On the cost question, I always tell people that the cost of the horse is about equal to the cost of a kid except I don’t have to pay for college.
When asked what I do with them, I tell them foxhunting. They seem to have some concept of that and it’s easier than explaining eventing.
I am perplexed when non horsey people argue that horses don’t have personalities and quirks - for example my daughter’s show horse loved going to shows, but was anxious on trail rides…
so the person argues that horses can’t possibly be ‘that smart’…, and when I counter with queries about their own dog’s personalities, they sort of get it and agree that yes, their dogs have personalities, but they don’t really care about where they are or what they are doing…I’m like ok go sit on your dog and entrust him with your life and put him somewhere scary, like an unfamiliar dog park or very noisy amusement park. They just go blank. ‘they’ can’t get it b/c they have no concept of a partnership with an animal. After all, the beloved dog lives in a crate or in a fenced plot in the backyard, with no real ‘job’. that disconnect is impossible to explain to someone who can’t grasp the partnership that horse and rider should have…
Have you ever fallen off? (Usually followed by a look of disbelief and shock when I answer ‘of course’) - yea and I have pictures
Aren’t they expensive? - my 3 yo son costs more
What kind of horse do you have? ( This question especially, I’m never quite sure how to answer. With horse folk, I would answer with breed/gender/height. But with non horsey folk, that answer is often met with blank, confused stares. Especially when I used to own a quarterhorse, because they would think I was saying he’s only a quarter of a horse, and 3/4 something else. Lately I’ve just started answering ‘A brown one’. ) - an Amish reject
How do you give a horse a bath? (Followed by the next inevitable question…how do you get them to stand still?) - just like a dog but bigger
How much does it cost to buy a horse? - you will either pay for a good horse or pay the vet
Can I ride your horse? - no - it’s like putting a 12 yo boy in a Maserati
[QUOTE=Trakehner;7945998]
Even horse people can be amazing…I have a mule, he will not wear a blanket/sheet/cooler etc. to save his soul. He’s in a barn with a lot of hothouse flowers it seems…blankies on everyone, except my guy. It’s taken them some real adjusting to get over he doesn’t wear or need a blanket, he’s happily fuzzy.
I have been asked, “What does it cost to keep a horse?” I tell them, honestly, more than my airplane. They dont’ know quite how to answer that one.[/QUOTE]
I have a huge grey mare that likes to be naked no matter what the weather. Same exact thing will not wear anything no matter what. My DH fusses over this so bad because he does like to spoil the crew, and it drives him mad that she will NOT wear a blanket.
I don’t get asked how much they cost, which must be weird because so many of you do. What I get asked all the time is how many we have. Like that matters. As for the run of the mill questions that total non horsey people ask, I just refer them to DH. He is so totally great with people and is quite a talker, so it works out well. I have the tendency to only confuse people further.
I think one of my favorite questions I have ever been asked was when I was at the barn with a few friends. Both of them were relatively inexperienced with horses.
I was about to tack up and I put mare’s SMBs on. My friend gets a puzzled look and then goes, “what are the leg warmers for?” :lol:
Other than that, I get asked a lot about spaying mares for some reason…
As a commercial carriage driver I have lots of opportunity to be asked questions. For the most part I am polite and try to be informative. Some questions do get under my skin though because they are loaded with both ignorance AND judgement… in those cases I respond with full blown sarcasm silently inside my head and give a smiling sweet answer outwardly. Like, “Isn’t it too cold for the horse?” Yeah- because it’s so much warmer at home up on the hill- you think loading a horse on a trailer is hard- you should try dragging him out of the heated barn. Or… “Isn’t this Haaaarrrrd for him to do?” no dimwit… it’s ridiculously easy for him- he’s 18 hands and weighs 2000 lbs ferchrissakes… in fact I purposely bought a horse 2x bigger than I needed to do this job JUST so I wouldn’t be asked that question and that’s costing me, I figure, at least an extra grand a year in feed and shoeing- so I think you own me $50 just for pissing me off.
How much did your handbag cost?
The one with the horses on it was a Secret Santa present from a Cyberfriend in America.
The one with Father Christmas on it and the one I use daily. $2.50 each from The Salvos. Actually less than that as I volunteer there now and get a 20% discount!
My co-workers wouldn’t DARE ask to ride my horse after the last time he bucked me off! They thought I should have “called in sick” and taken a day to recuperate. Sure, I was sore, but not sore enough to miss work!
Their #1 question: “Was he mad at you? Is that why he threw you off?” And I said yes, he was mad that I was smacking his butt for bucking, someone had to win the battle!
I was just telling them today how we should go riding (trail horses), and one of them mentioned how she did lessons as a kid and learned “how to put the thing in their mouth! It was scary because their teeth are huge!” and “how to clean the hooves” (for some reason she pronounced it “hoofs”).
