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New Mare Tense

I have bought and sold a few over the years, most have settled fairly quickly, some with no noticeable issue. The last mare I bought it took 5/6 months before she accepted she had moved and I was her new person. Bought in November she is just now starting to look, make eye contact, and hang out with me. She was seldom rude, but made it clear she was doing me a favour by tolerating me handling/riding,

I have also experienced where if a horse has been ridden exclusively by one person they can get particular about how they are ridden. My real rider asked me to walk that way, you are doing it wrong

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Have you contacted the seller and the sellers trainer? This kind of stuff can be so frustrating
 And you may get a warm reception with good information. You will not know until you try.

I admit if an older horse was sold as a safe dressage packer, and you bought online from a supposedly reputable seller but didn’t know the seller personally, and even the pro you got to ride her felt she wasn’t just tense, but so unsafe something was about to happen under saddle (but not on the ground), I would start to question some pieces of the equation. What else do you know about her history/show record and the seller? Especially since she came thin as well as worried.

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I just loved your comment ‘made it clear she was doing me a favour by
’ reminds me of my gelding who thinks he is ‘Gods gift to humans’ ; he has a very high opinion of himself.

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Hang in there, OP. You’re doing everything right. Don’t let short-term drama, from your horse or from this board, discourage you. Work through whatever it could be, step by step. You’ll get there. I completely feel your pain about a horse that seemed a fantastic match and then turns out to be other. She’s a mare; she is entitled. But once you figure it out, she just might be all that you wanted.

[Enablers unite!!]

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Same here. This wouldn’t be the first time a horse was advertised as something it didn’t turn out to be.

The friend I mentioned with the rescue ended up with the rescue after she spent a decent amount of money on a horse that had been there done that with everything, husband horse etc. Was described as quiet and “unflappable”. He had videos depicting everything described. They didn’t get close to what was advertised and could not use him for the intended purpose of a trail horse for her mother (who is a lifetime rider, just getting older).

At that point it was the choice to accept the horse as they were or sell and move on to another that was more suitable.

Editing to add - I very much feel the frustration having first hand seen friends go through it twice within a year. Unless you know the horse very well personally or know someone who does, it can be a gamble.

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Exactly! It’s important to remember re: these comments, that we really don’t know how “different” the mare is, since she was bought off of a video. It’s not quite the same thing as, “I used to lease this horse at another facility, rode her all the time, brought her home (or moved her to another barn) and now she’s like a different horse under saddle.” That CAN happen, but it seems to me that it’s more likely that either she was misrepresented, or the seller didn’t understand the buyer’s needs. Any horse can look great on video with a seller who is wise to showcasing the horse at her best.

I hope this works out OP, and we get a better update.

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We contacted the trainer/agent ( representing the owner) after the second ride, just to ask/ find out additional info as to why she might be tense/spooky under saddle. Was a total surprise to the trainer. She seems very forthcoming and always returns texts. Saddle fitter came yesterday for other horse and checked mare and said saddle would not be creating this behavior. Brought mare to a trainer tuesday for evaluation rides & possible interest. The report received yesterday was not favorable. I have been looking for info on herbal mare supplements, although the seller trainer was specifically asked if mare was on ANYTHING and said no. I am so disappointed, we looked for months. made appts to see ( out of state ) and they were sold before we could get there. I am an older rider so rideability is very important and honestly probably dont have alot of time to see if this works . I know forming a bond can take time but i should be able to at least w/t without wondering if she’s going to explode. i know–boo hoo for me. I should be happy I’ve had some good horses in my life. I was hoping to give it one more try.

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Yeah that’s not a good sign. I’m at a different point in my riding life, so would stick it out, but I totally understand if you’d want to throw in the towel.

I do encourage you to put her on a lunge and wear her out a bit and see if it makes a difference. If it were me, I’d put a saddle on her, and lunge with the stirrups down so they thunk on her a bit. I’d lunge for a solid 30 minutes with lots of transitions so she learns to tune into you and stop fixating on outside stimuli. Then see what you’ve got.

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Truthfully, it sounds like she wasn’t advertised to what she really is. Throw those expectations out, throw the whole previous owners story out and “start over.”

I don’t usually get on a new horse for about 6 weeks, sometimes longer. We start on the ground and start forming a relationship based on trust, respect, fairness and curiosity. I do A LOT of groundwork. Lunging with lots of transitions, halts and turning to face me. Yielding fore/hindquarters. Picking up and holding all 4 feet. Leading with and behind. Lots of backing up, and using body language to convey messages about tension/pressure release.

