AmyM600, I am so sorry you are going through this. Your home is supposed to be your sanctuary where you feel safe, and this man has robbed you of it. I agree with the poster who said ‘Bingo’ when you mentioned that his family used to own all of the property and your neighbor can’t get beyond that mindset.
I agree with others who urge you not to up the ante in any way with a man who sounds dangerous - nobody needs an AK47 for God sakes, and the fact that he’s shooting a gun timed perfectly when you are passing on the easement is scary.
I ran into something not too dissimilar when our neighbor on the 40 acre farm next to us in Maine started holding male empowerment cult weekend retreats back in the 1990s. It was terrifying but the police would do absolutely nothing even when they witnessed the huge bonfires, men pacing around through the huge field beside us nude, creepy role playing stuff. I started carrying a shotgun out to do night check in my barn. Our response was to move because we had little kids.
My suggestion would be to videotape everything but don’t engage the lunatic. And, honestly, even though I know it sounds like running from a fight, some fights are not worth the trauma and potential danger of living next to lunatics. If it gets bad enough and you are scared for your safety, your family’s safety and your animals’ safety, move if you can.
I loved my farm in Maine and our nutjob neighbor robbed us of that, but I don’t regret getting away from that kind of crazy at all. I wish you all the best. Stay safe.
I’m sorry you are having to deal with this. Years ago (2000) I lived next to a woman who was mentally ill and if IIRC, a ward of the state. She had a long history of violence but no charges were ever filed because of her disability. I was eventually forced to move when the situation escalated to her following and threatening to murder me (loud and clear for all to hear). I had a lawyer, police reports, documentation, the works but nothing could be done. I don’t say this lightly, but you may have to consider moving for your sanity and safety.
Easements can spark wars.
It sounds like a flag lot? The shared driveway runs through OP’s property, and continues to the terrible neighbor’s property.
If I understand it correctly, OP is using the easement that goes through terrible neighbor’s. I wouldn’t do that, personally. Again, assuming I understand the property arrangement correctly. OP, have you read the easement description in your lease?
I don’t see where the OP ever mentioned that this is a lease? I don’t mind being proven wrong, but it sounds like they own the property in question?
@Amym600 , a few more thoughts for you.
I know this is not what you want to hear. So it’s coming from an internet stranger, and not someone you know who hesitates to damage their relationship with you. Because in truth your ability to use your rights to the easement probably should be curtailed by his behavior, and you should be avoiding any confrontation, in your own best interests.
First, being in any situation where you feel that you must have a gun with you for self protection, that you might have to use, even against a dog – for heaven’s sake don’t go !!! Do not knowingly place yourself in such a situation, ever! (Said by someone from & living in a gun-culture state, with (some) gun-culture family & friends.)
What if his aggressive dog does attack you or your dog, and Bad Neighbor is near you, even in the vicinity?
- The instant you even reach for your gun, for protection, chaos erupts. He over-reacts. His dog over-reacts. You have no control over what he or the dog does from that point.
In the chaos …
- You could shoot at the dog and accidentally hit Bad Neighbor. Your life changes radically from that point.
- You could shoot at the dog and accidentally kill Bad Neighbor. You are no longer in control of your life from that point.
- He could shoot back at you. Whether or not you did or didn’t hit him and/or the dog.
Even if things progress to violence without shooting. You see where this could go so very wrong for you, as well as for him. You cannot control these potential eventualities. You cannot control Bad Neighbor’s actions.
Keep in mind that, as you describe it, every time he escalates – you escalate. Then he escalates again. And so on. Think of a couple of people in a shouting match who are escalating to pushing & shoving, escalating to brandishing baseball bats, both refusing to back down and continually upping the ante, regardless of who escalates first each time – how does that end up? If there is no intervention, at some point in ends in violence because that’s the last escalation left. Either or both parties suffer serious consequences. Legal as well as physical.
Or – one party could stop escalating. One party could say to themselves “there is a better way” and walk out on the escalation to pursue other options.
Think about where the trajectory of the behavior of both you and your neighbor is going, as you described it in your first post. Pursue this legally, not through personal confrontation. In-person confrontation isn’t going to improve your situation, anyway, from what you have said of him.
