Instructor cancelling lessons with little notice

[Spudsmyguy]

Not an instructor but a vet I had an appointment with just didn’t show up and never called to say he was on an emergency or had some other reason. He did that twice and the third time, I left him a very angry v-mail telling him my time is just as important as his and this is the third time you haven’t shown up and from now on I’ll be taking my business elsewhere. He even called the barn and told the BO that he’d be out at such and such a time and they waited for him and he didn’t show up.

I started using another vet and he told me he was surprised Dr. No Show had any clients since that was a normal occurrence for him.

I’d start looking for a new barn to ride at if she’s continually cancelling lessons that (I assume) you’ve already paid for. This is just not okay.

[eightpondfarm]

My coach offered me an 8:30 time for my lessons this week. I declined. I’d have to get up and get going at 4am to do that and i’m in it for fun, not hardship. There are plenty of horsey things i can do here, so i won’t be missing ‘horseness’. But i’m really not making much progress at this rate.

[tabula_rashah]

I feel like this is pretty normal in the horse world but… that doesn’t mean you have to like it and stay with that program. If it’s not what you are looking for, there’s nothing wrong with looking into other lesson programs

[Katie81]

I’m an adult rider who has only ever leased or taken lessons on school horses. I’ve changed barns a lot throughout the years just because circumstances change. What you are describing doesn’t sound terribly uncommon but I could see how it could be an annoyance. I would start looking around if there are other barns in your area. Maybe check to see if private boarding barns have boarders looking for quarter/half-leasers. That is what I am doing now, and I take a lesson a couple of times a month from an instructor who travels out to the barn. It has worked a lot better for me as a working adult than all of my experiences at lesson barns.

[Spudsmyguy]

I took a few lessons from a local trainer who was habitually an hour late in starting. I stopped when I hauled over there and was all saddled and ready and she forgot to tell me that she was having a group over for some event that the people needed to learn about horses for some competition they were in. I hung around for a while and waited for her to acknowledge me but finally left and didn’t go back.

[123chickadee]

Wow how rude, I don’t blame you for leaving!

[endlessclimb]

… you want to show, right?

[eightpondfarm]

i’m actually ambivalent about that. I want to learn for sure though.

[endlessclimb]

The days start SUPER early most times for showing, particularly if you’re braiding in the morning or have a haul to get where you’re going.

Hopefully your instructor finds you a better time.

[eightpondfarm]

My days always begin early. (I have a farm, my days also end late btw)
My point is that my priority is not getting up at 4 to feed and water everyone, then load to drive three hours r/t because it’s too hot for my coach. I work all day every day in this weather. I’m not going out of my way that much to accommodate somebody else’s thermometer. If she wants, she can drive here. I’ll pay her gas and i’ll buy in an extra lesson, making it three lessons i’m paying for that day. Inside, with a fan. That’s what i offered. She doesn’t want to do that. So i’ll just skip lessons until it’s cool enough for her. Not that big of a deal to me. Like i said, i have a lot of horses i’m training for other stuff…i will be getting plenty of horse-time!

[2DogsFarm]

@123chickadee

Maybe this is a sign I need to get my own horse so I don’t have to rely on other people’s schedules haha

Assuming you added the “haha” to show you’re joking…

You admit to bring a re-rider.
How accomplished a rider were you & how long has your hiatus been? What - if any - are your goals with returning to riding?

I ask, because my break from riding happened at age 15, taking it up again in my early 30s.
As a re-rider, I had no goal beyond wanting to ride again.
From a weekly lesson, that morphed into shareboarding & showing at a regional level for about 5yrs before I bought a horse & continued showing Hunters, then went on to Dressage & Eventing. All non-competitive, done for fun & weekly lessons continued with 2 different trainers for the next 15yrs.
With the shareboard, I rode a couple days on my own, outside of lessons.

For the last 18yrs I’ve had horses at home & until a couple years ago, had a Dressage trainer coming to my farm every other week.
First COVID, then finances put an end to formal lessons (that I miss).
But I still ride - admittedly infrequently - & in the past 10yrs have taken up Driving. I took about 6mos of weekly lessons for this new sport & bought a mini 6yrs ago.
I do the occasional drive with my local Club & showed the mini at Fair from 2017 to last year.
This year I may skip Fair with the Show requirement of overdressing in the heat.

Sorry to ramble, but your current trainer would not have served me to attain my present lowkey goals of being a competent Rider/Driver with the ability to enjoy both my horses on my terms.

