My horse broke my femur UPDATE PAGE 3

[plaidbreeches]

I have reread all the replies, and thank you for the kind ones.

It still hurts to read people so sure I should just sell him without knowing anything about him or the accident and seeing those posts marked as the most helpful ones.

Telling me what breed I should go for next as if a draft/paint isn’t something people already think about when they think of an easygoing beginners horse.

He will be getting regular training rides, probably once a week as I can’t put him in full training being out of work for several weeks, it’s all coming out of savings right now. I also am paid on a commission basis and the first several months back at work I am going to be most likely in a receptionist type job at a much lower hourly rate until I am cleared for lifting 50+ pounds. I can’t handle/groom any dogs I am not cleared for supporting/lifting/holding as well as holding myself up without support at the same time.

I think it’s important for him to stay in work rather than just turning him out because he is only ten months under saddle and he is finally beginning to build a topline and building muscle on drafts can be a long, slow process.

I have not been up to see him except for on Monday on my way home from the hospital since I was taken to a hospital near the barn. I was supposed to go today but I went to the grocery store yesterday on one of those ride on motorized carts and that completely wiped me out. I had the worst night I’ve had since the surgery pain wise and the idea of getting in and out of the house and car was just too much right now. I should be scheduling a training ride for a time my mom can drive me to the barn to watch because there’s not much I can do with him from a wheelchair.

[Highflyer]

Keep in mind that all anyone knows about the situation is what you’ve posted. Think about what you would say to a complete stranger in the same circumstances. And really no horse that is 10 months under saddle qualifies as an easy going beginners horse.

[yellowbritches]

I have not been up to see him except for on Monday on my way home from the hospital since I was taken to a hospital near the barn. I was supposed to go today but I went to the grocery store yesterday on one of those ride on motorized carts and that completely wiped me out. I had the worst night I’ve had since the surgery pain wise and the idea of getting in and out of the house and car was just too much right now. I should be scheduling a training ride for a time my mom can drive me to the barn to watch because there’s not much I can do with him from a wheelchair.

Hang in there. It’ll get a little easier. Take care of yourself and rest if your body tells you to rest. It is nice to get and about, so did it if you’re able, but careful not to overdo it.

I know how hard it can be to not get to see your horse!! When I got hurt, I went from having him literally in my backyard (I lived on the farm I managed at the time, and I turned him and his buddy out in the field that went around my cottage), to having him 35 minutes away with my coach. Even with the amazing help of my mom, I was only up to getting out once or twice a week. It helped knowing he was in very good hands. Hang tight!

[plaidbreeches]

[QUOTE=Highflyer;8849387]
Keep in mind that all anyone knows about the situation is what you’ve posted. Think about what you would say to a complete stranger in the same circumstances. And really no horse that is 10 months under saddle qualifies as an easy going beginners horse.[/QUOTE]

I wouldn’t be making any assumptions about a complete stranger’s horse or their ability to handle them based on a little information they’ve posted. Although I work professionally with animals so perhaps I’ve learned not to ever jump to conclusions off of such little information. If someone tells me they’ve managed to demat their dog who I saw last week and was basically one giant, continuous rat’s nest at the time, and would like to schedule an appointment for just a trim this week, I don’t say “Yeah right give me a break like you’d be capable of doing that on your own! Just bring her in for a shave down! She’s hopeless!” I say something like, “That was quite a feat of detangling, why don’t you bring her in Wednesday.” And we go from there. (she did, by the way. It took her hours and hours of gentle brushing with the dog on her lap but it was dematted.)

And for easy going beginner’s horse, you are right. He is hyper aware of his surroundings and not a horse I’d ever put someone who didn’t have a good strong base of support and sense of humor on.

I was making a point about how absurd the person who suggested I sell him and buy an appendix sounded. There will always be exceptions to every breed stereotype and he is definitely one of them. Most people think “cool, slow, and collected” when they think drafts, or stock horses for that matter.

