For the last 2ish months I’ve been really struggling with motivation for horses for the first time in my 22 years of existence. I just don’t feel like going out to the barn. I don’t feel like riding. My horse is amazing, he’s my once-in-a-lifetime horse so he’s not going anywhere but I just haven’t been in the mood to do anything more than give him some pets and treats. It’s awful. I don’t understand it. Part of it may be due to his constant up and down battle with KS. I think we’ve got it under control for now but only time will tell. Anyone else that has been in this spot, what got you out of your funk? What should I try? I literally do not know who I am without horses. They have been my life since before I could walk. It’s beyond strange to feel like if I had any other horse on earth, I’d be ok selling them and dropping horses for a while.
Yup, I’ve been there too.
But only in the winter when it’s a chore to go through the process:
Bring horse in, brush off mud, go get tack-- realize riding boots are back at the house-- go get boots, don’t want to leave house cos it’s warm in there, go back to barn, it’s now sleeting, horse has laid down in stall, hands are cold, horse is snoring, hay delivery guys show up, can’t find barn cat, feet are cold, picked up the wrong bridle, go back to tack room, friend calls with man problem, listen for 20 minutes, barn cat is now sleeping on horse, go back to house, sit on couch…realize it’s feed time.
Hang in there. I’ve been there, and find myself going back on a regular basis. My horse struggled for two years with on-off lameness issues that we couldn’t diagnose, despite doing every diagnostic we could through insurance. For me, having the history so fresh in memory makes it hard to push past. There’s always the “Wow, that was a great ride!!” followed by “Oh man…I hope he’s sound tomorrow…” followed by “Oh sh!t, I hope I didn’t break him by doing too many circles…” with the final conclusion of “I can’t do this anymore”. I know exactly what you mean when you say “If I had any other horse…” as that’s my same thought process. So many people have agreed with me on it too. My horse is super nice, easy to be around, fun to ride, and insanely talented (when he’s sound). If he were an asshole it would have been easier to find him a nice dressage or trail riding home and be done with it, moving on to something a little younger without history. But that’s not what happened.
You and I made a choice to love and keep our semi-broken horses. It’s not easy. Last fall I finally came to terms with what would have to happen if we couldn’t get him to stay sound. I cried, a lot. I got depressed, and the depression is still lingering.
I had to find another outlet, so I got back into working out and running. Find another outlet so you don’t feel so lost, and you still have something to do every day. Yoga? That’s a good one too.
My only advice is take it one day at a time. My horse had been sound for months until a recent shoeing blip made him lame and set us back two weeks. I would go out to hand walk (since he wasn’t being turned out), brush him, do carrot stretches, and leave. On the good days, get on and ride. On the bad days, don’t.
Best of luck. If you need to vent, feel free to send a pm. I know too well the emotions that go along with this.
I am there now, onliest I am waaayyy older than you!
Gave my saddle horse to a 10 year old girl, have two youngsters out there right now. Two two year olds. Haven’t a clue what I’m to do with them. I brush them, once out there, I’m okay, it’s getting out there. I can see them from my window right now.
Going to go with the flow for a while, see what happens. I wouldn’t mind riding, kind of wish I’d kept the saddle horse, but last January was injured pretty badly and still recovering. Slipped on ice while feeding the horses, ER visit, the whole nine yards. Thought it was 2006 and Lincoln was President, thought I was 49 years old (I wish!).
I have lost it a bit, am doing some other things for a bit. Other than military and big rig driving, with horses as my main focus all my life (not counting marriage and kids stuff) I’ve not done that much otherwise.
All I can say is to let it ride. As long as you can afford your horse, I think your pleasure will come back at some point. You might be burned out a bit. I used to feel guilty but no more. Been there, done that already, time to look at other things.
Timely thread! I’m almost twice your age, and I have three horses right outside my front door (okay, not RIGHT outside, but I can see them from the porch). I have just come of a…wait for it…YEAR LONG hiatus from riding. Honest to goodness, I went to a show last April and when I went out to ride last week I had to get my tack out of the horse trailer. I hadn’t ridden since.
There are multiple reasons for my lack of riding. One is that I’ve done it for figures in head almost 30 years. I’ve shown and competed that whole time, been at different barns, and have been here at home for almost 16 years. Having the horses here is a dream come true, but it’s also a lot easier to not ride because there’s no one around really noticing that your horse hasn’t been ridden in a year.
My herd consists of one full retiree (27), one semi-retiree (19), and the horse I’ve been showing for the past couple of years (8). All of them are sound to ride, even the 27 year old, and all have been successful show horses for me.
I think my main problem was my newest horse, the 8 year old, just hasn’t panned out to be the kind of horse I enjoy showing. I started and have done all the training on him and the 19 year old. I love the 8 year old to pieces, but he’s a chore to get shown, and he has some of his own issues, some respiratory and skin things (allergies, I suspect), and he simply does not LIKE showing. He gets agitated and it’s just not fun. He won a lot of blue ribbons, but they didn’t come easy.
So, after our last show I took time off. The weather helped with that decision ans I swear it rained the entire year I didn’t ride. I have no arena/ring, so I have to ride in my pastures and it truly hasn’t been dry enough to ride until recently. Thanks El Nino!
I’m also the kind that if I don’t have some sort of goal to work towards, I simply cannot get motivated. It just so happened that coming out of this winter, my 19 year old (who is the love of my life…best horse ever) was looking really poor. I realized that while still feeding and making sure they were alive, I had allowed him to decline in condition farther than I should have. So my motivation returned in the form of “Get Calvin healthy again.” He hasn’t been ridden in YEARS, but I knew that the one way I’d pay him a lot more attention would be to ride him. So I’ve started working him very lightly, grooming him daily, adjusting his feed and getting him on some helpful supplements (he’s metabolic…unconfirmed IR and/or pre-Cushings), and just generally giving him the TLC he was lacking.
Riding again is also part of MY fitness and weight loss program. I’ve never had weight issues, and I still don’t, but age 42 is not the time to suddenly stop the one physical activity that I do! I’ve gained weight and haven’t had the motivation to get rid of it…until now.
Surprisingly, old Calvin is quite happy to be back in work, and he’s very sound (hasn’t always been, on top of his other issues, he’s also got an old hind leg injury (severed tendon) that can cause him issues). He’s literally a miracle, born with contracted tendons, contracted e.coli and almost died as a baby, cut just under both stifles as a yearling in an attempt to escape a round pen, severed his extensor tendon on his right hind as a 2yo and lost a sequestered piece of infected cannon bone to that injury, has suffered bouts of cellulitis in that leg over the years, has struggled with being incredibly overweight once reaching maturity and into middle age, started developing chronic abscesses and foot-soreness due to suspected metabolic changes in his early-mid teenage years, then started having chronic diarrhea every winter which has led to his condition declining significantly over those months, especially this past winter. Oh, and along the way he cut his lower eyelid really badly a couple of years ago and sliced open his nose (right between his nostrils) when he was younger.
But! He’s still alive, and is actually really sound right now! I’ve been getting his nutrition adjusted to help with his metabolic issues and inflammatory issues and he’s really comfy and moving really well! And while the weight loss was not for a good reason this winter, he’s actually better off at the weight he’s at now than his once super-blimpy figure. So I’m determined to keep him healthy, active, and sound, and riding him is the way to do that.
And he’s going so well, I’m already hatching plans for taking him to at least one show this summer if not more. Hee hee!
Sorry about all the rambling. Like you, horses are kind of my identity and passion, and I was lost during the past year. I’ve always ridden and had SOMETHING I wanted to accomplish with one of my horses. I just couldn’t figure out what that was over the past year. It took my sweet Calvin looking like death warmed over to kickstart my motivation again.
So, do you have any goals for you and your horse? Are you bored with whatever you’re doing and need something new? A different discipline or class or something? Any lessons or clinics? Sometimes just going to a show and watching would do it for me. I’d stand around watching thinking, “Heck! My horses are better than these! We could compete here!” and I’d head home and get to work.
I hope you find your spark again, but don’t worry. Sometimes a hiatus is a good thing. You’re probably just figuring out what you actually want to do with your horse.
Sorry for my long-winded post. It was kind of therapeutic for me. LOL.
I feel you, OP. I did this in my early 20s (stopped showing juniors, got into college, retired my show mare, and . . . life happened). I did get back into it big time about five or six years later - got Alex and Bodie and a new trailer, started to be a working student again, and showed dressage.
Then, six years ago - I stopped again. I have not ridden since. That was due to several factors, not the least of which was a blow-up with my riding instructor, and not having another close enough for regular lessons. I have zero interest in ‘puttering around’ or trail riding, so - I gave it up. Alex is my once-in-a-lifetime horse, too - but there you are.
But I’ve gotten into other interests. I do photography, and I write novels, so I joined a writing group. I have an online shop that keeps me busy, and a full-time job on top of that. My friends now think it’s cool I still have horses, but they don’t, and they would never know what to do with them. And that’s okay.
People change. You may be in a period where you’ll start to look at other hobbies, or go to school, or whatever. Horses may or may not be part of that. You may come back to them when you’re older, like a lot of people do. Subconsciously, you might be waiting to see if your horse recovers from his issues. As long as your horse is happy and cared for, and you see him regularly, he’s probably enjoying the break, too.
Yes, yes, yes.
It will pass, and don’t force yourself to do stuff. You won’t enjoy it, and I think it makes it worse.
I’m more than twice your age, and I’m in a funk. I have a great, uncomplicated horse that is fun to ride. But it’s cold, it’s windy, it’s muddy, his hooves are too long, etc.
Where you and I differ I think, is that my main problem is rooted in fear. The older I get the more I’m afraid of the spook, or the bolt.
Now, I can’t stand when people lecture you about toughing it out, make yourself ride. BUT, I will say this. After I took an extended break when I was younger, it was tough to get back on, and I wish I had kept riding.
Nothing wrong with pauses, to reassess how you feel.
Not sure I’m in the same place you are; but after a six week lay off from foxhunting (I don’t like spring hunting due to poor footing and the weather has been off and on bad and I’ve not “felt” like riding) I’m going to do what works for me: I hire myself. I “pretend” that I’m a new trainer at my facility. I go to the barn, look at the mess the last trainer left me (myself, of course) and get busy setting things to right --repair stalls, clean tack, wash everything not nailed down, fix what needs fixing, replace what needs replacing. While I’m doing that I’m thinking about the horses on the place and setting goals for them (us). Granddaughter’s horse actually does go off the place for a month of tune up with a real trainer but I’ll clip, brush, pull, wash him for that; the retired horse will need some cleaning up too, but no riding for now. Then there’s my horse (WD-4D) who the last time I lunged him was an antelope on a rope --17 and he’s bouncing around me like he’s 2! Ok, so a few days of ground work, serious lunging, and we’ll start back in the saddle. Then I’ll set out to visit every horse park and camp ground in driving distance --last year we did 250 miles of riding in 11 days --too much!! this year we will only do day rides, with lunch of course, but I do want to see what’s out there around me (lived here 37 years, but never did anything but show and hunt --time for a change).
So that’s my advice. Hire yourself to do a month of training with your horse. Set goals, make out a schedule and be professional about your time with your horse.
Silly? maybe, but it has served me well every spring --and it’s kind of fun to me almost 70 and playing “make believe.” Geesh, when I was a kid playing with my Breyers I did the same thing!
Foxglove
[QUOTE=Rusty15;8610368]
For the last 2ish months I’ve been really struggling with motivation for horses for the first time in my 22 years of existence. I just don’t feel like going out to the barn. I don’t feel like riding. My horse is amazing, he’s my once-in-a-lifetime horse so he’s not going anywhere but I just haven’t been in the mood to do anything more than give him some pets and treats. It’s awful. I don’t understand it. Part of it may be due to his constant up and down battle with KS. I think we’ve got it under control for now but only time will tell. Anyone else that has been in this spot, what got you out of your funk? What should I try? I literally do not know who I am without horses. They have been my life since before I could walk. It’s beyond strange to feel like if I had any other horse on earth, I’d be ok selling them and dropping horses for a while.[/QUOTE]
I was a horse crazy child, got my own horse as a teen, rode through the first couple of years of college, then put horse out on pasture. Intended always to come back, get her, start up again . . . but never did, she lived out her life on pasture (quite happily). Finally returned to riding over 20 years later.
In my case, I don’t regret taking the time away from horses. I was never on anything remotely like a competitive or pro track. Letting go of horses allowed me to concentrate on education, jobs, social life, urban life, travel, graduate school, working overseas, etc. Holding onto horses would have held me back, kept me more in my teenage world, which was fairly limited. Getting back into riding eight years ago was, however, absolutely wonderful and I realize I never lost the part of my life that needed horses.
If various circumstances had been different, if for instance my parents had a ranch or I’d lived in a smaller town, I’m sure I would have kept riding casually through those 20 years, but it absolutely did not fit in my young adult life.
The thing that jumps out at me in the OP is the comment “I literally do not know who I am without horses” and if you had another horse, you’d be OK with selling him.
I’d say, if you don’t know who you are without something, then you need to go find out 
especially if you are young. You don’t want to be caught in any situation because you are afraid to step away and try something new, risk growing into a different person.
If and when I stop feeling thrilled at the chance to go to the barn every day, I will retire again from horses. If it isn’t a joy, if it starts seeming like a duty, then there is no place for it in life. Maybe even giving yourself permission to walk away, to explore alternatives, will make the time you do spend with your horse more pleasant again.
It also sounds like you are a bit overall sad, and maybe worried or anxious about other aspects of your life? If that’s the case, problem-solving there, maybe seeing a counsellor or doing some life coaching, might help if you are also having worries about education, career, jobs, life direction. Your twenties are the time you have to figure this all out, so I’d be surprised if there weren’t worries in the background about getting launched in life, and the role horses will play in the future for you.
[QUOTE=Foxglove;8613924]
Not sure I’m in the same place you are; but after a six week lay off from foxhunting (I don’t like spring hunting due to poor footing and the weather has been off and on bad and I’ve not “felt” like riding) I’m going to do what works for me: I hire myself. I “pretend” that I’m a new trainer at my facility. I go to the barn, look at the mess the last trainer left me (myself, of course) and get busy setting things to right --repair stalls, clean tack, wash everything not nailed down, fix what needs fixing, replace what needs replacing. While I’m doing that I’m thinking about the horses on the place and setting goals for them (us). Granddaughter’s horse actually does go off the place for a month of tune up with a real trainer but I’ll clip, brush, pull, wash him for that; the retired horse will need some cleaning up too, but no riding for now. Then there’s my horse (WD-4D) who the last time I lunged him was an antelope on a rope --17 and he’s bouncing around me like he’s 2! Ok, so a few days of ground work, serious lunging, and we’ll start back in the saddle. Then I’ll set out to visit every horse park and camp ground in driving distance --last year we did 250 miles of riding in 11 days --too much!! this year we will only do day rides, with lunch of course, but I do want to see what’s out there around me (lived here 37 years, but never did anything but show and hunt --time for a change).
So that’s my advice. Hire yourself to do a month of training with your horse. Set goals, make out a schedule and be professional about your time with your horse.
Silly? maybe, but it has served me well every spring --and it’s kind of fun to me almost 70 and playing “make believe.” Geesh, when I was a kid playing with my Breyers I did the same thing!
Foxglove[/QUOTE]
This is brilliant!!! Love it!
[QUOTE=Foxglove;8613924]
Not sure I’m in the same place you are; but after a six week lay off from foxhunting (I don’t like spring hunting due to poor footing and the weather has been off and on bad and I’ve not “felt” like riding) I’m going to do what works for me: I hire myself. I “pretend” that I’m a new trainer at my facility. I go to the barn, look at the mess the last trainer left me (myself, of course) and get busy setting things to right --repair stalls, clean tack, wash everything not nailed down, fix what needs fixing, replace what needs replacing. While I’m doing that I’m thinking about the horses on the place and setting goals for them (us). Granddaughter’s horse actually does go off the place for a month of tune up with a real trainer but I’ll clip, brush, pull, wash him for that; the retired horse will need some cleaning up too, but no riding for now. Then there’s my horse (WD-4D) who the last time I lunged him was an antelope on a rope --17 and he’s bouncing around me like he’s 2! Ok, so a few days of ground work, serious lunging, and we’ll start back in the saddle. Then I’ll set out to visit every horse park and camp ground in driving distance --last year we did 250 miles of riding in 11 days --too much!! this year we will only do day rides, with lunch of course, but I do want to see what’s out there around me (lived here 37 years, but never did anything but show and hunt --time for a change).
So that’s my advice. Hire yourself to do a month of training with your horse. Set goals, make out a schedule and be professional about your time with your horse.
Silly? maybe, but it has served me well every spring --and it’s kind of fun to me almost 70 and playing “make believe.” Geesh, when I was a kid playing with my Breyers I did the same thing!
Foxglove[/QUOTE]
This is brilliant!!! Love it!
