Yes, just say no. No reason to make up a long list of excuses or reasons. If you want to give them a reason give one that is true and then politely change the subject.
To be helpful keep available the name and numbers of people who offer lessons so you can share that.
I like the sports car / motorcycle analogy from the last thread about this.
“If you had (insert name of expensive car/motorcycle here), would you let anyone else just jump in/on and drive it around?”
“No.”
“Exactly.”
I always just use the liability excuse. You use the “my horse isn’t suitable for beginners” excuse and you’ll always get that one person who thinks they/their child is an exception because they are so awesome/special/they’ve seen a few John Wayne movies and know how easy riding is. “My insurance doesn’t cover it, don’t care how great your medical coverage is, won’t stop your provider from suing me if you get hurt. No. Here’s the number to a lesson barn.”
Trespassing neighbors are dealt with differently. One stern “stay off the property, keep your kids off the property, no excuses no exceptions” is all they get. After that they get the police called on them. Every time. It’s taken a few go-rounds to get it through the heads of some of the more stubborn (read: entitled) neighborhood kids but it worked. Parents got sick of the cops beating on their door, we followed through with the threat to press charges and now we get no more unauthorized visits from the neighbors.
Haven’t read all of this but just wanted to share how we had to handle it some years back…
Our horse farm is at the end of a cul de sac out in the country…several mini-farms backing up to one another; carved out of the original massive farm. Neighborhood kids would come to the fence with/with out their parents and often ask if they could pet/ride the horses. We always tried to be neighborly and would accommodate in a reasonable fashion (lots of pets and a few “leadline” episodes). For most folks this was enough. Others would hound us and our “No” would have to get firm; not necessarily well received either. :-/ People would back off for the most part but we had an incident that ended up solving a lot for us in the long run…
2 neighborhood children were cutting through another farmer’s property to get to our back pasture fencing - woven wire with hot wire at the top. They fussed and fooled and dug out and created a spot where they could shimmy under the fence. They were coming through the back pasture and into the barn unseen - they were doing this is the afternoon between getting off the school bus and us getting home from work. Turns out they were catching horses and bringing them in the barn, grooming them, leading one another around bareback in the back field…given the disposition of one of the mares out there, it’s a freaking miracle no one got hurt…
I kept finding stuff out of place in the barn - halters not how I hang them, brushes left out in weird places - little stuff like that. The tack room was always locked up tight but halters and grooming equipment were hanging in the grooming stall and on shelves in there. Stuff just wasn’t right - my spidey senses were on high alert… One of these kids came down pretty frequently to trade out riding lessons for watching my daughter while I rode (these kids were 10/11 years old). She was in the barn one day when I - mainly just talking out loud to myself - started complaining about something sneaky going on. Kid starts crying and confesses what she and the other girl had been up to.
Understanding about being a horse crazy little girl and also understanding how quickly a person can get seriously injured by a horse, I contacted the parents of both kids and explained what had been going on - how the girls could’ve gotten hurt, etc. One set of parents couldn’t have been more apologetic. The other set, told me I was lying, blah, blah, blah. NOT cooperative at all. Sort of blamed it on us for having horses in a neighborhood where there were kids. (Uh, this was farmland first…) So to protect ourselves we contacted a lawyer for advice.
We ended up over-posting the entire property - we put up no trespassing signs where only the deer were likely to see them. We put up additional hot wire and flagged that, too, so that it was obvious that it was electrified. Then we sent a letter to everyone in the neighborhood - kids or no kids - and told them that we had made modifications to the fence that might harm them or their children if they were to reach over or through. We posted additional liability signage stating the NCGS re: equine liability. Basically we circled the wagons to protect ourselves. Horses are like swimming pools - an attractive nuisance. I also included info in the letter about lesson barns and other horse orgs in the area AND explained the inherent dangers with horses/ponies and gave a couple of examples of some freak but deadly accidents that had happened. Yes, I employed some scare tactics…but I didn’t want to come home and find someone’s comatose child in a heap in the back pasture.
I’m sure this sounds like overkill. BUT the letter was kind and informative and it did the trick. There were a couple of people who were sort of put off by it - the family of the sneaky child being one. The other family was like, “OH! I see why you had to do this…” once I explained the necessity of it.
