Yes, people doing what they want in their own time can do “whatever”. B.E. and other entities (USEF, FEI,) have safety standards for a reason.:yes:
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Since you’re not looking for something that’s competition-rated, perhaps you could look into the protective vests marketed to motorcycle riders. They might have a greater size range available.
Many people seem unfamiliar with Ride Safe vests, which are the nicest and most comfortable and highly approved vest I’ve ever tried. I’m not plus size, per se, but I am barrel chested. I found the rep for Race Safe (Soteria Equestrian) to be very helpful with sizing and I was able to try a few sizes and return what didn’t work. I’d strongly encourage you to check them out.
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I’m heavier than I want. The Charles Owen fits pretty well. And once you have had it on for a bit it isn’t so stiff. I also really like the KAN vest.
Airowear or Kanteq. These are the only vests that fit a “womanly” body in my experience. 
Also look further than the usual mail-order providers. If you look at the likes of Dover or Smartpak they print size charts that don’t even acknowledge the full range of sizes that most of the manufacturers make. Best to find the manufacturer’s size charts, find what you want, and then figure out where to get it.
I will shill a bit for Adams Horse Supplies–they carry the full line for Charles Owen and Airo, and their largest options work well for me. (I have both a Kontakt 5 and JL9 in XL.) In the process of finding that out, though, I discovered that even when the sizing chart says something should be a perfect fit sometimes it doesn’t work out at all. (Sorry, Tipperary.) If by some wild chance you’re near Boston or southern NH and want to try one of the above on, feel free to PM.
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I agree that Adams Horse Supply is a good place to shop for less common sizes for rider or horse. After a Tipperary didn’t fit me at all, Adams suggested the Charles Owen Kontakt 5 that I find to be very comfortable.
