Need to vent - Hate my boyfriend's dog

[QUOTE=meupatdoes;6483368]
What is with all the sniping? People are so “concerned” about how the dog is being treated they will just let fly with snipes to piss everyone off. The home is deliberately painted to be about as abusive as a dog fighting ring when we are talking an open palm whap on the butt, which, while not ideal is not The End Of The World. We can’t all be perfect.

Then alternatives such as training self control by “lying on a piece of rug”(which I was not the one who suggested it but it has been GREAT for my hooligans) is summarily dismissed as turing the dog into a robot. Well ok then can’t whap it, can’t train it down stay either, guess OP is just SOL and an unfit owner. Let’s mock and dismiss ALL the options so OP accepts there’s really nothing she can do. Let’s convince her she is just wrong, wrong wrong!

Do you all feel better about yourselves? I sure hope you got some pleasure out of it because attacking humans never helps dogs.[/QUOTE]

Questioning dog training techniques is not sniping. If having your dog lie on a rug works for you, do it. I am discussing my view of the training techniques used. Learning is an interesting experience and not always comes up smelling roses. Get used to it. Ignorant or defense attacks are something else but don’t squelch the discussion because it is not "polite’. It can be civil, just don’t inject the Amy Vanderbilt rules please.

[QUOTE=showhorsegallery;6483679]
I did clearly define what the hitting was several times. Open hand swat on the butt. Holding of the muzzle, pushing the dog down on the ground in a submissive position.

And I never said my 1.5 year old puppy is JUST now being reliable about potty trained. I said I’ve used crate training for her and it’s worked well. She was potty trained over a year ago. But I don’t allow her to run around the house when I’m not home because she’s still a destructive puppy.[/QUOTE]

Well, I guess I’m just a horrible person because I am not seeing “abuse.”

Are there ADDITIONAL ways you may be able to work with the dogs that may be equally, less, or more effective? Are there MORE training tools you may be able to access? Sure, and you have sought them out and will try a couple and see what combo of techniques works best for this particular dog.

But do I think that up to now the dog has been horribly abused and that it is some shut down shell of itself because of what you describe? No. Dogs are resilient. They lasted this long in domestic situations because they can get over it and move on. It is completely unnecessary for others to paint this as horrific abuse, and to act as if this means the boyfriend is going to turn into a violent wife beater. You don’t see pro field trialers doing all this handwringing and those dogs WORK at considerable distance in open space. How many of you have your positive only training installed to that level of results? Does your training work that well that you can turn your high drive dog loose in a field with other people, other dogs, and game and still have control? Are all these field trialers training with fanny packs full of cut up hotdogs? Are they all wife beaters?

Jesus, I give my horse a good whap with the stick when he acts up, am I a danger to society too?

[QUOTE=Calamber;6484061]
Questioning dog training techniques is not sniping. If having your dog lie on a rug works for you, do it. I am discussing my view of the training techniques used. Learning is an interesting experience and not always comes up smelling roses. Get used to it. Ignorant or defense attacks are something else but don’t squelch the discussion because it is not "polite’. It can be civil, just don’t inject the Amy Vanderbilt rules please.[/QUOTE]

Oh yeah, your motivations along with several others’ were TOTALLY to kindly help the OP.
You were just being constructive and helpful when you said you don’t turn your dogs into robots.

I wonder how effective you guys would all be as professional dog trainers if your tactic was to yell at your clients about how abusive and incompetent they are, try to make them feel as sh*tty as you possibly can, yell at everyone else for how abusive and incompetent THEY are, and then flounce off feeling satisfied at scoring several great hits without ever actually addressing the dog in question.

A+ training advice!

[QUOTE=meupatdoes;6484083]
Oh yeah, your motivations along with several others’ were TOTALLY to kindly help the OP.
You were just being constructive and helpful when you said you don’t turn your dogs into robots.

I wonder how effective you guys would all be as professional dog trainers if your tactic was to yell at your clients about how abusive and incompetent they are, try to make them feel as sh*tty as you possibly can, yell at everyone else for how abusive and incompetent THEY are, and then flounce off feeling satisfied at scoring several great hits without ever actually addressing the dog in question.