So the idea that I sell my horse, who I was fully aware had some major baggage and had successfully evaded being broke the first time (by a cowboy with a NH DVD) when I bought him, because he has some baggage/green horse issues/accidentally hurt me to buy an appendix, and that post has 9 thumbs up makes absolutely no sense to me.

By the way I previously leased a then 18 year old appendix ex-broodmare and she was also pretty cold backed with a tendency to work up and carry loads of tension, and rush at jumps because she was also started over fences in her teens and still very green to it at the time. So forgive me for laughing at the utter irony of that suggestion.

Also yellowbritches thank you for your support. I know I come off as hostile and very defensive but my horse means more to me than pretty much anything and the idea of not having him anymore is just too much to even think about. Especially when all I have to do right now is sit here in pain thinking about all the logistics of things to come. I only wish the fall was caught on camera, morbidly enough stuff like that is worth money either through monetization on youtube or selling it to tv shows for Spike TV/ Ridiculousness type shows. I was unfortunately caught in between insurance policies due to a paperwork error on my part. :eek:

[Dutchmare433]

I think some of the response might have come from the way you phrased the title of the thread. Maybe you could change it to “I broke my femur” or “I fell off and broke my femur”?

I think it gave people the impression that either the horse was at fault or you blamed the horse, but with more info it sounds like unfortunate circumstances (headed toward a wall, slipping saddle, etc) that could have happened to anyone.

[plaidbreeches]

I have memory loss and don’t know how I actually came off the horse other than what my trainer says he saw from the other side of the arena, and it’s the surgeon’s opinion that my horse stepped on me at some point during the fall directly causing the break.

[Ajierene]

In my personal and professional opinion, you are wasting your money paying a trainer to ride him once a week. If he is getting more rides than that and those are just the training rides then you may be alright but riding a green horse once a week is useless.

I have started a lot of horses and worked with a good number of horses with issues. Once a week rides are like going to school once a week and not doing any homework. There just is not enough time spent learning/working on things for the horse to retain anything useful and in my experience they go backward as often as they remain stagnant because that once a week ride means they “get away” with more. They have a bad day then sit in a field for a week thinking that bad day got them out of work and hey, let’s have another!

A horse that “evaded” being broke once already and throws such a fit as to toss and injure his rider over something as small as a tiny jump is likely to have a “bad day”. Keep in mind, the femur is very strong and hence one of the hardest bones to break.

I strongly suggest, if you want to keep this horse, to save your money until you are better and use it to put him in 30 days of training with someone that will ride him for those 30 days while you lease/half lease/lesson/buy rides on a bombproof horse once you get better. Put him in the training while you are getting back in the saddle yourself so he can transition from training rides to you riding him as well.

I also suggest that if you want to keep this horse, continue to at least lesson on another horse for a while to work on your confidence issues. You having issues and your horse being green/having issues is a bad combination.

Take your time, heal, then approach this situation with a more logical mind. I can completely understand wanting to keep him as I kept riding a horse that had issues which were compounded by my issues derived from venturing into a new discipline after I got her. She limited my potential but it wasn’t her fault she was a bit crazy and I once I knew what was going on I essentially decided to limit my ability to move up the levels to keep her. I got on other horses after I retired her and the difference is amazing and I am having more fun, though I don’t regret sticking with her at all.

[frugalannie]

Just read this thread after being without computer for a week (felt like an eternity!!).

Four years ago, I got on my homebred three-year old on Sept 30 to walk him up my driveway, meet another friend on her horse and just have a pleasant autumn walk. I remember getting to a point about 50 yards from the barn. And that’s all I remember for 72 hours.

My riding buddy found me on the ground, out cold. Turned out that besides a TBI, I had dislocated my left femur and fractured the head. Off to the hospital for a partial hip replacement and some CAT scans. I have a hazy memory of the second day post op, and then some memories of the days that followed. The hip was reasonably straight forward. The TBI was the sort that made it necessary for me to relearn reading, figure out how numbers worked, and then re-establish all the higher executive functions. For instance, once I could drive, it would take me a while to figure out how to navigate a 4 way stop.

