Hello everyone!! I’m a long time reader, but a first time poster.
I just need to vent, get some support, and hear some experiences. I am making the heart-wrenching decision to schedule euthanasia before this winter. Horse is a 24 year old OTTB gelding. I’ve had him for 19 years and I’m devastated but I have been thinking this over since last spring and it’s becoming more clear over the past few months that I am making the right decision for him.
My boy has a hard time lifting his hinds for the farrier now, he has fluid on his cornea which has caused him to go almost blind in his right eye. He has spooked and bumped into things a few times which is gut-wrenching to say the least. He also doesn’t lay down much to sleep despite deep stall bedding and soft grassy areas, which is causing him to have issues with sleep crashing. He also spends most of his time out in the same area of the paddock all day. He used to be very active, and now he just sort of zones out for the majority of the day. He is on 24/7 turnout.
A few days ago, he mis-took my barn owner for another horse and lunged at her which is totally out of character for him. We both agreed it was most likely his vision issue that caused it.
My vet that I had for 14 years retired this summer, leaving me to need to choose a new vet. I found a wonderful vet in the area and she is coming out to do a quality of life exam and get her eyes/hands on him before the next appointment later this fall which will be for the euthanasia.
My biggest fear is him going down on the ice in the winter and not being able to get back up. Deep down, I know it’s the right time, but I’m still struggling and catching myself second guessing, especially since the new vet doesn’t know my horse and I hope she isn’t judgemental of my decision. He is a good weight, eating, drinking, etc. But he’s just no longer thriving and my concerns about his stiffness, partial blindness, and trouble sleeping are outweighing what the benefits would be if I were to keep him around another winter. Winters are harsh where I live and I would be riddled with guilt if I delayed my decision and it resulted in a painful ending for him. I have always promised him I would do right by him. Any advice and feedback is appreciated.
Thank you!
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