A+ training advice![/QUOTE]

Yes, I am. Just because I am not being politically correct does not mean it is not constructive. Because you take offense at the word robot does not make it less of an observation. You are doing just what you accuse others of doing, reacting instead of thinking through the response. You are speaking out of both sides of the discussion because you too are confused. I just said I do not like automatic dogs, others may need that degree of control. I just need good recall, civilized manners in the house, a cessation of barking when I say so, all of my dogs do that and always have. I also can recall my very upland hunter lab and jack russell terrier from bursting after deer, the lab always, the jack not always. I used to train field trial beagles and you do not need that kind of control nor do you want it. They did not run deer because they got a leash across their butts when they did (they could have been dead otherwise because deer running dogs could be shot or killed on the road). Is that abuse? I use very strong body language, I do also swat the dogs on the butt, sometimes they get a knock on the nose. I use vocal effusive positive praise, not always because some dogs as soon as you praise they get up. It is a matter of timing and understanding the animal, thus the observation phase.

They are not cringing and I have had probably 100 or more dogs under my care over the years because I ran a small rescue when in Virginia. Multiple mixed breeds that other more specialized groups would not take. I spent hundreds of hours on open group walks in 150 acres of land, I never lost one dog. My Jack was so hard to recall train maybe because I do not use shock and never have, I would run him down when he refused a recall and flip him over. He got to the point because he loves to be rolled and fight (he is a good Jack), that I could point my finger at him say “pow” and he would roll over and play dead because I wished he were dead so many times when he ran away. Running miles and miles and never knowing if you would hear the squeal of brakes and the thump is not a fun thing to do. All of my dogs always can run off leash reliably.

We go into remote and strange areas, dogs that have been with me for more than four months sometimes less always know how to track me down without me screaming my head off. The only time there is a delay is when the Jack is “busy” eating something. Once he hears the I am going to tear your legs off if you don’t come voice, oddly, he comes. My husband can never understand it because I sound like I am going to kill him sometimes. I tell him that is what the Jack likes, he is feisty, and he loves me so he comes. Need to know more? Ask me how I train for dual water retrieves, or did. Or maybe how I could downstay a beagle who was in hot pursuit in the middle of field trial when they would call out “pick them up”!?

People would hunt me down who took dogs from me because my dogs were so easy to integrate into the house and home. Combination of freedom and good sensible discipline. No clickers, no wands, few treats, no special effects, no New Age verbiage to explain auto-neurological behavior in dogs. Might be nice for a Piled Higher and Deeper degree but not necessary unless the dog is undernourished and you need to know how to correct that, or if that might be hindering the training process. Dogs learn through repetition, kindness, sometimes stern handling with the right degree of control and no anger. That is the way I strive to train.

[QUOTE=meupatdoes;6484083]
Oh yeah, your motivations along with several others’ were TOTALLY to kindly help the OP.
You were just being constructive and helpful when you said you don’t turn your dogs into robots.

I wonder how effective you guys would all be as professional dog trainers if your tactic was to yell at your clients about how abusive and incompetent they are, try to make them feel as sh*tty as you possibly can, yell at everyone else for how abusive and incompetent THEY are, and then flounce off feeling satisfied at scoring several great hits without ever actually addressing the dog in question.

A+ training advice![/QUOTE]

Calamber wasn’t one of the posters that was accusing my boyfriend of potentially being a wife beater or over blowing the swat on the butts to equal dog beating.

I know that it’s quite customary on this board that some people make wild jumps to conclusions and blow things out of proportion.

I do appreciate all the helpful advice and I’m very willing to try what I can and see what happens. Moving in with someone and living with others is never easy. We all have our ideas about how the household should be run.

I’ve watch a lot of “It’s Me or the Dog” and I actively enjoy reading about animals and training. The average dog owner does not do this and there are many kind people out there who love their dogs but think physical discipline is what works best. The same thing can be said with Parents and Children (not to open that can of worms). When you can show them another way and show progress their hearts and minds will open.

But yelling at them and making them defensive does not achieve the goals of teaching them a different way. I realize this with my boyfriend which is why I let him try his way and when it didn’t work he agreed to let me have a month to try my way.

I posted my original message when I was at my highest point of frustration with the barking dog. He had been barking/whining quite a bit that day and I felt lost and overwhelmed and exhausted. Like I said I am grateful for some of the advice I’ve been given and am actively utilizing it.

To those who were very negative towards me. Please consider that not everything is actually how you perceive it to be. There’s always more to the story. And while it’s good to be suspicious it’s also good to give people the benefit of the doubt. How you say things matters just as much as what you say.

