Instructor late to lessons and often distracted WWYD

[Impractical_Horsewoman]

The barn isn’t going to change. Even if you have a come-to-Jesus meeting with coffee and doughnuts with the instructor, maybe, maybe your daughter’s lesson will start on time once. (Although I wouldn’t give coffee and doughnuts to an instructor who wasn’t giving me her time and attention.)

But in a barn where there isn’t enough help and a low commitment on the instructor’s level, it’s not going to change week to week.

So many lesson barns are like this. The kids pick up skills from just being on a horse, not because the instructor is doing or saying anything but telling them to jam their heels down or having them perch in two point. The instructor probably doesn’t really know how to teach (at least not beginners or small children) or is totally burnt out is incapable of seeing what kids might need to progress (which requires observing kids). Or maybe there’s just too many students and not enough help. That’s not your problem.

I really wouldn’t pay money to have a child ride around at a walk for less than the allotted lesson time, perhaps picking up bad habits, while the instructor is on the cellphone.

I agree, ride at home, get an instructor for the kid at home. Take advantage of the situation you have (a pony). Give the good instructor your hard-earned money and buy her coffee and doughnuts instead, just for being awesome. If your child wants social time with others, join another activity (with a competent instructor).

Also, if the instructor has 5 students in every lesson, and 4 have parents who are absolutely satisfied with nearly no instruction and things starting late, it’s actually easier for her to get rid of you (sorry OP) and find another student with parents who are happy with chaotic lessons and she can just happily post on Facebook the entire time. I personally have never been at a barn that changed ANYTHING because someone complained. There was usually a reason things were done the way they were, even if it wasn’t “correct” or “ethical.”

[Bogie]

@OverandOnward

We decided to move my lesson time and that solved my problem. I did suggest that she would not get complaints from students if she did not schedule lessons during that time, and in fact after that she didn’t!

This gives me a thought. You could ask the trainer if there is another time slot that would work better for her given that she’s often distracted during your daughter’s lesson and that the lessons have been starting consistently late. This gives the trainer a way to address the issue without, perhaps, getting defensive.

Given the price of diesel going up, maybe your daughter could ride the barn’s horses sometimes, too. When I was a kid we always swapped horses and it taught me a lot to ride different ones. Maybe not every time, but enough to take the burden (and cost) away from you.

You could also combine lessons at the barn with having an instructor come to your house – maybe 50:50. That way your daughter still gets to socialize with her peers, but you have someone focused on your daughter.

I have had instructors over the years who were perpetually late and it use to bug the heck out of me. I only stayed with the ones who really helped me when it was my turn. I’ve also had the constantly distracted ones (couldn’t fix that) and the mean ones. I moved on from those, although I live in a place with an abundance of instruction so it’s relatively easy to find someone new.

[Bending_Line]

Couple of different suggestions–can you ask to move to the last class of the day, and cite that that way, if the lesson starts late, your daughter can stay later and still get her full hour? If the instructor says that wouldn’t work, ask what else can be done to make sure your daughter is not getting penalized for a late start by others.

Can you volunteer to help corral the other kids back in the barn and get them organized out to the ring so that the instructor can get to the ring earlier to help your daughter? It sounds like they are short handed on supervising the kids that need to groom and tack. You sound knowledgeable–maybe the easiest solution is to be a helping set of hands (even though you are a paying customer!)

[Bristol_Bay]

I have personally dealt with this situation, but I was also new to the barn (but not the instructor). I handled it by saying, “I just want you to know that I appreciate a lesson that starts on time and is more rigorous.” She responded by saying oh yeah, she knew the other people were used to showing up late and doing a lot of cruising around the ring, and she said she’d talk to the other people, and she did. As it happens, I switched lesson days to avoid the chronic latecomers, as well as the problem client with the constant drama. Even with all that, I many times feel I’m not getting my money’s worth.

[StormyDay]

I wouldn’t be surprised if the reason the lessons are starting late is because the other riders don’t own their horse and their hour/hour and 15 min time slot includes tack up. It’s not uncommon to do that; heck, even I do. But, I’m upfront about it and would never combine people who own and those who don’t. Anyone on their own horse gets the full hour.

I also think talking it over with the trainer will go over like a pile of bricks. She knows what she is doing is wrong, but she doesn’t care; maybe she knows she’s the only game in town, or maybe she doesn’t really need clients. Some trainers don’t; they have people financing everything.

If you really like her instruction, then after a lap or two of walking I’d just have your daughter start working her horse. Trot around, do poles, whatever. If she asks what you are doing, just say that she looked busy so you told your daughter to work her horse.

But if you aren’t that thrilled with her, find someone else locally, do video lessons, trailer farther away once a month to someone else.

I once went to a trainer for a lesson who was highly regarded, very accomplished, and well known on the circuit. I showed up with my horse and there was no one there except the groom who spoke little English, he just pointed to the arena and said go in there. I tacked up, went into the arena, and waited about 10 minutes past the lesson start time. She didn’t show. So I started riding around and working my horse. She waltzed up about 30 minutes late. I asked if she had forgotten the lesson, to which she said ‘no, I didn’t forget, but you know how to warm up don’t you? Or do you need me to babysit you as you trot around?’

That was the first and last lesson with her.

[anon38350891]

@Impractical_Horsewoman

The barn isn’t going to change. Even if you have a come-to-Jesus meeting with coffee and doughnuts with the instructor, maybe, maybe your daughter’s lesson will start on time once. (Although I wouldn’t give coffee and doughnuts to an instructor who wasn’t giving me her time and attention.)

