Putting a "healthy" horse down and push back from others.

[kashmere]

@halt

You know, I waited too long with my last horse and it just eats at me. A day early is far better than a day late. Hugs for you.

Once more, with feeling.

Putting this horse down with a spark in his eye as a happy young guy is going to hurt like hell. The only thing worse? Waiting until he is in pain with no prospect of relief. Horses only live in the “right now,” not the future. This guy isn’t thinking of all the things he’ll miss, he is thinking of how he feels in his body right now. And if he does go down the road of constant pain, he won’t be thinking back on all the times he felt good and being grateful for it - he’ll just be thinking of how bad he feels right now.

It is a huge, huge gift to him to make sure that all of his “nows” are comfortable and pain free. He will not know the difference. You will, and it will suck REALLY bad. But it will be the right thing.

[Lord_Helpus]

I just found out that my horse tested negative for DSLD. I was so sure he would test positive that I had already thought through my feelings and plans.

And, yes, I would have put him down.

There is another aspect to this mess which bears discussing: the horrible Big “M” — money. It is not fair to send him to a retirement farm. Most such farms are not able to put in the time to deal with a horse with a deteriorating health problem. And the idea of giving him away is even more unthinkable. So, assuming the horse stays with OP, under her direct supervision, at $500/month for board — the OP will be paying $6000/year. Add in vet bills and we are talking c. $7500/year. $7500 / year for a horse who can never be ridden again. AND the owner cannot afford a horse which can be ridden.

That is the cold hard reality, but no one likes to think along those lines. Perhaps offer your horse to one of the holier than thou people so they can stand in your shoes. Then see what they would do.

[retiredhorse]

Would it feel better if you re-framed horse as “young, but NOT healthy/sound?” I agree with everyone saying put him down. I don’t understand farm vet’s logic either (if she really wants him, she could offer to take him now and as is? why put in more training on an unsound horse), and would not call them about this horse again. And I think @Lord Helpus’ numbers are on the conservative side, though I do live in a pricey urban area. That’s roughly what it costs me to keep my retired horse and he does not have any major health/soundness issues (aside from being old and arthritic) – and were he to develop any, or if I could not afford to keep him, I would put him down.

[OverandOnward]

@DressageChic2

been here twice, once with a sound but aggressive horse who was talented but dangerous to ride…tried to retire him and thats when he started attacking people.

heard on the grapevine years later i had him PTS because i didnt want to keep paying for him…

recently a 5yo with ulcerative colitis which showed zero improvement despite every cocktail of drugs possible and again im hearing about how he was PTS because i couldn’t handle him!

people WILL gossip but be strong and do what you know is best.

There is no help for people like that. IMO, they sacrifice friendship to indulge their worst instincts. They certainly aren’t worth cultivating as friends.

Sometimes it is in times of trial that true character shows. People become heroes, or the opposite.

When I had to put down my horse, I felt very fortunate that it was a moment when I wasn’t in a larger board barn where a good many people would have been in the know beforehand. There were very few people to deal with on one of the worst days of my life, and they were all supportive and loving. It was so much easier not to have to deal with what might have been a lot of opinions and suggestions at the time. After it was done, I took my time putting together a remembrance and then sending out a general email to people who deserved to know what I had lost. Since they didn’t find out until later, there was less for them to say. That’s how it worked out for me, although I’m sure there are insensitive people who would even challenge the decision long after it’s done.

[ecpolo]

I’m so sorry you have to deal with this. Put the poor horse down, cry over it, know you did the right thing. Then get a new horse, new barn, and new vet and enjoy yourself without having to interact with those jerks.