She has no idea who you are, or who her other handlers are yet. 2 weeks really isn’t a lot of time unless you’re getting out there 6 days a week to work with her. A little tough love here, but you either need to slow down and listen to what she is telling you, or you need to move her on to someone who has that capability. It is not fair to ask her to do things she isn’t prepared well enough to do, just because she is “broke” and could do it with someone else. The relationship she had with her previous owner/trainer simply won’t transfer to you just because you bought her. You have to work for it yourself.

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:+1:

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Im so sorry to hear that about the saddle fitting and trainer evaluation :frowning:

My second horse as a teenager was meant to be a project horse to finish to show. I found a green broke appy that fit what I was looking for; got him from a friend of the BO I was at that she had gotten many of her past show horses from (with BO’s guidance). We even had a 30 day trial period on him and all was great during that time. Day fricken 31 he turned into a different horse. He decided to start hard spooking at EVERYthing, even me just reaching up to scratch my own ear. We hung plastic shavings bags in his stall because even a crinkle of a sound would set him off. He would play with them though if no-one was around but if you even touched it in his stall he would run circles.

It started with just bolting which I rode through fine until that turned to bucking. He would rodeo buck and he bucked me off so bad that was the first time in my life I was ever afraid to get back on. I didn’t sign up to finish a horse like that, so there was a trainer at the barn we had work with him with no success either. At that point I was pretty over the whole experience as I couldn’t trust him and he went to a pasture home where they were told not to ride him They of course did and got bucked off.

This experience made me SO worried when I got my fjord that I would have a Jekyll/Hyde again. It’s a lot to go through. So much time, money, emotional investment, and hope.

With that all said, I do think bonding is a huge thing with a new horse. I had a lot of success with my fjord just visiting him once and sometimes twice a day. I’d groom him, do groundwork, take him for hand walks on the trail, sit with him in his stall and that was all very worthwhile. My own opinion with my friend that had the snarly rescue mare was that she needed a lot more of that. They had very busy schedules and coming up to work with her a couple times a week at best for the first couple months they had her, I don’t think helped her settle in.

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I bought a new horse over two months ago and also off video. On arrival felt he needed more weight so planed to wait until his back was filled in and looking healthy and ready for weight. Was told he would clip, bathe, load etc. Was not relaxed for any of that. Didn’t want to pick up feet. Walked away for grooming. Slight nips when I ran my hands over him. Also noticed he ONLY walked and on the RARE occasion he trotted/cantered always went into a bucking spree.

Start to get that gut feeling something is wrong and don’t want a pasture ornament. It’s stressful.

Was told teeth had just been done and seller sent vet report confirming - notes from vet were "no sharp points, no ulcerations, no issues. Also told he’d been dewormed. He wasn’t gaining weight like I felt he should.

Decided to start ticking off boxes to confirm health. Hauled him to my dental vet and found horrible sharp points, an infected tooth and wave mouth. It was all so apparent the minute we looked in with the headlamp and speculum. During dental sheath was cleaned and found three huge nasty beans.

Next took in a FEC (fecal ball for worm count) and found a gram count of 2100! 500 is considered high for those of you not yet doing those. Dewormed w ivermectin and in 24 hrs he broke out into body hives and began rubbing his body everywhere. Hives went away in 48 hrs.

Also decided to scope for ulcers and shocked to find NONE but did find a bot egg attached in his stomach - this was 7 days after deworming.

Also started noticing trotting and cantering and not ONE buck. Now out zooming around my pasture like a normal horse.

In the meantime he’s no longer afraid of the clippers, bathing, picking up feet, fly spraying, trailer loading all down with relaxation. He runs up to me in the pasture.

I know it’s hard but you’ve got to go Columbo and know this new horse of yours might be a horse of a lifetime but you’ve got to figure out what is wrong. Create trust. Take it slow. Make sure you have relaxation on all ground work before getting on. Confirm you have a healthy, muscled gorgeous back before you plan to ride on it.

Hope our story inspires you and I know how it is to get a horse that isn’t right. I’ve had this happen with three other horses over the years. Nothing is so satisfying as figuring out what is wrong and solving it. Clearly this horse needs your help. You can do it. Start ticking off boxes.

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