But in a barn where there isn’t enough help and a low commitment on the instructor’s level, it’s not going to change week to week.

I agree with this. It sounds a like a disorganized barn with a distracted instructor/barn manager, and to me this could actually be dangerous. Wandering around distracted, cell-phone chatting, kibitzing with buddies in amongst thousand-pound animals and young-uns is just not a great idea.

A bunch of us adults were in a lesson program with an instructor like this, only add in a few cocktails on her part, early in the day. One day she got up from her stool and fell flat on her face. I will never understand why we all put up with her that long - but that tore it and we moved. My horse did get a face injury from being stuck in cross-ties during some machinery work. And kids fell off, etc.

OP, if you have any other possibilities, I’d explore them.

[BlueDrifter]

I like the recommendations to ask for a different slot so your daughter can get in a full, less-distracted lesson. Gets the point across even if another time slot isn’t available.

I was also thinking you could use the Equilab app to measure exactly how much time is spent w-t-c and see if it matches with your perception. Perhaps the trainer would be surprised too.

[olim2005]

My daughter is not old enough for riding lessons but she takes art lessons and dance as a toddler and each instructor has never used their phone during a class. These lessons have been free or significantly cheaper then riding lessons. Unfortunately, horse riding instructors are notorious for being distracted. I have seen so many barely pay attention, on their phones, talking to others, etc.

I am in a similar situation for my lessons. I started taking lessons with someone new. The first lesson was great, the second one she had her kids and was so distracted. The kids were everywhere and this was at my place. They made a huge mess and it felt like a liability. I plan on doing the three strikes and your out, see how the next lesson goes.

If your daughter really wants stay with the barn your are going to need to talk to the trainer. Just be nice and tell them the truth. Maybe ask for a less distracting/busy time and she will pick up on the hint…if you don’t want to actually talk that could be an option. From my personal experience, you may have to find a new place. Riding instructors tend to be strong willed.

[anon15718925]

So - I’m probably too late for OP but reading this thread (maybe someone suggested this and I scrolled right by) it sounds like OP’s daughter does get benefit generally from group lessons in that she’s around her peers.

Would it be possible to explore the other barn in the area but also, maybe, whether this is (was) discussed w/current instructor or whether you just outright move, consider taking group lessons less frequently (e.g. once or twice a month) and then having an instructor come to you at your place weekly to work on the more fine-tune type things. Just floating this b/c it sounds like OP’s daughter wants to progress but maybe group lessons alone aren’t the way to do that?

Or as others say, private lessons if possible but maybe, again if possible, another activity entirely for the more social aspect. (FYI it’s kind of leader/area dependent but you can absolutely switch troops if one isn’t a fit - Girl Scouts is a lot more than just crafts these days. Troops do trips, go camping, etc. Would have more of a social aspect to it than sports.)

Also some of the stuff re. corralling the kids. That’s a problem in any sport w/kids involved, I’d assume. I do taekwondo at my gym at least twice a week, three times schedule permitting and while the Friday evening class is limited to adults or black belts (our youngest black belt is maybe 13-ish? He’s like, middle-school aged anyway and the next youngest is probably in early HS.) the Monday and Tuesday classes are mixed group all-ages. We moved into a new room once the gym (local Y) had an expansion built onto it and the room has a mat that’s always on the floor (yay, no more having to lug those out when we need them) and also serves as a general purpose boxing area when not being used for assorted fitness classes. We have the TKD bags, a speed bag and a heavy bag. Yesterday our instructor had to tell this new white belt kid (and by extension every other kid who decided to go for it) to leave the speed bag alone to the point there was a lecture when we lined up at the end of class about don’t hit the speed bag and definitely don’t hit the heavy bag (TKD = no gloves so you would not wanna mess with the heavy bag) blah-blah. And I was doing some exercises near those kids and told them myself a few times after the instructor told them to lay off, to also lay off the speed bag (none of these kids knew what they were doing with the thing, they were just randomly punching it).

EDIT: Wanna note the kids in the TKD class I take are usually pretty well-behaved (at least in class) but the new kid I’m betting hasn’t quite learned how things work and yeah, kid’ll learn if they stick w/it for sure.

[Baybear]

I would not talk to the instructor but to the owner and/or manager of the barn/ lesson program about your issues with the lateness and tardiness of riders. i know of a couple of lesson barns around me have late policies in place so if you’re x minutes late to a lesson sorry you missed it, and many places require lesson riders to arrive X minutes before the lesson to allow time for tacking up. How often does your daughter take lessons at this barn? If you’re hauling there more than once a week, maybe do a combination of a private lesson at home, and group lesson at this barn. I agree it’s much more fun to ride with other kids for as you say it helps motivate and its’ fun to meet and become friends w/ other kids or people at the barn.

I know what time I got irritated that my trainer was late for a lesson again - found a note on the tack room door that she’d gone a/ another client to look at a trailer or something and would be back soon. tacked up, rode for awhile, got off, put horse up and as I was leaving she finally pulled in shocked that I was leaving. Needless to say she was never late for a lesson after that. I don’t know that the OP can do something like that but people need to respect people’s time.

[candyappy]

@HokieHorseVet

But I’m paying for quality instruction and haven’t been getting it for a while. I’m non confrontational so it’s a real challenge for me to speak up about this. They just notified everyone that they are raising prices, which made me even more frustrating since I’m not getting what I’m paying for as it is.

I am sorry but you are going to have to become “mildly” confrontational and speak up for yourself. You are paying out good money and receiving substandard services.

Speak your mind ! You don’t have to be rude or aggressive about it. Just tell her the truth.