Nowadays - I have all sorts of opportunities available for kids to come ride and be around the horses. I give folks a biz card and say check out the website. If they want riding, they pay. We’ve also recently started a 4-H club for the littlest ones so people can plug into that if they want. Otherwise, we may seem a little defensive when folks say, “Susie just wants to ride around the field one time…she’s a good rider. You know we rented horses on vacation one time!”… but we feel like it’s just being proactive to not get into those situations.
Good luck in resolving your situation. It’s a PITA - one of the blessings of horse ownership. 
This Exactly ~
[I]This exactly !
It may feel uncomfortable but allot less uncomfortable than when you have an injured neighbor child and a screaming :eek: neighbor parent ~
Be strong ~
" I don’t have that type of horse/ pony for beginners, who have no experience."[/I]
[QUOTE=FlashGordon;6991149]
Just Say No. Give them the name of a reputable lesson barn.
If they persist, blame it on liability.[/QUOTE]
Honestly, I’m not very nice. My mare is another one of those horses that was purchased for a song because she broke her previous owner’s back. So the last time someone asked if they could come over and ride, I literally laughed in their face and said “Only if you want to die.”
No is a complete sentence. And I’m sorry, if someone is rude enough to press, after you nicely said no…then it’s time to drop the nice.
I don’t mean to hijack the thread, but the OP said something that made me think…
My neighbors often allow their kids/grandkids to come up to my pasture fence (it’s along the property line) and pet my horses. Now, with my two old Morgans, this wasn’t an issue, but I have concerns with my young TB that he may get spooked, turn, and kick out, or really any of my horses may give a friendly “love bite” looking for treats. I’ve told them of the dangers and asked them to stop, but they keep on going saying they’re “farm people, and we understand how to be around horses.” Sigh. I can’t stop them, because they’re on their property, just reaching over the fence.
What is the liability issue if your horse is on your property (properly fenced in), someone else is on a neighboring property, and they get injured because they’re reaching over/through the fence?
I have this issue time to time. I just say no, I don’t have a horse they can ride that’s safe enough. Usually works.
In regards to my younger horse, I just say no. When they ask about my pony, I say “Sure, here is the number of the lady that teaches lessons on him. I am sure she would be happy to schedule a lesson with you.” Once they realize they will be charged for the lesson, they usually lose interest.
[QUOTE=morganpony86;6991442]
I don’t mean to hijack the thread, but the OP said something that made me think…
My neighbors often allow their kids/grandkids to come up to my pasture fence (it’s along the property line) and pet my horses. Now, with my two old Morgans, this wasn’t an issue, but I have concerns with my young TB that he may get spooked, turn, and kick out, or really any of my horses may give a friendly “love bite” looking for treats. I’ve told them of the dangers and asked them to stop, but they keep on going saying they’re “farm people, and we understand how to be around horses.” Sigh. I can’t stop them, because they’re on their property, just reaching over the fence.
What is the liability issue if your horse is on your property (properly fenced in), someone else is on a neighboring property, and they get injured because they’re reaching over/through the fence?[/QUOTE]
Hot wire and lots of signs. Yes, you have a liability. For one section of fence…where I was having a huge problem, I put in a second fence 12’ in with electric tape…I still have a hot wire on the top board of the perimeter fence as well.
[QUOTE=trubandloki;6991314]
Yes, just say no. No reason to make up a long list of excuses or reasons. If you want to give them a reason give one that is true and then politely change the subject.
To be helpful keep available the name and numbers of people who offer lessons so you can share that.[/QUOTE]
I strongly second this.
Have never understood the reasoning or felt the need to supply or fabricate long drawn-out stories. A simple but polite “Sorry, but none of my horses are suitable for that, and even if they were, I don’t carry the necessary insurance to cover outside riders.” End of story.
Wow what a timely thread. Just happened yesterday. A truck pulled in the driveway went to the neighbors we share the drive with. Start asking questions about if they can ride the horses. Neighbors allmost unpolietly inform them that all the horses here belong to us and are retired and kept as pets and NOT ridden. (I dont know why but our neighbors are very protective of us).
