Yes. I think a major choice was- go pro in horses and ride others or go pro in something else and ride yours. I chose the latter- I also chose a business that had time flexibility. Does it mean I get up every day thrilled to go to work? No. But its something I can do well and feel good doing and it affords me my true passion. So all in all, thrilled with how life turned out
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When I graduated from undergrad I moved to Texas specifically because there are SO many horses here. My parents both rode, so horses as a lifestyle were a given. I wouldnât say I âchangedâ things because of horses, but I absolutely chose where I live because of horses. My husband and I are child-free for myriad reasons, so that frees up $ and time for focus on horses. Iâm SO lucky in that my husband is beyond supportive of my insane hobby and even helps with barn chores. He is literally the perfect horse husband; he will do chores, build things, fix things, hold horses for the farrier, help with vetting, etc. but he has no desire to ride and heâs gone to one horse show in the 15 years we have been married.
I have definitely made some questionable choices because of my obsession with horses and am tapping the brakes right now on showing to catch up. LOL! I would always advise FOR it, but you have to go in with your eyes wide open. Horses are expensive and you either have to have the $ or the ability to say âwhenâ and deal with the consequences in dire situations sometimes.
So very many things!!! I too went to law school because of my horses.
Well⊠first I only applied to colleges within a dayâs drive of home because I wanted to be able to see my retired horse regularly. Second, I only applied to schools with equestrian teams because my horse was retired and I couldnât afford another to ride. Then, I went to law school to be able to afford to do horses the way I wanted.
After school, I chose a big-law job (i.e. money), but in a suburban office. I got market comp, and was able to live with ride within 15 minute of work. I spent my entire first bonus on a schoolmaster for myself. It took work to arrange it, and luck to make all the pieces fall into place - but I was able to ride 6 days/week even in my first year of big-law (excluding occasional weeks of chaos). I still work many, many hours, but I have flexibility too. I fly to Wellington tonight and will work remotely if necessary tomorrow. I even filed an appeal brief from my tack trunk at championships one year.
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Haha this is validating - in some ways big law is all consuming (ok, in a lot of ways), but the money is legit. My bonus last year became a horse!
I should add, I also moved to the US from Canada because they pay lawyers twice as much here (and I found out working at a big firm in Toronto is literally the same job as a big US firm, for half the pay. What a scam! Though I miss the healthcare). So in a roundabout way, I also became an immigrant because of horses. HORSES!
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So funny to see lots of other attorneys here! I wouldnât say I went to law school specifically so I could afford horses, but itâs definitely a huge plus.
I took a long break from horses in college and law school, and got back into riding after I got married in 2016. I wish I had thought about going to a college with an equestrian team so I didnât lose so many years in the saddle. However, perhaps the break from riding allowed me to be so excited about getting back into it in the first place. I had 2 horses growing up, but I bought my first âadultâ horse in May of last year for my 30th birthday.
DH and I have also chosen the child-free life for a variety of reasons, so that helps with the money side of things. Again, itâs nice to see so many people here who have done the same thing, as it sometimes feels like I am the ONLY person without children. LOL. My horse is my child.
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Iâve also decided to go child free, also for a lot of reasons. All my mothering hormones are completely fulfilled by doting on horse babies (who will never need to go to college!)
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Iâm a partner at a large law firm. Iâm sort of the typical adult amatuer, I have my horse in full training, ride 3x a week when I can, and show 5-7 shows a year. My daughter rides too and has her own horse. I used to be a superstar at work, top hours, top $$ etc. When my DD started riding I wanted to do it with her. I have scaled back from being a super star to a good employee and solidly performing partner. I could work more and earn more money but I choose to ride, show and spend time with my DD. There are times its hard. I donât make enough $$$ to show a ton and cannot take that much time off work, but earn enough to be able to know how fun it is. I wouldnt change it at all. Riding is the one and only place I can get mental clarity and be in the momentâno worry about job, kids, husband, bills, ortho, clients. just me and my horse.
Add one more attorney!
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And another PhD 
I rode and half-leased and showed on my parentsâ dime when I was an ungrateful kid/teenager, but once I got to college, I was on my own financiallyâhello student loans and goodbye horse hobby.
