Being lunged correctly at the trot with no stirrups is great.
The horse must have the muscle for you to sit. It is said they invite you to sit.
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I’m dealing with this right now, went from quarter horses to an Appendix who looks like a lanky QH but does not have a quarter horse trot. I canNOT sit it. I know I tend to be tilted too forward and I brace in my thighs and ankles, and I don’t want to do it too much because he is so young and learning to carry himself so the last thing he needs is someone thumping his back. But then when I am instructed to sit the trot before asking for a canter transition, I can’t do it right. Very frustrating. I finally got a dressage saddle so hoping once I get my position correct and him stronger, it will help.
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There are great answers on this thread. Just a couple more items may help. Check to see if you are perched on your crotch instead of your seat bones. That can affect your seat tremendously. The saddle has to fit you too as well as the horse or it’s much harder as you try to stay upright in an uphill or downhill saddle. Remember to relax your hips side to side as well as front and back. It’s a jogging flexible sexy woman movement for your hips as well, not a braced position. Let that booth move with the horse. Sing a very rhythmic song with a steady beat. Anything. Row row row your boat. Sometimes I sing Wendy from the 1960s. “Who’s peeking out from under that stairwell…” Preferably one that invites you to dance so you want to move that booty. It helps the horse develop its trot. It fits the German riding scale for rhythm. It engages your core. It requires breathing. It loosens the rider. Belt it out. It gets harder as one ages and again singing engages your core muscles, helps you breathe, loosens your tight jaw, provide rhythm, and helps you loosen up. Make a joyful noise. The horse doesn’t care. The other riders and your trainer will laugh, join in, or not even notice as they focus on their rides. Good luck.
Oh dear…
Looked at some photos that were posted from the last show…no wonder I was feeling so bad, my legs were creeping way back, and I was tipping forward.
Had a lesson today, said that was all I wanted to work on, so we did, and I HURT.
Took my stirrups up one, so I’m not reaching down so badly. Concentrated on keeping butt under me, legs hanging straight, and WOW, what a difference.
Both Chuck and I were a lot happier, didn’t try sitting this time, just lots and lots of transitions, and it just felt great. Biggest thing I had started pinching with my knees, not sure when that started, but it feels so much better when they are relaxed.
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Progress is good, even when it hurts! 
A nice hot bubble bath with some Epsom or bath salts will cure that.
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