I love chatting with my co-workers about my horse. They ask me everyday if he is warm enough (you mean he lives OUTSIDE? why can’t you just keep him in the barn during the winter?!). I tell them yes, he has one heavy sweater and a winter jacket on today (liner & heavy turnout). Or sometimes he has his rain coat on.
They ask me about his hooves, and if he wears shoes (does it hurt them when you nail into their feet? Why do you have to trim their hooves? They grow?).
They ask me what I did the night before at the barn (so you just fed him? You didn’t ride?).
They seem to really be learning, and I can’t wait for them to come and meet him when summer rolls around.
I’m always happy to answer questions and think it is really nice when non-horsey friends and colleagues take an interest in something they know I love. The toughest for me is when non-horse people want to come see my horse. He’s not exactly user-friendly for non-horse people (or many horse people, actually). I love him dearly, and he expresses affection towards me in his own ways, but he really does not like to be touched or fussed with much, hates any kind of disruption (like people standing around looking at him), and can be a bit stall aggressive. Owning him is a lot like owning a stallion. He needs to be handled in a very particular way to be safe. That’s tough to explain to people who just want to come out and feed a treat to him.
[QUOTE=SuzieQNutter;7947346]
How much did your handbag cost?
The one with the horses on it was a Secret Santa present from a Cyberfriend in America.
The one with Father Christmas on it and the one I use daily. $2.50 each from The Salvos. Actually less than that as I volunteer there now and get a 20% discount![/QUOTE]
The amount of money some people will spend on designer handbags is something I will never EVER understand. I have a coworker that spent $1400 on a purse (and very gleefully bragged about how much she spent on it.) Outwardly, I smiled politely and complimented her on what a beautiful purse it was, and inwardly I was tallying in my head all the amazing horsey gear I could have bought for $1400. To each their own I guess…
Try having Minis!
We were exhibiting our Miniature horses at the Fort Worth Stock Show. We have nice horses and do pretty well. I am sitting in my stall, prepping my little 32" tall horse for his class. My friend is with me. The door is open, because the little kids love to watch us. We like to talk to anyone who comes by, you never know who may buy a horse!
An older “lady” sticks her head in the door:
Her: “They aren’t good for anything, are they?”
Me: “I beg your pardon?”
Her: “Well, you can’t ride them. What good are they?”
Me: “Well, we drive ours and teach them to jump and do trail….”
Her: she interrupts: “But you can’t ride them! They’re worthless!”
Me: getting edgy: " You can do anything with them but ride them. We do parades and take them to nursing homes and…"
Her: “YOU CAN’T RIDE THEM!”
By this time I’m getting frustrated. But still being nice.
Me: “No, you can’t ride them. Only little kids can ride them.”
Her: “WORTHLESS!”
My friend and I look at each other.
Her: “Do you ride him??”
Me: (resigned): “No, ma’am, I don’t ride him. My feet drag.”
Her: “Oh, OK.”
At this time her highly embarrassed friends drag her away. My friend and I look at each other again….
I can refuse the lesson requests because it will void my amateur status. Same with the requests to train minis to drive.
[QUOTE=Plainandtall;7947332]
As a commercial carriage driver I have lots of opportunity to be asked questions. For the most part I am polite and try to be informative. Some questions do get under my skin though because they are loaded with both ignorance AND judgement… in those cases I respond with full blown sarcasm silently inside my head and give a smiling sweet answer outwardly. Like, “Isn’t it too cold for the horse?” Yeah- because it’s so much warmer at home up on the hill- you think loading a horse on a trailer is hard- you should try dragging him out of the heated barn. Or… “Isn’t this Haaaarrrrd for him to do?” no dimwit… it’s ridiculously easy for him- he’s 18 hands and weighs 2000 lbs ferchrissakes… in fact I purposely bought a horse 2x bigger than I needed to do this job JUST so I wouldn’t be asked that question and that’s costing me, I figure, at least an extra grand a year in feed and shoeing- so I think you own me $50 just for pissing me off.[/QUOTE]
You know what might be a great answer for the “is it hard to pull this big carriage” kind of question-- find a way to say in lay terms how much force is needed to actually move the carriage. People see this giant thing the size of an SUV, and it does actually weigh a lot. They probably imagine it feels to the horse like pulling a car. But what they don’t intuitively “get” is that because of those large diameter narrow wheels it has, there is less far friction/inertia. Bottom line it takes relatively little energy to pull it. I’m no physicist so I’m not going to try to say that in more detail, but it seems like if you guys could get someone to boil down that concept into an answer average people can relate to, it might help. It would sound less like the drivers’ subjective opinion (which they won’t trust if the person is already anti-carriage).
“Nope, don’t race.”
I did have the following conversation with a coworkerthis past holiday season:
Me: I think I might go see the horse over thanksgiving.
