How do you answer questions from non-horsey folks?

[netg]

[QUOTE=Trakehner;7945998]
Even horse people can be amazing…I have a mule, he will not wear a blanket/sheet/cooler etc. to save his soul. He’s in a barn with a lot of hothouse flowers it seems…blankies on everyone, except my guy. It’s taken them some real adjusting to get over he doesn’t wear or need a blanket, he’s happily fuzzy.

I have been asked, “What does it cost to keep a horse?” I tell them, honestly, more than my airplane. They dont’ know quite how to answer that one.[/QUOTE]

I need an airplane, especially since I now work on them…

[QUOTE=JumasMom;7946146]People are always surprised I still take lessons. Don’t I know how to ride by now??

Also, I always dread “what kind of riding do you do?” Explaining dressage is awful; Stephen Colbert helped a little a few years back, but sticking to jumpers would be so much easier![/QUOTE]

I always say “it’s the Olympic sport where the horses aren’t jumping anything.” And then there are the days I get surprised by other people. A coworker asked what dressage is, and I started explaining, and the other guy in the room said “I always thought it was dancing on horseback, and really all about building a partnership.” :eek: Turns out his sister was a dressage rider and trained him well.

[stryder]

I’m always happy to answer questions about my mare, and try to keep the answers as simple as possible:
She’s a vegetarian.
She’s big, but her mind more like a bird than a dog.
No, she doesn’t live at home. She likes to hang out with her horse friends and needs a staff.

A few people ask about the cost. I just shake my head and comment that I really don’t want to know.

I think about the times I’ve been curious about something, and asked the owner about boats, gardens, all kinds of stuff. It would never occur to me to be snarky about talking about something I enjoy so much.

[Catticus_Maximus]

I get a little annoyed when people–particularly people I’ve just met–ask me how much it costs to keep a horse. I usually just say “it costs enough”.

Every other question seems well intentioned.

I’ve been asked more than once by people if my horse can do tricks. I assume they mean circus type stuff, like nodding or counting by tapping the hoof or something. They actually meant does my horse jump. Oh yes, yes she does. :winkgrin:

I had two friends come to see my ride. I was jumping when another rider was in the ring, so I was calling out which jumps I was doing. eg: rainbow, red and white, etc.

Later, my friends asked how “she” knew what the jumps were named. I was a bit confused and said I just described them. No, not how did the other rider know what the jumps were named, how did the HORSE know the name of the jumps so she could go over them. I had to explain steering, and why we call where we’re going when riding.

[HungarianHippo]

Add me to the list of those who aren’t flummoxed by how to explain horse things to non-horsey people. Or even remotely irritated.

I mean, it’s not rocket science-- there are pretty simple explanations, even for Dressage. "I ride in a disclipline called “Dressage”. It’s about riding certain patterns and movements and you’re judged on how well you execute them. The judges are looking for precision, balance, and how flexible and obedient your horse is. It gets a lot more complicated than that, but that’s gist of it. I really like it because… " and go from there

Someone who doesn’t ride is never going to appreciate how hard dressage is-- but stop and ask yourself why it’s important to you that they know how hard it is. Your goal in a conversation should not be to impress, it should be to describe what’s cool and fun about your discipline.

Why do you still take lessons? Well, it’s like when people go to a yoga class or work with a fitness trainer-- it’s not like they don’t know how to do yoga, but it’s good to get an expert’s feedback on your position and technique, and you learn different exercises to work on during the week.

This person you’re talking to also has a hobby or interest – whether it’s stamp collecting or ham radio or road cycling-- and I guarantee you will not fully appreciate the complexity/difficulty of what they do. But it wouldn’t it be interesting to ask them why they love it?

[AmarachAcres]

I don’t mind at all when people ask how much it costs to take care of a horse, but I will side step how much my horses cost with the “depending on breed, training, age, etc… it can be from a few hundred to thousands.”

It is on every horse owner to represent the horse community. If someone shows interest odds are it is in passing and they will never ask again, but what if that is the next horse owner?

I like to make the horses sound like a good investment. As in, they take money to do, but the return is worth it.

I also like to explain it in a way where people can realize that while it isn’t cheap, you don’t need to be the Trumps to afford it, which is what a majority of people I meet think.

At 20 years old working as a bagger in a store with my husband working his way up in the military we were able to afford a horse and lessons by prioritizing and compromising on expenditures.

But for the average inquiries I say the breed, use my hand to signify how tall they are (like I would for my kids), and answer any questions in a way that doesn’t talk down to them.