I took lessons sporadically in college and grad school in NC whenever I could do so and still make rent, but basically accepted that horses were out of my budget until some vague, grown-up future where disposable income was a thing.
After grad school I moved to CT for a postdoc at a big Ivy. It took about 6 months of still making peanuts, accruing interest on student loans, winning teensy research grants, and being too broke for hobbies for me to realize that if I was this disenchanted with academia even at YALE ffs, that maybe the ivory tower wasnât for me.
I left the postdoc and moved out west for a job in tech, and the big salary that comes with it. 3 years, a comfortable emergency fund, and a boatload of debt repayments later, I realized I actually am not a poor grad student anymore, and could afford to start riding again.
So I waded back into the equestrian money pit by taking lessons, and am now looking for a lease of my own. The jump in cost from lessons to leasing/ownership is staggering, even for a well-paid, childless, almost-debt-free person like me, and I bow before equestrians who make it work with way less. And Iâm finally really, truly grateful for what my parents paid for all those years ago.
I think that grad school and student loan debt instilled a (crushing) sense of frugality that I would not have learned otherwise, and that that frugality is what makes it possible for me to be an adult re-rider. I drive a car I paid $12,000 for, I rarely buy things that arenât on sale, and you better believe my Stay-At-Home Dog Dad gets an earful about the utility bill every time he leaves the space heater on overnight in an unoccupied room. But I also can afford the luxury of being frivolous with my horse hobby budget. Replacing my ill-fitting 20-y.o. saddle with something fancy? Happy birthday to me. Lease/board/train a horse just for more practice time? Holy cripe, but okay, sure. Fly in premium economy? N.O.P.E., who do you think I am, Bill Gates?
I donât always make questionable spending decisions, but when I do, they usually involve Venmo and a horse emoji.
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@mollymoon . Yeah, I had the same Yale postdoc experience. The amount of opportunity, money, networking help, great students, fascinating, able colleagues, and research and travel moneyâŠ(did I mention the money?) available at that Ivy were amazing. And I had come from other brand-name universities. But! You had to want that very urban, elite life that comes with a fancy university that attracts faculty who, by and large, grew up in a fancy version of âurbanâ or aspired to that. I brought my aging horse with me to New Haven (well, Bethany and then Middletown), but I really didnât get to see him, care for him myself or ride him the way I think a horse requires.
And so I think the âI got to Yale and didnât like it, FFâsSâ thing was a fantastically useful, important life lesson. I could not do right by both sides of my life. And that would not change if I stayed in that career since, at that point, it looked like I was doing academia right. If you are doing something right and it sucks, you need to change what you are doing. That whole âMeh, Iâll sleep less, keep the hard-core A-job and do an A-job on my B-job of the horsingâ that had worked since high school finally couldnât work anymore when I was at the young professor stage of my career.
I really, really enjoyed the whole intense, committed, high-quality academic phase of my life. Itâs like taking your mind to Grand Prix to see what you can really do. And all I had to do was accept being poor for that time. But I had grown up that way, so a paid-for PhD seemed like a good deal.
But long before, the horses had taught me a whole lot about how much time and genuine desire and emotional energy you must reserve for relationships. I hated owning my lovely gelding the way I did in New Haven-- seeing him fewer days per week than I ever had. My new way of âbeing his personâ looked like what I had seen a few other horsing profs do: They boarded their horses took lessons and had goals. They usually had a pro doing some of the riding. But they didnât value the daily care or relationship that I think you get from caring for a horse yourself. And they didnât think they were missing anything. They loved their animals, but they always talked about the horse in a harried way-- he was one more meeting they had to squeeze into a day. Because I had lived on farms and been a pro groom, this wasnât my idea of having a relationship with a horse. I didnât want to choose a life that put an animal I had chosen and loved into an item on a To-Do list. And I canât imagine what it would be like to be the horse who was just ticked off a list.
I saw lots of academicsâ kids and marriages being the kind of âadjunctâ part of life for the profs I knew. Already seeing how I thought I was cheating my gelding by not being around for him, I doubled-down on my initial notion that if you signed up to be in a relationship, you had to want to do that on in a very daily and non-self-centered way. I am so glad that my horse (who was absolutely cared for at his barn) taught me this rather than having a child I had raised badly teach me this. And I think I learned it early because of the dailiness of horses I had known about since before high school.