[Xanthoria]

@123chickadee

I am a re-rider and have 2 standing lesson slots (I lesson on school horses), 1 during week and 1 on the weekend. Pretty much every week, one of them gets cancelled, usually the day of or day before. Various reasons both personal and related to the barn (ie summer camp wore out the horses so they are too tired for your lesson despite the fact that I confirmed 2 days ago your lesson was good to go despite camp), or migraines etc… It’s not just me who gets cancelled but it will be multiple people’s lessons.

1. Tally up the reasons for cancellation, and the number of cancellations so you can be factual about what is happening when you
2. …speak to her. Say “I love my lessons! I’m keen to make progress but x out of the last x lessons have been canceled. I rearrange my days to accommodate lessons - I just want you to know that I understand life sometimes gets in the way, but this seems out of whack. Is everything OK?” then
3. … be quiet and listen to what she says.

If she’s defensive or shocked, apologetic or conciliatory, you can base your next move off that: Either wait to see if a) she improves to your satisfaction or b) move elsewhere right away.

But at the end of the day, you want lessons more than she wants to give them I’m afraid…

[Impractical_Horsewoman]

Just to note—I had my lesson cancelled this week, because it’s going to be nearly 100F for a high every single day, and the schoolmaster I ride is older and doesn’t like the heat. My instructor also has client horses she trains in the early morning when it’s cooler, so switching around her schedule isn’t an option. But we texted about the forecast days in advance to make a decision, which allows me to plan for other things.

I’ve definitely had instructors in the past who wanted the income, so would put pressure on me not to cancel (despite my asking) if the weather was predicted to be extreme, and then at the last minute cancel, so I appreciate the fact my current trainer has respect for my time, just like I respect the precious few cool early hours are for the horses that are the bread-and-butter of her operation.

[trubandloki]

@eightpondfarm

because it’s too hot for my coach.

I would assume the too hot applies to working your horse in a lesson more than your trainer.

[SuzieQNutter]

@Xanthoria

K

Embrace technology. With a new phone and robotic camera for you and your coach, you can ride at home and she can see you and give you a lesson.

[FjordBCRF]

I’d feel the same way. Due to stress and fatigue, convenience plays a big role in my life. Certain things I am happy to accommodate and take a hit on, but when things that shouldn’t be a hassle get to be too much of one, that’s generally when I accept a change of plans. I am with you that starting the day at 4AM for a lesson would be a no go for me too. Like you, I could find plenty of other ways for horse time. That’s too bad she didn’t take you up on your offer!

[FjordBCRF]

To OP, I have been with my current trainer now since the beginning of May who travels to my barn for lessons. She has not cancelled on me once and is very punctual about start/stop times. She’s never been so much as late to a lesson. I would expect cancellations (on both sides) to happen for things like illness, being out of town, or the weather, or a true emergency. Personally, for a lesson I will push my boundaries a little if I am not feeling 100% or it’s a little hotter than I prefer (but still ok for pony). I can’t speak to that for my trainer or not, but I don’t get the impression she would cancel unless absolutely nessecary.

I wouldn’t be happy with your trainer at all. I find things like canceling with short notice it to be disrespectful, mostly when it happens repeatedly and there is a pattern. I look at it from the lens that I arranged my schedule to accommodate lessons in this case, and if I had known ahead of time they would have been cancelled, I may have planned my day differently. Would it be acceptable to your trainer if you were the one cancelling with short notice each week? Maybe it would, some people care about this kind of thing less than I do. But if it wouldn’t be, why is ok for her to do it to you? Your time is just as valuable as the money she makes each lesson.

[SusanO]

Yes to this! I noticed a post on Facebook a while back where someone’s daughter was getting a lesson from her Olympic trainer in real time via computer. She ( the rider) had on headphones and was getting instruction from her trainer as she was riding. It sounded fabulous! I am a techno dinosaur so I don’t know how this all worked but it sounded like something very valuable when you don’t exactly live in a dressage mecca and you want a knowledgeable pair of eyes on the ground. Now if you are using a school horse this won’t work.

[123chickadee]

Wow I would actually love to do exactly what you have done! I was not a very accomplished rider when younger because I was not able to do it consistently, unlike now (now it’s my instructor who can’t teach me consistently!). And I would love to have my own horse or even lease but I don’t feel like I have the necessary skills yet (during my early riding days we were not allowed to tack up or groom horses at those barns in a metro area, just get on and ride). And it’s hard to gain those skills with average of 1 lesson a week which happens when all the stars are aligned.

[123chickadee]

exaclty, I do arrange my schedule around my lessons which is one of the reasons this is frustrating. And what I do know is that if I canceled last minute she would be ok with it, probably so that she has the same autonomy to do so.