[QUOTE=Calamber;6484166]
Yes, I am. Just because I am not being politically correct does not mean it is not constructive. Because you take offense at the word robot does not make it less of an observation. You are doing just what you accuse others of doing, reacting instead of thinking through the response. You are speaking out of both sides of the discussion because you too are confused. I just said I do not like automatic dogs, others may need that degree of control. I just need good recall, civilized manners in the house, a cessation of barking when I say so, all of my dogs do that and always have. I also can recall my very upland hunter lab and jack russell terrier from bursting after deer, the lab always, the jack not always. I used to train field trial beagles and you do not need that kind of control nor do you want it. They did not run deer because they got a leash across their butts when they did (they could have been dead otherwise because deer running dogs could be shot or killed on the road). Is that abuse? I use very strong body language, I do also swat the dogs on the butt, sometimes they get a knock on the nose. I use vocal effusive positive praise, not always because some dogs as soon as you praise they get up. It is a matter of timing and understanding the animal, thus the observation phase.

They are not cringing and I have had probably 100 or more dogs under my care over the years because I ran a small rescue when in Virginia. Multiple mixed breeds that other more specialized groups would not take. I spent hundreds of hours on open group walks in 150 acres of land, I never lost one dog. My Jack was so hard to recall train maybe because I do not use shock and never have, I would run him down when he refused a recall and flip him over. He got to the point because he loves to be rolled and fight (he is a good Jack), that I could point my finger at him and he shoot it and he would roll over and play dead because I wished he were dead so many times when he ran away. Running miles and miles and never knowing if you would hear the squeal of brakes and the thump is not a fun thing to do. All of my dogs always can run off leash reliably.

We go into remote and strange areas, dogs that have been with me for more than four months sometimes less always know how to track me down without me screaming my head off. The only time there is a delay is when the Jack is “busy” eating something. Once he hears the I am going to tear your legs off if you don’t come voice, oddly, he comes. My husband can never understand it because I sound like I am going to kill him sometimes. I tell him that is what the Jack likes, he is feisty, and he loves me so he comes. Need to know more. Ask me how I train for dual water retrieves, or did. Or maybe how I could downstay a beagle who was in hot pursuit in the middle of field trial when they would call out “pick them up”!?

People would hunt me down who took dogs from me because my dogs were so easy to integrate into the house and home. Combination of freedom and good sensible discipline. No clickers, no wands, few treats, no special effects.[/QUOTE]

I don’t believe I ever questioned your dog handling.

I questioned your (and others’) people handling.

Is it really important to you to try to make other people feel stupid or something? The dog training advice is fine, I’m just wondering why it matters to you to deliver it in this manner?

[QUOTE=threedogpack;6481961]
remember libgrrl, you are addressing Trak.[/QUOTE]

Oh Boy! Dog Parelli followers!

And don’t forget, just because some new BS about animal behaviour that a group came up with to make money isn’t immediately followed as something wonderful to deal with dogs. Dog Parelli and it’s sycophants can enjoy themselves. Dog behaviour is about it’s role and position in the pack. If horses have alphas in the field and the low status horse too, why not dogs? People need to be the head of the domestic pack, bad things happen when the dogs run the house.

Tone down the insults, engage the brain.

[QUOTE=Trakehner;6485264]
Oh Boy! Dog Parelli followers!

And don’t forget, just because some new BS about animal behaviour that a group came up with to make money isn’t immediately followed as something wonderful to deal with dogs. Dog Parelli and it’s sycophants can enjoy themselves. Dog behaviour is about it’s role and position in the pack. If horses have alphas in the field and the low status horse too, why not dogs? People need to be the head of the domestic pack, bad things happen when the dogs run the house.

Tone down the insults, engage the brain.[/QUOTE]

Well, yeah. I’m not big on “alpha” and “pack theory”, I’m not fond of any all encompassing theory, because none of them will ever be “right” all the time and rigidity doesn’t work. My basic tenet when dealing with animals (of any, non primate, kind) is…I’m the one with the big fat frontal lobe…that means I have to be the smart one and run the show ;). A right, and, more importantly, an obligation.

[QUOTE=Trakehner;6485264]
Oh Boy! Dog Parelli followers!

Tone down the insults, engage the brain.[/QUOTE]

wait, what? What was that about insults and engaging brains?