This career could have worked-- I could have met my own standards for horse ownership and a decent experience with horses-- if I had gotten an appointment at a university big enough to have an opening for someone in my specialty field (and teaching the subjects I did) that also was in the country. And then I would have needed to live on the farm with the horses since the commute to a barn had proven to be a major obstacle. All this meant that I would have to have the money to buy that big property right out of the gate. Not only did I not have access to that kind of money, but the odds of lining up all of these pieces together were vanishingly small.
I can see why those of you who can Lawyer It did that-- yâall get paid better and you can (usually) find that job somewhere close to the countryside (again, if you are paid well enough). Or if you get Really, Really Paid Enough as in Tech and/or can work from home, your choices get even wider.
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I waited and waited and waited. Rode in HS and College. Then put it on the back burner for life and to raise my son. I knew that there was no way I could continue riding and that was that. I always missed it, but my job as mom and wife was the most important thing for me. I started up again when he was a senior in HS. It had been roughly 26 years. I found my current trainer and she helped me find my forever pony. Now, 13 years later I am blessed to still have my forever pony, although we both are slowing down a bit. But this is O.K.! I now have a beautiful granddaughter and I see my life changing yet again. One thing is for sure, there isnât a day that goes by that I am not grateful for having that jughead of a pony in my life and also my trainer who Iâve watched grow up into a wonderful rider and friend. I canât put into words how blessed I have been and continue to be.
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Iâm another attorney although at this point when people ask me what type of law I practice my answer is âas little as possible.â
In my younger days the life choices I made to ride included
-moving across the country to more affordable areas several times
-full time desk job as an attorney
-going pro so I could make additional money teaching and training
-between all of this, working, teaching, or training about 70 hours a week
Iâm tired now. I no longer want to work 70 or even 40 hours per week. I want time with my friends, time to read books, and time to participate in cultural and charitable activities. I could easily submit my resume to a recruiter and land in a six figure job, but I just donât want to work that much.
Iâm spending my time now making my own schedule, developing a passive income portfolio (airbnb, rental properties) and building self employed consulting/attorney gigs which are all cloud based so I can do them from anywhere.
My plan in the next twelve months is to get active work down to 20 hours a week max, all cloud based, so I can take the dogs on an extended road trip out west, spend a few hours in the morning working at a coffee shop, email or call whoever needs to emailed or called about the houses, then take the dogs for a hike, and then read/see museums/catch the local band in the afternoon and evening.
I sold my competition horse years ago to buy my first rental property, and my keep horse died in 2018. I ride and train a friendâs ottb now, and itâs nice to just ride 2 or 3 times a week.
Perhaps one day I will get a project again, but owning a horse is essentially a part time job that ties you to a geographic location. (Have to go to the barn 4x per week, after all.)
Before, I did a lot of sweat equity to afford the horses and if I bite the bullet again it will only be if I can easily afford full training with excellent professionals. Iâm more than happy to do my own hands on care and riding, but I want excellent professionals easily on hand so I can take loads of lessons and dont have to guess around on my own 90% of the time.
So when the rental properties bring in enough to pay for themselves, my base expenses, and my reasonable just-for-fun expenses, (none of which are high, as I live in a low cost area where you can own three multiunit houses for about $1500 a month in mortgage/taxes/insurance), plus additionally maxing out my simple and roth IRAs, and then AFTER all that also $1-2k a month to throw at a horse on top, (and I also make peace with another 20 hour a week commitment), then perhaps I will own a horse again.
Itâs really only 4 or 5 more rental properties away, money wise, and I by now have a repeatable process to get one house after another, but Iâm in zero hurry and plan to mosey around some national parks with the dogs and some good books along the way.
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Hm. Itâs kind of difficult to say for me, really, since Iâm still in the middle of working it all out, butâŠ
I actually did go to my first-choice university, but Iâm rather odd in that I had no desire to leave my hometown to go to school. I lived on campus my first year, in an apartment my second year, and then moved home when I was a junior and commuted because my only yearly expenses were room and board and my books, courtesy of the fact that my dad was an assistant professor at my uni and I consequently got free tuition (as well as a small academic scholarship), and it was significantly cheaper to just live at home and pay to park when I was down on campus for class.
