It might also be some peer pressure. Not that her friends are making her do anything but that she is seeing her friends do all this so it must be an OK thing to do.
Have you talked to the parents about this? It might be a good place to start, since they are who you actually have a contract with. Discuss your need to add these restrictions to the lease, and if they are not willing to make changes there is no need to go any further. You just end the lease.
@trubandloki absolutely! there are a few people with large horses that jump 3’+ a few times a month, and she is using the course they’ve set up (they are the ones who alerted me). However, my horse is quite small by comparison, so 3’ is relatively a bigger height for regular jumping
this only came to my attention a few days ago, so I’m working out my requirements before reaching out to her parents (she also has a show this weekend and I don’t want to stress her out more, so am probably waiting till after it, again, that people-pleaser conundrum 
).
I think waiting until after her show is a good plan.
Hopefully nothing she did while doing the fun jumps will make her show more challenging.
From the sound of your description, it sounds like there is a course set out in the ring everyone uses that’s not moved or lowered, and she was riding at the same time as these other people, and perhaps followed their lead. It doesn’t make it right, but it doesn’t sound like this was something done on her own initiative. A bit different, psychologically speaking, than setting up the course herself and cowboying about to see how much she could push your horse. Some teens are very timid riders; don’t assume every single teen is a limits-pusher (although they certainly exist in spades).
I would also add that I would make absolutely certain that the story wasn’t exaggerated secondhand. I don’t want to start a big leaser vs. owner debate, but I have on two separate occasions when leasing a horse being accused of doing things I simply did not do. I don’t mean “well, it was open to interpretation, but I don’t think it was that bad” but flat-out, did not do it, yet it was reported to the owners in no uncertain terms that I had. Yet once an owner has that niggling doubt about a leaser riding a horse too hard, it never goes away, and the horse so much as sneezes after the lease ride, the owner is inclined to be suspicious.
And I understand, because horses are expensive, unpredictable, and it’s scary to lease a horse. But as well as everything else, I would ask the young woman for her version of events, and then clarify you don’t want any jumping outside of lessons except for crossrails and poles.
@Impractical_Horsewoman - correct- she jumped a course at a height set by others who’d ridden before her. She actually posted a video of her jumping said course to Instagram, so I got to watch it for myself! But I totally hear you and appreciate your feedback
The barn owner has liability insurance. Or at least I sure hope they do… It’s a good idea to have your own liability policy if you take Dobbin off-property for any reason – shows, trails, vet or farrier. On both leases for which I am the lessee, the financial responsibility for medical related bills is spelled out & major medical & mortality coverage required on the horses.
I 'm getting off topic, though. Virtually every barn here has some sort of rules around jumping designed to prevent accidents and injury to the horse. A lot of people won’t lease their horse out unless it is going through a trainer, with the stipulation that the horse basically be kept in a program with the lessee required to take lessons, etc. You might consider modifying the lease to do the same.
I agree with @trubandloki – clarify/verify what occurred. If it was in fact as reported, then a discussion about jump height, conditioning, & longevity is the next step. As you pointed out, she may well not know what she doesn’t know. It’s common among riders of all ages now. That’s one reason I dislike the model of management where the trainer does everything, including serving as the sole point of contact with vets & farriers. The client doesn’t get the opportunity to learn & the horse becomes a commodity: “Fluffy’s limping? No problem, we’ll rent you another for the show this weekend. Just give me a blank check.”
Also agree with whoever stated that she may be outgrowing the horse. If she’s at the point of legitimately stepping up to 3’ and you know that’s not going to work out well for the horse, then it’s time for her to switch horses. Good luck!
Oh gosh, well, then she clearly didn’t know what she was doing was wrong! But having a general sit-down talk with the trainer, rider, and her parents as a “check in” on her progress, as well as clarifying the terms of the lease might be useful. It might be helpful for all of you to have lunch and discuss the horse’s future, and that might reduce the confrontational nature of it, if that’s still a concern.
All shock aside, how did they look on the video? If she wasn’t given a jumping height limit in the first place, I can see how she easily thought it was ok to go higher.
Remembering back to my teen days with my own horse and the things we did , attempted to do and failed at doing , I can see how watching others doing the course would have her wanting to as well.
Hopefully you have gotten it straightened out by now and all is well.
@trubandloki - thanks for checking in! I had a really good conversation with her trainer, and she spoke to the lessee, and I’ve also spoken to her and her parent, and am in the process of updating the lease agreement.
Thanks to all for the helpful suggestions!
Glad to hear things are working out well!
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