Pony dreamland

[Denali6298]

I was wondering why this thread was so long and never opened it because I thought it was another bumped up thread from years ago.

From what I gather Jsalem was trying to help the family after the fact. That being said, the mother needs to take a page from her son. He sounds amazing! Many people have come out of their shells from riding. I remember a barn mom, much like the author of the article/blog commenting about how one is never surprised to find out people ride and show because it gives kids confidence.

Jsalem I appreciate your position but this mother is like the barn mom I mentioned above. Obsessed with the lifestyle and not at all grounded in the reality of average riders. She seems to have not acknowledged her son not caring and that he just wants to ride until a big name rubber stamped it.

[PoochPaddock]

@Pennywell Bay

[B]

It is not being hateful, she’s not a victim. She posted a topic online (multiple times on multiple platforms).

Not throwing the blame on you but since you weighed in and know them so well?As a trainer, you’d surely know their budget if you’d discussed it with them. How can the prices be such a shock?

Why would a trainer- any trainer- not say “highest levels may not be his destiny- let’s get through 2’6 first?” or 2 foot. Or out of ponies?

[/B]

So much this ^^^^ as I read the article then perused the kid’s USEF record.

[Denali6298]

@PoochPaddock

So much this ^^^^ as I read the article then perused the kid’s USEF record.

Is it necessary to look up the kid? Come on now. The kid is talented and just wants to ride. This isn’t about the kid. It’s about the Mom and her delusions of grandeur.

[Mara]

@APirateLooksAtForty

Because the mother is exceedingly difficult. Not elaborating but was coming over here to say JSalem did NOT sell them current ponies or lead them down this rabbit hole. Nor did prior trainers try to steer them wrong by any means. Friend the mother on fb if you don’t believe she’s a handful. #mclainward

True or not, let’s bear in mind that the woman is Ziggy’s mother; if he does read The Chronicle he has very possibly dipped into the forums and threads that appeal to his interests. He’s young. Let’s be kind.

[PoochPaddock]

@Denali6298

Is it necessary to look up the kid? Come on now. The kid is talented and just wants to ride. This isn’t about the kid. It’s about the Mom and her delusions of grandeur.

For context, I felt it was. I wondered how in the world THAT much money could be spent in the first year of riding, and even more in the second year. For sure this is all on the mother and the trainer(s) who led her down that path. Nothing to do with the child himself because why would he know at his age that there is a different, less expensive way to understand and learn the basics and still be able to show and have fun. Most kids under the age of 14 or 15 have little to no concept of what things cost vs how much the parents make/have.

Mom posted the numbers and threw out some big names. I was dumbfounded, frankly, that someone who clearly isn’t part of the ultra-wealthy AA show set would be that dumb, for lack of a better word. So, yeah, I wanted to see exactly what was costing them so much along the way to PF.

[PoochPaddock]

@PoochPaddock

For context, I felt it was. I wondered how in the world THAT much money could be spent in the first year of riding, and even more in the second year. For sure this is all on the mother and the trainer(s) who led her down that path. Nothing to do with the child himself because why would he know at his age that there is a different, less expensive way to understand and learn the basics and still be able to show and have fun.

Mom posted the numbers and threw out some big names. I was dumbfounded, frankly, that someone who clearly isn’t part of the ultra-wealthy AA show set would be that dumb, for lack of a better word. So, yeah, I wanted to see exactly what was costing them so much along the way to PF.

[Denali6298]

@PoochPaddock

For context, I felt it was. I wondered how in the world THAT much money could be spend in the first year of riding, and even more in the second year. For sure this is all on the mother and the trainer(s) who led her down that path. Nothing to do with the child himself because why would he know at his age that there is a different, less expensive way to understand and learn the basics and still be able to show and have fun.

Mom posted the numbers and threw out some big names. I was dumbfounded, frankly, that someone who clearly isn’t part of the ultra-wealthy AA show set would be that dumb, for lack of a better word. So, yeah, I wanted to see exactly what was costing them so much along the way to PF.

No the Mom is that dumb. That’s why we need to leave the poor kid out of it. I would be mortified if my Mom blogged about me. The kid is talented, and he got the opportunity to ride with some great people. Please leave the kid out of it because yes, MOM is that dumb.

