@centaursam,
About the sitting trot. I still remember my first attempt to sit the trot (the riding teacher called in the "pleasure gait!), bam, bam, bam.
That went on for a while. Then I learned one method (British Horse Society full instructor) where I absorbed the up and down motion with the small of my back.
But decades later, and since I have MS and I really work at not jostling my brain or spinal cord, the horses led me to another method.
This is hard to time if the horse’s back does not “swing”.
My pelvis follows the saddle from side-to-side. One seat bone ends up higher than the other seat bone, the higher seat bone is on the side that where the back feels like it is moving forward a little bit, so my seat bone on that side goes forward, it is UP and FORWARD, just a little bit, just enough to follow the motion of the horse’s back.
Of course, the next diagonal my seat bone on the opposite side goes UP and FORWARD, again just a little bit.
I have to be careful not to weight one seat bone more than the other seat bone while doing this (unless I give a subtle weight aid, rare).
Continue moving your seat bones this way throughout the sitting trot, moving your seat bones side to side while dancing the Twist.
As for my HANDS–They are relatively still (some variations in finger pressure), with mostly relaxed and “loose” fingers. I accept whatever head carriage the horse gives me, if it is inverted I “invite” the horse to reach for the bit with a light “give and take” and moving my hands forward a little bit. MY HANDS DO NOT MOVE WITH THE REST OF MY BODY!!! You can only do this if most of your shoulder, arm and hand muscles are relaxed with the joints being free to move.
If my hands moved with the rest of my body the horse would “suck back” or invert, and his trot would become much rougher.
At the same time, if I feel the need, I also absorb the motion in the small of my back (loins).
I absolutely refuse to sit a jarring or super bouncy sitting trot because I am desperately trying to avoid any further damage to my brain and spinal cord. My totally unproven hypothesis is that a super-bouncy or jarring sitting trot can cause the pre-frontal cortex of the brain to bounce off the skull, and I also “worry” about the effects on my brain stem.
My present lesson horse has a jarring sitting trot even when his back is “swinging”. I can ride it but after a few strides my body is telling me that I am a total fool and to start posting! My riding teacher has gotten used to this, but I do not know if a dressage instructor would accept that from a student. This is the MAJOR reason that I avoid dressage lessons, with my MS and my brain and spinal cord damage, plus my terrible sense of balance, I would fall off a big gaited horse while being lunged without stirrups after having my brain pounded against my skull and my brain stem abused.
I am an extreme case in this. Your brain and spinal cord probably have a lot less damage than mine do (head on collision car wreck, plus many concussions, plus the denuded neurons from my MS).
I hope this answers some of your questions, and it probably also answers questions you have not thought of yet.
50 years ago my seat went BAM, BAM, BAM in the saddle at the sitting trot. It took me a few weeks of good riding lessons to stop not slamming into the saddle. It took me several more decades to develop a seat that feels velcroed to the saddle while my brain is not slamming into my skull.
I loved the sitting trot before I knew I have MS. It was relaxing and enjoyable and the horse seemed happy too!