That sounds like an owner from hell.
7 Likes
My trainer once saw someone (not her client) at a horse show whose horse was seriously colicking and they didn’t want to give him any banamine or call the vet because “then we can’t show tomorrow.” She came down like a ton of bricks and told them they wouldn’t be showing anyway if the horse dies. They had no idea colic could kill him. Turned out the horse had a history of TWO previous colic surgeries that someone forgot to mention to them.
3 Likes
The “wrong” showmanship pattern posted, then took down and replaced with the “correct” one when the class was underway. I was in the class and saw them switch it out as I was standing around waiting in the lineup.
5 Likes
This was done purposely to undermine one or more competitors? If so, that is evil!
And I say this as someone who just might hold the record for bungling the correct showmanship pattern all on my own. (Which is why I gave up on it altogether) 
5 Likes
Yup! Also happened once or twice with a trail course pattern over the years. It’s a clique that “runs” the shows and they have each other’s back. They also put a Leopard Appy in a Solid Color class which left me scratching my head. I don’t show there anymore .
2 Likes
Conversely, I never could understand how a solid (or almost) horse could win Most Colorful at an App show. I know conformation factors in as it is a halter class, but when that’s the name of the class…?? 
7 Likes
My mother once was beefing with a well known grand prix rider who was doing some… kind of borderline jump training with his grand prix horse in the childrens hunter warmup and scaring the hell out of all of us. She went into his trunks that night and unstrapped all his jumping boots from each other and re-attached them in wrong pairs. Not all of them, but enough. I can’t imagine the meltdown the next morning.
30 Likes
Probably most of the fallout landed on the poor groom and not the GP rider…
7 Likes
I’m kind of torn, because the two biggest character trainers, the funniest to lesson with, I’ve had in my life, unfortunately shouldn’t be repeated here.
The funniest one was – not safe for work, shall we say. Even COTH.
You might have had to be there for it to be truly funny. It wasn’t just what he said, it is how he said it, the banter between student and trainer. LOUD. 
There was a barn joke that his lessons with adult students needed to be scheduled during school hours when children weren’t there to hear him.
The other trainer had some standard phrases, and I don’t know why they were always so funny. It was when he would choose to use them again. But, identifiable! Anyone who has ridden with the guy would know immediately who it is.
Maybe another one where you had to be there, because it was the context and the group dynamics in the moment that made it funny. We certainly knew what he was about to say next, here it comes, and that made it funnier, somehow.
2 Likes
Okay, that just sounds hinky. Like there was some persuasion going on between exhibitor/trainer/judge.
Along the same lines, a certain BNT (and noted Safe Sport “inductee”) would not only host the judges at his barn’s clubhouse, but he was also notorious for doing things like giving the judges a list of the numbers of his favorite riders. Another thing he did was make the judges aware that his horses would all be braided in a certain color, in one particular case, green.
5 Likes
I remember a European dressage guy who used to yell out for sitting trot 'Seet Seet(sit,sit) You know. It’s like S%X - you on top! ’
3 Likes
Ah, similar to the identifying corsages worn by the riders from the home barn at a show west of there.
Noting that green would be the color I’d expect. IYKYK
1 Like
Chiming in from dressage land to say that reminds me of all the German trainers (and announcers) who say “sick-sack”. That always gets some folks going “huh?” until they figure out that it refers to the canter zig-zag. 
8 Likes
My funniest hunter memories: “Were you trying to kill him?” when I had 3 chips out of 8 jumps…
“You looked like you were conducting an orchestra” after trying to get a lead change.
“That horse jumped so hard my nuts were in my teeth” re my lease horse who had a habit of throwing in a big one now and then.
“you have to wear your coat, Its GROSS to see people sweat” very hot day at a show when jackets were waived.
7 Likes
Well, when you’re sweating through the coat, that’s even more gross. 
4 Likes
I don’t know if any of these would qualify for your book, but all are remembered fondly by me.
I’m still good friends with former trainer/friend.
All took place in the early 90s.