[PoochPaddock]

@Denali6298

No the Mom is that dumb. That’s why we need to leave the poor kid out of it. I would be mortified if my Mom blogged about me. The kid is talented, and he got the opportunity to ride with some great people. Please leave the kid out of it because yes, MOM is that dumb.

I haven’t seen anyone dispute the fact that the child is talented, myself included. The kid is IN IT b/c he literally IS the story.

[Impractical_Horsewoman]

Regarding the issue of payment a few people mentioned–I’ve never written for The Plaid Horse (although in the interest of full disclosure, some of my books have been reviewed by TPH), but I don’t know of any horse-related publication where people pay to be published, unless it’s a sponsored post (in which case it’s clearly labeled). Unless it’s a regular on-staff contributor or journalist, most personal essays to the majority of online equestrian publications I’m aware of are published for free or for a very small one-off fee. The amount might be a bit more if it’s an informational post with specialized knowledge and research.

As to why it was published? Well, I’m not on the staff, but it’s worth noting that just because something is published doesn’t mean the editorial staff agrees with it, only that they find it to be of interest to their readers, and let’s be honest, think it will generate page views and social media buzz.

Apologies if this takes the thread to far afield into writing, but it reminded me of a post that went viral among writers a few months ago, by an author who wrote an essay about how she essentially blew threw what for most authors would be a staggeringly enormous advance, and how she felt she wasn’t given enough guidance by her publisher and agent to manage her money. Unsurprisingly, the article was shared and re-shared, and her complaint did not generate a great deal of sympathy, and like this article, “the sum” was mentioned, which always is a bigger emotional trigger versus just saying “an awful lot of money.” It certainly generated interest, but not the kind that was necessarily helpful for the author.

[ynl063w]

@Pennywell Bay

Not throwing the blame on you but since you weighed in and know them so well?As a trainer, you’d surely know their budget if you’d discussed it with them. How can the prices be such a shock?

I’m quoting this post but this has come up several times, and I have a few comments about this viewpoint.

First, I think you are blaming the wrong trainer here (you say you aren’t, but then you kind of do just that); JSalem already explained that she did not sell any ponies to this family and that in fact, she was trying to help them sell them (someone correct me if I’m wrong).

Second, a trainer can ask a potential client what her budget is, but I don’t think any of them ask for the five previous years of tax returns, pay stubs, and bank statements, so they pretty much have to go by whatever the potential client tells them, hand over their price sheet, and assume the potential client is telling the truth.

I don’t necessarily think that a client being shocked by the amount of money being spent can automatically be blamed on the trainer. It’s not like it’s the trainer’s job to check in with clients on a regular basis to ask about the health of their finances. Even if the client stops paying the trainer at some point (and there is no evidence that is what happened in the subject of this thread), it’s not the trainer’s business to know what is going on with the client’s finances; it’s only his business to get the money owed.

[Denali6298]

@PoochPaddock

I haven’t seen anyone dispute the fact that the child is talented, myself included. The kid is IN IT b/c he literally IS the story.

And the mom should never had written about her hang ups under the guise of helping her kid. So I feel we should leave the kid out of it since the whole blog was really about the mom and her wack ass hang ups.

[EllenMCM]

I notice that mom is represented by a literary agency, but has not published any books. She may be trying to generate buzz to help with a sale.

The more I think about this (and I have absolutely given this too much time) the more I think this is really Mom’s way of writing about the changes that accompanied her divorce in an attempt to drum up as much attention as possible. I think she got some weird advice along the way. But if I had a spare $150K a year to spend on horses, I could come up with ways to spend it. I think all of us could. Her kid is still in pony dreamland and seems to be enjoying himself. He really does seem like a nice kid - hard-working, good to his mom. The tone of Mom’s article reminds me of the story about the family in Canada who hired a random guy who biked past their house without shoes to oversee the renovation of the literal crack den that they bought to live in. But with more horses. It’s too bad she chose to drag her kid into that. She’s got a post on her blog about buying a pig on impulse that doesn’t implicate either of her children or any local pig breeders. And while I’m not really drawn in by her writing style or by her description of pig ownership, that’s a more enjoyable piece than this one.