Then these people drive over to my DH in the driveway and start asking the same questions, about if they can ride, blah blah blah. DH says the blankidy blank riding stable is the next road up on the right. Person persists “my niece used to get lessons here, do you know blah blah?” DH says, No the blankidy blank riding stable is the next road up on the right. Person persists “well can I ride your horses?” DH says NO the blankidy blank riding stable is the next road up on the right.
Well 8 to 10 questions later they finally get the not so subtle hint from DH and the neighbors to go away. But what bothers me the most is that the whole time this is going on the lady has a ciggarette in her hand dangling out the window. And I was thinking you had better not drop that , or I will come out of my hiding place in the house, and you will find out why I have the nickname Hulk.
OK, rant over, I feel a little better. Calming calming… anyways sorry, thats how we deal with it.
[QUOTE=LauraKY;6991509]
Hot wire and lots of signs. Yes, you have a liability. For one section of fence…where I was having a huge problem, I put in a second fence 12’ in with electric tape…I still have a hot wire on the top board of the perimeter fence as well.[/QUOTE]
Great, thanks. I’ve had the hot tape up along the perimeter fence for a couple weeks but just got around to installing the charger and turning it on a couple days ago. My horses greatly respect hot tape and I’m not sure even golden carrots could encourage them to go within 3 feet of it. Here’s hoping that works.
“No.”
Ir doesn’t need anything else.
[QUOTE=morganpony86;6991442]
I don’t mean to hijack the thread, but the OP said something that made me think…
My neighbors often allow their kids/grandkids to come up to my pasture fence (it’s along the property line) and pet my horses. Now, with my two old Morgans, this wasn’t an issue, but I have concerns with my young TB that he may get spooked, turn, and kick out, or really any of my horses may give a friendly “love bite” looking for treats. I’ve told them of the dangers and asked them to stop, but they keep on going saying they’re “farm people, and we understand how to be around horses.” Sigh. I can’t stop them, because they’re on their property, just reaching over the fence.
What is the liability issue if your horse is on your property (properly fenced in), someone else is on a neighboring property, and they get injured because they’re reaching over/through the fence?[/QUOTE]
If they were “farm people” they would understand the liability involved and have a little more respect for your wishes.
We had the same issue with some neighbors that shared a property line. We put up 3 strands of hot wire between their property and the pasture fence and juiced that sucker up with the biggest charger we could find. No Trespassing signs every ten feet. They got the hint, took them and their kids getting zapped a few times but they got it. Same people we caught dangling a toddler a la Micheal Jackson over our fence to pet the evil mare with her outstretched neck and pinned ears, these people fancied themselves “country folk” because they bought a McMansion on a postage stamp lot in an exclusive subdivision bordering a farm.
Odds are your local laws consider your horse is an attractive nuisance just like a swimming pool. Burden is on you (and the rest of us with horses) to keep people off our property, off our fences, and out of biting/striking distance of our equines.
Unless your pasture fence literally sits on the property line then they are still stepping on your property to pet your horses over said fence, even if it’s just by a few feet. That would constitute a call the to local police every time I caught them hanging around my fence if it were me. Better to be “that person” calling the law every time they put a toe over the property line than to have to hire a lawyer because you’re getting sued because some jackhole who was told repeatedly to stay away from your fences got a finger bit off.
Visits from the local cops are free. Lawyers are not.
I vote for the truth - short and sweet.
I used to have the random passersby just stop when I boarded two mini’s up front near the road (d’oh!). I struggled with the right words back then - but now I just say, sorry, I can’t have visitors on my horses or in the barn for insurance reasons. And I have had a friend say, oh but I wouldn’t sue you! I said, no, but your insurance company would!
No is a complete sentence. And then change topic.
I learned that right here on COTH. :yes:
I have suggested barns with lesson programs, but when people realize they aren’t getting a FREE pony ride or gallop in the fields from you, they suddenly aren’t so interested in riding anymore.
Sure! Which one do you want to ride? The one that rears, the one that bucks, or the one that bites?
I say, “sure, love for you to come to see and pet my horses/babies. They love carrots. If your daughter/relative/friend wants to ride, I know someone who is great teaching riding lesson.”