-
There was a 2nd Year Green class that was considered among trainers to be their class exclusively, to show off clients’ horses.
Silly me, told my trainer/friend I’d show my TB in the class. We took 2nd in a class of Pros…
Who all came hustling over - with much clutching of pearls - to my friend to ask:.
"Why was SHE riding the horse?
I love him to this day for his answer:
"Because he’s her horse.
-
Trainer/friend asked if I’d loan my horse to a Jr client of his for Medals. Kid & I were both showing at the same show that weekend.
I did & through no fault of horse, she placed, but not Top 3.
She left the ring, got off & tossed him the reins.
Clearly, a Flounce was intended
He asked her if she was going to thank me, got no answer & called after her:
“You realize you were loaned a $40K horse!”
Truth, as a BNT had made that offer to me a year before at a clinic she taught.
Kid’s parents were in earshot. The horse they had bought her was in the low 4s. At least they had the sense to look shocked. -
I was done showing when a Fun Class was about to take place: Trainers Bareback
I was putting my horse away when T/F asked if he could use him in the class.
The expression on my horse’s face when instead of his stall, he was back in the ring NAKED! with T/F aboard plainly said
"What is wrong with this picture?
19 Likes
There was a very very nasty girl in the show scene growing up, we were tweens approximately. Rumor was, the nasty girl’s mother was embezzling money, got caught, and stopped paying the lease on the very fancy pony, who was assigned to another girl.
Before a show, the nasty girl offered to braid the pony’s tail, as a kind of send off and goodbye. The next morning, everyone is lining up and getting ready to load, and the trainer is screaming for some reason next to the pony. She’s holding up a huge chunk of his tail.
The girl had squirted Nair into the tail, resulting in about half of it falling out! The poor pony had to wear a false tail for the rest of the season and also had a couple sores.
I never saw the nasty girl again, but her mother was arrested for fraud a few months later.
5 Likes
Oh I’ve definitely had a trainer pull a shoe on a horse that I was leased out and I was coming up to see what was going on because she was making up from fun shennanigans about the horse acting like it was sick or dying. Turns out it was just not sound and earning its keep as much bc, that’s right, she and the lease kid crippled it with some nonsense and not bothering to pick its feet. Horse rehabbed and came back, but I suspect it just wasn’t responding as well to whatever they were drugging it with to keep it comfortable.
Drove hours. Couldn’t sit on it because it had “lost a shoe” and farrier didn’t come on weekends. Didn’t bother to tell me and I arrived to find out with the barn worker looking confused and mentioned that it had been off for at least a day or 2. Right about the same time when I had informed her that I was coming up for the weekend for a visit and to ride.
How do I know it’s BS? She called my Dad a week later trying to hit him up for money to pay for horse’s board. My Dad, being a huge fan of the horse and not born yesterday, told her it was my horse and I paid the bills, but that given he was “so sick and dying” according to recent reports given by her to his daughter, it was probably best he lived out his “last days” by us and that he should be shipped home immediately and that she could bill him for that shipping but he expected the horse to be home by end of week. He hung up with her and promptly called me at work and informed me horse was coming home and to have trainer get him a stall. Given that my Dad did not ever really call the shots with any of my horse’s care and just usually paid bills, I just said, “Ok. Can’t wait til he gets here”… and hung up. Horse was totally fine. Spent a year on and off lame but totally healthy, just somewhat out of shape. Got retired happily after about a year or so of trying to keep him sound. Horse lived another 6 years until he was kicked in the shoulder in a herd kerfuffle. So yeah… Not sick. Not dying.
3 Likes
At one point, there was a crazy bunch of pony mom mafia antics happening where ponies tails were being cut and all kinds of nonsense happening. Think it centered around the 2010-2015 timeline and probably most of it was around Pony Finals since it was like the freaking Minion Olympics.
If you google it, you can probably find some stories.
Some were pretty outrageous… think they had some that really teetered on safety threats to the kids and animals, which I thought was obnoxious and heinous.
2 Likes
This thread had some interesting moments: Top Ten Quotable Quotes from the brain dead at small shows.
1 Like