[Pennywell_Bay]

Eh. Looking up the record isn’t that unusual. Joining the USEF just to look it up would be stalker esque. No one is criticizing the child. The mom put it out there and the search allows to search for minors. Maybe it shouldn’t- but looking up riding records is done a lot. If someone wants a catch ride- what do they show in? The mom goes on about the immense talent she was trying to foster. I looked at the results, too.

Wondering exactly how often the A shows were attended and what were the results seems normal when the mom threw out such a high number. You can see results live at most horse shows on many sites. People look at pony and rider results all the time.

[inca]

Yes, I also looked up the USEF record. When you put the number in print, people are going to be curious how that much money was spent in the FIRST YEAR of showing ponies. We aren’t talking Road to the Maclay. That number would not be shocking in that context.

There is an easy way to avoid strangers discussing your choices and looking at your kid’s show record: DON’T WRITE A BLOG ABOUT IT ON THE INTERNET. And don’t have a national publication post it on Facebook. And she could have made the same point WITHOUT specifying that she spent $150K in the first year and “even more” after that.

I’m sure kid is going to survive this show season with no problem. He’s probably going to have a ball. Not so sure about mom. :rolleyes:

[Denali6298]

I love how people justify looking up a show record of a child just because said child’s mother is a train wreck.

[ynl063w]

Add me to the group that thinks there is never anything wrong with looking up anyone’s USEF record. That is literally the only reason USEF provides and updates the online database: so that people can search it for whatever reason they deem appropriate.

I have the same issue when people accuse others of “stalking” individuals on social media. The whole purpose of social media is to put your personal information, to whatever degree you choose, out there on the internet. If someone chooses not to limit who can see her social media, and complete strangers look at her social media and comment on it, those strangers are not stalking her. They are simply looking at the information the individual has put out there on the internet for anyone to see.

If you are going to show at USEF recognized events, you know that your results will be posted in the database and anyone with access to that database will be able to search your results. If you don’t like it, don’t show at USEF rated events.

[ynl063w]

@Denali6298

I love how people justify looking up a show record of a child just because said child’s mother is a train wreck.

You say this as though you think these people should be reported to Safe Sport and it’s a little weird.

[Denali6298]

@ynl063w

You say this as though you think these people should be reported to Safe Sport and it’s a little weird.

That’s quiet a leap. But okay.

[Midge]

@Sswor

I believe a trainer has an inherent responsibility to advise their client on THE CLIENT’s best interest, which usually should parallel the horses best interest as well. This mom’s trainer completely failed in that regard. Sure, mom should have been smarter about it and there is a sucker born every minute BUT, this industry is so rife with corruption and dirty dealings that we all get a bad name from these shenanigans. For goodness sake, why is integrity as rare as a unicorn in the horse world? There are very very few people who’s best interest involves spending 150K and yet, happens all the time. It’s in the trainer’s interest and the trainer’s interest alone for a client to spend that sort of money on horses and showing. Absurd is correct. It’s a predatory business. Fine for some, I guess.

I enjoyed the irony of Trainer in question coming here to waggle her finger and scolding people for being mean. Perhaps bitter at the loss of 150K/year. I think it’s gross that you enabled this. I don’t know how some people sleep at night. Redirection, I guess–focusing on all those mean people probably helps stifle any guilty feelings that bubble up from the shriveled remnants of a conscience.

If they are talking about buying ponies and Mom asks, ‘How much to buy a pony that will get to pony finals?’ and trainer says, ‘50k.’ and Mom says, ‘Let’s find one.’ How is that the trainer’s fault? As far as ‘best interest’, what do you mean by that? If the trainer goes to WEF for the winter and they want to go, how is that against their interest? The trainer is not a fiduciary. That’s like saying your hair stylist has a responsibility to point out a cheaper salon.

[ynl063w]

@Denali6298

That’s quiet a leap. But okay.

I will take your word for it since you are the one who said it, but that is really how it seemed to me when I read it: that you think it is creepy and disgusting that people are looking up the record of a USEF member in the USEF provided database simply because the USEF member in question is a minor. As though doing this to a minor is not at all okay. Why is that so offensive to you? I genuinely just don’t understand.