The way I would want a pilot to answer my questions about his plane.

[2DogsFarm]

[QUOTE=MissAriel;7945181]

So we chatted about his granddaughter a bit and her riding, the weather, the holidays. He was just bored watching a dressage lesson and looking for someone to pass the time with.[/QUOTE]

:lol:
Reminds me of the time friends came by to watch me work w/ my dressage trainer. After about 1/2h, when I stopped for a break, they called me over to the rail & asked:
“When do you start doing the dressage?”
I dunno, maybe they’d expected the SRS Airs right from the get-go?

[GypsyQ]

“What kind of riding do you do?”
“I ride hunters.”
“???”
“Kind of like the showjumping you see in the Olympics, but it’s judged on style, not time.”

People seem to like that answer. It puts it in terms they understand without being condescending.

I had someone take the roundabout way of asking to ride my horses once.
“Are your horses nice?”
I’m thinking, Nice as in costly? Friendly? Well trained? I said, “They’re great guys.”
“So, if I paid you, could you give my daughter riding lessons?”
Ummm…
I used the Insurance/ No proper riding ring excuse.

[RedmondDressage]

@JumasMom;7946146

Also, I always dread “what kind of riding do you do?” Explaining dressage is awful; Stephen Colbert helped a little a few years back, but sticking to jumpers would be so much easier![/QUOTE]

This! I just got asked this yesterday by a new coworker. I had to refer back to the Colbert thing because otherwise its just so tedious to explain and people rarely get it - and I always feel like they get bored when I go too far into it.

[QUOTE=HungarianHippo;7946386]Add me to the list of those who aren’t flummoxed by how to explain horse things to non-horsey people. Or even remotely irritated.

I mean, it’s not rocket science-- there are pretty simple explanations, even for Dressage. "I ride in a disclipline called “Dressage”. It’s about riding certain patterns and movements and you’re judged on how well you execute them. The judges are looking for precision, balance, and how flexible and obedient your horse is. It gets a lot more complicated than that, but that’s gist of it. I really like it because… " and go from there

I’m stealing this explanation! Super simple and understandable. I think because its such a complicated discipline for those of us who do it, it’s hard for me to remove myself from the intricacies and think about it in bigger/more general terms. Thanks!

When people ask me about breeds and I tell them I have two QHs they usually know what I’m talking about. People seem to be pretty familiar with TB’s and QHs. The Hanoverian and the Oldenburg obviously get blank stares - I just tell them they’re German breeds and people usually say “oh ok”.

[kkmrad94]

I actually just got asked today how I keep my horses warm since it has gotten down to -10 degrees F with wind chill. I just started explaining blankets shelters and letting them in at night. My co worker was genuinely curious about what you do with a horse when it is so cold.

The age old question on “Can I ride ?” I normally say they have to clean up some poop first and then we will see. I haven’t had anyone take me up on helping to shovel our giant manure pile…

[AppendixQHLover]

Boarding someplace that has public trail riding there are MANY, many questions that come along with it when I am out there. Mr. Social is right where people are coming in. Couple times kids made a mistake getting to close with cookie or whatever they are eating…he grabbed it. Stand in front of his stall can’t promise he won’t want to eat it. Warned them also.

I get asked a breed…off track tb.

Next one can I ride him. Um no. He can be very special at times and has zero issue expressing his opinion.

[2enduraceriders]

Way back, when I was in high school I would often get asked how I could afford a horse. Mine was kept literally in the backyard. I would look the person asking in the eye as say it cost less to keep my horse then what they spent on those cigarets. For some reason the only ones asking about costs were always the ones smoking. Maybe because they had problems funding their habit?

[Lady_Eboshi]

[QUOTE=AppendixQHLover;7946458]
Boarding someplace that has public trail riding there are MANY, many questions that come along with it when I am out there. Mr. Social is right where people are coming in. Couple times kids made a mistake getting to close with cookie or whatever they are eating…he grabbed it. Stand in front of his stall can’t promise he won’t want to eat it. Warned them also.

I get asked a breed…off track tb.

Next one can I ride him. Um no. He can be very special at times and has zero issue expressing his opinion.[/QUOTE]

We have mixed-use trails here, and that can get . . . hairy! I’ve had to explain the “basics” of equine behavior when someone’s fool-ass dog is trying to hamstring my horse, someone’s kids are running up to his nose in little pink sandals yelling “Eeee-eeee-eeee-eeeee!” or a mountain bike comes up behind us spraying gravel.