That choice had less to do with riding and more to do with me wanting to stay where I grew up, but it did have the side effect of making it possible for me to continue riding through school and also stay with the trainer that I was with at the time. I did admittedly pay for my lessons with a mix of loans, money from a part-time job, and savings from the internship I worked the summer before my senior year, but even between that and room and board/parking expenses, I still graduated with less than a yearâs worth of tuition in debt that I needed to repay. I was also very lucky in that my uni is a very good school and one of the biggest research institutions in the country, so I got a great education out of the whole thing.
Having free tuition meant that I had the opportunity to major in both the practical thing and the thing that I was passionate about. I have a degree in anthropology, which is the academic love of my life, and I also have a degree in accounting, which was the thing that I majored in because I knew that it would allow me to afford horses and Iâm pretty good at it. I interned at a large public accounting firm and then started work as an auditor at the same firm the fall after I graduated. I spent the summer taking the CPA exam and took my last section of it about a month after I started, then got my official license about a year later (due to work requirements necessary for obtaining your license).
I was right in that it let me afford horses - I bought my first horse last year because of it - but itâs also incredibly difficult to juggle both (at least in my office). January through April, I work 50-60 hours a week (closer to 60), including working Saturdays, and am lucky if I manage to make it out to the barn twice over the weekend due to both time constraints and general exhaustion. The rest of the year, I may be working normal hours, but some of my clients are in places where itâs over an hour commute just to get home, and then another forty-five minutes to the barn (and moving my horse is non-negotiable, as heâs at a friendâs place and it works really well for us), so time to ride can still be borderline nonexistent. I also just⊠donât really like what I do all that much, time commitment aside.
Iâm currently in the process of looking for something new, so that I can move on once I wrap up my last busy season client in April and hopefully have something vaguely resembling normal hours every day. Iâm planing to stay in finance for at least a few more years so that I can pay off the rest of my loans/my car and get some money in the bank, but my goal is to go back to school and pursue anthropology. I donât know that Iâll be relentlessly pursuing a career in academia, as there is actually a niche in the business world for anthropologists (and it pays better), but Iâm a little tired of feeling dead inside in my current job and the risk that is going back to school has become a lot less scary in the last ~eight months. My hope - my plan - is that Iâll be able to keep my horse through school, but weâll see how it ends up working out.
Long story short, this all boils down to what I tell people all the time: there is absolutely no point in me having a job that lets me afford my horse if that same job prevents me from having the time to go see him. Iâm not upset that I put myself in a position to get my CPA license, because that will never go away as long as I keep up with the continuing professional education requirements and itâll always make me employable, but I donât know if it was necessarily the best way to put myself in a position to afford the whole horse thing. Such is life, though, and now Iâm just trying to mold that professional training into something that I find less psychologically exhausting and that is more flexible so that I actually have time to see my horse all year.
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Several posters have brought up an interesting point. Thereâs a balance between time and money, and the dream for one person would be a nightmare for another.
I had the grades and opportunity for med school. But several summers working in a GP clinic, and a hospital made it clear to me that I did not want to be a doctor with a horse. The busy, unpredictable schedule would make getting to the barn 5 days/wk and showing on the weekends nearly impossible. And as someone else that worked as a pro groom and grew up on a farm, Iâm not ok with seeing my horse once a week.
I opted for the well paying healthcare job that came with a regular schedule.
Nothing against those who can afford full training and a pro to show their horse for them. Thatâs just not what the sport is for me. Thatâs not how you become a good horseman or horsewoman.
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Such a fascinating discussion.
I also pursued a career in healthcare but on the tech side of things. I have been in product development, marketing and sales and had a number of C level positions at name brand employers. I spent many years doing the corporate climb, riding in the late evenings after work/commuting, and now enjoy having my own place where I have a couple of really nice horses to ride and show, as well as the opportunity to afford my oldsters the cushy retirement they deserve.
Looking back, although the years I spent trying to fit riding and showing in around the demands of a busy corporate job were tough, I am grateful that Iâve always been able to keep a horse and continue to pursue my riding education. My DH is fortunately happy about our farm and enjoys everything that goes along with the farmette lifestyle.