But 6 months later I got on a horse again, although I had to promise my husband that I would have someone medically competent in attendance. Lucky me, two of my barnmates (and enablers) are fully licensed. I have to say that the first few rides hurt like hell, and yet were great, and it went on from there.

As to the horse, I had some experienced friends ride him starting about when I was first getting on again. And about a year later I had the strength and guts to ride him myself. He has never put a foot wrong again, although he can be frightened. He just doesn’t like jumping, so he’s making me into a DQ, much to my DH’s relief. He really is a sweet, easy fellow, and I still don’t know what happened that day. I never will, and I’m OK with that. I’m just glad that my injuries weren’t worse.

So, my advice is give yourself time to heal, make the decisions you’re comfortable with and see how things develop.

Best of luck. Everything does get better!

[plaidbreeches]

frugalannie thank you for your kind reply.

I am going to be staying away from coth for the time being, because I’d like to go at least one day without bursting into tears.

the posts that upset me the most are all the posts with multiple thumbs up, further bringing home just how many people feel that way. it might not even be the case but it feels as though I am being ganged up on at the moment. please remember I did have a bit of a brain injury and I have been on heavy medication for over a week. the logical part of me is telling me that the reactions I’m having aren’t quite right for the situation. Unfortunately, I am feeling them in full hurricane force no matter how right or wrong they are.

I expected multiple non-horsey people to react badly and assume I’d sell him right out.

I came to coth for reassurance and I have been getting straight opposites. The nurses asked to see pictures of him while I was stuck in bed. My relatives have asked how many months til I’m back on him again. Even my mother who it took me over a year of owning him before I could drag her out to meet him is being good about this.

The only thing I can do is just log out and not come back here.

[Prime_Time_Rider]

Speaking as someone who broke 3 bones in my leg a month when my horse dirty stopped with me in front of a cross rail, I suggest you take some time thinking rationally about whether this horse is the right horse for you. Since you deleted your original post it’s not possible to know what happened, however, the question I would ask is this a pattern of behavior or a one off situation? If it is a behavior pattern then it truly is time to stop and take stock of the situation.

You mentioned your horse has about ten months under saddle, so it is still green. Are you capable of riding and training a green horse? Is it worth endangering yourself again? Yes, it’s possible to fall off the most dead broke horse, freak accidents happen, etc., but was this accident the result of green or bad behavior on the part of your horse? If so, are you willing to risk getting hurt again?

[Gryhrs]

Poor you. Been there done that - just a different bone. Haven’t read all the posts so just telling my tale. I fell off and suffered a tibial plateau fracture - surgery - plates, screws - non weight bearing 3 months. My horse was green and so was I. We were jumping a grid - my first. He stopped at crossrail and I just slid off side and I landed on my feet…until I didn’t Very depressing 3 months. I kept having nightmares reliving the fall.

Long story short…I put my horse in training. I put myself in training and we eventually ending up competing at training level! So happy ending.

Hang in there. Hugs to you and your horse.

[fordtraktor]

don’t take it too hard, OP. I really think people are just trying to help you and based on everything you’ve posted about this horse, he seems like a lot of horse in general and too much for all but quite advanced riders. some horses are just plain difficult and if you want to work him through that, it’s fine – but plenty of people will think that is not a logical decision. And it probably isn’t – you are obviously speaking with a lot of love for this particular horse. It might still be worth it to you, but just be cautious and make sure it makes sense from your head and your heart to ride him.

I read the original post before you took it down and it doesn’t sound to me like he did anything on purpose, just a little yee-hawing after a jump and you came off possibly because the saddle slipped. Just a tip – if you were using a fleece girth, don’t on a horse like this. I like the Sof-Touch girths – the are super soft and cushiony – my cold backed horse likes them – but also grippy. And make SURE you longe him EVERY TIME before you ride, and with the girth fully tightened.

I would also fully expect him to occasionally exhibit this behavior after fences on occasion – since he did it once, I find it often resurfaces when the horse is fresh or hasn’t jumped in a while or does something new and he’s excited about what a rock star he is. Even very advanced horses can have their little spells. Look at Rothchild, he can buck like a banshee every now and then. it doesn’t mean he is a bad horse but he is certainly not a horse for just anyone.