Think, “Um, could you please leash your dog?” enunciated in faux-conversational Downton Abbey tones while executing enthusiastic caprioles! :eek:

[AppendixQHLover]

[QUOTE=2enduraceriders;7946476]
Mine was kept literally in the backyard. I would look the person asking in the eye as say it cost less to keep my horse then what they spent on those cigarets. [/QUOTE]

My ex-hubby’s father would ALWAYS get on my case on how much I spent on the horse. I looked at him and said how many packs a day of cigarettes do you smoke (2) and how much alcohol do you drink daily? My horse costs less per month and I don’t need to sit in a therapist couch. Also told him YOUR son doesn’t contribute to the horse expense’s so it is none of your business.

That was the beginning of the end of our marriage - I grew a spine.

[Sandy_M]

With people who know a little, or who recognize Appaloosas as spotted horses, when I say I have an Appaloosa, I always feel compelled to say, “Not a western, QH type Appaloosa, he’s tall, part Arabian, and we do dressage.” Which of course, starts another line of questioning, but thanks to Mr. Colbert, COTH’s previous Dressage Person of the Year winner, it’s a LITTLE easier to explain.

Price, oh, that’s a touchy one. As someone above said, I tell them it depends on what you want to do. If you want to just stroll down the trail on Old Reliable, anything from $500 to $5,000. If you want to compete, again, it depends: Young horse to be sent to trainer or finished horse ready to compete? Anything from four figures to six figures. Always: “It’s not the purchase price, it’s the upkeep!”

[Gorgonzola]

[QUOTE=ladyrider;7946222]

The one question that I do get asked a fair bit that I do find to be just plain rude is ‘How much did you pay for your horse?’ I wouldn’t ask someone how much they paid for their car, or jewelry, or expensive handbag, etc, and I very much want to answer ‘None of your business’. But I read a Miss Manners column on this once, her advice… smile sweetly and turn the question back on them by saying ‘Why do you want to know that?’ It works![/QUOTE]

I’ve been asked how much my horse cost, and I always say “More than I could have afforded myself at 13! So I’m super thankful for their support” Granted, I’m buying a new guy myself, and am a few years out of college, so I don’t think that will fly much longer…

I was flabbergasted the other day when the receptionist at the doctor’s office asked how much my handbag cost when I was paying/leaving.
Receptionist: Wow, that’s an expensive bag. It’s really nice.
Me: Oh thank you, it was a gift.
R: How much was it?
M: It was a gift, so I am unsure.
R: I know they’re over $1000, that’s too much to spend on a bag.
M: :eek: :eek: :eek: (walks out)

[PlanB]

How much does it cost to keep a horse?

Not too much more than a cocaine addiction.

How much does a horse cost to buy?

As much as a car.

[fooler]

I don’t mind answering the honest, really want to know questions from adults and kids. The questions and my answers are essentially the same as everyone faces.
Fortunately people are more polite now than back in the 70’s/80’s. Back then too many people, mostly male but some females, asked sexually based questions. Or they “just had” to tell me about how Catherine the Great “supposedly died” or about the “show” they saw in Tijuana. . .
I can deal with the general questions with no problem.

One good unintended consequence about people asking to learn how to ride - I now know and provide information about lesson barns in their area. I also encourage them to audit lessons before starting to see if that barn is a good fit for them.

[Lady_Eboshi]

I’m flabbergasted that ANYONE thinks it’s their right to know what ANYONE else’s horse/hobby/vehicle/handbag or anything ELSE costs! Nunnatheirbloodybusiness!

[stryder]

@Catticus Maximus;7946297

I get a little annoyed when people–particularly people I’ve just met–ask me how much it costs to keep a horse. I usually just say “it costs enough”.

I usually ask, “why do you want to know? Are you thinking of getting one?”
And let it go.

[NoSuchPerson]

@PlanB;7946559

How much does it cost to keep a horse?

Not too much more than a cocaine addiction.[/QUOTE]

What was that thing that was making the Facebook rounds a while ago? Something like, “Horses! As addictive as cocaine and twice as expensive.”

[QUOTE=fooler;7946587]…or about the “show” they saw in Tijuana. . .

I worked down on the Mexican border back in the late 70s/early 80s and was among the first wave of women hired for the job I had, which had previously been pretty much exclusively male. OMG, if I had a dollar for every time I had to hear about that damn pony in Tijuana, I could, well, afford to buy a pony. :lol: