OP don’t forget to email me if you have a court date and I’ll give you advice on how to dress and how to speak and how to handle yourself. And people are right, do not talk to him if he does call you. If he contacts you in anyway, cell, email, etc., simply say you cannot talk to him and give him your lawyer’s name and phone # to contact. Then he cannot say that you cursed him or hung up on him or anything like that.
If he should try to “make up” with you, before you do or say ANYTHING, make sure you get concessions in writing, such as his guaranty to support you and your daughter and your animals in exchange for a reconciliation. Not that you would take him back, but just in case he asks you to think about that.
No Worries Cloudy, we are NOT on speaking terms :). And I will for sure let you know when there is a date for court. We are hammering out things still…making up is not even on the table. or in the room ;).
I’ve been divorced for 3 years, haven’t seen the ex in 2 years, last contact was via email over a year ago for some title issues with the car and I needed a signature. Guess who emailed me last week, wanting sympathy that he was alone and miserable? He even had the audacity to tell me his tale of woe about his girlfriend leaving him-- you know, the girlfriend he was dating while still married to me, and ultimately decided she was the better deal! My ex sounds a lot like your ex, down to not calling to check after a huge storm. Don’t be surprised when he emails you in a few years when his fantasy world implodes.
[QUOTE=crewgirl34;7270520]
I’ve been divorced for 3 years, haven’t seen the ex in 2 years, last contact was via email over a year ago for some title issues with the car and I needed a signature. Guess who emailed me last week, wanting sympathy that he was alone and miserable? He even had the audacity to tell me his tale of woe about his girlfriend leaving him-- you know, the girlfriend he was dating while still married to me, and ultimately decided she was the better deal! My ex sounds a lot like your ex, down to not calling to check after a huge storm. Don’t be surprised when he emails you in a few years when his fantasy world implodes.[/QUOTE]
I hope you e-mailed him back with a bunch of laughing emoticons.
My stepbrother got divorced earlier this year; Brian is the sweetest, most generous and responsible guy I know and a wonderful dad to his two daughters. I won’t go into ex-wife, but suffice it to say that the entire family finally got to let out the breath it had been holding collectively for 18 years and say quietly, “oh jeez, I never liked her from Day 1.”
All Brian wanted was shared custody of the girls, who are in their early teens, but wife of course wanted 100%. She’s actually a good mom, just super-super-super-overprotective, paranoid, and a raging hypochondriac drama queen. In court she kept saying, “my girls, my girls, MY girls, MY girls. . . .” and finally the judge stopped one of her rants and said, “Ms. C - they are not YOUR girls. Enough of that, I do not want to hear it again.”
I think she probably turned her attorney into a raging alcoholic. Repeatedly ran down her husband in front of the girls, showed her ass in front of the judge more than once. . . . he remained quiet and steady and and patient and got the shared custody he sought. Even now he’s taking the high road - never, EVER says anything negative about his ex to anyone.
Point being - let his behavior speak for itself. Your daughter is also old enough that her viewpoints will be taken seriously with regards to the custody/visitation issue.
Don’t know if this is appropriate for this thread or not but it may give you a chuckle. My husband’s cousin sent us a Christmas letter a few years ago with a description of their rather unusual Thanksgiving dinner. The company included her sister and her sister’s wife, along with their adopted children. Deb’s husband’s son’s ex-girl friend and son’s and girl friend’s baby. (Son was not there but ex was welcome.) This rag tag band was rounded out by Deb’s ex-husband and his infant. Seems the woman he had married after leaving Deb, had decided she didn’t want to raise a child and had packed up her van, taken the dogs and moved back to Alaska! Deb’s description of all this was far funnier (picture us howling with laughter as we read the letter) but the set-up could be made into a comedy. And of course Deb let the ex come for dinner, after all she was happily married, had a great relationship with her kids and did not have to change diapers at mid-night.:lol:
[QUOTE=cheval convert;7270538]
Don’t know if this is appropriate for this thread or not but it may give you a chuckle. My husband’s cousin sent us a Christmas letter a few years ago with a description of their rather unusual Thanksgiving dinner. The company included her sister and her sister’s wife, along with their adopted children. Deb’s husband’s son’s ex-girl friend and son’s and girl friend’s baby. (Son was not there but ex was welcome.) This rag tag band was rounded out by Deb’s ex-husband and his infant. Seems the woman he had married after leaving Deb, had decided she didn’t want to raise a child and had packed up her van, taken the dogs and moved back to Alaska! Deb’s description of all this was far funnier (picture us howling with laughter as we read the letter) but the set-up could be made into a comedy. And of course Deb let the ex come for dinner, after all she was happily married, had a great relationship with her kids and did not have to change diapers at mid-night.:lol:[/QUOTE]
Sounds like an episode from Reba! :lol:
Latest update, because I’ve received some messages 
Thank you!
I found an EXCELLENT home for the Haflinger, right here in town. He’ll be a babysitter full time, and do some light driving at walk for the kids. He will be in heaven.
My car was totaled on Saturday when a driver went through a red light. I never saw it coming…glad to be alive, and just sore from the air bags.
Today, my brother actually passed. I didn’t mean to be misleading, but he’s been in a vegetative state for 34 days…it was just too hard to explain and too hard to relive whenever people would ask how he was doing. We said goodbye so many times, it was emotionally exhausting. He’s at rest and I can’t wait to see him again some day. He was an amazing man who served this country in several conflicts and 2 wars.
Jingles are always appreciated. There are days when it feels that there is an asteroid hurdling toward earth with my name on it. Other days it feels like things can’t possibly get any worse so I feel positively hopeful. Then there are days like today, when I don’t know what to feel…thanks so much everyone, for the kind thoughts and messages.
Godspeed. Continued jingles for all involved.
Thoughts and prayers and (hugs)) & tears for you ~ and JINGLES & AO ~
[I]
Thoughts and prayers and ((HUGS)) & tears for you ~
and of course some JINGLES & AO ~
Jingle Jingle Jingle & AO ~ AO ~ AO ~ Always Optimistic
I am SO sorry that life is beating you up ~
Please know many of us are carrying you and your daughter in our hearts ~
Sending Jingles laced with strength and peace ~
Again I am SO sorry ![/I]
take care, hundredacres. We’re pulling for you for happier days ahead.
OK girl, do what I’ve NEVER done when I was totaled in a wreck: Get a lawyer to get you pain and suffering $, a rental car paid for, and a new car. You’ll find that the insurance company won’t want to pay for a car that was as good as yours, so you’ll get stuck with car payments. I sure wish I’d hired my ex-boyfriend the big personal injury lawyer when an 18 wheeler totaled my 2 dogs and cherokee years ago. I was too upset over the death of 2 of my aussies in the wreck. Do it now! And document your pain and soreness. You can use a journal, which is evidence in court. No I’m not saying fake anything, but insurance companies pay for thousands to people who make fraudulent claims, so since your claim is legitimate, make it. You have to have a good lawyer though.
And while it looks like you are being beaten to the ground, remember others have it worse. Everytime something bad happens to me, I think of my friends who have died from terminal illnesses or have suffered chronic real pain for years but who lived every day and made their lives better. Makes anything that happens to me seem inconsequential. While you travails are NOT inconsequential, you have your health and your daughter and you can get through this. Just do as my friend and I did when so many bad things were happening to us and our horses in 2006: Don’t say it cannot get any worse, just bear it and keep on going and things will get better. I don’t know why good people have to suffer when bad people prosper, I used to ask my mother that when I was a teenager and she did not have the answer, but you just bear it and keep on going and soldier on. And things will get better.
Get either the lawyer you already have on the accident case or hire a personal injury lawyer who is a shark. Sharks win in court. And you need the money to get a new car, and get yourself in shape. Heck, I went on to court for a trial after one wreck at 7am (drunk driver and a GA Tech student to boot!) when I should have gone to the hospital. So get some rest and let the idiot who hit you pay for it.
Things will get better! I still don’t have the answer as to why good people are made to suffer, decades after I asked my mother that question in church. She still doesn’t have the answer either, LOL.
Let this incident make your more hardened and resolute in your divorce proceedings. I believe in displacement, so displace your feelings towards your husband and towards the person who hit you and your car.
[QUOTE=crewgirl34;7270520]
I’ve been divorced for 3 years, haven’t seen the ex in 2 years, last contact was via email over a year ago for some title issues with the car and I needed a signature. Guess who emailed me last week, wanting sympathy that he was alone and miserable? He even had the audacity to tell me his tale of woe about his girlfriend leaving him-- you know, the girlfriend he was dating while still married to me, and ultimately decided she was the better deal! My ex sounds a lot like your ex, down to not calling to check after a huge storm. Don’t be surprised when he emails you in a few years when his fantasy world implodes.[/QUOTE]
Time to sing “Here’s a quarter, call someone who cares…”!
Cloudy, I still laugh every day and people laugh with me (I’m so lucky my friends have a twisted sense of humor like me) :)…it’s in private when I get a little nagging feeling that things are getting worse. But even then I know things always do get worse before they get better. And no matter what, I am better off without the STBEH. My daughter and I are so much more content with life - I couldn’t go back for a million bucks. For anything.
I’ll talk to my attorney before I sign anything from my insurance company. Something that I worry about though is my insurance company wants to pay me up front, and then go after the other co. How do I know what THEY get out of them? I don’t know why this bothers me. I have the rental car already - Progressive seems to be awesome about that. There were witnesses and one was an off-duty policeman…so it’s not going to be disputed.
What I’m finding the hardest to do right now, is pay my bills. Not because I don’t have the money, but because I’m afraid to have my bank account go down. I’m really, really struggling with it - it’s almost an overwhelming urge to not pay anything so the money stays put. It’s the weirdest thing. I’m not behind but it’s been an emotional struggle to get things paid on time…armchair psychologists?
HA, I am so sorry about your brother; sending love and (( hugs )) to you both. C&C’s been a godsend to you so far. I’m glad you are ok after the accident.
If you have a deductible, be sure to tell your insurance company that you also want them to sue for your deductible back as well. I did, and it took a year before they settled but I got that back too.
Hey hundredacres, just checking in to see how you are apres-holidays. I understand your reluctance to let go of your money. It’s scary. this is all about adjustment to a new and better life so keep your chin up and your eyes forward, just like your trainer always told you!!!
LOL moonriver…“Look up Dammit! Look at the treetops over there!”…that’s what she would say :).
My daughter and I went to the movies for Thanksgiving and hit Cracker Barrel for dinner because that was all that was open. Honestly, it was fun. No pressure, no boring as hell in laws…
My daughter is an amazing kid and is still handling this well. I’m so proud of her…she keeps me going :).
Just loaded the Haflinger onto the trailer headed to his new family 3 miles away. He’s going to be fine there, his new mom is best friends with my vet and they are fabulous horse keepers - and she works with me. While all of the planets seem out of whack, this was a good thing in all of this.
The pony will be euthanized on Wednesday afternoon. 
[QUOTE=hundredacres;7297291]
Just loaded the Haflinger onto the trailer headed to his new family 3 miles away. He’s going to be fine there, his new mom is best friends with my vet and they are fabulous horse keepers - and she works with me. While all of the planets seem out of whack, this was a good thing in all of this.
The pony will be euthanized on Wednesday afternoon. :([/QUOTE]
((((((HHHUUUGGGSSS)))))). Hard but you know it’s the right thing.
We’ll be thinking about you!