So because you are now aware that he is very likely to do similar things again, you should make sure you are fit before riding and especially jumping him. You got unlucky this time and it sounds like the injury here was out of proportion to the level of naughtiness. But the horse needs to go very slow and so jumping seems almost boring before you move him up. Do poles on the ground until he is blasé about them, then lift one side and make a tiny 6 inch lift and go over it at the trot until he is super bored, etc. etc. Since you’ve come off before you want to make sure you do as few things as possible to trigger the behavior, this means taking it slow.

You also need to be sure you are confident enough to ride through it – keep his head up and GO FORWARD, don’t just stop. If you position is not secure enough that you can both sit the misbehavior and attempt to fix it (by doing the above), have the trainer do all the jumping until it is. You didn’t give enough info for outsiders to say one way or the other. And I’m not going to assume because a slipped saddle will get anyone who isn’t super lucky off.

[fordtraktor]

Oh, and I forgot to mention – it is totally normal to have your emotions all out of whack after a head injury. I am normally a very even-tempered person but after my most significant head injury, I was bizarrely emotional. Don’t feel bad because you are seeing only the criticism and this thread made you cry. To be honest, you’d probably cry anyway over something. I pretty much had to stop watching TV because all the commercials would leave me bawling and I don’t even LIKE watching commercials! it’s not at all unusual, mine went away after between six months and a year later. I just realized about a year later I was “myself” again.

[bornfreenowexpensive]

ugh. So sorry this happened to you. Focus on getting well. Selling or keeping the horse is not a decision for today.

I would save your money rather than have him ridden once a week. Three times a week might be worth it but otherwise…save your money until you are almost ready to ride yourself then put him into more intensive full training. Yes, it will take time to get him up to where you were but perhaps not as much as you are thinking.

Another thought would be have him ridden one week out of every month or something similar. That may also work to keep him in the right mind set.

But right now…focus on healing and taking the time needed to heal. Bad falls can happen off of any horse…even the most steady eddie type. Now is not the time to make big decisions unless you absolutely have too!

[Winding_Down]

[QUOTE=plaidbreeches;8841607]
Please do not come onto a thread I made at 4 in the morning on heavy painkillers and tell me to sell my horse, or that he is not the horse for me. Of course I didn’t take the time to tell you the long, winding story about Titan, all his past problems, what he has done for me emotionally over the last year, or all the ways he’s been checked for pain.

Really 100% NOT what I need to hear from people who have never met me or my horse especially when I never asked for that kind of advice. I asked things like “did you start back on the horse that caused the injury or did you start on another horse first?”
I just got conformation from my trainer, the saddle slipped under during his bucking and bolting. I got left behind, slipped the reins but caught him a tiny bit with my spurs. I was firmly on the horse throughout the whole incident bringing him back to reality until he turned a corner and the saddle was underneath the horse. The horse was very particular during saddle fitting and this saddle was not only approved by him, it also was said to fit him like a glove. When I start back up riding him again I’ll be looking for a dressage saddle and I will be using a saddle fitter again.

That is more than people who have never met me, my horse, or seen either of us go needed to know.

I will leave this thread up long enough for people to figure out where it went before it’s gone. You may just be trying to open my eyes to reality but literally all you are doing is making me not want to get up out of bed, ever. If my horse isn’t there to get up and walk to, why walk.[/QUOTE]

I am so sorry you had this accident. It sounds like your horse did not break your femur. It sounds like you did.

The posts I read above sound like people who are concerned and caring, and trying to share similar experiences. It is unfortunate that your response is harsh.

[jetsmom]

Just sending get well soon wishes. When you are able go spend time hanging out with your horse. Nothing helps moods as much as being able to bury your face in their neck and just inhaling.
For your first rides back, I’d find the calmest pokie st horse you can to just plop around on. Stretching out your muscles and tendons will be a process, and make you sore. You’ll want to be able to take your feet out of the stirrups and stretch your legs and hips, without worrying about any spooks, or anything like that.

