaginique;7945908]
I once had an older lady say to me: “You don’t have to go out in this weather to take care of your horses do you?” I’m normally very patient with questions from non-horse people and I had a lot of respect for this lady, but I answered with: “Only if I want them to live through the winter.”[/QUOTE]

:lol: I like this. I get asked a lot 'What does your horse do in the rain?" I answer “He takes the opportunity to get himself as muddy as possible and then gives me a big cheeky grin the next time I go out to groom him.”

[NoSuchPerson]

[QUOTE=ladyrider;7946222]
The one question that I do get asked a fair bit that I do find to be just plain rude is ‘How much did you pay for your horse?’ I wouldn’t ask someone how much they paid for their car, or jewelry, or expensive handbag, etc, [/QUOTE]

I think this is not exclusive to people asking about horses. I am routinely appalled at how many people think it’s perfectly OK to ask intrusive questions of all kinds. I once got so annoyed at an acquaintance at a party that I snapped, “And some people think it’s bad manners to talk about how much other people paid for their houses.” She was stunned.