Obvious to some, but not to all.
The OP thought the desired result was
"I also understand that we’re predominantly concerned with the horse’s jaw and getting them to yield the jaw to facilitate catching the impulsion and achieving the characteristic arch in the neck at the poll. "
that is part of the destination (but not the full view)
the journey there leads through a whole body experience for both horse and rider.
It is all connected. Over several bones the jaw is connected to the haunches.
I admit to being a pain in the as$, but could you change your title to “rein” rather than “reign”? I wince every time I read it because it is a pet hobby horse of mine. “Free rein” is when you give your horse its head and allow it to make its own decisions. “Free reign”, increasingly common, is meaningless. Only monarchs reign.
And cats. Don’t forget cats. 
And my pony mare.
Rein. And reins. Unless you’re speaking of the Royals… 
If you have tense, braced shoulders, circle them individually backwards to soften them.
No. It rains cats (and dogs)
@Jackie_Cochran I do indeed have tight shoulders. Really from my neck down to my mid back is generally very tense.
@BrendaJane I find it difficult to “segment” my back. If I keep my upper back straight, shoulders back, my whole back tends to get rigid and it’s hard to “slosh” any part of my torso. I suppose I need to maintain proper posture whilst also allowing the rest of my back to move freely.
I found it helpful to sit up straight by raising my ribcage rather than concentrating on my shoulders.
it’s not your back.
you sort of sit on the pockets of your breeches, behind the seat bone, not on the pointy part.
If that makes sense.
It is more of a visual than anything else, because if you sloshed while riding, well, it wouldn’t be good.
There is a pure beauty about tensing the teres major muscles at the very bottom of the scapulae. The bottom of the scapulae move down, the bottom of the scapulae move firmly against the ribcage, and the scapulae feel like they are acting like a splint (for a broken bone) that prevents the back collapsing and going “round”. The shoulder girdle relaxes, the shoulder joint moves DOWN, and all of a sudden your riding teacher starts praising your back (that is what happened to me, at least.)
This removes a lot of the human defensive postures that can really mess up your riding. You are carrying too much tension in your shoulder girdle from what you say.
When this happens then all your other upper body/shoulder/back muscles can RELAX because the teres major muscles have removed the need to hold these other muscles in tension. The two muscle masses going up on either side of the spine can relax and start working properly, the neck comes out naturally and in the correct position, you can RELAX your shoulder joints and let your upper arms act like a pendulum when the horse, in contact, moves your arms.
The muscles of your loin now feel more supported by the rest of your body and can start moving to absorb the movements of the horse. Your seat bones can smoothly rise and fall alternately as the spinal muscle masses contract and relax. This is the basis of the much written about “deep and supple seat”. When seated at the walk or trot your seat bones alternate going up and down, forward and back, following the muscle masses as they tense up and relax.
It has been written by equestrian authors that the rein aids can/should start at the shoulder, keeping contact relaxed and supple. Well I tried and tried, and the horses told me “no, No, NO!”. I gave up to the horses’ relief. But now I think that these master horsemen were really talking about using the teres major muscle as the starting point for the hand aids. I have started experimenting with this but personally I am not yet to the point that the horses realize that this is really a hand aid instead of my normal accidental movements of my hands. That is fine, I will improve, the horses will notice, and we will add a new “word” to our conversations between my hands and the horse’s mouth.
The results are sublime.
From an earlier comment about difficulty sitting the trot, I suspect that the rider is not yet at a level to ask for true collection. As stated many times, collection comes from behind, meaning the horse bends his hocks more, tightens his abs, and lifts his back. In order to do this the rider must not only be able to sit the trot but must also be able to work within the trot. There should be no accidental movement of the hands, which is usually the result of the lack of an independent seat.
The reins of an already engaged horse softly request that the horse flex at poll and relax his jaw. This can be achieved only when the horse is coming up from behind.
Collection is one of the hardest things to achieve in riding because It is a dynamic conversation between horse and rider. What works one day might not be so effective the next because… you had a bad day at work and your body is unconsciously tense; the horse dislikes the wind; you’re thinking about the kids maths test; the horse is bored today; a new horse has arrived and the energy in the horse herd has changed; you got a pay rise… we all have good days and otherwise and it takes a good level of skill and focus and understanding to ride and train consistently. As a wise man said, riding is simple it just isn’t easy.
When I teach, I obtain visible improvement in the rider and the horse, with the rider both feeling and upstanding why. Only at the end may I point out that I haven’t mentioned the reins at all. Learning to stop a horse on a breath is magical.
Like everything, it is a step forward, 2 back. Developing enegry and strength, letting the body adjust to both, and pushing the bar further the day after.
the yo-yo effect: Go faster to go slower, go slower to go faster.