[WasthatC]

Hey OP,
You’ve been in my thoughts for a while now and I hope you’re doing better. I’m sorry you had this accident - after the early posts on this thread I was very concerned for you. Recovery is hard but I hope you know there are complete strangers that are on your side and rooting for both you & your horse.
I agree w others that have suggested waiting on the training rides until you’re more healed. But more than anything take care of yourself until you’re in a better position to take care of your horse’s training. Keep us posted on how you’re doing.

[plaidbreeches]

Hi guys. I just wanted to post an update on this thread since this is the first time I’ve been able to bring myself back to this forum since the last post I made on this thread. It was truly upsetting me and I’d burst into tears and start yelling at my mother, who was taking care of me at the time multiple times a day just thinking of people telling me to sell my horse.

I can now see all the encouragement and I thank you all for that. I am definitely still super emotional all the time, now almost six months out. Even though he was involved in the accident, my horse has been pretty much my only constant through this.

I started being able to walk without a cane in late October and the surcingle and long lines went back on 3 times a week. Since he is cold backed and carries so much tension I ALWAYS lunge before even attempting to sit on him, usually with the surcingle over the saddle and long lines. I didn’t explain anything previously, but he’s green, I’m not. I previously worked at a barn that bred some horses and also picked up cheap craigslist horses to flip and I’ve started and backed those horses. I took on my horse knowing he’d be a challenge and it only took me a month before I realized I needed help and put him in training. That was fall 2015. Once he was going I took over the rides and just took once a week lessons.

I recently bought an older model County Competitor dressage saddle for him as I’m done jumping him for the foreseeable future. The girth I was using in the accident was Dover’s knockoff Professionals Choice, and the elastic tended to stretch and not come back so it just got longer and longer and longer. I’m back to the Thorowgood synthetic girth and he’s a shameful 60" again after his vacation. (New saddle has short billets even though it’s a dressage saddle)

I got back on a horse in November and just sat on her at the mounting block and then got off. My doctor cleared me for everything (work and riding) the first week of December and I took two half lessons that week on a horse I really trusted. I’d ridden him almost every week for over two years before buying my horse. That was a great confidence builder. Since I hadn’t worked in three months I couldn’t afford any more lessons except one in January, I was saving everything for this month so that my horse could go back into training and the trainer could get on him a handful of times before I got back on. My goal was before my birthday, which was February 10th.

The trainer rode twice and the third time (Feb 9th) I got on and trotted around after him. He was right where we left him training wise and I think the time off was really good for him actually.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1F_prl8J_hs

I am still emotionally raw though because that other horse who I loved and trusted so much died the morning before that video was taken, suddenly. I was definitely still in shock when I got back on my horse. It was consistent with an aortic tear which is unfortunately prevalent in friesians and happened to some of the other horses by his sire.

So there’s your update. He’ll be in training one more month and then we’ll go on from there. I’m hoping to bring him to his first show this year but we’re sticking to dressage only for now simply because he’s still sensitive about things flapping around or riders being anywhere but exactly where they should be and jumping has too many variables.

[SuzieQNutter]

You both look lovely and you are back riding faster than I did when I lost my confidence and I didn’t even have a fall. I hope you both enjoy dressage as much as I do.

[AMWookey]

You have taken an extremely mature and sensible path with your healing, as well as everything you have done up to this point.

I went through the same thing, except worse. I bought a horse who 6 mths later reared up and struck me in the head. I was out of commission for 6 mths and scared to death of him. Luckily I was in the financial situation that I could put him in ground training, but everyone told me to put him down or sell him. I hoped though that it was a little bit of idiot horse mixed in with a lack of training. We worked it out over a year and a half. Some days I was ready for him to go, but my holding point was not selling a dangerous horse, he would be put down.

He isn’t perfect now and never will be. But he has never even offered a rear in the 3.5 years since his ground training, and when he gets pushy, which rarely happens and only if he has been off work, he gets another session. Everyone told me to sell this horse. My beginnerish husband is now his main rider and they are amazing together. My horse will always have a home with me.

Just wanted to say I understand where you are coming from.