This is speculative – When you talk to the attorney expert in bad neighbors, ask about whatever law is in your state for involuntary holds for mental health evaluation, if a person demonstrates that they are a potential or actual physical threat to those around them, including non-family-members. Some people are familiar with Florida’s Baker Act. Every state has some form of involuntary commitment, however many are not as widely applicable as the Baker Act in Florida. With the caveat that even Baker-Act-ing someone doesn’t necessarily solve the problem. They may be back in the same place at some point, with few if any changes. But it would get his attention and might have helpful results. And of course it would be another official record on the timeline.
So where does the continuous escalation end? The confrontation you are anticipating is likely not to happen the way you are planning. Because you don’t control his behavior.
As reluctant as you are to do so, avoidance is a far better means of self protection than working towards a confrontation. You are certain it will be verbal – but you don’t control his reaction. And it is fuel on the fire if both of you are armed.
Do you really think he will learn anything from you confronting him verbally? That he will change at all, from anything you have to say?
If you want to send him a message about filing charges against him, send it in writing. Not in person, not verbally. Better yet, have your attorney send the letter/email/whatever, by a means with the best chance of verifying that he received it.
Good luck. You are in a very tough spot with this situation. I hope you can find a livable solution.
One more thing to consider. I post this not to be alarmist but because there have been any number of instances of people who lost their rights or access to family land reacting murderously to the new owner/occupants – however the new owners came to be in possession of it.
The link below is from a 2017 Texas murder trial. A young man, William Hudson, who had a history of an explosive temper and violence against family and acquaintances, killed 6 members of a family he didn’t previously know, after self-inviting himself on their RV camping trip to explore the land they had just purchased from Hudson’s relative.
A 50+ acre parcel of rural land had been part of a larger parcel that had belonged to Hudson’s grandparents, then parents, and he grew up on it. Hudson felt that he should be a natural rightful owner of all of it. However, he himself never had an ownership interest in any of it.
The heir of this divided parcel (a relative of Hudson) sold it to the new family. Hudson was profoundly upset that it was leaving his family.
But Hudson hid his feelings and showed up as a friendly, but uninvited, visitor when the new family came in an RV to explore and enjoy their new land purchase. Hudson offered to show them around the land that he knew well. Without going into all of the details, over the next few hours Hudson managed to kill them all, except one survivor he overlooked when the lady hid. Hudson was caught, tried, and is currently on Texas’ death row.
Again, not to be overly alarmist. But given human nature, it seems like a huge mistake to continue to put oneself where you know that you will be in the physical presence of your irrational neighbor. Especially with guns involved! It doesn’t matter that he is coming to you, rather than the other way around. There is no gain to be had, no evidence that it is encouraging him to cease bothering your access to the easement road. And it could lead to a very bad outcome for you, however it played out.
Look into those meta sunglasses that have the recording thing in them. I don’t know how much they cost, but they were invaluable recently here in Florida when boat captain Brock Horner inappropriately boarded someone else’s vessel and acted like a complete ass. If you’ve been on the Internet in the last few days, I’m sure you’ve seen something about it. But thanks to that video. He was just arrested and is being charged for a**holeness.
Those sunglasses might be very useful to you because then this guy won’t be able to see that he’s being videoed and you can still get your evidence
Thank you all. Advice was all read and invaluable. I was worried I was being over reactive. I am boarding my main riding horse so I can ride with trainer. The other two can be hauled to the riding park or strictly in my arena away from neighbor. I will no longer be traveling anywhere near the bordering property or easement and only my woods. And lastly we are moving. There is no other way. Even avoiding property will not gaurantee safety since I am watched anytime I am out.
Just an FYI they have a little light on the front to indicate you are recording.
Obviously that idiot in FL the other day missed that. I imagine that most in a rage or other bouts of assholery would notice that little light.
So you are selling and leaving? I wonder if the neighbor will be a pill about that, too?
I am not saying don’t, not at all. I’m just thinking through the logistics. Can you sell him the land that’s on ‘his’ side of the road? Would that suffice?
Maybe selling him the land might work, or maybe not. Some people are so unhinged that they are not happy unless they are fighting with somebody. He sounds too volatile to try and find out how far he will go. Not worth getting shot over.
Hopefully he won’t show up and show out whilst you’re having showings to prospective buyers