To simplyfy it*
Yes, the collected trot should not be particularly difficult to sit, and if it is, the rider needs more seat lessons. The lengthened and extended trots can legitimately be a challenge for adult ammies on big moving horses. They can be a challenge to even post at first. If you can’t sit the collected trot and at least post the lengthened or extended trot on your horse, then you need some focused practise before you can actually influence the gaits.
@Jackie_Cochran Time for some deep tissue massage 
@Willesdon I am definitely at the whim of day to day changes, whether that’s something going on differently that day for me, or the horse, environment, etc. Working on consistency, within lessons and between lessons is up there in terms of priorities regardless of what’s going on with life.
@BrendaJane I have a bad habit of being tipped forward. I do notice when I sit back, the sitting trot becomes a bit smoother. Perhaps that is when I’m sitting on my pockets so to speak.
@Scribbler Posting isn’t a problem, lengthened or extended and I can pick up on how my posting energy or lack thereof influences the collection. Sitting at the collected trot I just find difficult, almost uncomfortable. It’s easy to feel the movement posting, even at the canter it’s easy to move with the motion. But for some reason, the sitting trot I find odd and can’t quite feel the pattern of the movement. Looks like I need to sit and feel more.
to sit back requires a lot of core strength.
And a set of eyes on the ground to remind you when you are perching again!
Somebody once told me - a long time ago - that a long time ago they learned to ride in France and were made to lean way back in the saddle to develop stomach muscles. I have to take it at face value, I have no way to verify this info.
But core strength is really important to balance well in the saddle and not slouch or lean.
This also depends on the horse, it doesn’t help if the horse has a trot like a jackhammer. Have you tried sitting to the trot on different horses?
About the sitting trot. I still remember my first attempt to sit the trot (the riding teacher called in the "pleasure gait!), bam, bam, bam.
That went on for a while. Then I learned one method (British Horse Society full instructor) where I absorbed the up and down motion with the small of my back.
But decades later, and since I have MS and I really work at not jostling my brain or spinal cord, the horses led me to another method.
This is hard to time if the horse’s back does not “swing”.
My pelvis follows the saddle from side-to-side. One seat bone ends up higher than the other seat bone, the higher seat bone is on the side that where the back feels like it is moving forward a little bit, so my seat bone on that side goes forward, it is UP and FORWARD, just a little bit, just enough to follow the motion of the horse’s back.
Of course, the next diagonal my seat bone on the opposite side goes UP and FORWARD, again just a little bit.
I have to be careful not to weight one seat bone more than the other seat bone while doing this (unless I give a subtle weight aid, rare).
Continue moving your seat bones this way throughout the sitting trot, moving your seat bones side to side while dancing the Twist.
As for my HANDS–They are relatively still (some variations in finger pressure), with mostly relaxed and “loose” fingers. I accept whatever head carriage the horse gives me, if it is inverted I “invite” the horse to reach for the bit with a light “give and take” and moving my hands forward a little bit. MY HANDS DO NOT MOVE WITH THE REST OF MY BODY!!! You can only do this if most of your shoulder, arm and hand muscles are relaxed with the joints being free to move.
If my hands moved with the rest of my body the horse would “suck back” or invert, and his trot would become much rougher.
At the same time, if I feel the need, I also absorb the motion in the small of my back (loins).
I absolutely refuse to sit a jarring or super bouncy sitting trot because I am desperately trying to avoid any further damage to my brain and spinal cord. My totally unproven hypothesis is that a super-bouncy or jarring sitting trot can cause the pre-frontal cortex of the brain to bounce off the skull, and I also “worry” about the effects on my brain stem.
My present lesson horse has a jarring sitting trot even when his back is “swinging”. I can ride it but after a few strides my body is telling me that I am a total fool and to start posting! My riding teacher has gotten used to this, but I do not know if a dressage instructor would accept that from a student. This is the MAJOR reason that I avoid dressage lessons, with my MS and my brain and spinal cord damage, plus my terrible sense of balance, I would fall off a big gaited horse while being lunged without stirrups after having my brain pounded against my skull and my brain stem abused.
I am an extreme case in this. Your brain and spinal cord probably have a lot less damage than mine do (head on collision car wreck, plus many concussions, plus the denuded neurons from my MS).
I hope this answers some of your questions, and it probably also answers questions you have not thought of yet.
50 years ago my seat went BAM, BAM, BAM in the saddle at the sitting trot. It took me a few weeks of good riding lessons to stop not slamming into the saddle. It took me several more decades to develop a seat that feels velcroed to the saddle while my brain is not slamming into my skull.
I loved the sitting trot before I knew I have MS. It was relaxing and enjoyable and the horse seemed happy too!
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