Her: Are you going to feed him some turkey?
Me: …
Other coworker who does not ride: I think they are mainly herbivorous.
Her: Oh, they don’t eat birds?
…I just…
No.
Hungarianhippo- My real answer that comes out of my mouth is that before the horse is attached to the carriage I have to bring the carriage to him- which I can do with one hand. I then concede that the carriage is a little harder to pull when it has passengers- but their weight is supported by the wheels and not by the horse- so that would be like a woman pushing a grocery cart or a baby stroller. It’s why such a big deal is made out of “inventing the wheel”
There are people who actually went so far as to make videos showing people pulling the carriages because they were so sick of having to try to explain with words to disbelieving people.
This lady is really tiny- I think she’s about 5’2"… and this carriage is larger than your typical commercial carriage with an extra row of seating-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjEeytyMZN0
This pedicab rider swaps places with a horse (no they never show the horse ride a bicycle) but he one ups it and actually loads the carriage with 6 passengers (at about 4:30) this is a serious athletic feat- like crossfit crazy- it’s not easy for him to do I’m sure- but it is POSSIBLE for him to do. My horse can do the same thing without even using muscles- he just has to shift his center of gravity to put his own weight (not muscle) to set things in motion- at which point he just strolls with a forward lean.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQHesvabpl4
I would really love to some day do a scientific test to measure the actual load on various surfaces, inclines, speeds, vehicles, and numbers of passengers. Also to measure other efforts like plowing- or pulling larger vehicles with pairs of horses. Just to see the numbers.
The one I hate the most is when people ask my why I’m still in lessons.
“You’ve been riding 20 years, aren’t you good enough to teach by now??”
My standard response is something along the lines of Olympians have trainers and until I’m in the Olympics, so will I… What I really want to say is “Go eff yourself Mr./Ms. I-Have-Nothing-Left-to-Learn.”
I have come up with many ways to answer questions over the years.
Dressage: It is like figure skating but with a horse and rider. The higher you get in the levels the hard it is to do.
Eventing: Think triathlon. Horse and rider does 3 different sports. Dressage same answer as above, X-country running through fields jumping over things, and stadium Jumping or fences in a ring.
Horse care/keeping: Think of it like looking after a baby, you have to do it every day only they can go longer between feeds then a new born.
Cost of owning: Costs more then my husband thinks, and there will be no money to live my kids when I die.
Why are you still taking lessons: Like all sports there is different levels. Form just enjoying it to being very competitive at pro level. All competitive athletes have a coach to work on their weak points and to lean new things as they move up the levels.
Can I ride you horse; I’m sorry No.
I have the most problem with other riders when they ask what breed my horse is. When I say Belgian warmblood, they always think I mean Belgian draft because of how big he is. So I have gotten to the point I just say warmblood, then when they ask what type of warmblood I ask if they know what a Belgian warmblood is. Most time they say yes a draft horse. I always have to say "Not a Belgian draft, but Belgian WARMBLOOD. They are very different.
I’m delighted to see so many pleasant responses to this thread. Up until about two years ago, I was one of these “non-horsey” types myself. I’d always found horses intriguing, but sadly I never had the opportunity to experience them while growing up.
I’m sure I asked plenty of dumb questions in the past…and probably still do! Thanks for being gentle, everyone. :winkgrin:
Nobody has ever asked to ride my horse.
and then there’s the guy that just giggles when you mention riding your horse … :eek:
[QUOTE=Countrywood;7945149]
why be rude or smart alecky? Many people are genuinely curious, and they may love horses albeit from afar.
I’m sure many of us have asked skiers, runners, boaters, dancers, chefs (fill in the blank ), naive questions about their sport/passion[/QUOTE]
I could probably buy ten more horses if I had a dollar for every time I say I ballroom dance and get “Is it like ‘Dancing With the Stars’?” (Only in the sense that I dance with my teacher. Though I love getting the variant “Do you know anyone from DWTS” because I can say I’ve crossed paths with Maks a few times and Tristan and I worked for the same studio in Boston!)
I’m probably the person who has people backing away slowly because if you ask me about my horse I will talk your ear off! I’m different on the “can I ride your horse” because sure, I’m happy to let people ride Lucky, it just never seems to work out (except my friend’s kid, who at 4 had her first real horsey ride on Lucky. She’s 8 now and taking riding lessons.) As for the racehorses of whom I own an eyelash (
We have a ZILLION partners and those of us with single shares probably own three tails hairs or something like it), my poor parents spent all last weekend hearing about how Metaboss broke his maiden at Santa Anita, complete with being forced to watch the race. I’ll happily talk anyone’s ear off about him right now. (And then I have to talk about Arly because I feel guilty as he’s our problem child right now and is still a maiden.) About the only thing worse than asking me about my book is asking me about my horse!
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