I did deliberately steer my career to the tech industry because having the ability to work from home (or anywhere with a decent internet connection) was important to me. It also pays well and is and challenging enough to be very interesting and rewarding on a personal and professional level.
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It is very trueâŠHorses take money and timeâŠand often to earn the money, you lose time. It really is a personal choice. I worked 70-80 work weeks my first years out of law schoolâŠand still typically work 60+ hour work weeks. I work pretty much 7 days a week (not full days though)âŠbut am well compensated. I too was a former pro groom and like to see my horses everyday. And in my first year of working I did full care for my horse. It becomes what you are willing to do. For meâŠI had to board at a farm with an indoor and that let me ride at odd hours. I found that riding at 4am usually worked best as then I got my ride in And there would be someone in the barn to find me if I fellâ-yes, I thought about that. (but I rode at 10pm at night too). I did have to step backâŠas I was riding at a higher level in eventing and just couldnât get the time in the saddle and then the extra fitness work in. I could get my horse fit but not myself (riding alone is not enough). So I sold my top horse and went back to green beansâŠas green horses take less time. Iâm kinda of back there again. I love the process of trainingâŠso I ride the youngsters and get them up the levels in training and then let a professional show them as I just donât care about the competing a much. My pointâŠit really is hard to do it allâŠand you have to make choices. Every time I choose to ride, that is typically time I could be doing something else (like sleeping). There are only so many hours in the day. Because unfortunately, the jobs that pay wellâŠtypically require hard work. But what each person is willing or able to do is very different. Not every one would or could work the hours that I doâŠI donât regret my choices, but when parents ask me to talk to their kids and say hey look little SuzieâŠshe has a career and her own farm and ridesâŠI donât sugar coat thingsâŠIt doesnât come easy and Iâm doubtful that little Suzie will have what it takes. But I made the decision to pick a career that I found interesting enough (if you donât like it, you will not do well) and that Would pay me enoughâŠand that is the key. I took a practical look at my education and direction to take, invested in myself and then worked my tail off. But my path isnât the path for everyoneâŠthere are other choices as shown by this thread. I think you see law coming up more often just because that is generally a flexible degree, and it is one that pays very well if you can land the right job. But I do wish we could figure out how to create a 36 hour day.
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Totally agree with both points, even though Iâm coming from the opposite side here.
I chose a job where Iâm afforded a lot of autonomy in how/when/where my work gets done, both because thatâs how I like to work, and because it gives me the flexibility to do things like leave the office at 2pm to go take a lesson. Of course that means that sometimes I do work during âoffâ hours to catch up, and that sometimes I have to reschedule a lesson because thereâs a meeting I have to attend. Those choices work for me because I donât have kids and I can afford the âluxuryâ of having my trainer take care of things at the barn.
I say âluxuryâ because sometimes I would prefer to do all the barn chores that give you more time with horses and knowledge/experience managing them. But as an AA with other competing priorities, I canât or donât want to commit to doing those things ALL the time, so I have to pay someone to do the hard work for me a lot of them time. The flip side of that âluxuryâ is that sometimes I feel stupid about horse things and useless around the barn. Itâs not ideal of course, but Iâm happy to sacrifice things I value less (e.g., money, my ego) for the privilege of having a horse hobby.
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Hey - I just wanted to say donât beat yourself up on this. Youâre never too old to go back to school and 30 is still plenty young to get a return on your investment in your masters. Donât let society dictate what the âcorrectâ timeline is for reaching milestones like this. The timeline youâre on is the right one for you. Give yourself credit for going back to school and getting it done - thatâs a huge accomplishment! - Signed, someone who also went back for their masters at 30.
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It is all about time vs. money and the balance between. Just like with children or pets, you have to decide how much you want to do yourself vs. how much you are going to pay others to do for you
Absolutely this. You make choices every day that move you down your path. And the beautiful thing is that life moves in stages. You can have your horsey stage and then take a step away, then take a step back. The beautiful thing about this sport is that you can choose how involved you want to be, from weekly lesson taker, half leaser, full owner, etc. etc. The important thing is to reassess regularly, look at the average, not the highs and lows, and be true and honest with yourself. Then you will live a life with minimal regrets.
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